What would high-school-age you think about your current car?

Kinja'd!!! "fhrblig" (fhrblig)
05/30/2014 at 19:26 • Filed to: None

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I was thinking about this a little while ago, and I think I know exactly what high-school me (circa 1992) would say:

"Holy shit, Fiat came back to the US market? Wait, they own Chrysler now? That's so WEIRD! Neat car, though."

Then, following that...

"Ha, this must mean you're out of the closet then!"

MOTHERFUCKER. I'd have to kick him in the balls.


DISCUSSION (64)


Kinja'd!!! BaconSandwich is tasty. > fhrblig
05/30/2014 at 19:30

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Nice ride.

Mine would probably not think much about it at all. I wasn't a car person back then. I do remember when I bought my first car - 6 years old at the time. It'd never occurred to me that I'd own such a new car. My parents cars were almost always at least 15+ years old, or at least that's what it seems like.


Kinja'd!!! KirkyV > fhrblig
05/30/2014 at 19:31

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As high school me is - for the next couple of weeks, at least - still me, he'd probably think it's a laugh to drive, but wish it had some more grunt, and a Bluetooth stereo.


Kinja'd!!! Opposite Locksmith > fhrblig
05/30/2014 at 19:31

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he'd probably be pretty excited honestly! I have a 365 hp wrx, that I bought stock halfway through my highschool senior year


Kinja'd!!! AndersSim - V10'ING > fhrblig
05/30/2014 at 19:31

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Could we add our own "What would high-school-age you, think about your current car(s)? Sounds like a pretty fun game!


Kinja'd!!! Scary__goongala! > fhrblig
05/30/2014 at 19:35

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Well HS was only 2 years ago. So I'd be very glad to be driving my 31 yr old Mercedes as opposed to my family's beater chevy malibu at that time.


Kinja'd!!! Decay buys too many beaters > fhrblig
05/30/2014 at 19:35

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Highschool me

"Wait you actually bought a SCION?!?"

"Your sportsbike makes you look like a tool"

"Wait, you own a SCOOTER? (low maturity comment about sexuality)"

"The Jetta is acceptable."


Kinja'd!!! xxxxxx > BaconSandwich is tasty.
05/30/2014 at 19:35

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Damn, you must have been one loaded 6 year old.


Kinja'd!!! Garrett Davis > fhrblig
05/30/2014 at 19:37

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"Holy shit! Focus' look like that in the future?! And they're fast ? Fuck yeah!"

"...but the Jeep's out back, right? I wanna see it! Sheila's gotta be an absolute beast by now... wait what? YOU DID WHAT TO SHEILA?!?!?!?!"

And then he would have punched me in the face really, really hard. Then I'd go buy him some beer.


Kinja'd!!! DasWauto > fhrblig
05/30/2014 at 19:38

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High-school me bought a Mk. II Jetta coupe as a project. Later me bought an e30 325i as my current project. They are similarly boxy designs and were/are pretty much the same colour.

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High-school me would be pleased by the Bimmer but sad that I ended up donating the Jetta to the fire department after the blowing up the gearbox and lacking the time to fix it through university.


Kinja'd!!! Garrett Davis > AndersSim - V10'ING
05/30/2014 at 19:40

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Of course!


Kinja'd!!! CRider > xxxxxx
05/30/2014 at 19:43

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You gotta start somewhere.


Kinja'd!!! RiceRocketeer Extraordinaire > fhrblig
05/30/2014 at 19:44

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High school me: you better be getting laid. A lot.


Kinja'd!!! Conan > fhrblig
05/30/2014 at 19:45

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Mine would like it but wonder why it didn't have a Hemi.

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Kinja'd!!! fhrblig > AndersSim - V10'ING
05/30/2014 at 19:46

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Sure!


Kinja'd!!! AndersSim - V10'ING > fhrblig
05/30/2014 at 19:46

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It's done! Great idea


Kinja'd!!! fhrblig > Decay buys too many beaters
05/30/2014 at 19:47

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LOL, you bought a Scion. *runs away*


Kinja'd!!! f86sabre > fhrblig
05/30/2014 at 19:50

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I'd be pretty thrilled, especially after getting on it.


Kinja'd!!! PatBateman > DasWauto
05/30/2014 at 19:53

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Did the FD tear it up with the Hearst tools (jaws of life), or light it up?


Kinja'd!!! PatBateman > fhrblig
05/30/2014 at 19:54

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GREAT topic.

High school me would be tickled pink that I have a 4x4 F150.

