Oppo QOTD: What Dick Thing Do You Do While Driving?

"Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis" (Dwhite95)
07/09/2014 at 13:15 • Filed to: None

We all complain about other drivers and the stupid shit they do, but now its confession time. What makes you a douche on the road?

I'll go first. When people pull in front of me to close and dont match the road speed fast enough I continue my speed up real close to them and tail them for a few seconds to advertise my displeasure. Then I back off and continue on like nothing happened.

DISCUSSION (61)

RazoE > Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis
07/09/2014 at 13:16

If I see someone in my mirror isn't using their signals and is weaving in and out of lanes, I match speed with the guy in the left lane and I won't let them pass..

If the guy on the left then turns, I'll switch lanes without signaling to cut them off, then eventually go back.

The Real Dacia Sandero > Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis
07/09/2014 at 13:17

I tailgate like a motherfucker if people aren't going fast enough. Especially if their meandering along in the left lane.

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis
07/09/2014 at 13:18

I do the same thing as you, I just ride their asses a little longer, then blow around them if I'm on the highway.

I also constantly do 5 over.

HammerheadFistpunch > Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis
07/09/2014 at 13:19

i refuse to let people in anywhere anytime they refuse to signal. sorry guy, no signal, no love.

Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis > Logansteno: Bought a VW?
07/09/2014 at 13:21

5 over is practically a requirement in Michigan.

Milky > Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis
07/09/2014 at 13:22

If someone is sitting the left lane, I tailgate them for a bit. If they still don't get over I pass on the right then get back in front just a little too soon.

Most times the person neither cares or notices. Some times though they get pissed & I'm all like ….

Kinja'd!!!

TillTheWheelsFallOff: Brocoma > Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis
07/09/2014 at 13:22

If someone is riding my ass, I double tap the brake. If they don't stop, I slow down to the speed of the car next to me.

Some people in Houston like to drive in the emergency lane to go around rush hour traffic. I refuse to let them in even it means certain death to the other driver. I laid on my horn for a minute straight when a guy tried this on me.

JGrabowMSt > Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis
07/09/2014 at 13:22

When I see people weaving through traffic behind me, I make it impossible for them to pass. If they're just hammering down the fast lane, fine, but swerving through traffic? No mercy. Beyond that, I can be aggressive in the left lane if I have somewhere to be, but not crazy aggressive. I'll flash my highs at people not doing the speed limit, get in front of them where it's safe to, etc. I usually make sure I'm early everywhere, so it's rarely a problem. But I do get really pissy when people don't yield to faster traffic on the highway. Those bastard VW kids going 3 wide on a highway doing 5 under....

A couple years ago I was on the way home from a concert, driving my friends new accord on a highway that went from 3 lanes to two. Some dickhead was weaving through cars behind me, so I got up next to an older guy, and matched his speed dead on. Poor bastard behind me was weaving back and forth like crazy thinking either me or the old guy next to me was going to give him a gap. A couple miles later, he used an on ramp to pass us on the far right. I saw it coming, but oh well.

yamahog > Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis
07/09/2014 at 13:22

I gesticulate obscenely at people who try to kill me on my morning commute. If we come to a stoplight, I'll open my visor and ask if they have any goddamn idea how close they came to being the reason my parents had to bury their daughter.

This may or may not have happened this morning. Some foresight on my part, new brakes, and reflexes saved me from "Cause of Death: Idiot in a Ford Edge just felt like getting into the left hand lane."

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis
07/09/2014 at 13:23

In St. Louis, it's about the same, everyone does at least 5 over. But when I go up to Kirksville, where everyone does 5 under, I get some dirty looks.

deekster_caddy > HammerheadFistpunch
07/09/2014 at 13:23

I do this too! Whenever I see a signal, though, I'll be courteous if they are.

The Real Dacia Sandero > Logansteno: Bought a VW?
07/09/2014 at 13:23

I do 5 over in VA, and I'm on the slower side of people on the road.

mr_gofast > Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis
07/09/2014 at 13:24

im guilty of a heavy foot - each time im at a light, ill always mash it abit harder so im the first one away on a green light, and when i do it i give the driver a dirty look as if to say, you drive to slow. Its a stupid silly thing to do and im trying to stop

deekster_caddy > Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis
07/09/2014 at 13:24

I honk at people who throw cigarette butts out their window. I also honk at people do massive lane changing in 15 mph traffic. I use the horn a lot more than someone reasonably should.

