Hi, Everybody

"Michael Ballaban" (ballaban) 05/06/2014 at 22:47 • Filed to: Hi

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Hi.

Your boy, BJR > Michael Ballaban 05/06/2014 at 22:49

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FUCK OFF BALLBAN! THIS PLACE IS NO LONGER FOR YOU!
Speaking of which, How would you like to be Vice Dictator of the Oppo's State of Brunei when the oppobros stage a coup?

PatBateman > Michael Ballaban 05/06/2014 at 22:50

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It's all fun and games until SkyNet takes control of it.

Michael Ballaban > Your boy, BJR 05/06/2014 at 22:51

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Aw nuts.

And I'm not one for power. I wouldn't know what to do with it.

Forgetful > Michael Ballaban 05/06/2014 at 22:52

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Tom McParland > Michael Ballaban 05/06/2014 at 22:52

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Why did "Mr. Roboto" just start playing in my head....oh, i know why...because I'm weird.

Manuél Ferrari > Michael Ballaban 05/06/2014 at 22:53

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Yes you do. Embezzle funds and purchase hypercar.

Michael Ballaban > Tom McParland 05/06/2014 at 22:53

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Because it's a damn good song, that's why. You're not weird, you just have good taste.

Forgetful > Michael Ballaban 05/06/2014 at 22:54

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You know how Japanese broadcasters always say 'hai' as an acknowlegement or whatever... well, whenever I watch SuperGT races, I can't help but picture one guy calling the racing action while the other guy just sits there smiling, waving to passers-by and saying 'hi' to them, completely oblivious to the action on track.

Does that make me racist?

Your boy, BJR > Michael Ballaban 05/06/2014 at 22:54

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Too bad. As Benevolent Dictator for Life of The People's State of Brunoppo, and all the power that comes with, I hear by appoint you Vice Benevolent Dictator for Life of The People's State of Brunoppo, yadda yadda yadda, 'til death do us part. Congrats! Your're the only staffer in my cabinet!

Michael Ballaban > Manuél Ferrari 05/06/2014 at 22:55

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That's the thing. I have a guilt complex, mostly because I've been a victim of embezzlement myself. Any rider of the MTA is.

When you spend $112 a month on a metrocard, and the subway is still awful, you become an anti-corruption campaigner pretty quickly.

Your boy, BJR > Manuél Ferrari 05/06/2014 at 22:55

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And for that, I make you Chair of the Ministry of Money and Financial Shit.

Michael Ballaban > Your boy, BJR 05/06/2014 at 22:55

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Darn. Now I'll be forced to have responsibilities.

Michael Ballaban > Forgetful 05/06/2014 at 22:56

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I don't think so? But I'm not really an expert. I'd defer to someone who is.

Tom McParland > Michael Ballaban 05/06/2014 at 22:57

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Did you see the Jimmy Fallon vs Emma Stone lip-sync battle? Fallon throws down with Styx. It was the shiz.

Your boy, BJR > Michael Ballaban 05/06/2014 at 22:57

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Nevermind. That quote gets you stripped of power. I hearby sentence you to 100 years in a labor camp, making vinyl pressings of GOOD music.

Manuél Ferrari > Your boy, BJR 05/06/2014 at 22:58

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I humbly accept this position and promise to embezzle the maximum amount of money from our subjects.

EL_ULY > Michael Ballaban 05/06/2014 at 22:58

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hello, my name is Uly. How are you this evening?

Manuél Ferrari > Michael Ballaban 05/06/2014 at 22:59

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Wow. Big cities suck! If you lived in the burbs you could nearly lease a car for that amount.

Your boy, BJR > Manuél Ferrari 05/06/2014 at 23:00

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Sometimes I pause and wonder if the power went to my head…..if I betrayed the people I promised to give this country back to……then I hop in my 928 State Limo and run out of fucks to give.

Michael Ballaban > EL_ULY 05/06/2014 at 23:01

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Hi Uly! I'm doing okay. A bit sleepy, however that could be the chamomile and mint tea I've been drinking. How about yourself?

HammerheadFistpunch > Michael Ballaban 05/06/2014 at 23:02

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Panasonic GH2. yup

Gamecat235 > Michael Ballaban 05/06/2014 at 23:03

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S'up Ballaban?! I'm hanging out in a random hotel in Eastern SD. It's really really exciting. (might be the beer talking).

Michael Ballaban > Gamecat235 05/06/2014 at 23:05

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Oh cool! What's there? I've never been there, but I always want to try and visit new places.

Manuél Ferrari > Your boy, BJR 05/06/2014 at 23:05

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Can I have a 928 GTR?

Your boy, BJR > Manuél Ferrari 05/06/2014 at 23:07

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No. Nobody is allowed to have 928s except me. You can have a slant nose though

Manuél Ferrari > Your boy, BJR 05/06/2014 at 23:09

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Can the slant nose be cocaine white with a red interior? And can the turbos have extra boost so that the car's heart will run as fast as those who snort coke off the huge ass whale tail?

Gamecat235 > Michael Ballaban 05/06/2014 at 23:09

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Really? Very little other than beer and wide open scenic places... some nice roads... but I've got a rental focus hatch. It's ok. I'm enjoying the beer and the drives. And the people.