"FINALLY!! A V8 AND four wheel drive!! Wait, where are the BFG All-Terrains?"

"They're too expensive for the R20s."

"Pussy"


Kinja'd!!! The Compromiser > fhrblig
05/30/2014 at 19:55

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Chargers don't have four doors tool...

Alternately: wow are you a gazillionaire???

Or : V6? In that thing? Are you still driving your mom's car?


Kinja'd!!! T5Killer > fhrblig
05/30/2014 at 19:56

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I still drive my high-school ride 16 years later.

"WOW you still have the Cobra? WAIT WHY ISN"T IT SUPERCHARGED YET, Stock motor, no 351 swap YOU ARE SLACKING and getting old make you SOFT!!!"

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Kinja'd!!! AndersSim - V10'ING > fhrblig
05/30/2014 at 19:56

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"Why the hell did you spend that amount of money on cars, and why the hell do you own an Audi, have you gone completely mad? They make a 5-door A5 now, LOL!? Oh, you do own a Merc too?"

Strongly followed by -

"I'm not even mad, that's amazing"

And then

"You did it man, you drive something cool as a DD. Even though you probably should have saved up for a G-class instead, you gibbon, you know how much I love that car"


Kinja'd!!! yamahog > fhrblig
05/30/2014 at 20:01

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High school me would be STOKED and also pleasantly surprised at my overall quality of life.

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Kinja'd!!! STREPITUS > fhrblig
05/30/2014 at 20:07

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So funny enough I remember being in high school when the S197 Mustang came out and thinking how it looked so dated and primitive. Now I'm not even talking about the solid rear axle. The lighting elements looked terrible and cheap, namely those stupid round headlight reflectors in the square housings. This was a time just after BMW introduced the angle eyes and the Germans was starting playing around with LEDs, so I thought the flagship Ford sports car at least deserved a nice pair of projectors (which have been on BMWs for ages). That and all the design elements, inside and out, just seemed really cheap. Fast forward 9 years, and what am I driving? Yep, an S197 Mustang. Granted mine is a heavily facelifted 2013 model - you can hardly believe its the same basic car when parked next to an early 2005-09 Mustang. Tell high school me that future me would be driving one and not something European, and you would have got mocked and been called an idiot.

And my Miata

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Kinja'd!!! DasWauto > PatBateman
05/30/2014 at 20:12

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I was away at school when they had their fun but I do know they cut the roof off of it. Whether it was lit on fire prior to or after that I'm not sure.

And the e30, for posterity:

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Kinja'd!!! PatBateman > DasWauto
05/30/2014 at 20:23

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As a former firefighter, I can tell you two things:

1. It most likely was not lit on fire, and

B. The training received by cutting off the doors and roof of your old car is was very valuable to the firefighters and probably helped them immensely when they ran across a true pin in collision.


Kinja'd!!! DasWauto > PatBateman
05/30/2014 at 20:27

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I'm happy they got some good experience out of it. Sometimes I'd still like to have it but it wasn't practical and it went to a good cause so I'm content.


Kinja'd!!! KirkyV > fhrblig
05/30/2014 at 20:35

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Your car looks a bit like a newer, nicer version of a car I'm thinking of getting:

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Kinja'd!!! themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > fhrblig
05/30/2014 at 20:51

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High school me would be like "I sold the pimp van for THAT?!?!?!?!?" and then I flog the shit out of my fiesta ST. Then high school me would be all like "I sold the pimp van for THAT!!!!!!!!!! :D"

Actually let's ignore that I sold my conversion van before college and owned a 1997 chevrolet monte carlo for 4 years. I do miss my old pimp van. And my riviera. The monte carlo can still die in a fire.


Kinja'd!!! fhrblig > KirkyV
05/30/2014 at 21:02

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I like the Ka, too bad we never got it here. It seems weird that the new Ka is based on the Fiat 500.


Kinja'd!!! KirkyV > fhrblig
05/30/2014 at 21:11

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It is odd—particularly as, to my eye at least, the older Ka actually looks a fair bit more 500-y.


Kinja'd!!! Nobi > fhrblig
05/30/2014 at 21:12

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"Why did you put GTO badges on a Grand Prix?"


Kinja'd!!! JawKnee > fhrblig
05/30/2014 at 21:20

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HS: Bro only 4 cylinders?!

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Now: Do you even turbo?!

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Kinja'd!!! Big Bubba Ray > fhrblig
05/30/2014 at 21:21

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My highschool self would probably say something along the lines of "You goddamn idiot why did you buy a fucking Subaru wagon??"

