"Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein)
07/03/2014 at 16:23 • Filed to: movielopnik
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"Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein)
07/03/2014 at 16:23 • Filed to: movielopnik | 1
| 6 |
Have you ever wondered what might happen if you cross a low budget 80s buddy cop movie with a zombie movie, and cast Treat Williams and Joe Piscopo as the leads? I certainly haven't. But I randomly stumbled upon this gem on Netflix, and it's so awesomely bad I had to share. I give you !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! .
The blurb on Netflix for Dead Heat is: At a suspect laboratory, two cops uncover a high-tech "resurrection room" that recycles criminals — and makes them virtually indestructible.
How could that not be awesome? I'll tell you what: it is, in fact, awesome. Take every possible buddy cop movie cliche you can think of, including an opening scene where our hero cops save the day while causing mass quantities of property damage and general mayhem, and then are chewed out by their tough-as-nails captain, mix in a little bit of hokey Chinese mysticism that's never actually explained, the aforementioned zombies, and lots of cheesy gory special effects, and you have a lot of awesomeness.
The henchmen look like this.
That's right, ZOMBIES WITH MACHINE GUNS. Who both have the same red sweatshirt on underneath some other shirt.
The head bad guy just so happens to be !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! .
Joe Piscopo finds as many excuses as possible to wear a really small t-shirt. And flex. And make lots of really bad wisecracks like, "you have the right to remain disgusting."
Who stands with their shoulders back like that, anyway?
There's a scene in the back of a divey restaurant in Chinatown where our heroes fight resurrected peking ducks, pigs, and a whole beef carcass with no head.
If you're a Star Trek fan, there are a couple nuggets for you as well. Robert Picardo, better known as Voyager's Doctor, has a bit part as a police lieutenant with a sweet 80s stache.
The location for the headquarters of the evil pharmaceutical company where the zombie henchmen are made, is the !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! in Van Nuys, CA which has been a location on Star Trek a whole bunch of times (and many other things including Knight Rider, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, Bio Dome, and Austin Powers).
This is a movie where things happen, with no setup, so you wonder if you missed something, rewind to double check, and then realize you didn't miss something, the script did.
Characters who you thought were important get killed, and people you would expect to care about those people dying, just keep moving along like absolutely nothing happened.
I could go on, but needless to say, this movie is just plain fantastic(-ly terrible). You should watch it. Buddy cop movie with zombies. Totally worth the hour and a half. You won't regret it. I promise.
mcseanerson
> Textured Soy Protein
07/03/2014 at 16:29 |
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Look for the Michael Bay reboot Summer of 2017.
RiceRocketeer Extraordinaire
> Textured Soy Protein
07/03/2014 at 16:33 |
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Heh, I've actually seen that. And I think the final line was some joke about being reincarnated as a woman's bicycle seat.
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Textured Soy Protein
> RiceRocketeer Extraordinaire
07/03/2014 at 16:43 |
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Not quite the final line, but yep, that's in there towards the end.
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Textured Soy Protein
> mcseanerson
07/03/2014 at 16:45 |
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I think I might actually watch that.
NotUnlessRoundIsFunny
> Textured Soy Protein
07/03/2014 at 16:53 |
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"Joe Piscopo: Will His Star Ever Stop Rising?"
:-)
The Compromiser
> Textured Soy Protein
07/03/2014 at 21:11 |
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I feel bad and old. I remember this movie when it came out and I saw it IIRC when it came out on VHS. It was horrible. And that made it awesome.
My dad and I used to go and rent the worst cheesiest movies we could find to watch together. I saw, they live, evil dead army of darknes and dark angel or something about a guy who stole a nuke armed plane to bomb Las Vegas. My aunt used to get the prerelease copies of movies (up to 3 on a tape sometimes). I saw a lot of shitty 80s movies and a lot of straight to video crap.
I miss the 80s. Shit.