You think your 07 Sebring is a bad first car?

Kinja'd!!! "yamahog" (yamahog)
04/20/2014 at 14:07 • Filed to: None

Kinja'd!!!1 Kinja'd!!! 7

This was my first car. It was free, handed down from my sweet Nana, and I UNIRONICALLY LOVED IT.

95 Mercury Mystique.

Six cylinders of fury. That factory desert rose paint.

The awful slipping auto transmission.

The sweet 5x7 rear speakers and walmart receiver my dad installed after he blew the stock ones.

My Slayer sticker, which my sorority roommate discovered someone had mentioned in a Craigslist "missed connections" post.

It was 12 years old when I got her and she survived my teenage idiocy on expressways from New York to Michigan, my college idiocy (exhibit A seen below), and everything up until my cousin finally killed it in Staten Island last year. RIP PINK NIGHTMARE, THEY DON'T MAKE EM LIKE THIS ANYMORE. I'll never forget you, and I'll never stop being grateful that my grandparents had the means and generosity to hand me the keys to my first beautiful chariot. I may finally be in the market for a brand new piece of V8 American muscle in the 2015 model year, but years of paying my dues (and my loans) will only make me appreciate owning a car younger than 10 years old for the first time in my life even more.

Kinja'd!!!

TL;DR: Suck it up kiddos, or I'll sell the carcass of the Pink Nightmare to your parents for your first car.


DISCUSSION (7)


Kinja'd!!! Your boy, BJR > yamahog
04/20/2014 at 14:19

Kinja'd!!!1

Ha! My father's first new car was a '95 Contour V6 5-speed. I still remember going to the dealership to buy it. "Winter frost" was the color, a metallic mint green lol


Kinja'd!!! Logansteno: Bought a VW? > yamahog
04/20/2014 at 14:21

Kinja'd!!!1

Six cylinders of fury... The awful slipping auto transmission

Those two lines describe my van rather well. 200 mild mannered horses and a terrible 4 speed auto with shifting issues!


Kinja'd!!! Bandit > yamahog
04/20/2014 at 14:55

Kinja'd!!!2

Just because pink worked on cars in the 50s does not mean it would work well in the 90s...


Kinja'd!!! yamahog > Bandit
04/20/2014 at 14:57

Kinja'd!!!0

You're just a hater!! /s


Kinja'd!!! Bandit > yamahog
04/20/2014 at 15:01

Kinja'd!!!0

Guilty, cool wheels though.


Kinja'd!!! Slave2anMG > yamahog
04/20/2014 at 17:46

Kinja'd!!!1

The six cylinder Contours/Mystiques were snappy cars, pretty quick. I had one for 4 years as a company car. Never ate the transmission but the starter puke on the guy who bought it for his daughter...


Kinja'd!!! Redd, the RX-7 that could > yamahog
04/21/2014 at 00:59

Kinja'd!!!0

My first car, and current car is a '97 GS (2.oL four-banger) and it's actually a great little car, it refuses to die.