Mini-review: 2005 VW Passat Wagon TDI

Kinja'd!!! "Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To" (murdersofa)
05/26/2014 at 22:57 • Filed to: None

Kinja'd!!!0 Kinja'd!!! 6
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This is an extremely sarcastic review of this car because my dad has one, I've driven it a lot, and I've grown increasingly annoyed with it as time goes on.

Let's begin.

Looks (8/10)

It's no boxy Volvo or aggressive Dodge Magnum, but the Passat isn't an awful-looking wagon. The front has a bit of 1st-gen Audi TT, the wheels are relatively sporty, though I find the chrome trim to be tacky and unneeded.

Speed (4/10)

The turbodiesel engine in the Passat provides movement. You push the right pedal and it'll make noise and the car will move, but it won't do so with much gusto and the transmission is obnoxiously lethargic, requiring frequent use of the manumatic mode to make passing maneuvers any more than a pipe dream.

Handling (7/10)

The Reichwagen does shine in the corners. What little speed the wheezy 4banger is able to get you up to is easy to maintain through the twisties and the car corners extremely flat. Lots of fun.

Unfortunately, the steering is annoyingly heavy and made my arms sore after 2 hours of a 6 hour road trip. It was also completely numb.

Audio (3/10)

The engine sounds like a Mack truck on helium, but there is absolutely no turbo to be heard. The in-car stereo system consists of a woofer in and tweeter in each door, and audio sounds boomy and echoy like a cheap pair of off-brand headphones. The head unit has a splash screen, which pisses me off to no end.

Comfort (2/10)

Hard sporty suspension and harder chairs means my arse was begging for mercy. The heated seats mean I can at least drown out my aching joints with 3rd-degree burns, but that is little consolation for the back pain I ended up with anyways.

Cargo Space (8/10)

You can fit lots of stuff in.

Total (32/60)

The Passat is transportation and haulage. Bleh.


DISCUSSION (6)


Kinja'd!!! Opposite Locksmith > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
05/26/2014 at 23:07

Kinja'd!!!0

you called it a chair and a seat in the same sentence... Wait is there a difference?


Kinja'd!!! PS9 > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
05/27/2014 at 00:13

Kinja'd!!!0

But dat MPG doe...


Kinja'd!!! Jordaneer, The Mountaineer Man > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
05/27/2014 at 00:21

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it may not be a terribly car, but it does have two elements of the jalop car, its a diesel and a wagon, its not brown and you didn't say it was a manual (PLEASE SAY IT IS), and knowing Americans, this means it was an automatic.


Kinja'd!!! Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > Jordaneer, The Mountaineer Man
05/27/2014 at 10:19

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"requiring frequent use of the manumatic" so it is unfortunately an autobox.


Kinja'd!!! Jordaneer, The Mountaineer Man > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
05/27/2014 at 11:09

Kinja'd!!!0

me sad :(


Kinja'd!!! Mike_Smith > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
05/27/2014 at 18:15

Kinja'd!!!0

Hm. I always found the seats in my GLX sedan (which I imagine are pretty much the same) to be quite comfortable, even (especially?) on long trips. And I certainly would not have called the suspension "hard" by any means. Maybe VWs aren't for you. ;-)