I'm a fan of wide open spaces. (Being from AZ, I guess I'm used to them).

Michael Ballaban > Gamecat235 05/06/2014 at 23:11

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That actually sounds kind of nice. I've been cooped up in New York for a while, and I've been missing wide open spaces a lot lately.

And I don't mean to nanny, but please don't enjoy the beer and the drives simultaneously. You'll end up in a ditch somewhere, and then what will your mother say?

Your boy, BJR > Manuél Ferrari 05/06/2014 at 23:14

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Naturally. My first movement a Dictator For Life is to have the forests cut down and replaced with coca trees.

Manuél Ferrari > Your boy, BJR 05/06/2014 at 23:15

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This is a very smart financial decision. I support it as Chieftan of Financial Matters

Gamecat235 > Michael Ballaban 05/06/2014 at 23:17

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Oh, I'm ridiculously paranoid in that capacity, More than one beer at a sitting and I'm walking around for a couple of hours or getting a ride with someone else. I had one at the local bar and then picked up a couple for the hotel.

But I truly appreciate, and echo, the sentiment. =)

Your boy, BJR > Manuél Ferrari 05/06/2014 at 23:18

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Also, I'm totally buying a tiger.

Michael Ballaban > Gamecat235 05/06/2014 at 23:22

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Yay.

Manuél Ferrari > Your boy, BJR 05/06/2014 at 23:23

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This one?

CTSenVy > Michael Ballaban 05/06/2014 at 23:23

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Your boy, BJR > Manuél Ferrari 05/06/2014 at 23:25

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No. I need a sober tiger. That way more cocaine goes to export.

and me.

Manuél Ferrari > Your boy, BJR 05/06/2014 at 23:27

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Good call

Also we should get some of those military trained dolphins

EL_ULY > Michael Ballaban 05/06/2014 at 23:31

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EL_ULY > Michael Ballaban 05/06/2014 at 23:33

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thanks mobile kinja... anyways, that sounds delish. Try and get some rest our fearless weekebd leader. I got another 12 hour day tomorrow. Time for bed. Later Michael

Your boy, BJR > Manuél Ferrari 05/06/2014 at 23:43

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Only if they're the rapey, natural born killers -type.

Manuél Ferrari > Your boy, BJR 05/06/2014 at 23:51

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I knew they were rapey. But I never knew the duck billed bastard was poisonous!

And damn that dingo baby is cute.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Michael Ballaban 05/06/2014 at 23:52

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Your boy, BJR > Manuél Ferrari 05/06/2014 at 23:57

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Only the males. And now I want a female platypus because HOLY SHIT THEY LAY EGGS

Also, my pup looks like a dingo.

Manuél Ferrari > Your boy, BJR 05/06/2014 at 23:59

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Your pup rules!

Mine is down for the count right now. He can't help invade anything

Your boy, BJR > Manuél Ferrari 05/07/2014 at 00:05

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BWAHAHAHAHA

Shit, sorry, yours is cute as hell. Frenchie?
Mine's a (red) Catahoula Leopard Dog.

Manuél Ferrari > Your boy, BJR 05/07/2014 at 00:09

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Haha yeah half Frenchie half Boston

Wait WUT, your dog's dad mated with a leopard?

Your boy, BJR > Manuél Ferrari 05/07/2014 at 00:15

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NONONO

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catahoula…

Your pup looks like an ol' guy. how old is he?

Manuél Ferrari > Your boy, BJR 05/07/2014 at 00:20

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link was kinja'd!

he's 8.5

old man

Your boy, BJR > Manuél Ferrari 05/07/2014 at 00:27

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Awwww……My girl is a bout a year and a half old. I adopted her after I had to put my chocolate lab (who i had since kindergarten) down.

try this link

Manuél Ferrari > Your boy, BJR 05/07/2014 at 00:30

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Sorry you had to put the lab down :(

OMG your dog is a White Walker!

Your boy, BJR > Manuél Ferrari 05/07/2014 at 00:36

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here's MacDuff. He was the fuckin' bomb. Daisy though, I love her like she's my daughter.

Manuél Ferrari > Your boy, BJR 05/07/2014 at 00:40

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Aww what a buddy.

My friend has a 3 year old choc lab. Very cool dog

Your boy, BJR > Manuél Ferrari 05/07/2014 at 00:41

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After 13 years, 2 life saving surgeries, blindness, 4 moves, and partial paralysis, he earned his rest. It just always sucks.

Manuél Ferrari > Your boy, BJR 05/07/2014 at 00:42

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It does always suck. No matter what

Mine has had 2 surgeries. And I know 12 or 13 will come sooner than later. It freaks me out.

Your boy, BJR > Manuél Ferrari 05/07/2014 at 00:46

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shit…….this took a turn for the sad

YAY LETS TALK ABOUT MY RULE OVER BRUNEI

I'd totally chill and smoke blunts with Castro.

Manuél Ferrari > Your boy, BJR 05/07/2014 at 01:50

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Sorry to burst your bubble but Castro is probably way too sick to be smoking blunts!

wildbill > Michael Ballaban 05/07/2014 at 09:11

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It's been a while