Oppo, I am depressed.

"mazda616" (mazda616) 07/30/2014 at 15:25 • Filed to: None

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Unemployed for four months now. Didn't expect to make it a month past my being let go before I was back at work. Got denied for unemployment as well, since my former employer stated that I quit instead of the truth (which was them literally telling me to leave in the middle of the day). My wife is working, so we are able to keep our heads above water financially. I'm not exactly thrilled about not contributing financially and relying on my wife for money. Of course, we've taken a chunk out of our savings...and our long-term plans (buying a nicer home in a nicer area, having a child, etc.) are now even MORE long-term.

Oh, and why did I get let go from former employer? I scored an 84.38 on preliminary training quizzes instead of the required 85.

That Bachelor's Degree I worked so hard to get back in 2012 sure seems pointless now. I've applied for almost 70 jobs, all of which I'm qualified for. There just isn't any interest. The job market (particularly where I live) sucks. And I can't relocate because my wife's job is leading her to a promotion soon and my grandmother lives here (and I help take care of her because we have no other family anywhere close).

Oh well. Here's a picture of my car (which is paid off, thank God) for your time. If you don't like it, well, I apologize.

dogisbadob > mazda616 07/30/2014 at 15:30

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Can't you appeal the denial? How long were you at the previous job?

Anyway, good luck!

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > mazda616 07/30/2014 at 15:31

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Sorry to hear our troubles - keep at it. Hope things turn around for you soon.

Nice car.

mazda616 > dogisbadob 07/30/2014 at 15:31

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Oh, I appealed it. We even had a hearing. But they sided with the former employer yet again.

Frank Grimes > mazda616 07/30/2014 at 15:36

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Nice photo! having a miata I notice more mazdas and I like them. I hate the RX8 but the sedans and SUV/CUV are all really nicely designed.
Anypoo

It sucks you are unemployed and it must be frustrating and crappy to have to rely on your wife but I dont think you should look at it like there is anything wrong with it. Sure society sorta or at least used to tell us that it is the mans job to provide and I still believe that but that doesnt mean that because you are unemployed there is any reason to feel bad about yourself or anything. There are lots of couples where the wife supports the husband and makes all the money and the dude is in medical school or something.

Isnt there some kind of appeals to the decision for unemplyment seems really stupid that its basically up to the employer to decide if you quit or not when it seems like a conflict of interest.

Things could be much much worse you could be living at home single and have no idea what you are doing with your life. Just like my friend. My friends name is...John. John Smith. I am severly depressed and in therapy. Maybe you should consider it.

Also this book is great.

mazda616 > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 07/30/2014 at 15:36

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Thank you. It has 66,620 miles as of today and I still really like it. Next month, I will have had it for five years. Glad I'm not tired of it, yet. Because there is zero opportunity to buy anything else in the near future.

Abject_Penitent > mazda616 07/30/2014 at 15:38

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That's some b.s. man. Keep at it and good luck out there. I also really dig your car

Klaus Schmoll > mazda616 07/30/2014 at 15:57

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I know that feel. After graduating it took almost 3 months to get my first "real" job. People always say things like "Well, if I had the time, I would do XYZ..." If you actually have the time unvoluntarily you will do none of that. I just changed my sleeping habits completely, watching TV and streaming TV series all night and sleeping all day while feeling like unwanted crap. It'll all be over once you get another job.

mazda616 > Klaus Schmoll 07/30/2014 at 16:00

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What's funny is that I am either under or over-qualified for like...everything. I'm about desperate enough to lie about my education (so as not to be over-qualified) and just take a job as a cashier somewhere.

Klaus Schmoll > mazda616 07/30/2014 at 16:04

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I feel bad, but I had to drop this here:

PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power > mazda616 07/30/2014 at 16:19

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I'm sorry man... that sucks, really, but i'm sure you'll find something eventually. If there's one thing I learned about getting jobs It's this: fake it till you make it.

