What's The Funniest Garage Moment You've Had With Your Buddies?

"Joshua "Dr. Science" Gilbert" (joshuagilbert) 05/09/2014 at 11:49 • Filed to: Friends

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My buddy Sean owns a 2007 Pony Package Mustang. We've done everything to that car, all but supercharged it. Almost every month, we have a new project and my garage is our meeting place.

Last week, he was resetting his TPMS system and so he was using my air compressor to fill it. Sean HATES spiders. Like HATES them. Sean's brother is a junior SEAL and he's the toughest guy I know, but spiders are his kryptonite. He sees a spider crawl under the car and jumps. "WHERE DID IT GO?" I couldn't resist, I took a wire that was sitting around and brushed it up his back. I've never seen him turn around that fast. He slugged me so hard.

In October, we managed to get the car to shut off, 5 miles from our neighborhood, after our 2am "test drive" after we put in a new air filter. We had forgotten to reset the onboard computer. It was probably 28º F that night. We did the restart in a McDonald's parking lot.

In late February, I was helping my best friend his brake rotors. We had it up on stands in my garage. We pulled off the old, stock rotors, which were now rusted to shit. We pulled out the new cross-drilled stainless rotors he had bought online, only to find that they were fitted for a GT. After fiddling with it for an hour, and even checking the boxes again to make sure we had the rotors on the right end of the car, we determined that he was indeed, stranded.

My mother has perfect timing - and not in a good way - She comes outside and demands that I attend a family dinner in town (that she hadn't warned us about earlier.) Now note, I'm half Indian, so this was a cultural celebration with other Indians and Indian food. Sean is half Irish and just white so he declines the invitation since spicy food really isn't his thing.

Sean spent the night in our garage - from 5:15 to 9:30 - when I finally came home and we hopped in my car to get stock rotors from Advance Auto Parts. I looked into our garage, which was completely messy before, and now it was completely clean.

"What? I got bored man."

Although mine aren't too funny, tell us, ladies and gentlemen, of the shenanigans you've had working on cars with friends, either now or in your youth.

Frank Grimes > Joshua "Dr. Science" Gilbert 05/09/2014 at 12:01

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I take offense to "just white" it denies white people of a rich cutlural heritage which I know not much about but.... yeah.

CAR_IS_MI > Joshua "Dr. Science" Gilbert 05/09/2014 at 12:02

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Met this girl who drove a Camaro, got to talking, she was looking to do springs on her car so I figured it was a great in. Invited her over told her I would do her springs for her. She asked if a few of her friends could come along I said sure.

Put her car up on jack stands in what seemed like normal, safe mounting locations, starting removing the wheels, took the rear wheels off and... TIMBER... the damn heavy ass LS1 nose pivoted perfectly on the front jack stands and left her car in a nose dive...

Joshua "Dr. Science" Gilbert > Frank Grimes 05/09/2014 at 12:09

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He's half Irish and half Armenian. White implies a rich European heritage, especially if you're an American. I'm half Indian and half white (Irish, Russian, German, Cherokee) No offense intended. :)

jkm7680 > Joshua "Dr. Science" Gilbert 05/09/2014 at 12:10

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Deconstructed the interior, lost what seemed like every single nessecsary part to keeping the interior in one piece. It was on my buddies old Silverado.

thebigbossyboss > Joshua "Dr. Science" Gilbert 05/09/2014 at 12:11

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Hm. When people ask me my ethnicity I rustle jimmies by saying "I am American" because my mom is from America, and I live in a country that is not America.

DatBomb > Joshua "Dr. Science" Gilbert 05/09/2014 at 12:16

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Worked on my motorcycle this winter at my buddies place since I dont' have a work spot. It had an oil leak all last season and I had it sitting for a while there before working. This bike is an 81 xs 400 without a dipstick but a peaking window. Buddy says yeah man, all the oil leaked out onto my driveway (I got a lot of shit for that) and the window was empty. Needless to say we pulled things apart and did some extra work than just oil seals and without any issues we put everything back together. Then we filled her up with oil, but the window never seemed to get a fill line. So we filled some more to the same results... Fck it lets just cranked her. Started up purring on the second kick. So we gave it some revs after a few minutes. Oil everywhere spewing from the breather like the Bellagio Fountains. After 10 minutes of dreadful frustrations I decided to pull the oil plug and kept my eye on the window. With a pan under the bike filling by the second (after oil had already spewed out from before) about 2.5 quarts later the window begins to clear and go lower. I screwed the plug back in at the right oil level and all was a go. We had over filled my little 400 by just under a gallon of oil... Epic Face palm was to be had.

Frank Grimes > Joshua "Dr. Science" Gilbert 05/09/2014 at 12:16

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Yeah I wasnt really offended...only a tiny bit...cuz you know privilege...also that is a joke as well. And now I dont know how to finish this post without pissing you off or sounding like I am pissed off.

I think mostly I am just mad I dont know anything about my family or where we are really from...and now this turned into a confession and a personal look into my life.

I will end now.

