JP Morgan 'Invests' $100M in Detroit

"BrtStlnd" (BrtStlnd) 05/22/2014 at 10:48 • Filed to: Penance

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We've all been there, you're waiting at a stoplight and there's a person holding a cardboard sign asking for help. Sometimes you've got a couple bucks in your pocket so you roll down your window, smile and hand them a fiver before pulling away in your chauffeured S-Class. We should all be so lucky to have the world's most fined organization come to our neighborhood and do the same.

Perennial supporter of the umbrella-holders union and financial philanthropist, Jamie Dimon and his benevolent monetary monstrosity, JP Morgan decided to invest $100,000,000 in the city of Detroit. Here's exactly where the money is going:

- $50M for Community Development: JP Morgan will create two lines to finance "vital" projects that may otherwise lack funding. $40M will go to flexible, long-term debt financing and $10M in grants going to Invest Detroit and Capital Impact Partners.

- $25M for fighting blight: This seems to be mainly focused on the almost 80,000 abandoned buildings in Detroit with emphasis on providing loans with flexible terms to homeowners wanting to improve their properties.

- $12.5M in workforce training and education: Mostly technical training in healthcare and IT to the unemployed.

- $7M for small business investment: The bank admitted that it may be difficult for small businesses to get traditional funding in Detroit. This will be earmarked for helping entrepreneurs get their fledgling businesses off the ground.

- $5.5M for seeding future economic growth: This includes an investment in a 3 mile street car called the M1, part of Detroit's plan for urban renewal. Additionally, they'll be investing in Global Cities Initiative, helping them to create a forum next year to encourage further investment in Detroit.

BrtStlnd > BrtStlnd 05/22/2014 at 10:49

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I have no idea why those bullet points are in bold, so don't ask.

The Daily Hoon > BrtStlnd 05/22/2014 at 10:50

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"Seeding economic growth"

Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis > BrtStlnd 05/22/2014 at 10:57

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And the rest of the worlds reaction to this. Looking at you Matt Lauer

OMG LOL WHY DEY DO DAT? DETROITS A SHIT HOLE! LOL! Says the person who has only ever seen pictures of the Packard plant and the Train station.

But yeah, if JP Morgan sees legit profit thats a really great thing. Its mostly been local people pouring the money in, outside interest is a huge deal.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > BrtStlnd 05/22/2014 at 10:58

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I'm assuming that via "invest" being in quotes, you expect that despite calling it that, it's purely a writeoff that they have no expectation of return on or mechanism to do so. Which, Detroit, so that's axiomatic.

Still 100 million here, 100 million there, pretty soon you're talking about real money.

BrtStlnd > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 05/22/2014 at 11:00

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The quotes are there because I think this is really just a public relations move and has nothing to do with JP Morgan's interest in seeing Detroit thrive.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > BrtStlnd 05/22/2014 at 11:05

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Agreed that it's a PR move, but "just" a PR move might not be the whole story. "Community Development" + "Global Cities Initiative" smell like at least a few pockets are being lined for improved favor.

Which, if they're buying a bureaucracy for that, is a bargain.

BrtStlnd > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 05/22/2014 at 11:09

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Also, $100M is a miniscule amount for a monster like JPM.