Now i'm not saying you should lie! just... bend the truth, ok? ;)

Frank Grimes > Klaus Schmoll 07/30/2014 at 16:27

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This is my last resort. 1 bedroom apartment everything brown and have a slightly sweet musty very humid type of smell kind of like church. I will drive a terrible 80's brown american sedan a tv two sets of clothes and frozen food for my entire life. maybe some paints and canvas and a xbox and piles of books.

I will live alone and without freinds I will go through life escaping to books and tv and video games and painting hopefully mostly painting when I am not working the crappiest easiest job I can find. I will be a total recluse and wont even have to shower very often. Some say it will be to escape my fear of failure others will questioning whether I am just rejecting everything and everyone before they reject me but I will just sit on my couch in my gray stained worn out sweat pants and read Balzac and think I am smarter than everyone else.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > mazda616 07/30/2014 at 16:30

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I had an '05 3s hatch I flogged around town for 7 years and 90k miles. Loved that little car... Guessing your 'speed is even more fun!

mazda616 > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 07/30/2014 at 16:32

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Well...mine's not actually a Speed. It is also a 3S. It has a Speed3 exhaust, and Eibach lowering springs. But it is just a regular ol' 3. I wanted a Speed3 at the time, but I was only 19 and insurance was beyond outrageous. It was expensive enough on this car. I still have fun with it, though.

Klaus Schmoll > Frank Grimes 07/30/2014 at 16:34

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I guess you didn't see the movie?

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > mazda616 07/30/2014 at 16:45

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Ah, the grill fooled me for some reason... Still, great car. I put the lightweight 10-spoke from the Miata on mine:

E92M3 > mazda616 07/30/2014 at 16:46

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Have you contacted a temp agency? I know a lot of people who got permanent employment after temping somewhere for 2-3 months.

mazda616 > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 07/30/2014 at 16:56

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Those look awesome. I want different wheels so badly, but that's never going to happen. I'm OCD and would still want my TPMS to work (can't stand the stupid warning light) and I can't afford custom wheels, either. But maybe someday.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > mazda616 07/30/2014 at 17:13

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Mine didn't have TPMS, side airbags or even ABS - ha!

Alex from Toronto > mazda616 07/30/2014 at 17:15

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I'm sorry to hear about that hopefully you find a place of employment soon.

Frank Grimes > Klaus Schmoll 07/30/2014 at 17:33

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no. how would that change how crappy I feel sometimes?

Klaus Schmoll > Frank Grimes 07/30/2014 at 17:37

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Probably not. How is that shop teacher gig going for?

Rico > mazda616 07/30/2014 at 18:35

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Sorry to hear about your situation being unemployed is always tough and depending on people always make you feel like less than a man but just remain positive as things will change for the better before you know it.

1. When you didn't qualify for unemployment how come you didn't try to appeal? I would've fought tooth and nail for it.

2. Last semester in school my professor explained to us how tough the current job market is. She has a Master's degree and was getting absolutely no where. No one would even look at her resume. She was told by a recruiter to take it off her resume and to lie about her education, in doing so she was able to land a number of interviews and didn't say until after obtaining the position she wanted what her actual education experience was, my suggestion is to do the same. Unfortunately no one wants to pay for someone with a Bachelor's degree in this market.

3. Take this time to apply for City/State jobs, these things typically take years to pan out and to get a phone call but you've got time on your hands to go and take any exams they might require and you don't know what your situation will be like 2 years from now, who knows it can be a big break. Apply for any city/state/Sanitation jobs. Sanitation jobs in NYC are union and people regularly start at 50k a year + more earned with overtime.

4. Have you looked into Temp Agencies? A temp agency is how I got my big break, you can meet people and network even if you only work somewhere for a few weeks, maybe they'll like you so much they'll offer you a permanent position.