And then I'd hit him in the face and tell him to fuck off cause wagons are the best things in the world.


Kinja'd!!! BaconSandwich is tasty. > xxxxxx
05/30/2014 at 21:35

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My car was six years old. Not me.


Kinja'd!!! Matthew > Big Bubba Ray
05/30/2014 at 21:37

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Why do people like station wagons so much? Well, I guess you can't speak for everyone, but why do you like them so much? I get that the space is practical for a college kid who's in a band or something but there are a lot of other more spacious types of vehicles, why wagons specifically?

I mean they're just ugly AF, they look like a termite queen, hauling their disproportionately large ass around town.


Kinja'd!!! Big Bubba Ray > Matthew
05/30/2014 at 21:48

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Ohhhh no, you don't say those types of things 'round these parts! Just kidding, everybody is entitled to their own opinion.

I like wagons because of the utility and practicality. You could either drive a minivan, midsize SUV, or a "crossover" if you needed more space, but none of those options would offer the same mpg's, styling or driving dynamics of a wagon.

My Subaru easily holds as much stuff on the inside as my mom's Grand Cherokee, but I get far better gas mileage and it's a lot more fun to drive. Why would somebody choose to drive something huge if they don't have to?

I'm not articulating my opinion very well right now considering that I'm very drunk, so hopefully some other Oppos can help me out.


Kinja'd!!! chuck07 > STREPITUS
05/30/2014 at 22:18

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2007 v6 - I always thought that the body looked cool. I never thought I'd be the loser who bought the v6. "Why even buy one if you don't get the v8" was my thinking.


Kinja'd!!! Matthew > fhrblig
05/30/2014 at 22:34

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I'd make fun of me for having such a girly color but secretly be jealous.


Kinja'd!!! Burrito de EJ25 > fhrblig
05/30/2014 at 22:50

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High school me would be pretty fucking stoked to know that I've got a WRX.


Kinja'd!!! fhrblig > Burrito de EJ25
05/30/2014 at 23:04

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Back when I was in high school, this is the closest Subaru had to a WRX.

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Sure, we like it now, but back then this was not terribly exciting to anyone I knew. They were all preoccupied with the DSM triplets and Mustangs and Camaros and maybe a GTI here and there.


Kinja'd!!! Jayhawk Jake > fhrblig
05/30/2014 at 23:13

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"You drive a what? Oh, okay...WAIT HOLY SHIT THOSE PLANES ARE AWESOME!!!"

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Kinja'd!!! wiffleballtony > fhrblig
05/30/2014 at 23:38

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High school me would have been upset that I didnt purchase something Italian like a used Maserati. High School me would have been outraged that I spent actual money on an American muscle car. High School me also has no understanding of maintenance costs and reliability.


Kinja'd!!! Luc - The Acadian Oppo > fhrblig
05/30/2014 at 23:56

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Kinja'd!!! MrCrash > fhrblig
05/31/2014 at 00:00

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Considering my current vehicle is essentially a larger version of my first truck I had in high school that matches almost everything I wanted to do to my first one, I'm guessing high school me would love it. Then he might ask what I paid, and kick current me in the balls. Neither of me is capable of good decision making.


Kinja'd!!! Captain_Spadaro > fhrblig
05/31/2014 at 01:52

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He'd think "Why am I driving this? Where's my Mustang? Why haven't I gotten laid yet? Is there a funnier anime than Excel Saga?"


Kinja'd!!! Quixotic > fhrblig
05/31/2014 at 01:53

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High school me bought a '54 Studebaker Landcruiser, and would be appalled at my current beater '97 328i vert. "You're a BMW driver now?" My reply: "I hate myself, but, Convertible! and back seats for all the chilluns!" Let's scare the sanctimonious little SOB.


Kinja'd!!! Phyrxes once again has a wagon! > fhrblig
05/31/2014 at 19:34

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HS Me: Diesel Manual Wagon (Not Brown)....I don't get it....
Then again I drove an 82' Olds Cutlass Ciera in HS so HS Me doesn't haven't any room to talk.


Kinja'd!!! Steve McQueen's Perm > fhrblig
06/01/2014 at 08:34

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High school me had an E30 in the mid nineties. Current me still has that same car 18 years later with a roll cage and built up for club racing. High school me wanted a big jacked up pickup truck. Current me drives a big jacked up pickup truck. HS me wanted a bike, current me has a bike. HS me wanted to buy & restore an old 2002, Current Me has a rolling resto 2002. HS me would probably also like my 2 seat roadster DD.

