M5s, Ranked

"Brian Silvestro" (BrianSilvestro)
04/26/2014 at 15:25 • Filed to: None

100

1. E34

2. E28

3. E60

4. F10

5. E39

DISCUSSION (100)

Brian Silvestro > Brian Silvestro
04/26/2014 at 15:25

Kinja'd!!!

Vince-The Roadside Mechanic > Brian Silvestro
04/26/2014 at 15:27

Any rhyme or reason to this ranking?

twinturbobmw > Brian Silvestro
04/26/2014 at 15:27

1. E28

2. E39

3. E34

4. E60

5. F10

Brian Silvestro > Vince-The Roadside Mechanic
04/26/2014 at 15:28

Personal preferences

Manuél Ferrari > Brian Silvestro
04/26/2014 at 15:28

This is going to rustle some jimmies

Goshen, formerly Darkcode > Brian Silvestro
04/26/2014 at 15:28

E39 in last place will piss many people off.

Brian Silvestro > twinturbobmw
04/26/2014 at 15:29

Kinja'd!!!

CAcoalminer > Brian Silvestro
04/26/2014 at 15:29

No No No No No No!

A car with an engine like this can not be last!

Kinja'd!!!

Brian Silvestro > Manuél Ferrari
04/26/2014 at 15:29

This is my intention.

Vince-The Roadside Mechanic > Brian Silvestro
04/26/2014 at 15:29

So this is all fucking hog wash thanks I will be sure to call my hogs in for a bathing.

Brian Silvestro > Goshen, formerly Darkcode
04/26/2014 at 15:29

I'm fully aware. I just want to see what people have to say about that.

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > Brian Silvestro
04/26/2014 at 15:29

M5s Ranked Properly:

E34

E28

E39

E60

99. F10

Brian Silvestro > CAcoalminer
04/26/2014 at 15:30

Kinja'd!!!

Brian Silvestro > Logansteno: Bought a VW?
04/26/2014 at 15:30

Kinja'd!!!

CAcoalminer > Brian Silvestro
04/26/2014 at 15:31

1. E39

2. E60

3. E28

4. E34

5. F10

Blondude > Brian Silvestro
04/26/2014 at 15:31

1. E28

2. E39

3. E60

4. E34

5. F10

Brian Silvestro > CAcoalminer
04/26/2014 at 15:32

This is all wrong. At least the E60 is high up there. Love that car.

CAcoalminer > Brian Silvestro
04/26/2014 at 15:43

I can't deny the E60 is amazing.

Kinja'd!!!

Brian Silvestro > CAcoalminer
04/26/2014 at 15:45

....my list is in the original post, did you not see it?

If I could rank the E60 2nd along with the E28 I would, so damn cool.

CAcoalminer > Blondude
04/26/2014 at 15:45

Our lists are pretty similar.

CAcoalminer > Brian Silvestro
04/26/2014 at 15:49

Haha. Nope. I was so upset with your list that I took to the comments section before looking who posted it.

KnowsAboutCars > Brian Silvestro
04/26/2014 at 15:49

5. F10

FTFY

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Brian Silvestro
04/26/2014 at 15:49

So, where would you actually rank it, if not trolling...?

Brian Silvestro > CAcoalminer
04/26/2014 at 15:50

I understand. It's something that I've done many times before.

Brian Silvestro > KnowsAboutCars
04/26/2014 at 15:51

Kinja'd!!!

Brian Silvestro > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
04/26/2014 at 15:51

PATRICK JUST SHARED IT TO JALOPNIK FUCK

Brian Silvestro > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
04/26/2014 at 15:52

It's my personal preference.

Blondude > Brian Silvestro
04/26/2014 at 15:53

You've been FP'd. Brace yourself.

Brian Silvestro > Blondude
04/26/2014 at 15:54

Kinja'd!!!

YSI-what can brown do for you > Brian Silvestro
04/26/2014 at 15:55

E60, E39, E60, E60, E60

Kuelderrek > Blondude
04/26/2014 at 15:55

this list seems more like it

Brian Silvestro > YSI-what can brown do for you
04/26/2014 at 15:56

This is a list I can also get behind.

Erio Qerfozi > CAcoalminer
04/26/2014 at 15:56

the problem is that this is the E61

osmosis1234 > Brian Silvestro
04/26/2014 at 15:57

The E34..is my favouite of the BMW 5 Series Lineage.

I will take any of them..NOT just an M5

It's a fine car..Modern and classic at the same time.

It needs to be in Champagne silver Like Bruce Willis 6 Series on the TV show moolighting was.

Now THAT's a car to drool over!!!!!!!!!!

All time classic car.

Brian Silvestro > osmosis1234
04/26/2014 at 15:57

THANK YOU

It's just amazing.

