Serious Rant Incoming (Have a Zonda For Your Time)

"SVTyler" (svtyler) 05/25/2014 at 18:05 • Filed to: None

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I'm tired and fucking tired of seeing my idiot brothers mistreating cars the cars my mom (and I) bought them.

First, there's my twin who was given a loaded 2004 Mazda3, a car which has something new wrong with it every time I see it. For unfathomable reasons my brother actively resists addressing every single maintenance issue I've (correctly) identified that car needs over the years, from outer tie rod ends that are looser than Chinese copyright regulations to an air filter that looked like it was used to pan for gold in the Ganges River to engine mounts that looked and felt like they would shear if a fly landed on the valve cover. The transmission kicks like a mule stabbed in the balls during the 1-2 shift (auto btw) but apparently he's not noticed, or doesn't care. If it doesn't render the car completely undriveable it's not a concern to him.

My favorite is when he wore the back brake pads to the bare metal AND KEPT DRIVING THE CAR , and would have continued to do so until the rotors shattered had I not needed to move the car to get my snow tires out from in front of the car. Despite the grinding noise being so loud it drowned out the engine while backing down the driveway and a brake pedal that shook like a nervous Chihuahua being held by Michael J. Fox, my brother hadn't heard or felt a single fucking thing, which of course meant he was right (as he always is) and that I was wrong, which as is his usual petty M.O. warranted shit-talking to my mom ("He doesn't know anything, the car's fine, he's just making a big deal out of nothing") as if I was overreacting and just creating these issues out of thin fucking air. I still keep the padless backing plates prominently displayed on my nightstand in our room as a not-so-subtle reminder to him that he's not the infallible genius he thinks he is.

Half of what prompted this rant is when he drove back to college at IU on Sunday (an hour's drive from home) with no issue, then went to start the car on Tuesday only to have the oil light come on. He shut it off and didn't try again until yesterday, when he found out the car was completely dead: no electric locks, no starter motor, nothing.

First thing I wanted to rule out was an oil issue (even though the light was probably electrical anyways), so I text him and ask if he noticed any knocking/tapping or grinding or whining or oil leaks coming from the engine bay, or if the exhaust had smelled extremely burnt or if it had blue smoke coming out of it. Y'know, very clear and obvious signs of trouble that any person with any brain activity at all would notice. So what does he text back?

"I don't pay attention to those things."

I almost snapped my phone in half.

You may have noticed how I described the Mazda as "given" to him, which isn't entirely accurate. It's not his car, not really. I still consider it the pride and joy of our father, who passed away unexpectedly when we were sixteen years old. After his death me and my brother inherited the Mazda until I bought my Focus a few years later, a decision I now regret since it left him as the sole driver of the car.

My dad was, almost to a fault, an extremely humble man who took pride in exactly four things in life: his three sons, and whatever car he owned at the time. Throughout his life he owned everything from a C3 Corvette (a 1971 I believe) to an MG Midget to a Pontiac TransPort, and babied and cared for each and every one of his cars equally. Even ten years later I can still remember the grin on his face as he drove the Mazda home from the dealership, the smile of a man absolutely content with his place in life in the front seat of a new car and his three sons in the back row. My old man adored that car, which is why I am so militantly proactive in attempting to maintain it, besides the fact it is (or was) a nice car anyways, and these exact kinds of issues my brother ignores are a fucking slap in the face to everything that car meant to my dad.

Ignorance is not a sin if it's not purposeful and combined with a desire to correct one's lack of knowledge (like if he accepts my offers to teach him basic maintenance procedures), but the willful apathy this fucking kid displays towards the car is absolutely infuriating . Working on cars is below him on the high horse this rich town and his wealthy friends so willingly supplied him. And since my brother doesn't have a job he doesn't pay for repairs for the Mazda it's no skin off his teeth if something breaks due to his negligence. Instead it's something for my mom to pay for or for me to (attempt to) fix, so he has no real incentive to maintain the car apart from the minor inconvenience of having to take the campus bus for a few days when something inevitably goes wrong.

Because he's three hours away and I don't know shit about electrical anyways my brother will end up going to a dealership where they'll see he doesn't know shit and do what dealerships do best and rob him blind. That will get passed on to my mom who works for 15 hours a day for not nearly enough money but fear not, Opponauts, it's OK! My brother's the victim in all this and it's the car's fault and it'll all get fixed and we'll pretend like it was an isolated incident and not a recurring and systematic and willful ignorance on my brother's part.

What's funny is that when i was in the market for my own car I almost, almost bought the Mazda from my mom. I could've saved it from its slow, inevitable death by negligence but no, I had to have a manual performance car, despite the fact I didn't know how to drive stick nor have the money to afford a decent car. In my defense, the Mazda has a rebuilt title thanks to three separate near-totaled incidents (the car's a Jeep magnet), but my it is mainly own hubris that I deserved better which will ultimately lead to the car's early demise, which is a very bitter pill to swallow indeed.

