Name Jalopnik's Everycar Mascot! (Finally!)

"For Sweden" (rallybeetle) 05/02/2014 at 12:00 • Filed to: Oppo Contests

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Welcome to Oppositelock's very first contest, sponsored by !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!

You may remember that on New Year's Day 2013, Mr. Torchinsky announced a contest to name his everycar mascot pictured above. Then nothing happened.

Mr. Torchinsky is a man of wealth and taste. His cars have cockpits, while our fists are ham. Much like Carter Bays and Craig Thomas, he has no obligation to create a fulfilling finale for his creations. But Mr. Torchinsky has taken time from his schedule of Bentleys, babes, and babies to provide the finale we desire, and he needs your help.

In the comments, give your nominations for the mascot's name. When the nomination period ends, The Oppositelock moderators will select the best names and create a poll. The winner of the poll will be provided to Mr. Torchinsky for his ascent.

Good luck everyone!

Official Rules: Nomination period begins when this post is...posted. Nomination period ends when enough good nominations have been given. The moderators have sole discretion concerning the definitions of "enough" and "good." Jason Torchinsky has sole discretion concerning the definition of "sponsored." The final poll will be posted when the moderators have time to create and post it. Turnaround will be short, but this isn't our job give us some slack just be cool OK? All nominations, including the winning nomination, are subject to the approval of Jason Torchinsky. The Oppositelock moderators will provide no prizes; all prizes, if any, are at the sole discretion of Jason Torchinsky and Gawker Media LLC. The Oppositelock moderators have no legal representation; please don't sue. In the event of litigation, the moderators reserve the right to bribe rb1971 to provide counsel.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > For Sweden 05/02/2014 at 12:00

23

Otto

quarterlifecrisis > For Sweden 05/02/2014 at 12:02

1

+1 for legalese

HammerheadFistpunch > For Sweden 05/02/2014 at 12:04

1

Its pretty olive colored, even more than a little Olive, its Olive—er

Lets call it Stan!

For Sweden > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 05/02/2014 at 12:04

2

You are the first nomination! (This does not provide your nomination with any advantage)

Meatstick62 > For Sweden 05/02/2014 at 12:04

16

Nibbles

AMC/Renauledge > For Sweden 05/02/2014 at 12:05

0

JMC Blunderbus. Jimmy, for short.

Your boy, BJR > For Sweden 05/02/2014 at 12:05

0

Mr. Rusty Pants!

Nibbles > Meatstick62 05/02/2014 at 12:06

2

I support this nomination

PS9 > For Sweden 05/02/2014 at 12:07

0

[+1] To the likelyhood of nomination
[-1] To the likelyhood of nomination

willkinton247 > For Sweden 05/02/2014 at 12:07

0

Ralph the Car.

Jagvar > For Sweden 05/02/2014 at 12:07

15

Otto-the-Croatian-'Whoops my Volvo is a sedan' > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 05/02/2014 at 12:08

0

Yes.

JR1 > For Sweden 05/02/2014 at 12:08

0

Can we call it POS???

Otto-the-Croatian-'Whoops my Volvo is a sedan' > Meatstick62 05/02/2014 at 12:09

0

Agreed.

crowmolly > For Sweden 05/02/2014 at 12:10

6

Jake Brake.

Since our mascot has to be diesel.

Jagvar > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 05/02/2014 at 12:11

2

Volkswagen's stick-dude is named Otto Bahn. (Can't use that, though. It's already taken.)

jrcm485 > For Sweden 05/02/2014 at 12:12

0

Ovlov Orloved

Alex B > For Sweden 05/02/2014 at 12:12

0

Jeff

DeltawingGothamDeserves > For Sweden 05/02/2014 at 12:13

0

Is this the 12:00 special event? Cool.

I name it Beet.

With-a-G is back to not having anything written after his username > For Sweden 05/02/2014 at 12:13

2

Beigey McThusiast

TheD0k_2many toys 2little time > For Sweden 05/02/2014 at 12:14

6

Lamp

Bad Idea Hat > For Sweden 05/02/2014 at 12:14

0

Manuel Wagen

McMike > For Sweden 05/02/2014 at 12:15

0

Where is the original article about this little beast? Didn't Torch have a contest asking us all to come up with a little history for it?

Found it!

And while I didn't name it.. I described what I thought our little mascot would be.

1962-1966 Holeman P155 coupé (and saloon)

Flathead 1400cc (1350) four cylinder.

Longitudinal mounted engine

Live rear axle

Non-synchromesh four speed manual

One trim level - only option offered was dealer installed seatbelts.