Leo Tauer > Brian Silvestro
04/26/2014 at 15:57

1. E28

2. E34

3. E39

4. E60

5. F10

nmalinoski > Brian Silvestro
04/26/2014 at 15:57

Kinja'd!!!

The only one that matters.

YSI-what can brown do for you > Brian Silvestro
04/26/2014 at 16:00

Just so you know, I agree with not putting the F10 in last. It is actually a really good car, despite the fake engine noises.

Brian Silvestro > YSI-what can brown do for you
04/26/2014 at 16:00

People get too hung up on that. It's got like 600 hp, what's not to like!

lolwaffles69rofl > Brian Silvestro
04/26/2014 at 16:01

Is there a report button for slander like this?

CAcoalminer > Erio Qerfozi
04/26/2014 at 16:01

You're right. Problem of posting faster than thinking.

Brian Silvestro > lolwaffles69rofl
04/26/2014 at 16:01

Saw that coming

TheMonkeySeat > Blondude
04/26/2014 at 16:02

spot on

SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) > Brian Silvestro
04/26/2014 at 16:02

1. E28

2. E39

3. E60

4. E34

DNF. F10

But to be fair, they're all great.

Kinja'd!!!

TheMonkeySeat > Brian Silvestro
04/26/2014 at 16:02

the e34 is gorgeous but it is not the best unfortunetly

Brian Silvestro > SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O)
04/26/2014 at 16:03

Hahaha can't argue with greatness.

Jah > Brian Silvestro
04/26/2014 at 16:04

e39

F10

E34

E28

E60 - sure the engine is awesome but that car is ugly as sin. The engine is make-up on a pig for all im concerned. Drop it in an e39 then we can talk

Hooneriphic > Brian Silvestro
04/26/2014 at 16:04

So close. However E28>E34.

The World of Vee > Brian Silvestro
04/26/2014 at 16:05

As of my posting there are 39 replies. As in YOU'RE WRONG E39 IS BEST M5 EVER MADE.

Thanks for listening Brian.

His Stigness > Brian Silvestro
04/26/2014 at 16:05

I don't care about the rest of the list, but #1 should read "E46 M3" for sure, screw the M5. If you want a hot rod sedan you get an AMG, period.

Brian Silvestro > The World of Vee
04/26/2014 at 16:06

No problem, I'm always here to hear people out.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Brian Silvestro
04/26/2014 at 16:06

And he's also trolling. Clickbait, you has it!

Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2 > Brian Silvestro
04/26/2014 at 16:06

(sorry, I wanted to post this)

Crest > Brian Silvestro
04/26/2014 at 16:07

Pictures

Brian Silvestro > His Stigness
04/26/2014 at 16:07

Kinja'd!!!

1337HPMustang > Brian Silvestro
04/26/2014 at 16:07

that's right buttmunch, now you'll pay for putting the E39 so far down the list! Front page will not be merciful.

Brian Silvestro > Crest
04/26/2014 at 16:09

Kinja'd!!!

Happy?

Brian Silvestro > 1337HPMustang
04/26/2014 at 16:10

THERE IS NO GOD

hodor > Brian Silvestro
04/26/2014 at 16:11

1. F10, E60, E39, E34, E28

Yes, I'm a BMW //M5 fan.

Kate's Dirty Sister > Brian Silvestro
04/26/2014 at 16:11

ranking m5's is very simple because they just keep getting better.

1. F10

2. E60

3. E39

4. E34

5. E28

Brian Silvestro > hodor
04/26/2014 at 16:12

All this comment right here.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Brian Silvestro
04/26/2014 at 16:12

Methinks you should watch this again (and perhaps also stop smoking crack):

Captain_Spadaro > Brian Silvestro
04/26/2014 at 16:12

>E39 in last
You, sir, are a brave man. That said, I do not agree.

Brian Silvestro > Kate's Dirty Sister
04/26/2014 at 16:12

Interesting point. I..... disagree.

Crest > Brian Silvestro
04/26/2014 at 16:14

Well that's not all of them and I don't see any identification tags

Brian Silvestro > Crest
04/26/2014 at 16:17

Kinja'd!!!

I don't know what you mean by identification tags.

1337HPMustang > twinturbobmw
04/26/2014 at 16:17

Kinja'd!!!

llamaguy > Brian Silvestro
04/26/2014 at 16:19

I halfway expected the list to be something like this: "1. M5 2. M5 3. M5 4. M3 5. 1M"

His Stigness > Brian Silvestro
04/26/2014 at 16:19

Kinja'd!!!

Brian Silvestro > llamaguy
04/26/2014 at 16:19

Me too

Brian Silvestro > His Stigness
04/26/2014 at 16:20

Kinja'd!!!

