Some Relationship Advice Needed.

"Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW." (aya-yu)
05/07/2014 at 18:21 • Filed to: None

Well, i think i need one this time. Here's a Toyota Crown Athlete for your problems. Now, get on the problem..

Well, about a week ago i meet my ex at a local mall, and well, we talk about things we had been missed, and then i accidentally take her out on an unplanned date, so we watch movies, eats ice cream, things like that.

And then last sunday, i ask my girl to acompanny me to a local city parade, but she was busy so he can't go there, so i ask my ex instead, and well, me and my ex go to the parade together and had some amazing time there.

And that makes me thinking. I spent more time with my ex than with my girl in the past 2 weeks. Plus she was single and currently only date with me, and i think she was waaaay more prettier than my girl. It's like, somehow my girl's business is paving my way to get together with my ex.

Let me put it this way. If they were a car, my ex was an Aston Martin V12 Vantage, while my girl was a Jaguar S-Type.

And my situation is like, i can afford that Aston Martin, but I can't lose my S-Type, because i only have a single-car garage. It's like i didn't want to be with the S-Type, but i don't have heart to tell the S-Type that i want to get back with my old Aston. There's too much memory inside that S-Type that i makes me stick with the S-Type. But the S-Type constantly makes me sad because when i want to take her out for a drive, she instead spending her time in the shop. So i went to aston and take the old aston instead

So...

Should it stick with my girl and hope the situation somehow get better, or be with aston?

Would it be evil that i tell her that i'm not really like her anymore?

I'm affraid that i like my ex because it was familliar, beacuse well, she have been in my live for the past 6 years or so, while my girl only been 1.

Halp.

DISCUSSION (53)

jkm7680 > Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW.
05/07/2014 at 18:23

It's really a case of personal preference. If you'd rather be with the Ex, then be with her. What kind of breakup was it? If you don't mind my asking.

For Sweden > Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW.
05/07/2014 at 18:24

Not comparing your girlfriends to cars might be a good start.

Tom McParland > Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW.
05/07/2014 at 18:24

The answer is Miata

EL_ULY > Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW.
05/07/2014 at 18:25

why is your ex, your ex?

Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. > Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW.
05/07/2014 at 18:25

If you don't have strong feelings towards your girl it'd be cruel to keep her around under the pretense that you do, best to let her down gently now. As for the ex if you're sure that the reason you split in the first place is no longer an issue then I don't see why you shouldn't get back together.

Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW. > Tom McParland
05/07/2014 at 18:25

Both droves a miata.

My ex get the NA, and my girl get the NC.

Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW. > For Sweden
05/07/2014 at 18:27

Yeah.

I guess that's because i saw face and character everytime i saw a car. They have face isn;t they?

Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW. > EL_ULY
05/07/2014 at 18:27

Well, we got lost contact, she was busy, i was busy as well, and we separate.

And now i met her again.

Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW. > jkm7680
05/07/2014 at 18:28

Well, we got lost contact, she was busy, i was busy as well, and we sort of separate.

And now i met her again.

Nibbles > Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW.
05/07/2014 at 18:30

From my experience - NEVER DATE YOUR EX. You separated for a reason. Doesn't matter how long has passed, that will come up again.

In my case, it resulted in a 2.5 year "marriage" followed by a divorce that took 4 years to complete. I was left destitute without a place to live, a vehicle, 60% of my paycheck and - worst of all - my daughter. Haven't seen her since.

Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW. > Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell.
05/07/2014 at 18:31

But..

Well, i don't have a heart to tell her that. I always thinking that would be evil.

And on the ex part, we never had any issue in the first place, so..

Your boy, BJR > Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW.
05/07/2014 at 18:31

Kinja'd!!!

jkm7680 > Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW.
05/07/2014 at 18:32

Hmmm, Sounds at this point like it's really the path that you are happiest with.

njp1589 > Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW.
05/07/2014 at 18:32

Look buddy, I'm not an expert on relationships, but here's what I say to everyone every time they talk about getting back with an ex;

Your Ex is an Ex for a reason.

I don't know your circumstances, whether it was mutually agreed, or one person wanted out, or what, but that person was no longer a part of your life because one or both of you made a conscious decision that it was for the best. And then you made a decision to start driving an S-Type. Decisions have weight, and going back on them have impacts. It's all about asking yourself how much you value those decisions that you made.

CAR_IS_MI > For Sweden
05/07/2014 at 18:33

BOOOOO!!!!

Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. > Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW.
05/07/2014 at 18:33

It's a lot kinder to let her down nicely now and let her find someone who does feel strongly towards her. Break ups are tough but you have to consider what's best for her. And if there was never an issue with the ex it seems like that's your best option.

Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW. > Nibbles
05/07/2014 at 18:34

Well, that's really sucks.

In my case, well, we just sort of separated thanks to our business.

All my previous relationship was destroyed by my (or my ex) business.

Diesel > Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW.
05/07/2014 at 18:34

Why did your ex become your ex? You need to compare the issues of why you broke up and why you should break up with your current girl.

