Driving Nirvana Comes But Once Every 4 Years

"KylesPerGallon" (gentlemandriver) 07/23/2014 at 15:32 • Filed to: None

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This is big. This is huge. I need to start planning now to make sure everything is perfect.

What I'm doing is waiting for the planets to align. Thankfully this won't require a degree in Astronomy or Physics. What is this magical time I'm waiting for? I'll let David Couthard explain what I'm so excited for.

If you haven't figured out what the plan is yet, the entire country of Germany was packed into their Kneipen [pubs] and glued to their Fernseher. That means they weren't on the road. What could possibly enthrall the entire nation? You've surely guessed it by now.

Fußball.

With the German national team showing huge promise in the World Cup this year, pride began to envelop the entire nation. We felt it here in the states with Dempsey and Howard inspiring the nation that holds fast to their NASCAR and Baseball. Imagine what its like to a country that spends over €2bn a year on the Bundesliga. When the match starts it brings the entire country to a screeching halt. Its 2014 so you're not going to listen to the game on the radio, you want to see it in glorious 1080p. Which means that people want to be in front of a television set, and that means they wont be auf die Straße.

But you don't care. You're not German and you're team was eliminated already. The only German team you care about is Mercedes F1 or DTM. So now is your opportunity to strike. Like taking candy from a baby. The biggest problem with driving fast on the Autobahn is finding the right stretch of road and hoping its empty enough to try to weld the accelerator to the firewall. This becomes exceedingly more challenging with a lot of cars on the road as every other vehicle only serves to make you exercise the muscles in your posterior.

This is going to take a lot of logistics, planning, smooth talking, bribery, or some good old fashioned Arschekussing.

With a clear stretch of road and at least 90 minutes of severely reduced traffic (with the possibility of extra time and penalty kicks). There's no better time than to push whatever vehicle you have below you to its limits. Which in turn leads to the question, what do you bring? Obviously you need something that can effortlessly hit triple digits. With this opportunity presenting itself I feel like I would want something with a speedometer in KM/h. Even though as a student of engineering I work in unit conversions on a daily basis, but seeing the needle pass 300 kilometers per hour my brain would be so focused on the blur of scenery ahead of me to try to mentally place numerators and denominators would be a waste of time. This visceral overload of information would make the sensation all the more memorable. Like pulling the leaver to "ludicrous speed" and then going "plaid". But we've merely addressed the fact that the car needs to have a horsepower figure that's at least half that of a Veyron.

What to get though? Press car? Surely zee Germans have a few extremely capable vehicles in their fleet. The RS7, 911 Turbo S, M6, or even the mighty Veyron. I wouldn't be surprised if 4 years from now they were still making special editions. But no the car you really want to push is a hypercar. Something that's already pushing the limits of whats possible far into the future. The current crop, the big 4 would all make some excellent choices. McLaren P1, Ferrari LaFerrari, Porsche 918 Spyder, or the Koenigsegg Agera R. Surely something with active areo, carbon ceramics, and tires so wide they could apply for their own zip code would be ideal for this highway blitzkrieg. This is going to take a lot of logistics, planning, smooth talking, bribery, or some good old fashioned Arschekussing. More realistically it would take a 1 in 175,000,000 chance of hitting the lotto or a career ending bout of grand theft auto. But a boy can dream can't he. Undoubtably its the best and longest opportunity to hit the Autobahn with all fury. What you you take if you had the autobahn to yourself?

daender > KylesPerGallon 07/23/2014 at 15:49

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No question, I want to see what's the S7 TT Comp's true top speed is. It probably won't be as fast as 240 mph but there's gonna be one fast cowboy driving the Autobahn.

catkam623 misses his 944 > KylesPerGallon 07/23/2014 at 15:54

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Why there's only one possible choice for me

I've always wanted to do 260 mph with the top down.

KylesPerGallon > catkam623 misses his 944 07/23/2014 at 16:05

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How many of those were made targas? Was it only Tylers?

catkam623 misses his 944 > KylesPerGallon 07/23/2014 at 16:07

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5 were made. It's the hennessey venom gt spyder which is officially the fastest roadster in the world.

PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power > KylesPerGallon 07/23/2014 at 16:25

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See, I wouldn't take an overly hyper-car. A De-restricted E60 M5 would be fine! 205mph on a straight stretch, with a howling V10 in front, and a rear that's just waiting to come around