Manual everything - steering, brakes, windows.

For a vehicle designed and built for the entry-level consumer, the P155 turned out to be a loved vehicle. The five-bearing lower end, combined with a gear-driven camshaft and 5.3:1 compression ratio proved to be a very reliable engine. Due to the simplicity of the engine, and the fact that most of the rest of the vehicle was build with tractor parts, P155s are still on the road today.

The 1962 model year Holemans were first made available in 1964. Marketed as a "new second-hand car," All Holemans were all delivered at the dealer with between 15-20K miles on them, three hubcaps, requiring a brake service, new wipers, muffler, and an alignment. According to registration records during the entire life of Holeman (62-66) yet no one had ever purchased, or seen one new. Even the dealer brochures showed images of the cars with paint chips and missing a hubcap. Nigel Holeman, and his mute brother Gus were very honest about their marketing, and not one customer ever complained that they didn't get what was advertised.

Holeman claimed that this was necessary to keep the price of the car down, as they were catering to the entry-level customer.

No one ever questioned it.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > jrcm485 05/02/2014 at 12:17

0

but it's not upside down...

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > For Sweden 05/02/2014 at 12:17

0

Captain Coupe

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Jagvar 05/02/2014 at 12:18

4

Reposted because Lachlan is a boss.

Gamecat235 > For Sweden 05/02/2014 at 12:18

1

He looks like a George. I suppose I can't play though, since I'm a moderator. Still looks like a George... or maybe a Jorge, or perhaps a Vlad.

McChiken116 - Patrick H. > For Sweden 05/02/2014 at 12:19

0

Off putting and unsettling?

JawzX2, Boost Addict. 1.6t, 2.7tt, 4.2t > For Sweden 05/02/2014 at 12:20

0

With a grin like that, he's obviously a Rupert.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > For Sweden 05/02/2014 at 12:20

0

Geoffrey

Jonathon Klein > For Sweden 05/02/2014 at 12:21

1

Juan Miguel Humperdink of the Diesel Humperdinks

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > For Sweden 05/02/2014 at 12:21

0

Another from me:

Monty! (alternate spelling: Monte)

Katiegan > For Sweden 05/02/2014 at 12:21

0

Bruiser. He might be small, but he packs a punch, in the form of Jalopnik posts.

Leadbull > For Sweden 05/02/2014 at 12:23

1

Carlos Goshn

Santiago of Escuderia Boricua > For Sweden 05/02/2014 at 12:33

0

Oppie, the oppositelock car!

haveacarortwoorthree > For Sweden 05/02/2014 at 12:36

6

Oliver.

jrcm485 > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner 05/02/2014 at 12:37

1

Give it time...

Matt Brown > For Sweden 05/02/2014 at 12:37

3

Shifty McDiesel

extraspecialbitter > For Sweden 05/02/2014 at 12:39

2

Walter Sobchak.

jrcm485 > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner 05/02/2014 at 12:40

0

Besides, it's just a name.

For Sweden > Gamecat235 05/02/2014 at 12:42

0

Nothing in the rules says Moderators can't nominate.

RazoE > For Sweden 05/02/2014 at 12:42

0

Cam? (Cam shaft and such)

For Sweden > For Sweden 05/02/2014 at 12:43

0

My nomination: Kuruma, or more formally, Kuruma-san

sliding-sideways > For Sweden 05/02/2014 at 12:46

0

Harrison the Simple

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > For Sweden 05/02/2014 at 12:57

0

He looks like a Tom

Tom McParland > Logansteno: Bought a VW? 05/02/2014 at 13:00

1

Really?

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > Tom McParland 05/02/2014 at 13:01

0

Yes.

Tom McParland > Logansteno: Bought a VW? 05/02/2014 at 13:02

0

Now I know what all of you think I look like. :D

Bullitt417 > For Sweden 05/02/2014 at 13:14

0

How about Bernie?

Frank Grimes > For Sweden 05/02/2014 at 13:16

0

Geoff

ly2v8-Brian > For Sweden 05/02/2014 at 13:22

0

Wilhelm.

Denver Is Stuck In The 90s > Gamecat235 05/02/2014 at 13:47

3

Taubitz > For Sweden 05/02/2014 at 13:52

0

Everett

AUav8r > For Sweden 05/02/2014 at 14:14

0

Nick Jalop

Roundbadge > Jagvar 05/02/2014 at 14:30

0

I'd totally go for this if the mascot had a mustache.