CAR_IS_MI > Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW.
05/07/2014 at 18:35

I say screw em both (take that however way you so wish it really makes no difference) and buy a real Aston...

(and by buy a real Aston I mean the real car, don't buy a hooker named Aston, that only ends with VD)

Nibbles > Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW.
05/07/2014 at 18:37

In that case, there may be little reason not to give it the ole "College Try". Just tread carefully, plx?

Supreme Kiwi Zorro > Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW.
05/07/2014 at 18:39

Kinja'd!!!

Stick to one that makes you the happiest. It looks like you and your ex just needed a break from each other. I'd suggest trying again, but this time give her a plenty of space.

It's not cruel to tell S-Type that you no longer like her. This is called being honest. However, she's free to do her own things like shopping, so don't use that against her. You can always ask her to be friends.

Cheers! :)

Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW. > njp1589
05/07/2014 at 18:40

That's actually a good advice.

I guess i'll wait the chance when i can take the S-Type out.

Luc - The Acadian Oppo > Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW.
05/07/2014 at 18:40

It sounds like you like the ex more by the sounds of it. Just make sure the ex want's to get back together before you do anything drastic.

Going out with the ex while you are with the other is never a good idea.

Just follow your heart and not your brain. What think is right VS what feels right can be 2 completely different things.

Vince-The Roadside Mechanic > Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW.
05/07/2014 at 18:42

You are in luck because the roadside mechanic gives great relation ship advice just answer the next questions please

1 why is your ex an ex?

2 may I see some pics?

3 Which is more fun to be with?

4 who is more positive?

5 who likes cars more?

6 who could you see starting a family with?

Tell me the answers to these questions and I will tell you the answer.

Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW. > Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell.
05/07/2014 at 18:44

Well, that's true as well.

I think i'll wait until her things sorted out. When that's done i'll try to take her for some time together.

Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW. > Supreme Kiwi Zorro
05/07/2014 at 18:52

Hmmm

I think i'll try to see how things will pan out with my girl first.

Well, i always give my girl a free will. So with whoever she wanted to go, do whatever she want to do, i'll let her.

Is it wrong?

Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW. > CAR_IS_MI
05/07/2014 at 18:53

Yes! :D

Too bad the nearest Aston Dealer was about 800 miles from my house. Damn.

Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW. > Luc - The Acadian Oppo
05/07/2014 at 18:55

Well, to be honest, yes i like my ex better.

Yes, that's true. I think i'll wait for things pan out with my girl first.

Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW. > Vince-The Roadside Mechanic
05/07/2014 at 19:01

1. Well, we got lost contact, she was busy, i was busy as well, and we sort of separate.

2. Sure. But my ex only (my girl is not pretty :p)

Kinja'd!!!

She's 21. Asians don't age, don't they?

3. My ex.

4. Positive like?

5. My ex. She used to drive a 120i, but then he bought a mazda, and now droves a NA Miata. She still planning of getting an E46 M3 tough.

6. My girl. My ex is a bit too childish.

Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW. > Diesel
05/07/2014 at 19:01

Well, we got lost contact, she was busy, i was busy as well, and we separate.

I think i'll do that.

Vince-The Roadside Mechanic > Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW.
05/07/2014 at 19:04

At first I though your ex was 12. well it comes down to 5 and 6 whatever means more to you is your answer.

Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW. > Vince-The Roadside Mechanic
05/07/2014 at 19:12

That's normal. Sometimes people thinks i was her father. plus she was only about 160cm or so.

Hmmm..

I think having an E46 next to my crown sounds pretty cool :D

Vince-The Roadside Mechanic > Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW.
05/07/2014 at 19:14

Go for it I support your decision.

RooWills > Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW.
05/07/2014 at 19:17

This is brilliant.

Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW. > Vince-The Roadside Mechanic
05/07/2014 at 19:23

Nah, that's just a quick thought.

I mean, both are Straight Six, but designed on different purpose. So when she need some comfort she could drove the crown and when i need some speed i can drove the E46! :D

*Sounds good on paper. But i don't think that will work.

Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW. > RooWills
05/07/2014 at 19:26

Thank You.

Supreme Kiwi Zorro > Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW.
05/07/2014 at 21:04

Nein, nichts schlimmes. However, this…

"But the S-Type constantly makes me sad because when i want to take her out for a drive, she instead spending her time in the shop."

Why does it make you sad when S-Type is living life? Have you tried talking to her about how you feel? She probably wasn't aware of her actions towards you. It can't hurt to ask. :)

E92M3 > Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW.
05/07/2014 at 21:06

The grass is always greener where you water it. I wouldn't make your judgement on looks alone. Everyone gets old eventually. The fact that your current girlfriend is busy could mean she is ambitious, and will care about her career, and help provide for the family instead of being a leech on the family. My wife has always been career oriented, and I'd much rather have her then a trophy wife thats doesn't work.

