"Mach-inator" (Mach-inator)
07/25/2014 at 10:45 • Filed to: Found on Craigslist
2
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"Mach-inator" (Mach-inator)
07/25/2014 at 10:45 • Filed to: Found on Craigslist | 2
| 1 |
This ad from Jacksonville bleeds backwoods. The buyer must "have made love in the cab of a previously owned vehicle". He likens the interior to Faith Hill and the exterior to Kim Kardashian. You have to read it all:
Original Ad:
!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!
I'm selling my beautiful truck. However, there are some pre-requisites that have to be met before you can even think about purchasing this vehicle.
1. You hunt
2. You fish
3. You have made love in the cab of a previously owned vehicle
4. You're idea of a perfect dinner consists of steak cooked rare with a huge baked potato
5. ....Craftsmen tools....
6. Country stations are the only presets you have on your existing radio
7. You know the difference between a .308 and a 7.62
You can NOT purchase this vehicle if any of the following applies to you:
1. You voted for Obama
2. You support and/or a member of PETA
3. You drink import beer
4. You currently drive an Imported Vehicle
5. You are a vegetarian
6. You don't do your own vehicle maintenance
7. If you don't like women
This vehicle was made for red blooded hard working Americans. Not some limp wristed pansy who insists on violating every right my family members have fought and died for.
Now, that the important stuff is out of the way lets discuss the details and specifications.
4.6L V8 raw power good for towing a small to moderate sized boat, corn to your deer lease, a trailer for work, and really anything your heart desires
4x4 for those 'sticky' situations. If the mood strikes, get a lil mud on the tires. It's what the 3in body lift, these 33in mud terrains and 16in Elite rims were made for.
Regular cab with 40/60 bench seat and center console (the seats slide back for those 'sticky' situations with your woman)
After market headunit with AUX port for blasting that solid country gold to piss off the liberal neighbors for miles around and a set of tweeters to ensure they hear every word hank jr has to say.
It comes with camo Corodora seat covers. They have protected the seats for many miles and they look brand new, aside from one little spot where my spot light singed the material. I also had a camo headliner installed about a year and half ago.
Overall the Interior can be compared to Martina Mcbride, Faith Hill, or Reba; its got some wrinkles, but can still pull off a little black dress.
....it comes with a gun rack....
If the interior can be compared to Martina, Faith, and Reba, the exterior can be compared to Kim Kardashian. She got a set of hips. This step-side beauty has had some minor plastic surgery. She got a new coat of paint about a year and half ago. There's some minor dings and smudges but that's expected when you kill as many deer as I do and you gotta go in and get them.
A small tree attacked the grill...the tree lost...but shes got the scars in the form of some cracked plastic. Hey, when the dogs jump, you gotta go cut em...
Which leads me to the next point. There's a CB radio installed, however, the radio and whip antenna stay with me, I will leave the antenna mount, and CoAx cable though.
This truck has served me well for almost 260,000 miles. Shes still going strong. The motor has 140,000 on it.
Its hard to put a value on such an invaulable piece of equipment, but for 5,000 American Dollars, this deer killing, duck slayin, fish catching, mud slingin, head turning 4 by 4 can be yours. I may even enjoy an ice coldbeer with ya after we shake hands. I will have to give a toast goodbye to my beloved truck.
For questions, comments, or concerns, you can reach Jaryd Hurst at !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!
yes, this is a serious ad.
Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
> Mach-inator
07/25/2014 at 14:18 |
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Is there any chance this Ford is made in Canada?