Idiot Rant: Quit Calling Your DCT a Manual. It's oxygeartronic.

"JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7" (jayzayeighty) 04/16/2014 at 19:53 • Filed to: None

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"It has clutches!" "It is a manual that is automated!" "It doesn't shift gears for me, it shifts gears with me!" (Also see: "Your car is archaic!" "Do you use a typewriter?") All things I have seen looking at forums for years. If it's automated, it's auto-fucking-matic. And it's not auto-fucking-magic. It's matic. With a "t." Shifting your damn gears when you want it to. Some manufacturer should call their DCT "oxygeartronic." And you're not fucking Tsuchiya or Prost because your steering wheel has tabs on it. Oh, I see: you aren't a baby because you put your own pacifier in. Oh, you have to close the door to your automatic dishwasher so it's like hand washing? Fuck you and fuck your fancy tranny. Just fuck it all. Fuck manual transmissions, too. They're too needy like a puppy. And fuck me for being a dinosaur. You better check yourself before you wreck yourself. Fuck.

(Inevitably, someone will not take this joke. Probably most people.)

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 04/16/2014 at 19:56

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PS9 > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 04/16/2014 at 20:00

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1) Auto: Can choose it's own gears.
2) Manual: You have to choose the gears.

Is your transmission capable of #1? Then it's an auto. If it's not, then Manual. Simple as that.

Scary__goongala! > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 04/16/2014 at 20:01

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Scary__goongala! > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 04/16/2014 at 20:03

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AthomSfere > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 04/16/2014 at 20:04

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fuck your fancy tranny.

Whoa there buddy, just what kind of a site do you take this for? Were all the references to "brown turbo diesels with a stick" a little too ambiguous there?

BadMotorScooter > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 04/16/2014 at 20:13

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It's a manumatic...

Manuél Ferrari > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 04/16/2014 at 20:23

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I think "flappy paddles" should become the industry standard term for robotized manuals. Because funny.

Mbdurham > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 04/16/2014 at 20:26

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whatever you want to call it I love mine

beardsbynelly - Rikerbeard > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 04/16/2014 at 20:40

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JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 > Mbdurham 04/16/2014 at 21:30

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Almost completely joking here, man. BMW's dual clutch is a thing of beauty. Definitely not my cup of tea (which I pour myself), but a good cup of tea all the same. This, from someone who doesn't even like tea.

JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 > Manuél Ferrari 04/16/2014 at 21:33

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Agreed! I love how so many people have adopted "flappy paddles" trying to make themselves sound cool. "Dude, my car has these flappy paddles and the dealership person said they are BABE MAGNETS."

JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 > BadMotorScooter 04/16/2014 at 21:34

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I prefer oxygeartronic, but whatever floats your boat. A PRNDL is, too, if you can shift it from L to 2 to D3 to D, though it's a slushbox...

Mbdurham > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 04/16/2014 at 21:36

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I knew you were joking. I laughed as I have seen this debate as well. I agree its not a manual. Manual to me means you HAVE to shift yourself. However you are correct it is a thing of beauty. It is almost unbelievable the feeling of how fast it shifts especially when shifting with the paddles. I realy don't care what anyone wants to call it lol

JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 > AthomSfere 04/16/2014 at 21:37

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Haha. Dammit, this isn't fancytrannyforums.com? All these years on Oppo and my double life becomes uncovered like this...

JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 > PS9 04/16/2014 at 21:38

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This guy knows what I'm talking about! 4/5, needs more fucks.

JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 > Mbdurham 04/16/2014 at 21:49

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Quite honestly, I wouldn't mind having a DCT for a year or two. I can't afford one, sure — but if I were to have a car for the rest of my life, it would have to provide the intimacy of engaging the clutch, finding that sweet spot and quickly throwing the shifter into the right gate and feeling the notches, letting off on the third pedal, and depressing the gas pedal again and having the satisfaction of going full throttle all over again. Being able to enjoy that action many times on a daily basis, whether in traffic, in the twisties, or on an open highway, is what makes a drive for me. Everyone has a different opinion, and obviously what makes something enjoyable for me isn't going to match the next guy's reasoning. Despite all of that ass-talking, though, I would enjoy the hell out of your DCT and I can understand completely why that might be your preference.