Kylemaro > Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW.
05/08/2014 at 02:19

i'm gonna whole heartedly say your ex. everyones got the one you should have stayed with but "right person wrong time?" and its a pretty well known fact if you can remain "friends" with an ex lover you are either still in love (you fucking are! dumbass why even pose the question lol) or never were. i know breakups are tough but you know whats tougher. having your current (apparently not that great) gf breakup with you for someone she likes more or whatever reason (girls are fucking stupid they do that shit) and your ex to somehow find mr perfect and your left with nothing but your own two hands (didnt mean that to be a joke really) but yes the EX go for it!!!!!!! i'd love my ex back. course its only been 3 months and she left me for some dick who used her and left her (fucking told her it would happen too, see women are stupid) but casually bring it up to the ex. if shes game for another go of it the DO IT!!!!! thats just me though

Kylemaro > Vince-The Roadside Mechanic
05/08/2014 at 02:20

hey could i have some relationship advice? perhaps somewhere more private then on oppo haha. i'm quite the mechanic myself but i usually need just a bit of help

Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW. > Supreme Kiwi Zorro
05/08/2014 at 06:52

Well, no, not with life. She's to busy with her work that i doubt that she even remember how's life outside.

Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW. > E92M3
05/08/2014 at 06:55

Yeah. The problem was, both girl are working (My ex is a Doctor in a local child hospital, while my girl was a creative manager in local advertising company).

I think i prefer a girl that a bit less work oriented.

On an unrelated note, do you really have an E46 M3?

Vince-The Roadside Mechanic > Kylemaro
05/08/2014 at 07:43

So what is wrong in your relationship?

E92M3 > Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW.
05/08/2014 at 10:37

I do.

Supreme Kiwi Zorro > Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW.
05/08/2014 at 17:09

* nods head, adds notes on a therapist clipboard * Did she choose to be a workaholic or did she not have a choice but to work to survive? If it's the former, why did you choose to be with her, knowing she won't be around much?

Logical questions indeed.

Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW. > Supreme Kiwi Zorro
05/08/2014 at 17:19

well, i think she becomes so busy with her work fairly recently. She's not a workaholic.

Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW. > E92M3
05/08/2014 at 17:47

Damn, That's cool!

Supreme Kiwi Zorro > Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW.
05/08/2014 at 19:40

Oh, ah, very well. Hope you'll be able to make up your mind. :)

Kylemaro > Vince-The Roadside Mechanic
05/08/2014 at 20:22

well in short i had my own issues (now mostly resolved) but because of them i was acting like a dick. mean all the time ect. she got sick of it. left me for some guy at work (maybe worked there a month before that, hardly knew him) and i told her when she did "he's gonna get what he wants and leave you" and he did, but now another guy from work i guess wants his turn (shes really dumb idk if your picking that up but she doesnt get that they dont really love her) and here i am trying to be civil with her and trying to be her friend again, show her i've changed myself and that all i want is for us to be happy together again (just not ready to give me another chance yet i guess) but she isn't having it. its a drastic change of life for me. idk how she managed to just walk away like that. no feelings about it nothing. we've been together since.... the last days of my sr year of high school (also her last days of 8th grade, judge away judge away i was 17 she was 14) idk what to expect, i want to believe that shes "the one" and we'll end up back together but idk. i mean....... she kept everything from me. a bracelet i had made for her. countless stuffed animals and blankets and pillows that were gifts for whatever reason. cards. the diamond "promise ring" i got her for her birthday just this past november. you don't keep all that if its not still meaningful right? idk.... wish someone older and wiser (i'm only 22) could help me with some "now we all go through this" speech and reassure me that everythings gonna be fine. til then well..... i've been drinking all of my sleepless nights alone since it happened february 20th. i lost my job the next day. still unemployed too :/

Vince-The Roadside Mechanic > Kylemaro
05/08/2014 at 23:58

Have you ever watched Say Anything.....well I will get to the point do something ballsy (boom box) maybe grab her be the waist and kiss her show her your priorities. Wait for her outside of work by your car say you acted like a dick and screwed up and you are sorry and want a second chance.

Kylemaro > Vince-The Roadside Mechanic
05/09/2014 at 01:59

oh i have. the day she got dumped i left a home made card, a poem, hand picked flower bouquet and a stuffed animal on her porch for her. sent her a text to let her know i still care and that I'm sorry. all i want is us to be happy again. its been a few days. I'm crazy impatient and she seems to just still want the asshole from work. i know I'm doing everything i can but it still feels like I'm not doing enough. but yes i have seen say anything. that is my favorite 80s movie. although i kinda worry that if i boom boxed her her mother might very well call the police lol. i thank you for the advice. I'm really hoping i can get her back. you don't find someone as special as she is to me more then once in a lifetime. i don't want to let her get away. I'm hoping soon enough she will get over him. i mean 2 months compared to the years we were together. i just don't get how she doesn't miss me at all :( kinda makes me feel like shit

Vince-The Roadside Mechanic > Kylemaro
05/09/2014 at 07:46

I hope it works out for you.

Kylemaro > Vince-The Roadside Mechanic
05/09/2014 at 07:49

thanks!