Being in your mid 30's and going on 15 is fun.


Kinja'd!!! Axial > fhrblig
06/01/2014 at 18:51

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Assuming they can't read the giant "CORVETTE" logo on the back (and a lot of people still don't read it anyway), they'd ask if it's a Ferrari (yes, it happened). When I tell them it's a Corvette, they'll say "oh snap, is this the new one?" (also happened). When I tell them it's a '96, they'll say it looks better than the [C6].

All that out of the way, they'll then tell me that they could never really get into American cars and tell me that they always preferred Mercedes or Audi (also also happened).


Kinja'd!!! blairl > DasWauto
06/01/2014 at 23:46

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Wait the coupe was killed? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


Kinja'd!!! jdrgoat - Ponticrack? > Nobi
06/02/2014 at 00:26

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"Why did you get the one with the small engine?"


Kinja'd!!! ciscokidinsf > fhrblig
06/02/2014 at 04:30

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HS me would've been totally stoked with a MKIII Cavalier coupe (don't ask) or a MKIV GTI (again, don't ask) but I think the 2002 330Ci with navigation would've been a disappointment because I expected cars to fly by now.


Kinja'd!!! Nobi > jdrgoat - Ponticrack?
06/02/2014 at 18:31

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"because it was a steal with 52k on it for $11,500."

"$11,500? Mom bought a brand new Ford Expedition in 1997 for $13k you moron! "

"Shut it, kid, enjoy your $500 truck."


Kinja'd!!! JGrabowMSt > fhrblig
06/03/2014 at 00:45

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"It's got a HEMI!"


Kinja'd!!! Stef Schrader > fhrblig
07/28/2014 at 00:43

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"Haha, BECAUSE RICECAR. It's kind of cool, I guess."

"Also, you bought the ugly Porsche.

...

.......still want."


Kinja'd!!! thebigbossyboss > fhrblig
07/30/2014 at 14:38

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"...Why is your car so high? WTF happened to it?"

Upon Opening the doors:

"It's cool you drive a stick now though, I wish I knew how to drive a stick"


Kinja'd!!! thebigbossyboss > Axial
07/30/2014 at 14:41

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I'm the opposite. I can't get into German cars at all. I mean sure danfo's are coll and stuff and the beetle is a classic iconic car, but I'd never actually WANT a german car.


Kinja'd!!! thebigbossyboss > ciscokidinsf
07/30/2014 at 14:42

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Mark 3 Cavalier coupe?

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Kinja'd!!! ciscokidinsf > thebigbossyboss
07/30/2014 at 16:59

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Hmm. I think i messed up. I meant Cavalier Coupe Mark II Z24


Kinja'd!!! thebigbossyboss > ciscokidinsf
07/30/2014 at 21:47

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Hey no shame I own a mark 3 Cavalier myself. Mark 2 coupes are the best looking of all cavaliers.


Kinja'd!!! Axial > thebigbossyboss
07/31/2014 at 15:55

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I want a Golf R400, but only because it's nuts and has highlighter yellow accents. Otherwise, I always feel like the German cars are too sterile. Even though I know the Cayman is better, I'll take the Alfa Romeo 4C over it.

Or I'll just keep modding a C4 Corvette, because who doesn't like the underdog?


Kinja'd!!! Eric in the PNW > fhrblig
08/01/2014 at 03:28

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He'd commit suicide to avoid his fate.

Actually, he might think it's decent, considering it is the spiritual successor to the car he dreamed of when he was prepubescent. By his teens he lusted after B5 Audi S4s, BMW M5s, Mercedes SLK230s, Porsche Boxsters, and Lamborghinis. If the 15-16 year old him knew what he had for a car from 17-26, he'd be pretty buzzed.

My next car, on the other hand, would have him questioning the future him's sanity and how he could live with himself driving something like that. Times have really changed and the car landscape is nothing like it once was.


Kinja'd!!! Eric in the PNW > BaconSandwich is tasty.
08/01/2014 at 03:39

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The me from my early-mid teens up until I bought my first car would have been just as surprised that his first car was only 5 years old. Every car my parents owned until 2 months before I bought my car were at least 11 years older than I was. The only car they acquired between my birth and that later car was 18 years old at the time they got it. I passionately hated maintaining those unreliable old cars, so I swore I'd never endure that myself, but I still didn't know how new or nice my first car would be. Of course, all my best-laid plans fell apart after college (bad market), so I didn't end up with the cars I really wanted to move up to.