5. You shouldn't feel ashamed to take a job as a cashier somewhere or even stock at a supermarket, any income will obviously help even if it's part time. If I were in your shoes I would even do porter/janitorial work I wouldn't even care as long as I was bring home some kind of bread and not depending on my girl. Throw any pride you have out of the window.

6. Look into taking out a Commercial Drivers License, you can study and take an exam and possibly drive City Bus or School buses or delivery trucks, they make good money and you've got the time to do it.

mazda616 > Rico 07/30/2014 at 18:50

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I did appeal my unemployment verdict. I wrote the letter they required, provided all info, and went to my hearing. They just denied my appeal. And in the state of Krntucky, once your appeal is denied, you're done.

King Ginger, not writing for Business Insider > mazda616 07/30/2014 at 19:20

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I had the same situation happen. The hardest part was the unwanted advice ("have you been networking?","are you applying?"...really, that is what people ask). I applied to over 400 hundred positions through LinkedIn, corporate websites, in person, by phone, everything...and the one that took me was one that I had interviewed for at the beginning of the 6 months of unemployment. Strangely, just as I took it, 2 other roles that I thought has long since gone came looking for me but I couldn't in good conscience walk away before I had even started...

I had to set my salary lower and look for lateral positions (levels above I was underqualified for and levels below that should have been a shoe-in were closed because of fear I'd ask too much or leave) and while the role I have now is great it did set my goals back a year or two as well. If you want advice, I'm more than happy to offer it up, just let me know.

mazda616 > Frank Grimes 07/30/2014 at 19:22

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Coincidentally enough, I had started counseling before I lost my job (dealing with long-term self-esteem issues from my childhood or lack thereof), but we couldn't afford it anymore. We have enough scraped together now (after paying all bills) for me to go back, thankfully. So that starts again on Friday.

Frank Grimes > mazda616 07/30/2014 at 19:28

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well you should feel good about that! thats a positive step. I havent been going long but it was hard to start and hopefully it will help with my issues I am very critical of myself and am constantly fighting negative thoughts and depression also I gots the ADD.

Noah - Now with more boost. > mazda616 07/30/2014 at 22:55

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"What color is your parachute" really is golden. I was going to recommend it too. As someone graduating in a semester I definitely feel these feels right now. "Graduate to a great job (make your degree pay off in today's market)" by david delong is also excellent. It paints an honest picture of today's job market and instructs you on how to attack it. I felt SO much better after I read it. It took all the mystery out of the process. Plus, there are incredibly useful tidbits like "only 5% of applicants have a personal website (for showing off your accomplishments/qualifications/links to your internet presence elsewhere, such as linkedin), but 70% of hiring managers say they will visit a personal site if an address is given). read Parachute for the soul-searching, delong's book for the hard facts, and I promise you will feel at least a little bit better. I know I did. Something about being able to finally wrap my brain around exactly why the process & job market are so shitty helped. It seemed less daunting once I understood why it would be hard, and what exactly I should (and should not!) do to gain an edge. A lot of the advice in this thread is very solid and very much in-line with delong's book. Big job sites and rando applications really are fucking useless and therefore a waste of time. Frustrating too. Good luck with your search man. Persistence is definitely key from what I understand.

thebigbossyboss > mazda616 07/30/2014 at 23:53

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Don't dismiss entrepreneur ship as a way out.

If you've been thinking about a market niche you want to fill or asking yourself is there a market for "x" now is a great time to try.

Saf1 > mazda616 07/31/2014 at 20:13

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Similar boat brother, my life's in a slump atm, unemployed and pretty much nothing else going on at all really. I would say focus on the good things in your life, spend loads of time with your wife or family and volunteer, even the simplest roles like standing with a bucket and just talking to people who drop change in, wish them a nice day and give them a sticker, I was doing this today for the Red Cross and I didn't think once about all the stuff that bothers me even though I wasn;t doing much either (tbf I did this with a friend and you can do the same with your people). I don't think there's anything I can suggest jobhuntingwise that you probably haven't tried already, but I hope things brighten up for you soon :)