One Of My Most Tragic Automotive Moments...

"THEY MADE ME GRAY" (autovox-is-the-one) 07/04/2014 at 04:28 • Filed to: keep oppo funny

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...one Summer years ago, when I was driving a rental Peugeot in France and I stopped at a lone, self service gas station in the country, to refuel. I was not able to open the damned gas filler flap!! ...of course, no owner's manual in the car (... Sir, we we remove it, otherwise it would be stolen! ) and the attendant was just a cute teenager, on her summer job at the bar! So I had to phone to the rental agency while feeling like a moron, pass through all the automated exchange options (...s i vous voulez parler avec le service client, appuyez sur 2 ...), till I succeeded to talk to a garage employee (in French, of course... Monsieur, ici nous sommes en France et parlons français !) and I got this explanation (from the Owner's Manual): Locking and unlocking of the fuel filler flap, the doors and the boot is simultaneous (except when selective unlocking is initialized; in this case press the unlocking button of the remote control again) . Is that clear to you? To me it was clear after 10 minutes of vane attempts, since of course the selective locking was on... and no fucking emergency manual unlock that I could find!! Damned, stupid French cars!

This was one of my most tragic automotive moments. Which was yours?

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > THEY MADE ME GRAY 07/04/2014 at 04:34

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My dad sold my 1996 dodge conversion van with the TV, porno lights, hooker-banging back bench that turned into a bed at the press of a button, and a fridge for a 1997 chevrolet monte carlo. I went from the best car ever for a 16 year old to one of the worst. To put it in other words, I went from "conceive 5 kids before I turn 20" to "40 year old virgin". Thankfully everything balanced out and I lost my virginity in college while not having any kids.

Bricks > THEY MADE ME GRAY 07/04/2014 at 04:38

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I already told this incident, but when I was still learning how to drive, I decided to use my grandmothers civic to go get some lunch. I had never backed out of a garage before, so that should've been a red flag for me. I ended up turning into the metal guide for the garage door and ripping the front bumper cover off. I ended up replacing it, but apparently I dented the left fender and that was causing problems with the tire rubbing against the dent. anyway, I ended up causing about $1800 worth of damage in about 30 seconds. So now I am barred from driving my grandmothers civic ever again

TwinCharged - Is Now UK Opponaut > THEY MADE ME GRAY 07/04/2014 at 04:41

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Two situations for my dad:

Getting stuck at a set of traffic lights because my dad didn't know he had to put his foot on the brake before moving the shifter on a VW DSG gearbox. He's driven stick for most of his life.

and

Getting stuck on a steep ramp in a multi-storey car park, holding up traffic and unable to do a hill start because of poor tyres on the rental(!) car which was a Renault(!), and he'd never used an electronic handbrake before.

Svend > THEY MADE ME GRAY 07/04/2014 at 04:42

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I feel your pain. I was at a fuel station at the automated pumps where I went through the usual process, open the filler cap, remove the nozzle from the holder, insert the nozzle into the filler and then turn and nod to the attendant in the garage to turn on the pump. Here's where I went wrong, I normally use a regular pump so after looking at the attendant thinking she's not seen me I wave and point to the pump, after a couple of minutes a loud voice comes over the loud speaker and says 'can the person at pump 5 press the button on the pump'. Cue laughing from other people and stares of 'what an idiot'. I felt so stupid.

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > THEY MADE ME GRAY 07/04/2014 at 05:01

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So far in my 3 months of driving, running out of gas while driving my dad's truck.

Cé hé sin > Svend 07/04/2014 at 05:21

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Seems an odd way for automatic pumps to work. Anytime I use them it's just a matter of sticking in your card and following instructions. It only ever got complicated when I was in Sweden last year and found a filling station where they didn't match the on screen instructions to the language of your credit card so I had to guess my way through instructions på Svenska.

Svend > Cé hé sin 07/04/2014 at 06:09

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I was used to the old way of drive up to the pump and insert nozzle, nod to the attendant, they turn it on, I fill up, put back the nozzle then go into the shop and pay. Now it's all 'insert debit/credit card here', lift nozzle, fill up, replace nozzle and press the button to get a receipt. I don't like it. I like the attendant interaction where they ask the pump number I tell them (have a brief chat while all this is going on), I add a few chocolate bars to the total, I pay then we say thank you to each other and good bye, then I go on my way. The old days I like, electronic self service, I don't.