Now my other brother is a few years younger than me, but just as stupid as my twin when it comes to cars. As you may recall I bought him an N-Body Cutlass for him to tool around delivering pizzas in, a car that I have yet to be paid back for by my mom, may I add (TL;DR I'm basically the family bank). The Cutlass has the 3100-series V6, an engine notorious for its weak intake manifold gaskets, so before I left for college I told him to look out for two things: leaking oil and low coolant, and to park it if he sees either. So what do I find when I get home? Him backing out of the driveway with a puddle of oil on the garage floor and a quarter-full coolant reservoir under the hood. The oil hasn't made its way into the cooling system yet but it doesn't matter: someone isn't maintaining a car that someone else bought them.

Furthermore, it turns out the ABS and brake warning lights have been on for the past two weeks or so. So what does he do about it? Nothing of course, doesn't even mention it to my mom. Why would he be bothered to make sure the most fucking important system on the whole goddamn car doesn't have something wrong with it. I mean, it's not like he's driving 100 miles per night through densely populated streets and neighborhoods with other people mere feet from the road, fuck it, the brakes are probably fine, it's nbd, guise. He has the same shitty attitude as my twin where I'm apparently the idiot in this situation, despite the fact I printed off a half-dozen articles and technical documents relating to the gaskets and shoved them in his stupid face because he didn't believe what I said to begin with.

The sheer apathy of them both is the most galling out of this whole situation. It makes zero fucking sense to not want to learn more about cars: apart from a house they're the most expensive thing they'll ever own, and unless you lease or trade in before the warranty expires there's work that's going to need to be done to the car and unless you want to get fucked in the ass by a shady dealership (who am I kidding, they won't care enough about their cars to find a decent mechanic) you better bone up.

What's even more irritating is how my mom is on their side for most of this: "Well, they don't know about cars, what do you want them to do?" HOW ABOUT EDUCATE THEMSELVES IN THE SECOND-MOST EXPENSIVE THING THEY WILL EVER PAY MONEY FOR? There's literally thousands of articles and videos on the Internet about anything and everything on any car on the planet and there's absolutely no excuse for anyone to not "know" anything about cars with the advent of modern technology.

We're not talking about rebuilding engines, it's simple shit like reading a dipstick they couldn't care less about, or changing the oil, or learning to listen for engine abnormalities. You don't need an acoustical engineering degree to know when a spark plug finally goes out or when brake rotors get worn, you need two ears and an open mind, the latter of which both of my sibling seem to be lacking.

And of course they talk shit behind my back to my mom about my car, which I'll admit has been less than reliable. Sure, I'm an absolute hypochondriac about the Focus but for good reason: I've put the majority of all the money I've ever made into it and parts are not easy to find, nor are they cheap. Every "little" issue isn't little to me, and that's why my car will live long beyond my brothers's, despite its Hermosillo build quality and rushed engineering.

Preventative maintenance to my brothers may as well be sharia law to Fox News anchors. They can't fucking fathom that every "issue" I've had with my car (apart from my clutch) has been to avert a bigger disaster: cracked thermostat housing, leaky valve cover gasket, IMRC actuator, timing belt, etc, all to avoid damaging my car worse than the actual issue itself has. Oh, the field day they had when my car went away on a flat bed to my mechanic after the oil pressure gauge malfunctioned and the sheer confusion when it returned with a diagnosis of an electrical short ("if it was just a gauge why didn't he drive it there?" BECAUSE YOU FUCKING MORONS I'M NOT GOING TO DRIVE 25 MILES WITH MY OIL PRESSURE IN THE RED BECAUSE IT'S PROBABLY JUST BAD WIRING. ) The fact that they questioned why I fixed the gauge and didn't just leave it broken and save money should tell you more than my ramblings can.

Funnily enough, my twin has an expensive taste for cars thanks to all his wealthy friends and this shitty rich town I can't wait to not live in anymore. And since he's in school to be an attorney, he may one day be able to afford the S-Class or A8 he wants so badly, and I hope that his own ignorance combined with German reliability absolutely fucks him in the ass when it's his own money at stake. It would serve him right for abusing the Mazda. But when that day comes, it won't be his fault, of course. It'll the car's. It's always the car's.

Luckily my brother is leaving to study abroad in a few weeks and my car will be in the shop getting new rear suspension (not messing around with springs), which will give me time to take the Mazda on a shakedown run and see what's all wrong with it and fix whatever issues I'm sure lie beneath the sheetmetal. Plus it will give the Mazda a brief respite from its neglectful new driver, and put it in the hands of someone who loves and cares for it and actually enjoys driving it, if only for a few days.