For Sweden > Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis
07/09/2014 at 13:25

I'm horrible about not moving left when a car is merging from an off ramp, and I hate it.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis
07/09/2014 at 13:27

I do basically what RazoE said.

Also, on the open highway, I tailgate and flash left lane hoggers, and if they still don't move, I usually pass them going way too fast. It's an Audi thing.

If I can tell someone's about to run a red light across me (often people coming the other way, turning left) I will take off faster than I need to and lay on the horn.

I have also been known to ignore "No turn on red" signs and "No U-Turn signs" but I think that just makes me normal.

Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis > yamahog
07/09/2014 at 13:28

I'm not sure that counts as being a dick. Sounds more like advertising the consequences of not paying attention.

revrseat70 > Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis
07/09/2014 at 13:34

My biggest pet peeve in all of driving is when I'm doing 5-10 over in the left lane and someone flies up behind me doing +15 over. I'm passing people at a safe speed and see a spot big enough to let them by. So I move over one lane and leave my cruise on or just maintain my speed. Then, suddenly, they stop going 15 over and pass my car's length over the course of two miles and I get stuck almost ramming the car in front of me. That being said, I hate when this happens because the lesser of two evils is allowing someone to undertake me who has been weaving through traffic. So I will maintain their speed until their progress is halted. But I do it super subtly and without a degree of head turn. I can be a monster...

YSI-what can brown do for you > Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis
07/09/2014 at 13:37

Once in a while, I like to heel toe down shift to a stop at red lights. I don't do it often, but when I do it is fun, but I also feel like a douche.

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > sm70- why not Duesenberg?
07/09/2014 at 13:37

God, typical Audi driver.

I kid, I kid.

Chris_K_F drives an FR-Slow > Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis
07/09/2014 at 13:42

Illinois is the same, except it's more like 15-20 over. lol

I was up near Cadillac over the holiday weekend, and that was the worst drive home. lol I've never seen so many traffic jams with absolutely no explanation! No construction (there were some construction zones, but no actual work being done), nobody pulled over, no accident, nothing to rubberneck. It made no sense! Took me nearly an hour and a half to go 20 miles at one point.

Meatcoma > Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis
07/09/2014 at 13:42

I won't let anyone pass me on 2 lane roads.

Because I'm masterbating and ashamed.

Mattbob > Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis
07/09/2014 at 13:42

I pass people on the right with authority to make a point. I always give them a second to get out of the way, but if they linger in the left lane, I just move over and fly by in the right.

Fed(oo=[][]=oo)uken > Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis
07/09/2014 at 13:42

I do the exact same thing! Hey crossover that just cut me off, let me introduce you to the front of my car!

This has happened a couple of times: they pull out and are incompetent and haven't turned the wheel enough to make the full turn due to traffic/whatever. I continue on at speed and stop quick realllly close to them, so the nose of my car is essentially at their driver door. I'll bet they appreciate that. Fuckers.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Logansteno: Bought a VW?
07/09/2014 at 13:43

Sometimes, I can be.

But usually I'm fairly courteous.

Left lane hoggers drive me insane, though.

bob and john > Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis
07/09/2014 at 13:44

on a motorcycle, i lanesplit when i'm at a red light. no, i'm not in cali

Mattbob > yamahog
07/09/2014 at 13:44

I can't even imagine a morning commute on a motorcycle. I imagine the temptation to bring things to throw at people is strong.

langadamd > Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis
07/09/2014 at 13:45

I do exactly the same thing as you. If you are going to pull out in front of me, just go faster! I always feel horrible about pulling out in front of people even if I get on the gas and they are nowhere near me.

Chris_K_F drives an FR-Slow > Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis
07/09/2014 at 13:48

I just get pissed at slow drivers. I don't really tailgate, because I'd rather not risk being brake checked. A lot of middle fingers have been waved at people though.

Driving up to Michigan last Thursday, there was some asshat in a late 90s Explorer tailgating us like crazy (my cousin was driving my FR-S at this point in the journey) through a construction area. We were being slowed by those in front of us, so it wasn't even our fault for going slow. When more than one lane finally opened up, the dude got around and went flying up ahead. We decided to see how good the high beams worked (it was about 10pm), so my cousin got up behind the guy and threw them on. He brake checked super hard, almost slamming to a dead stop, 3 times trying to get us to rear end him. My cousin was far enough back and had enough control that we didn't even come close. The dude finally sped off. About 30min later we caught up with him, and he decided to try swerve into our lane and attempt to run us off the 2 lane highway as we passed him. Douche.

