"njp1589" (njp1589)
05/14/2014 at 09:35 • Filed to: FML
3
16|
"njp1589" (njp1589)
05/14/2014 at 09:35 • Filed to: FML | 3
| 16 |
So work has really been kicking my ass lately and it really came to a head last night. I'm not exactly proud of it, but I had a good cry for about a half an hour last night when I got home because I really don't know what to do anymore.
Let me start by saying that I like my job, but there are times when things are so busy, the workload is so heavy, and the expectations seem so high that it does not seem like there's a light at the end of the tunnel. This gets compounded by the fact that I don't know how to tell people "No, I can't help you right now," and before I know it I can feel my blood pressure go mental and jumping out the window starts to look really friendly. Then it just keeps piling on as people realize "Oh, njp1589 is helping, he must have time to help me too!" God forbid I actually tell anyone I'm overloaded, because then my boss spouts the guilt trip speech about how everyone here is busy, and he can't give this to someone else and by the way could you do this too?
And then I sit back and start to think about why I'm actually doing this, and how I have no plans and no idea where I want to be in 2 or 3 years. I realize that I don't have anyone or anything that I'm doing this for, because I sure as hell don't feel like I'm worth it. So I have a drink and play some mindless games until I'm tired, go to bed, and do the same thing over and over again.
Sorry to sound whiny, but I'm just exhausted and I've got a couple 12-13 hour days coming up culminating in a fucking interrogation over a project budget that I'm scraping together. Oh, and I have a fucking clubhouse due in a week that I haven't even looked at. Fuck me.
Have a 993 for listening.
Nibby
> njp1589
05/14/2014 at 09:40 |
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I hope things get better for you... maybe be more assertive? This gorilla cuddling an ostrich with an orbiting black hole might alleviate things.
Sn210
> njp1589
05/14/2014 at 09:42 |
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This sounds familiar!
Not sure if I can give you any good advice, but sometimes you have to say no or make people wait. You're exactly right, if you keep taking on more, they'll keep giving you more.
MooseKnuckles
> njp1589
05/14/2014 at 09:42 |
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Are you helping people or just doing their work for them? If you're crazy busy and people still ask for more, it's pretty selfish of them to not notice your work load. Have you put your self in a position that people are now taking advantage of you?
Start saying "no", you aren't going to hurt anyone's feelings or make things awkward.
RacecaR
> njp1589
05/14/2014 at 09:43 |
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Here, Dawson will cry along with you.
(hoping to get a laugh, not meant to belittle)
I think a lot of us go through that, at least I do. Except for cry (which I should do instead of what I do end up doing) I bottle it up, then yell at my kids or wife for no real reason. Then I feel bad right after and apologize and try to make it up to them.
But you do need to learn to say no. I went through the same thing years ago. I just kept taking on more and more responsibilities. Then one day it hit me. I could not do it any longer. I started telling my boss no, and other people no. Or at least tell them I MAY be able to do it, but it may be a day or so before I get to it.
Keep your head up, and you'll get through it.
Yowen - not necessarily not spaghetti and meatballs
> njp1589
05/14/2014 at 09:45 |
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I hope you are getting paid well for those 12-13 hour days!
When I get overwhelmed at work I find it helps to focus on only one of the many things I have to do and stay focused on it till i am done with it and then tackle the next thing on my list. Sometimes, before I know it, I am back on track an feeling a little more relaxed.
But then again I've never had it so bad that i needed 12-13 hr days to finish my work. But I can only imagine it sucks balls. Because I've worked several 10 hour days and they weren't fun, hah.
Is there light at the end of the tunnel? Will you be able to move up in this company after some years of hard work?
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Yowen - not necessarily not spaghetti and meatballs
> njp1589
05/14/2014 at 09:47 |
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And another thought, it does seem people realize you are good at your job as they all seem to be coming to you to get things done. And like I sort of said in my other response, if you stick this out for a while, will they reward you for it?
Frank Grimes
> njp1589
05/14/2014 at 09:49 |
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I can really relate to this. I dont have so much trouble at work except for stupid high school kids I am sure you can imagine the crap I deal with. It sounds like you need to tell people to back off and quit taking on so much work. Obviously this isnt doing you any good and interfering with your life...if you get fired then at least its an opportunity to find a place that understands. EASIER SAID THAN DONE!
I have much the same stress right now and your really nailed it by saying you dont have anyone or anything to work towards. I have a crappy low paying job that ends with the school year. I have been in school the last 4 years trying to figure out just what career I would like to pursue and have switched majors twice. I also feel like I have nothing to work towards and have lost hope. I can tell I am feeling down when all I want to do is avoid people and hide out and binge on video games.
I think therapy is the answer, and answer that brings its own problems stress and stuff with it.
OPPOsaurus WRX
> RacecaR
05/14/2014 at 09:49 |
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we've all been there. I punched a wall. All that did was create another project for me. At least i didn;t hit a stud. I was much happier breaking the wall than my hand.
The Compromiser
> OPPOsaurus WRX
05/14/2014 at 09:52 |
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I kicked a door once. Wife was mad. Broke the door and my toe. Next time: Shoes.
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OPPOsaurus WRX
> Sn210
05/14/2014 at 09:53 |
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not to hijack the thread but has't it been a while? And NJP, be tough, like this badass Rally wheel.
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Sn210
> OPPOsaurus WRX
05/14/2014 at 09:57 |
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Yes!!! A month and two days. I'm hoping it happens soon! Badass rally wheel is badass
JawzX2, Boost Addict. 1.6t, 2.7tt, 4.2t
> OPPOsaurus WRX
05/14/2014 at 09:59 |
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Last time I did that (more than 9 years ago) I hit the stud. Three broken 4th metacarpals ("boxer's fractures") in the right hand later and I've learned my lesson. Now I just drink too much.
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MooseKnuckles
> MooseKnuckles
05/14/2014 at 10:00 |
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I'll add to this, I used to work 65-70hrs a week, did it for a solid 8 months. Work 28 days straight at one point during that time. Was basically non-stop work, a few 10 min breaks here and there, usually just eating as I worked. It took some adjusting, but if you manage each job/task individually while still being aware of 'the big picture' it makes it much easier. Splitting your time between jobs so you can change up what your looking at throughout the day, or doing a quick task just to get something accomplished in the short term helps.
If you start stressing out over being stressed you get no where.
After that level of work, and learning how to manage it, I very very rarely stress or worry about anything. I often see people stress over piddly shit and think to myself "THAT isn't stress".
yamahog
> OPPOsaurus WRX
05/14/2014 at 10:12 |
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Back in undergrad, so many guys were putting holes through the walls of the frat house that the housing manager told them he was now leaving outward facing nails between the walls before fixing the drywall. Russian nail roulette quickly put an end to the drunken wall abuse!
evil2win
> njp1589
05/14/2014 at 10:28 |
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Here's your problem: "A new study finds that, in 42% of companies, low performers actually report being more engaged – more motivated and more likely to enjoy working at their organization, for example – than middle and high performers do."
You try too hard. http://blogs.wsj.com/atwork/2013/03…
66671 - 200 [METRIC] my dash
> njp1589
05/14/2014 at 16:46 |
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"And then I sit back and start to think about why I'm actually doing this, and how I have no plans and no idea where I want to be in 2 or 3 years. I realize that I don't have anyone or anything that I'm doing this for, because I sure as hell don't feel like I'm worth it. So I have a drink and play some mindless games until I'm tired, go to bed, and do the same thing over and over again."
This this this. Except the drinking, for better or for worse. I've just had to deal with it, but it would help if there's someone you can talk to. I guess this is a decent place to start.