Another Fiat post. Sosumi.

"DancesWithRotors - Driving Insightfully" (danceswithrotors) 05/22/2014 at 03:16 • Filed to: Fiat.

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This post contains a lot of melodrama and personification of an Italian sports car or two, brought to you by Big Flats 1901 Lager. ($0.50/can at your local Walgreens) It is also full of more whine than a teenager whose girlfriend just ran over his prized IS300 with a monster truck, while sleeping with his best friend. You have been warned.

For the diatribe below, I'm including a picture as penance. It's not a Fiat.

This weekend has to show some progress on the Spider. It's getting hard to think about her, sitting alone, unloved... The ugly duckling in my friend Bob's back yard, all brown and forlorn, sad because she's not the prettiest girl in the room anymore, because the Alfas steal the show. She's like the sultry brunette who, normally, would have the world bowing at her feet, but when surrounded by the stunning redheads that the Alfas are, she's just not quite on the same level.

I can't bear to think of my girl sitting there, longing to scream down country lanes again. I've got to fix her, make her stronger, better, faster. Give her longer legs, so she can run with the best of them. Modify her exhaust, so her wails will echo throughout Middle Tennessee, and possibly Gitmo, too.

I'm in my bedroom, now. Her new top is wrapped up in its box; a Christmas present just waiting for her to open it and put it on. Her new upper and lower control arms lie beside it, the gleaming, powdercoated metal easily able to pass for jewelry, to the uninitiated. Shock absorbers sit atop the box, waiting to go in-place.

I'm sick. The driveshaft and rear end are waiting in the back of the Mazda, waiting to be cleaned up and put in-place.

I don't know what I'm doing, anymore. I have to get her running. I can't bear the thought of her missing another summer, when she could be singing her song to the heavens, side-exit exhaust (to be completed) filling the air with glee.

On the other hand, though... I'm going to look at getting her a sister, this weekend. I found an X1/9, one town over from where I have her stored, that I may be able to get for a song. It's a sickness.

Squid > DancesWithRotors - Driving Insightfully 05/22/2014 at 03:27

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Oh Big Flats. . . My old neighbor drinks that stuff like its going out of style. If you happen to have Trader Joes by you they got a few different $3 six packs, but they all really taste the same.

Good luck getting your roadster up and running this weekend.

DancesWithRotors - Driving Insightfully > Squid 05/22/2014 at 03:32

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I avoid Trader Joe's because it's in the "I give zero fucks" part of Nashville, where new Lexus hybrid SUVs are seen as disposable by women who have spent more money on cosmetic surgery than I make in a decade, while patting themselves on the back about how "green" they are.

I don't belong there.

Squid > DancesWithRotors - Driving Insightfully 05/22/2014 at 05:07

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Ha ha, but they got cheap beer. . . I guess I became desensitized to those people by growing up in southern California. I now find it fun to find the gnarliest looking lady with the most plastic surgery and laugh. Some ladies make themselves look like monsters after they get done with all of the plastic surgery. I used to enjoy having drinks with my friends in the fancy bars when I was a grease covered technician with dread locks. It can be fun to be the one that fucks up a rather elegant bar or restaurant.

Makoyouidiot > DancesWithRotors - Driving Insightfully 05/22/2014 at 07:21

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Get out there and wrenchhhhhhhh! Also, I must say that I prefer your 3's color to ours...

Gray is so...bleh.