Audi-os, Amigos! > Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis
07/09/2014 at 13:49

If I need to get over, and I signal with plenty of advance notice, and you speed up to not let me in, I am making your life a living hell for the rest of the time we share the road.

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > sm70- why not Duesenberg?
07/09/2014 at 13:49

I got cut off by a brand new S8 coming downtown today. I was too busy staring at the car to care.

Mattbob > HammerheadFistpunch
07/09/2014 at 13:50

Same here.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Logansteno: Bought a VW?
07/09/2014 at 13:52

He was probably signaling, and you were too busy staring at the car to care.

Just kidding, oc

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > sm70- why not Duesenberg?
07/09/2014 at 13:55

Nah, i was chugging along at 70 and he just decided he needed in my lane, without a blinker, right as I was about to go past him, and then proceed to do 60. In an S8.

Brewman15 > Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis
07/09/2014 at 13:58

Back when I lived in Chicago I would stick my car half-way in the lane and half-way into the shoulder in stop and go traffic to block people from just driving on the shoulder. I can't tell you how many people yelled at me for it.

The best was some guy in a Charger proceeded to yell at me that he was in an emergency and needed to hurry. He sped off then stopped and waiting for me to catch up to yell at me some more. I asked him about his supposed 'emergency' and he took off again.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Logansteno: Bought a VW?
07/09/2014 at 13:58

It was probably an old guy. I once got behind a Continental GT Convertible in the left lane, going right below the limit, but despite having a 600+ hp, 200mph car, the octogenarian driving it couldn't care less. He. Would. Not. Speed. Up.

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > sm70- why not Duesenberg?
07/09/2014 at 14:01

There's two types of old drivers; the ones that do 5 under in the left lane, then the ones that are just like "Lul, whatever, close to dead anyway" and drive like they're in a race car.

Luckily, my grandparents are the latter.

Tripper > Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis
07/09/2014 at 14:02

When people can't figure out how to zipper merge (which is always) I aggressively push in front of them and give them a nice one of these in the rear view mirror.

Kinja'd!!!

feather-throttle-not-hair > Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis
07/09/2014 at 14:09

when people tailgate me, i'll downshift rather than using a light application of the brakes to start slowing down for a light or something.

BeaterGT > Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis
07/09/2014 at 14:11

If someone tailgates me and/or drives like a complete idiot and then tries to pass me I will blow their doors off and then drive slower in order to further infuriate them.

feather-throttle-not-hair > sm70- why not Duesenberg?
07/09/2014 at 14:13

There are "keep right except to pass" signs on the highways here, so occasionally, if i know one's coming up, i'll pass left lane hoggers on the right and then once i'm in front of them, i'll stick my hand out the window and point to the sign as we go by it.

feather-throttle-not-hair > revrseat70
07/09/2014 at 14:17

Yes. That situation. HATE IT.

Textured Soy Protein > Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis
07/09/2014 at 14:25

I indulge in the following undesirable driving behaviors:

I tailgate on-ramp slowpokes, then jump the gate to get over to the left lane as quickly as possible, after checking to make sure there's no oncoming cars. Sometimes I honk at them too. Match your speed to oncoming traffic, dick!

I honk my horn at people who take too long to move through intersections. Like waiting to make a left turn when it's all clear, sitting too long at a stop sign or a right-turn-on-red light when it's all clear, etc. There are people behind you who also want to move through this intersection, dick!

If someone tailgates me in the right lane, and the road is clear, I will gradually slow down to way below the speed limit then punch it. The fast lane is on the left, dick!

If someone comes to a red light at an intersection with no right turn lane but right turns allowed on red lights, they're the only car there, but they chill in the right lane thus preventing me from turning right, I pull as far over to the right with my blinker on so it's nice and visible in their mirror. You could've moved over to the left, dick!

Unfortunately since I drive a BMW, instead of people realizing the error of their ways, they just chalk it up to yet another asshole BMW driver being an asshole.