Joshua "Dr. Science" Gilbert > jkm7680 05/09/2014 at 12:20

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-_-

jkm7680 > Joshua "Dr. Science" Gilbert 05/09/2014 at 12:24

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A little face palm action.

I did drop a toothbrush between the front bumper and radiator of my A4. Dot ask how.

Joshua "Dr. Science" Gilbert > jkm7680 05/09/2014 at 12:25

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lmao. A true gearhead checks his car during his morning routines.

Joshua "Dr. Science" Gilbert > CAR_IS_MI 05/09/2014 at 12:27

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She ever talk to you again?

CAR_IS_MI > Joshua "Dr. Science" Gilbert 05/09/2014 at 12:28

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Yea, we actually went out a few times after that. Then I realized she was baby crazy.

Joshua "Dr. Science" Gilbert > CAR_IS_MI 05/09/2014 at 12:30

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MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > Joshua "Dr. Science" Gilbert 05/09/2014 at 13:03

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OK Time for some fun...WITH BATTERIES!

OK Kids, Electricity is important in a car, knowing what wires go where can be a challenge and sometimes guess and check is involved. But be careful lol. All 3 of these happen with the same friend, but his car changes frequently. He's a gear head living with his at the time g/f, who is my neighbor.

Story #1

His 90's Cobra Mustang battery dies and he asks to borrow the battery out of my 68 Mercury Montego, no big deal, he's just running the battery to advance auto around the corner from our houses. While he's undoing the battery terminals (with the wrench I kindly provided), I semi-jokingly say "Watch out not to touch the other terminal, you're getting kinda close". "I'm not THAT stupid" BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZ "FUCK...."

Story #2

After trading the Mustang for a GIANT LIFTED monster truck of a 2 door S10 Chevy Blazer ZR2. And I really mean that, the thing had like 38 or 40" tires or something. This Blazer had a 350 V8 swapped into it which was a wiring nightmare. After some crazy drama with ANOTHER trade he ended up back with this truck, after another guy trying to fix it after failing off road. I thought it used to be a wiring nightmare, now it was worse. And it wouldn't start.

After 2 days of wiring, unwiring, hard wiring, annoying as wiring he finally tries to start it while I'm inside my house (it's got headers and straight pipes, I was going to know when it started). I hear it start so I run out to see our work finally functioning to see him freaking out that he...CAN'T TURN IT OFF. After all his hard wiring he had cut the key out of it for a start switch, the only problem was the power wasn't connected to the on/off of the key. So he hastily rips off the positive terminal of the battery thinking it'll stop (and somehow not zapping himself this time). ZOMBIE TRUCK KEEPS RUNNING. The alternator was keeping it powered hahahaha. I finally after he was freaking out and ran 3 laps around the truck (no idea why, made fun of him forever for it) I tell him to just pull the power into the distributor cap, which it then dies right away....and we had more re-wiring to do.

Story #3

(seriously how do I have so many battery stories)

Once again my buddy needs to borrow the Montego Battery, which we keep using because it's huge and never a necessity to have juiced because it's not a daily driver. I offer to take the battery out this time since he got shocked last time, and it's my car anyhow. He of course says semi-jokingly "Don't be stupid like me and shock yourself!" BUZZZZZZZZZ "FUCK I'M AN IDIOT TOO!"

Hope those give you a good laugh I'm laughing still remembering him running laps around the truck shouting "WHAT DO I DO IT WON'T SHUT OFF!!!!"

Joshua "Dr. Science" Gilbert > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner 05/09/2014 at 13:08

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ZOMBIE TRUCK LIVES

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > Joshua "Dr. Science" Gilbert 05/09/2014 at 13:13

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seriously, it was one of the funniest things I've ever seen how he freaked out.

Joshua "Dr. Science" Gilbert > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner 05/09/2014 at 13:15

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You need to repost that as a narrative story on Oppo bro, with pics.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > Joshua "Dr. Science" Gilbert 05/09/2014 at 13:18

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I really wish I had some. I don't even have a single pic of that ridiculous monstrosity of a truck.

I remember he tried to take it to the car cruise in our town, he didn't even make it to the cruise (under a mile from the house) before being pulled over for a bumper height violation

jkm7680 > Joshua "Dr. Science" Gilbert 05/09/2014 at 15:51

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Haha, I was giving the engine bay a good once-over with a toothbrush. I was wearing greasy rubber gloves, and the damn thing just slipped out of my hand. It was relatively easy to get. I just had to reach under the front bumper thankfully. Lesson learned: Don't clean your engine bay with your roommates tooth brush.

TotallyThatStupid > Joshua "Dr. Science" Gilbert 05/09/2014 at 23:56

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Many, many moons ago we were trying to awaken my buddy Scott's 1968 BMW 1600 from the dead ("It's lost the will to live."). Anyway, for whatever reason, I was cleaning its little tiny fuse block with steel wool.

Unhook the battery? Sit down, Junior. You, with your safety nonsense. Go play with your dolls.

For some other reason, Scott was walking around with a pan of acetone. Probably was going to clean something. It was about then I discovered, 1) steel wool makes a lousy fuse because, 2) steel wool burns in a really interesting way.

"Hey! This is on FIRE!"