"For Sweden" (rallybeetle)
04/14/2014 at 12:58 • Filed to: B-Body
10
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"For Sweden" (rallybeetle)
04/14/2014 at 12:58 • Filed to: B-Body | 10
| 8 |
If you're current in the General Motors body-on-frame scene, then you understand the risks of running into a Basic B while out cruising with your Bad B's. If not, then sit down while I take pity and enact the labor required to educate you.
First, we must describe the phenomenon of the Basic B's. First, no B was born Basic. Basic B's rolled of the exact same assembly lines as Bad B's, but through a life of giving their trunks to any energy drink and suspension part sticker that would provide the time of day, these B's became painfully Basic.
The Basic B is defined by a series of cringing anecdotes. The Basic B wears gold rims without a complimentary paint color. The Basic B wears a police-car bull bar that flexes under the slightest pressure. The Basic B rides on 30+ inch rims without adjusting its rear-end gearing to maintain a usable final drive ratio. The Basic B wears an Impala SS badge on white paint. The Basic B has a stereo head unit with multiple animation modes. The Basic B tries to pass off chipping paint as patina, and considers exposed tie-down straps a fashion statement.
Basic B's dress in costumes, not liveries. They think whitewall tires match their square bodies. The Basic B has an aftermarket tachometer that lights up at 5000 RPM. The Basic B talks about fitting a 4'x8' sheet of plywood in the back, but has never actually put one back there.
A basic B wears woodgrain vinyl with colors other than white or pale blue. A Basic B has never pulled a trailer. A Basic B wears a fake Rolls-Royce grille. A Basic B has never replaced a broken-off hood ornament.
But do not despair! With a little effort, you can live a life surrounded by Bad B's. A Bad B may not have the newest paint, but it's always shining fresh and confident. A Bad B knows its rims are classic, not dated.
A Bad B knows a limited budget doesn't mean limited style, knowing that hard work always shines through.
A Bad B ignores Basic labels like Mom's Car, Old Man's Car, and Malaise.
The Bad B understand the power of subtlety and appreciates a good set of steelies.
But most importantly, a Bad B understands how lucky it is to have been born a B, and never tries to be anything else. Now don't misunderstand, a Bad B knows the importance of self-improvement, whether in the form of some suspension upgrades, some styling new tires, or a good wash-and-wax, but a Bad B will always do what it takes to be an iconic B, not a Basic imitation of some other fad.
So don't just sit there, go find some Bad B's and leave those Basic B's to rust.
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Brian Silvestro
> For Sweden
04/14/2014 at 13:01 |
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This is just amazing.
505Turbeaux
> For Sweden
04/14/2014 at 13:04 |
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ditto, amazing
RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
> For Sweden
04/14/2014 at 13:04 |
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Fake wood Roadmaster + chrome ring smoothies. Yessss.
banjo cat ghost of oppo past
> For Sweden
04/14/2014 at 13:12 |
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Found my bottom b.
McMike
> For Sweden
04/14/2014 at 14:01 |
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I believe the B you'll find featured in tomorrow's CarDomaining is a good B
deekster_caddy
> For Sweden
04/14/2014 at 22:17 |
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Love my Bad B!
More pics: http://www.flickr.com/photos/6509315…
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For Sweden
> deekster_caddy
04/14/2014 at 22:36 |
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That is an awesome B
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deekster_caddy
> For Sweden
04/15/2014 at 09:29 |
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Thanks! My grandparents bought it new. Somehow it found it's way to me and I've been able to hang on to it all these years. Going through the body bit by bit and trying to get rid of that cancer...