A rather angry Craigslist seller.

"jkm7680" (jkm7680) 06/30/2014 at 20:22 • Filed to: Alrighty then.

6

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"what the fuck cant you understand it says IT IS NOT OK TO CONTACT ME WITH UNSOLICITED SERVICES AND PRODUCTS TO SELL MY FUCKING CAR AND I SAID DO NOT EMAIL ME DUMBASSSSSSSSSS The guy that left a message. Go fuck yourself ass hole. I guess you cant read but anyway, I will look for you if you call again, so dont call ass hole dont be a DICK!!!!!!!!! THIS IS A SELLING PLACE FOR PEOPLE THAT DONT WANT TO DEAL WITH ASS HOLE LIKE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

Who else would like to leave a message?

Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis > jkm7680 06/30/2014 at 20:25

5

Wow...

The escalated quickly.

Vince-The Roadside Mechanic > jkm7680 06/30/2014 at 20:26

1

Hi I fix lawnmowers and was curious do you need my services?

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > jkm7680 06/30/2014 at 20:27

7

It's just a Neon...

Frank Grimes > jkm7680 06/30/2014 at 20:30

6

whats your number? so i can make sure to not call it and leave a message.

Vince-The Roadside Mechanic > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 06/30/2014 at 20:32

2

Dude... 944 is to 911 as neon is to Viper.

NotUnlessRoundIsFunny > Vince-The Roadside Mechanic 06/30/2014 at 20:33

2

Made me LOL.

"Uh yeah, when are you people going to come and fix my sink?"

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Vince-The Roadside Mechanic 06/30/2014 at 20:33

3

No....

Nick, Drives a Cobalt LT > Vince-The Roadside Mechanic 06/30/2014 at 20:34

2

Viper in a diaper.

EL_ULY > jkm7680 06/30/2014 at 20:35

1

time.....to....troll!!!!!! lol >:]

Vince-The Roadside Mechanic > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 06/30/2014 at 20:35

0

Yeah dude you are basically buying a Porsche neon.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Vince-The Roadside Mechanic 06/30/2014 at 20:38

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Nope! YOU were going to buy a Porsche Neon. I'm buying a mutherfucking Porsche Dart! More manly. :P

NotUnlessRoundIsFunny > jkm7680 06/30/2014 at 20:38

3

Remember, we must use Oppo always for good, and never for evil.

I still want to call though...

Drakkon- Most Glorious and Upright Person of Genius > jkm7680 06/30/2014 at 20:39

1

Save this post for the next person that rants about CL phone numbers being spelled out.

Vince-The Roadside Mechanic > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 06/30/2014 at 20:39

0

No because a Dart is faster than it.

jkm7680 > Drakkon- Most Glorious and Upright Person of Genius 06/30/2014 at 20:41

0

Call me at four-dos-quatro-5-seven-two-six-five-2-uno-zero.

Drakkon- Most Glorious and Upright Person of Genius > jkm7680 06/30/2014 at 20:42

2

Eight six seven five three oh ni-ee-yine.

Nick, Drives a Cobalt LT > jkm7680 06/30/2014 at 20:42

1

I am 12 what is this.

jkm7680 > Drakkon- Most Glorious and Upright Person of Genius 06/30/2014 at 20:43

1

If I see that crap in a CL ad, I'll just leisurely pass by it. I'm too damn lazy to decode what the damn number is.

Drakkon- Most Glorious and Upright Person of Genius > EL_ULY 06/30/2014 at 20:43

0

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Vince-The Roadside Mechanic 06/30/2014 at 20:43

0

No it's not.

2.0L Dart does 0-60 in 9.9

2.5L 944 does 0-60 in 8.3

Mind you these are the naturally aspirated models; the 944 Turbo or Turbo S will kick the Dart's puny 1.4L turbo ass. ASS!!

Drakkon- Most Glorious and Upright Person of Genius > jkm7680 06/30/2014 at 20:44

1

Vince-The Roadside Mechanic > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 06/30/2014 at 20:46

0

They actually share a top speed so he Dart does the same with less so if you break it down to MPH per litre the dart is better.

jkm7680 > Drakkon- Most Glorious and Upright Person of Genius 06/30/2014 at 20:47

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Ah, Putting it in the form of an excellent song would really aid my laziness.