God, I wish I drank sometimes...

TL;DR:

I live with a bunch of fucking idiots.

*Apologies for typos and semantic errors; rage and a general lack of fucks to give precludes me from editing this train wreck of a post. I have to get this off my chest, and no one in my family will listen to it.

JGrabowMSt > SVTyler 05/25/2014 at 17:31

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I know the feeling. My dad usually takes care of the cars, but he can be quite a bit rough around the edges, to put it nicely. My parents went away, and my twin sister says to me, "my oil light just came on." A full quart of oil later, and its just a WTF, dont you check any of this? None of my siblings or I were raised to pay someone else to work on cars. I have more recently in jobs I couldnt do at home with the tools I have, but Im sure you know it.

I would straight up take the keys. Tough fucking noogies. No job? Get a campus job, you dont need a car on campus for that. Stay at school and study and get good grades. Dont drive back and forth constantly. Keep in mind that I was the only one of my siblings that never had a dorm, and only ever commuted to school. I've held the same job for all but my first semester in college, and do most of the basic work on my car myself when I have the energy.

If they cant afford to take care of the cars theyre given, no cars. Simple as that. Sounds harsh, but hold down the fort. Make your brothers trade cars, and you might be able to get an attitude change as you work on the Mazda a little, but try and get your younger brother to be involved. Most importantly, make him go to the parts store with you. Nothing prepared me more for owning a HEMI than being used to already buying my own parts.

Once your twin gets stranded somewhere, he might start to pay attention to the car. Better in an olds than the mazda. Nothing teaches responsibility better than buying your own car + insurance and keeping it on the road.

AMGtech - now with more recalls! > SVTyler 05/25/2014 at 17:44

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I say let the cars break, don't fix them. Being without cars for a few weeks should teach them a little bit i would hope. As far as the ABS lights on the oldsmobuick, check the 3rd brake light, IIRC bad bulbs can trigger it.

Somethingwittyer likes noisy > SVTyler 05/25/2014 at 18:01

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People ignoring your advice on cars even thought they have no idea what their doing?

Even thought this is a personal rant I feel this should be front paged. BTW your brother sounds like a cunt.

Leadbull > SVTyler 05/25/2014 at 18:22

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Is this something I can hold against Indiana University?

Please say yes.

SVTyler > Leadbull 05/25/2014 at 22:55

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Most definitely (Purdue junior here)

Leadbull > SVTyler 05/25/2014 at 22:57

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You suck, too. (Illinois junior here)

SVTyler > AMGtech - now with more recalls! 05/25/2014 at 23:00

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That's probably what will happen, it just sucks that my mom will be the one to suffer for their negligence. And I'll have to check the bulb, thank you, I had no idea that could be the cause of the warning light.

SVTyler > Leadbull 05/25/2014 at 23:04

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Are we going to have to get a Big 10 battle royale going on in here, or are you going to lose that like you did when you played us in basketball?

AMGtech - now with more recalls! > SVTyler 05/25/2014 at 23:05

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I had the same car years ago, I'm pretty sure I had ABS lights caused by a bulb failure. But my memory could be failing me. Good luck with the whole thing.

SVTyler > AMGtech - now with more recalls! 05/25/2014 at 23:08

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Appreciate it, thanks man.

SVTyler > Somethingwittyer likes noisy 05/25/2014 at 23:14

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Kid's just a product of this town and my family. He's always been told how great he is and only encouraged and applauded for everything he does so his entire worldview is from a position that he can never be wrong, and being given anything he wanted hasn't given him any sense of responsibility. It's funny how twins can turn out so different, I'm almost the exact opposite.

Leadbull > SVTyler 05/25/2014 at 23:16

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Hey, our football team beat yours last year. And our football team SUCKS.

Also, that might be the best gif I've ever seen...

SVTyler > JGrabowMSt 05/25/2014 at 23:43

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I wish my family had your family's attitude, everyone besides me (even my old man) had someone else work on their cars for them. If I could make my brothers pay for those cars I would, believe me; they just have no stake in either of their cars, and don't want to because they see how much crap I go through with my Focus. I'd love to take the keys as well and make them both walk for a few weeks but that's all in a perfect world...

JGrabowMSt > SVTyler 05/26/2014 at 00:07

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Well, I feel you. It's all touch and go. In your case, I would save the fixes for birthdays/holidays. A video game (or comparable tangible item that isn't quite productivity inducing) or a car part/fix. Just create a new standard of expectations. I had to do this with my girlfriend about a few things, and she got pretty pissed, but understands it, and now isn't so crabby.

You're only as good as you reciprocate, or something along those lines. You're doing great, as a brother and a son in your family. Don't forget that part of it. It means more than a bunch of words put together.