Agrajag > For Sweden 05/02/2014 at 15:02

0

Bil

Gabor Vajda (@Gabor_V) > For Sweden 05/02/2014 at 15:21

0

Bob.

Satoshi "Zipang" Katsura > For Sweden 05/02/2014 at 15:25

0

Carmen Alexandria Romanova

XJDano > For Sweden 05/02/2014 at 16:38

0

Joe

KylesPerGallon > For Sweden 05/02/2014 at 17:18

0

Beaddie

PS9 > Tom McParland 05/02/2014 at 17:18

2

You mean you don't look like this?

Vince-The Roadside Mechanic > For Sweden 05/02/2014 at 17:19

0

How about Vincent or Nikki

Deal Killer - Powered by Focus > Taubitz 05/02/2014 at 17:20

1

I'd go with Bernadette . An old fashioned name for an old fashioned car.

DuckDraper > For Sweden 05/02/2014 at 17:22

0

Since it's for an everyday car how about Beige Phlegmsworth?

AthomSfere > Gamecat235 05/02/2014 at 17:28

0

Vlad is good.

EL_ULY > For Sweden 05/02/2014 at 17:28

0

Diesel B. McWagon

Dunnik > For Sweden 05/02/2014 at 17:32

2

Opie

Roberto G. > For Sweden 05/02/2014 at 17:36

0

Carolina.

Crocket Bernet > For Sweden 05/02/2014 at 18:14

1

Sir Clinton Weatherbee, Esq.

Somethingwittyer likes noisy > Meatstick62 05/02/2014 at 19:25

0

I will be disappointed if this doesn't win.

mr_gofast > For Sweden 05/02/2014 at 21:09

0

stickshift sam, derrik diesal...

CCC (formerly CyclistCarCoexist) > For Sweden 05/02/2014 at 22:36

0

Hammy.

wontacceptthis > For Sweden 05/02/2014 at 23:39

0

"Herman Mittlesbaum"

It sounds like it could be a British car, a movie car, or a car guy.

Or like it may explode.

I like it.

Skif6996 > For Sweden 05/03/2014 at 09:10

1

Umm... Jalopy.

KnowsAboutCars > For Sweden 05/03/2014 at 16:15

1

Sir Break-a-Lot

NoahthePorscheGuy > For Sweden 05/03/2014 at 16:18

0

Peter the Beater?

NoahthePorscheGuy > For Sweden 05/03/2014 at 16:22

0

Wait.

Peter LaBeater

But pronounced obnoxiously french.

Pèter LaBèatur

Actually I think it would be

Petér LaBetér

I'm shitty at frnehc

pronouced like:

Peeeetairee LaaahBeeeetaireeee

Your boy, BJR > For Sweden 05/03/2014 at 16:23

0

Let's name him in honor of Pickaway, Ohio's local dentist from 1922-1946: Dr. Gay Hitler .

Or after Dr. Hitler's dad, George Washington Hitler.

NoahthePorscheGuy > NoahthePorscheGuy 05/03/2014 at 16:23

0

it reminds me of a frenchish car kinda.

JCAlan > For Sweden 05/03/2014 at 16:26

0

Dippy the Driver

A friend of mine used to have a Dodge Diplomat which we affectionately named "The Dippy"

Roberto G. > For Sweden 05/03/2014 at 16:27

0

Carolina.

webmonkees > For Sweden 05/03/2014 at 16:27

0

Rowland Emett Omnicar.

Dead_Elvis, Inc. > Deal Killer - Powered by Focus 05/03/2014 at 16:31

0

Yes.

Dead_Elvis, Inc. > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner 05/03/2014 at 16:33

2

polO olO

Dead_Elvis, Inc. > For Sweden 05/03/2014 at 16:35

0

St. Murilee the Saucy

Forgetful > For Sweden 05/03/2014 at 17:07

0

Sir Dan.

Cebu > For Sweden 05/03/2014 at 17:12

0

Jimny.

Ike > For Sweden 05/03/2014 at 21:25

0

he looks like a Geoff

kosmokenny > For Sweden 05/03/2014 at 23:40

0

Wanderlust Fahrvergnügen

pdthedeuce > For Sweden 05/04/2014 at 01:07

0

just looks like a "Rufus" to me ...

Lekker > For Sweden 05/05/2014 at 11:23

0

I personally like Otto as well, it was the name of one of the characters in gone in 60 seconds too so it seems appropriate to me.

NotUnlessRoundIsFunny > For Sweden 05/07/2014 at 03:30

0

Rusty McBreaksalot?