AthomSfere > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 04/16/2014 at 21:55

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LOL, well now that we know...

Mbdurham > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 04/16/2014 at 22:06

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I do love manuals heck my first car (1986 CRX Si) and I believe next 10 or so after - Civic Si, Prelude Si, Integra GS-R, Talon TSI, Mustang GT, Saleen SSC, Pontiac Firehawk, Jeep Wrangler, Porsche 928, E36 M3, and most importantly a Porsche RS America which I never should have sold lol - were all manuals. I could have gone that route with this one as manual was an option but the DCT just made more sense for me and fits this car better and is quicker as well. About to buy another wrangler as well and it will be manual!

JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 > Mbdurham 04/16/2014 at 22:13

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It would be a massive understatement to say you have awesome taste in cars. I totally see where you're coming from on the M3, and if I were to get one I would seriously consider the DCT. It really fits the car, and is near impossible to criticize. Wranglers are fantastic cars also, especially with a manual. It must be amazing to have owned an RS America, though!

Mbdurham > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 04/16/2014 at 22:26

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Thank you very much cars have always been my weakness obviously. My current car is an f10M5 CP not M3 (I almost bought a manual E92M3 instead though) but went f10 550 msport (auto) instead and regretted it so traded for the M5 18 months later. Yes the RS was amazing not a good DD though. They are now selling for twice what I paid for it.

Manuél Ferrari > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 04/16/2014 at 22:50

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Haha I always thought flappy paddles was a sarcastic term cause Top Gear makes fun of cars with flappy paddles. And "flappy" kind of associates with limp, which is not a term that guys want associated with them, haha.

I like making fun of my robotized manual cars by saying they have flappy paddles, lol.

Manuél Ferrari > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 04/16/2014 at 22:54

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And it's funny cause 80% of the girls I meet have no idea how a flappy paddle transmission works. I try to explain it to no avail. When I tell them it's like a stick except a computer actuates the clutch instead of your foot their minds are blown.

I keep trying to get my sister to shift using paddles. She freaks out and goes to auto mode. The paddles scare her more than a stick for some reason.

JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 > Manuél Ferrari 04/16/2014 at 22:58

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If I'm honest, I found the paddles on my dad's Automiatic (slushbox NC) to be imposing at first as well. They are steering wheel-mounted and are 4 paddles. What car(s) do you have automated manual in?

Manuél Ferrari > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 04/16/2014 at 23:21

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I have an E46 M3 with SMG and E90 with DCT.

But the 911 is 6MT so I still have my Jalop card :)

Satoshi "Zipang" Katsura > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 04/17/2014 at 04:52

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JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 > Manuél Ferrari 04/17/2014 at 07:45

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Do you ever get up at night and just stare at your garage? Haha that's pretty awesome. The 911 is the SC, right?

crowmolly > PS9 04/17/2014 at 14:37

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I have an automatic with a manual valve body. Your move.

Manuél Ferrari > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 04/17/2014 at 14:58

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There have been times when I'm having a bad day and I go hang out in the garage and it makes me feel better :)

The funny thing is that it have 3 cars and my dad has way more than that, yet I rarely have all 3 in my garage because he's always borrowing one. His modern cars are fancier than mine and the rest are classics and not great as DDs. He loves borrowing my cars to DD cause they are fast and reliable but don't stand out where he live. He lives in a beach town where cars like the Panamera, Bentley or Tesla Model S are more common than Camrys. So an M3 or 911 doesn't stand out one bit.

My 911 is a 997.2 C2 6MT. My dad has the SC - a 1982 911SC in light blue with tan interior. My car feels like his car's son. Except my car is way bigger, lol.

PS9 > crowmolly 04/17/2014 at 15:09

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Manual Valve Body = Removing an automatic transmissions ability to choose it's own gears = 1) no longer applies to your transmission = Manual. You have a manual.

JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 > Satoshi "Zipang" Katsura 04/17/2014 at 21:33

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I greatly enjoy the regret.