Cé hé sin > Svend 07/04/2014 at 07:42

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Don't think I've ever been somewhere where you have to get the pump turned on - it's just put in nozzle and pump away.

What I don't like is the American way of paying in advance even though their fuel is half the price and hardly worth stealing!

BJ > THEY MADE ME GRAY 07/04/2014 at 07:55

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I have a few minor stories:

I grew up on a farm and was allowed to practice driving the pickup around the fields. I decided to try "offroading" across a small gully with a rwd truck, and promptly got one of the bumpers hung up. I walked nonchalantly back to the yard and asked if I could borrow the tractor for a few minutes. My mother saw right through me and I got to suffer through the embarssement of having Mom pull my stuck vehicle out. I was 12 or 13.

Another time, about 23 years old, I was out with friends and we did some donuts in the parking lot before going home. As I completed what was certainly a most amazing burnout, my phone rings and my buddies tell me that my bumper has come off. Nothing says "I've had great success in life" than having the bumper fall off of your BMW while doing donuts in a public parking lot on a Saturday night.

The worst was certainly the time I got stuck in a muddy, log-strewn ditch on a remote logging road with the same BMW because my girlfriend and I were getting frisky and wanted to have a few quiet minutes alone - we were a good 2.5 hours from home, and probably an hour's drive from the nearest town, and just couldn't wait. After an hour of vainly trying to get unstuck, I managed to flag down a friendly gentleman who actually unhooked the trailer from his pickup truck to pull us out. He was travelling in a caravan with 2 or 3 other vehicles, so there were plenty of spectators. The best part? When I got home, I found that a gallon of honey I had in the trunk had tipped over and spilled completely. Thank God the trunk had a drain plug!

Svend > Cé hé sin 07/04/2014 at 07:59

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The old way was I guess safer in that the pumps were off when not being used and stopped people stealing fuel when no one was looking.

The new way of putting the card in the machine and then a display will say up to how much you can spend (never really understood this bit) and then let you pump away, no interaction from another person nothing. I hate it. Along with self service checkouts in supermarkets the world has become so impersonal.

The store I work in has card only fuel pumps (no cash, no attendant), self service checkouts after 11pm (unless you have a big shopping trolley), no cigarettes or tabacco served between 10pm and 7am (which you have to ask for from a list as the cigarettes aren't allowed to be on display), etc...

f86sabre > THEY MADE ME GRAY 07/04/2014 at 08:22

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on a related French note I backed our rental Pugeot Czara (because WRC) into a boulder about half the size of the car down near Nice.

Once in LA I got off the freeway in slightly damp conditions after my wife called for an emergency potty brake. I was carrying a little too much speed and it was slick. ThePontiac Grand Prix under steered straight into the Armco. Is was late enough that no one was behind us. I backed up and continued in.

Neither car was seriously damaged and The rental companies didn't notice the chipped paint.

davedave1111 > Svend 07/04/2014 at 09:00

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That's not so bad. I've seen someone do much the same thing, except they were holding up a long queue, and too stupid to actually press the button even when told repeatedly (and no, they spoke English, so no excuses for a foreign language). At some point someone got fed up and pressed the button for her, at which point she started with 'what did you do? What are you doing? Why are you touching my pump?'

Some people are too stupid to be allowed petrol, in my book.

davedave1111 > THEY MADE ME GRAY 07/04/2014 at 09:21

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I've never really had a lot of experience with automatics, but we were staying with my in-laws and borrowing their car. The wife and I stopped somewhere and got out the car for a minute for some reason. When we got back in, it wouldn't start - electrics turned on, but not even a click from the starter. I got the bonnet up, started looking, couldn't see anything. Was about to call my father-in-law and ask for help, but decided to try it one more time. That was when I realised I'd left it in D...

Vimto > THEY MADE ME GRAY 07/05/2014 at 10:06

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I bought my Grand Marquis (2007 with 74k miles at the time) a few months ago from a used car dealer, they said they'd had it a while. On the 120 mile way home the tires were so dry rotted that one fell to pieces. The car had a spare but no jack so I had to call AAA.