Crest > Brian Silvestro
04/26/2014 at 16:21

I mean I see the pictures but i can't tell which is an E60 and an F10 so write the names under the pictures

Chris Clarke > Brian Silvestro
04/26/2014 at 16:21

Kinja'd!!!

emanresu > Brian Silvestro
04/26/2014 at 16:21

1. E34

2. E39

3. E60

4. F10

5. E28

Really they're all awesome. All I'm certain of is that E34 is #1 and E28 is #5

Brian Silvestro > Crest
04/26/2014 at 16:22

Ohhhhh

first on is an F10, second one is an E60, third one is an E28, fourth one is an E39, and the last on is an E34.

Brian Silvestro > Chris Clarke
04/26/2014 at 16:22

Kinja'd!!!

Brian Silvestro > emanresu
04/26/2014 at 16:23

Kinja'd!!!

PardonMyFlemish16 > Brian Silvestro
04/26/2014 at 16:24

Is this like some kind of puzzle where we have to put it in the right order? Lol @ the E39 being worse than any other M5, wow what a joke.

Joshua Auger > twinturbobmw
04/26/2014 at 16:27

Perfect.

lolwaffles69rofl > Brian Silvestro
04/26/2014 at 16:27

But honestly, how do you justify a bloated V10 over one of, if not the finest rear-drive chassis of all time? Or a hastily thrown together car with an engine thrown in with supercar reliability? Or an even bloated turbo V8 with artificial engine sound and Drive-By-Wire? Or was this post a survey to see just how massive the majority of people who prefer the E39 is?

Brian Silvestro > lolwaffles69rofl
04/26/2014 at 16:28

I...it's just my personal preference. I didn't think it was going to be shared to Jalopnik.

Kinja'd!!!

ly2v8-Brian > Brian Silvestro
04/26/2014 at 16:30

Kinja'd!!!

Yossarian > Brian Silvestro
04/26/2014 at 16:33

Wrong.

1. E60

2. F10

3. E28

4. E39

5. E34

ly2v8-Brian > Vince-The Roadside Mechanic
04/26/2014 at 16:33

It just got real

Forgetful > Brian Silvestro
04/26/2014 at 16:33

Kinja'd!!!

Brian Silvestro > Yossarian
04/26/2014 at 16:33

Well at least you put the E60 at the top. Dat V10.

ly2v8-Brian > Brian Silvestro
04/26/2014 at 16:34

Kinja'd!!!

Brian Silvestro > Forgetful
04/26/2014 at 16:34

Kinja'd!!!

Brian Silvestro > ly2v8-Brian
04/26/2014 at 16:35

Kinja'd!!!

blue-haired_lawyer > Brian Silvestro
04/26/2014 at 16:36

What's not to like? Fake engine noises.

Brian Silvestro > blue-haired_lawyer
04/26/2014 at 16:36

Kinja'd!!!

s38junkie > Brian Silvestro
04/26/2014 at 16:40

I can't comment on the F10 because I haven't driven one... but ranking the E34 M5 makes me wonder if you actually drove one for any length of time. Fast and competent? Check. Powered by the legendary S38? Check. The problem is the E34 M5 is god awful boring to drive unless you're hooning it at 10/10ths. And I'm talking about the euro spec 3.8L with the 6 speed. The NA version is milk toast in comparison and should be ranked separately in position '6'. Seriously, go back and spend a few days with one and tell me you're not falling asleep at the wheel.

As for the rest, it's really a matter of personal preference. I'm partial to the E28 M5s having owned a couple so I won't argue too much with it's near the top ranking, but the E39 makes a pretty solid case for itself if you can get past the weight. The thing is, the E28 is just so darn tossable, it feels like an E30 M3 with two extra doors. Yes, it's old and creaky but none of it matters when you have rear pointing sideways and the S38 is shrieking like the thoroughbred race motor that it is. I will say that the torque, power, and sheer brutalness of the E39 are addictive. I have no idea how this got last place.

Especially in light of the fact that the E60 is a frustrating car because it's at odds with its 64 bit personality. The V10 is a masterpiece, but to fully enjoy it I have activate full on sport mode which requires pressing a button. And then there's more buttons for the suspension, the steering, and the SMG (which is how they designed this car, the manual was an after thought).... I trust Motorsport engineers because they know best. In the E60 I'm not sure who to trust.

And if anyone is selling a euro E28 M5 - seriously, stop laughing - please contact me. I have cash in hand.

Brian Silvestro > s38junkie
04/26/2014 at 16:41

I thought long and hard about putting the E28 in first, I regret not doing that. They're so hard to come by nowadays.

Brian Silvestro > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
04/26/2014 at 16:42

I don't know, crack is really good.

ly2v8-Brian > Brian Silvestro
04/26/2014 at 16:44

Kinja'd!!!