I also occasionally make U-turns at places where there are posted No U-Turn signs. But that's more because here in Madison, WI there are No U-Turn signs in way too many places. I learned to drive in a place that had just as many streets with dividing islands in the middle, and it was understood that because you have dividing islands where people can only turn left in certain spots, people are going to need to make U-turns. But here, noooo, there are all these divided roads and yet almost every intersection has a No U-Turn sign.

and 100 more > feather-throttle-not-hair
07/09/2014 at 14:27

I do this too, though I try not to do it often (read: I do it all the time).

If they're really up my ass, I'll match revs and downshift into 2nd or 3rd, just to really get the rear end to pitch up.

It's a jerk move, i know, but it usually gets the point across. Don't tailgate; I'll get out of your way, just show a little patience!

yamahog > Mattbob
07/09/2014 at 14:32

There are definitely times when I want to use my carbon fiber knuckles for evil.

Agrajag > Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis
07/09/2014 at 14:33

I do the same as you.

Just the other day some punks in v6 mustang were coming off a highway, and just blew through the stop sign. I approached them quickly enough to scare them onto the shoulder.

AM3R > yamahog
07/09/2014 at 14:48

I remember this guy I used hang out with would commute on his bike, and he said he carried small metal pellets in his pocket and would throw them onto the windshields/hoods of cars if they did something REALLY reckless. I think he only ever did it once.

Horrible idea haha.

yamahog > AM3R
07/09/2014 at 14:54

Yes.... horrible.....

Gotta run, have to pick up some BBs!

AM3R > yamahog
07/09/2014 at 14:58

It was mainly a bad idea because he "demonstrated" for us on an empty road. Almost completely turning your body and throwing something doesn't seem like the safest thing to do on a motorcycle going down the highway.

All it did on the hood was scratch the clear coat, but the windshield had a whole bunch of rock chips and would need to be taken care of or replaced lol.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis
07/09/2014 at 15:03

Apparently driving a big, heavy lifted vehicle that weighs about the same as a modern car.

thebigbossyboss > feather-throttle-not-hair
07/09/2014 at 15:31

I did that to a city bus once. I passed him honked and pointed to the lane over to his right the bus lane. He gave me the bird.

thebigbossyboss > JGrabowMSt
07/09/2014 at 15:33

I have been known to box reckless drivers in like that.

thebigbossyboss > Textured Soy Protein
07/09/2014 at 15:35

I am most definitely a proponent of behaviour one even though it can make hard to merge in the end.

thebigbossyboss > Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis
07/09/2014 at 15:39

My thing is this: If you are blocking a moving lane, to merge into a lane that is STOPPED for a traffic light or whatever, and you are blocking me from proceeding in the unobstructed lane then I lay on the horn until you move out of the way or 30 seconds. Then I will give it a break and lay on it again.

They driver ahead of me usually pretends like it's not their fault. Oh isn't it? It is. Now MOVE!

unpredictable_swerve > Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis
07/09/2014 at 17:52

I get very close to people who ride a foot into my lane, while accelerating, then let the turbo flutter when I'm right by their window. Every time they go back in their lane.

Jordaneer, The Mountaineer Man > Mattbob
07/10/2014 at 02:46

I know mow for someone who lives on a hill...

Anyway, on this hill people have a tendency to speed drive up this hill really fast (people doing over 40 is not uncommon), too fast for a residential neighborhood with a lot of kids, where the speed limit is 35 but should be like 25 mph, and so one day, this guys neighbor was really fed up with people driving up the hill too fast, and so one day when he was out working in his lawn and someone was going especially fast, he got up and threw a decent size rock at the guys car, and the driver pulled over and was like "what the hell" and then the neighbor starts yelling at the guy for driving up hill too fast,

Mattbob > Jordaneer, The Mountaineer Man
07/10/2014 at 08:20

does this story continue? What was the outcome?

Übel > BeaterGT
07/10/2014 at 11:36

I've done this far more than I care to admit

Übel > YSI-what can brown do for you
07/10/2014 at 11:37

I do this everywhere. It means I'm in gear in case of emergency, and it saves on clutch wear.

YSI-what can brown do for you > Übel
07/10/2014 at 11:51

I usually let it cruise in neutral. That way I don't have to rev it up(and be loud) to match the revs.

Jordaneer, The Mountaineer Man > Mattbob
07/10/2014 at 14:12

Im sure it continues, but i never heard the outcome, like if the neighbor paid to fix the car or what happened.