Drakkon- Most Glorious and Upright Person of Genius > jkm7680 06/30/2014 at 20:48

1

Hey, broadband and Amazon drones, you'll never leave your EZ chair again.

Bricks > Drakkon- Most Glorious and Upright Person of Genius 06/30/2014 at 20:52

1

I actually wrote a craigslist scraping script that auto decodes the phone numbers. It's actually not that hard for a computer, I don't know why people even do it.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Vince-The Roadside Mechanic 06/30/2014 at 20:53

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Not even close. he dart has a governed speed of 119. the 2.5L NA 944 has a top speed of 131mph.

Vince-The Roadside Mechanic > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 06/30/2014 at 20:54

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Governed without the limiter it be 130.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Vince-The Roadside Mechanic 06/30/2014 at 20:56

0

Well then it doesn't count. This is governed, stock vs. stock. The Dart simply isn't fast enough. Nor would it be able to hand a 944 on a track.

Vince-The Roadside Mechanic > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 06/30/2014 at 20:58

0

If we talk stock in an endurance race the 944's weakness is reliability thus giving the dart the successful win.

jkm7680 > Nick, Drives a Cobalt LT 06/30/2014 at 21:01

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A very angry fellow. Lol.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Vince-The Roadside Mechanic 06/30/2014 at 21:02

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A car is only reliable as it's owner's competence to maintain it. Give both cars to an owner who is serious about maintenance and they'll both be running perfect. Give both to a shitty owner and they'll both fall apart.

Nick, Drives a Cobalt LT > jkm7680 06/30/2014 at 21:02

2

Should I call and see if he needs therapy or anger management?

jkm7680 > Nick, Drives a Cobalt LT 06/30/2014 at 21:02

0

He'll need both. Go for it!

Vince-The Roadside Mechanic > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 06/30/2014 at 21:03

0

That is bologna.

Nick, Drives a Cobalt LT > jkm7680 06/30/2014 at 21:05

1

I'll wait til its a bit later.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Vince-The Roadside Mechanic 06/30/2014 at 21:09

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Okay then, give a Dart and a 944 to both James May and a person who drives their cars into the ground. Who's gonna have the best car(s) in the end. 944's are plenty reliable so long as you maintain a consistent and constant maintenance schedule.

Vince-The Roadside Mechanic > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 06/30/2014 at 21:11

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Lets say we give both to Tanner Foust. The 944 is older and if beat on with the wrath of Foust will break faster than the Dart driven by Tanner.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Vince-The Roadside Mechanic 06/30/2014 at 21:24

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What if he restores it? What if he takes the time to take a look at the car before he thrashes it the only way he can.

What if you give both to Jay Leno? He'll treasure them, restore the 944 and maintain both.

Wait, I think these scenarios are getting us nowhere. Why not let Oppo decide for us as this appears that we are evenly matched here.

Drakkon- Most Glorious and Upright Person of Genius > Bricks 06/30/2014 at 21:42

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It makes them feel better. A misspelling and you are likely golden. Besides, spammers don't want to work as hard as actual programmers.

Vince-The Roadside Mechanic > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 06/30/2014 at 21:49

1

I think we have a idea for Jalop Gear. 944 VS Dart Enduro.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Vince-The Roadside Mechanic 06/30/2014 at 21:54

1

My best friend has a Dart with the 2.4L Tigershark and the auto trans. I think we could try to do something once the 944 is in my driveway.

Vince-The Roadside Mechanic > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 06/30/2014 at 21:55

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Heh Heh prepare to cry when your Fo-Porsche breaks.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Vince-The Roadside Mechanic 06/30/2014 at 22:19

1

Well his passenger door handle fell off last week so I think I'm already ahead.

Evan, Pope Of Jalopnik by Self-Appointment > Bricks 07/01/2014 at 01:38

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Mostly because they're idiots. Just look at how they "write"

Imirrelephant > jkm7680 07/01/2014 at 11:56

1

Slightly off topic, but I found a funny CL ad and need authorship. If you could pass my request on to the mods I would be ever so grateful. Kthxbai!

$kaycog > Imirrelephant 07/01/2014 at 16:19

1

I just approved you for authorship to Oppo. Welcome!