What is your favorite ugly car?

"AMC/Renauledge" (n2skylark) 04/07/2014 at 15:37 • Filed to: Packard

0

30

We Jalops love to drool over our Lancias, Alfas, and Miatas for sure. We talk about how sexy the new F-Type Jag is. How the Viper was designed to look like a naked woman. How every Aston since ever has ruined ALL the pants!!! We look longingly and lustfully at them. They make us pine and yearn for their fluid anatomical curves, or their clean and crisp edges, or even their aggressive grilles, scoops, and bulges. Pretty cars are easy to love, easy to appreciate, and easy to justify.

Ugly cars are not. It takes a special kind of enthusiast to appreciate a badly-porportioned, garish, or afterthought-on-the-cheap piece of design and find the charm, the merit, the character, and the lovable oddness there. The kind of enthusiast that has a mangy old one-eyed arthritic dog at home that he or she can't help but love all the more because of the poor thing's issues, perhaps.

Now, when I talk about ugly, I'm not talking about cars like the Renault Avantime, Saab 96, or Land Rover Series II that have quirks about them, but are purpose-designed in a form-follows-function kind of way. I'm not talking about a vehicle that Sir Francis Bacon's quote, "There is no excellent beauty that hath not some strangeness in the proportion," might apply to.

I'm talking about cars like the 1958 Packards, which are my favorite ugly cars. Just look at them. Quad headlights were all the rage starting in 1957, so Duncan McRae, with no budget, grafted these bulbous pods on the narrow fenders of the '58 Studebakers and Packards, except for the Hawks. To further distinguish the once-proud, upscale Packards from their low-line Studebaker brethren, McRae went further and applied a low, "bottom-feeder" recessed crosshatch grille with fiberglass lower fender caps, to the nose of the aging Studebaker body. A floating front bumper with Dagmar guards gave the icthyne face a fang effect, almost like the automotive equivalent of a pilot fish. Especially once that dummy hood-mounted air scoop (President-based Packards lost the standard supercharger they'd had in '57 to the new Hawk) was taken into account.

Gone was Packard's characteristic "Ox-yoke grille." On the sporty Hawk models, the effect was even lower, more dramatic, and more bottom-feeder/fangy. The entire grille surround on Hawk models was cheap-to-make fiberglass. At least its hood scoop actually fed a standard supercharged 289 V8.

Around back, the 1956-57 Clipper "banana" taillights came back for a third outing, but this time, they finished off what could only be described as a tack-on one-upmanship approach. A second set of tailfins was simply welded on top of the existing set, creating 4 fins at the rear. Two vertical, and one canted to either side. Small, bullet-shaped reflectors hid in the open spaces between the upper and lower fins, with chrome stanchions connecting them to the upper fins' inner peaks. And the rear bumpers didn't match at all to the fronts.

On hardtops, you could see just ahead of the C-pillar where the weld seam was for the second set of fins. It was covered by a body-colored piece of filler trim. And on the insides of the fins, just above the deck lids, you could see yet another filler strip covering the welds. The check-mark style two-toning was interrupted just ahead of the taillights by another filler strip to cover a seam. And the two-toning only carried forward as far as the back of the bulging headlight pods. Just the lower chrome trim spear caressed the headlight pods. This only accentuated the tacked-on look at the front.

Loewy-bodied Hawks didn't have the quad headlights, or quad fins. They had other awkward tack-on features all their own, though. External door-mounted leather pads that keyed to the interior color, for instance. Apparently, they were there to give "the man who owns one" the perfect platform from which to get a "trucker tan." Unfortunately, over time, they'd also get exposed to foul weather and sun, and they'd split, crack, and fade.

Out back, the Packard Hawks added another piece of trendy, tacked-on fiberglass: a de rigeur "toilet seat" spare tire decklid impression that came standard on contemporary Imperials, as well.

There was nothing pretty, nothing elegant, nothing graceful or luxurious-looking about the 1958 Packard line. In all 4 body styles - sedan, hardtop, wagon, and Hawk - Studebaker rushed the trim changes necessary to turn their aging volume cars into luxury Packards to market. They're garish, odd, obscure cars that, to this day, aren't the most welcome sight at Packard club meetings.

They're really just retrimmed Studebakers. They're an ignominious end to a proud American luxury marque. As a HUGE Packard fan, I should hate them. And yet, strangely enough, I love them all. There's a scrappy fight for survival in these cars. There's a "nothing to lose" creativity displayed in them. And if I ever won the lottery, I'd collect all 4.

So, if you made it this far, I congratulate you. Why don't you tell me about your favorite ugly car in the comments below. Feel free to include what you think is ugly about it, and why you love it anyway.

BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion > AMC/Renauledge 04/07/2014 at 15:39

1

Malaise era Muscle Cars... I honestly find nothing wrong with the low slung styling and weird fascias of some of the "muscle" cars offered throughout the 70's.

Fed(oo=[][]=oo)uken > AMC/Renauledge 04/07/2014 at 15:44

3

Shut up, it's an amazing (fugly) car!

KnowsAboutCars > AMC/Renauledge 04/07/2014 at 15:49

3

Tucker, very innovative car with lots of groundbreaking features but ugly as sin.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > AMC/Renauledge 04/07/2014 at 15:51

2

The Rolls-Royce Silver Wraith by Vignale. Mis-proportioned, yet somehow still cool and majestic aand odd all at the same time. Like a unicorn. Or not.

duurtlang > AMC/Renauledge 04/07/2014 at 15:53

4

Citroën Ami 6 berline. It's hideous yet beautiful at the same time.

AMC/Renauledge > duurtlang 04/07/2014 at 15:54

0

I think this is one of the ugliest cars ever made. And yet, I still really like it. It's almost audacious.

AMC/Renauledge > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 04/07/2014 at 15:55

1

Absolultely. And check out that ride height. It's terrible in so many ways, yet still elegant and special somehow.

AMC/Renauledge > KnowsAboutCars 04/07/2014 at 15:56

0

I actually think the Tucker's styling is more Sir Francis Bacon's definition of beautiful. It's odd, certainly. But there's a purposeful elegance to it. An aircraft-inspired clean-ness that makes it not-ugly. But that's me.

jkm7680 > AMC/Renauledge 04/07/2014 at 15:58

3

Do I actually like it? No.

Is it Manual? Yes

Does that make me appreciate it more? Yes

AMC/Renauledge > Fed(oo=[][]=oo)uken 04/07/2014 at 15:59

0

I knew someone would post the Aztek. This thing was designed to be ugly under the assumption that people my age would think it was cool and use it during our eXtreme ironing competitions or whatever. Active lifestyles and all that. To be honest, I still hate this thing. More on ideological grounds than anything.

Sn210 > AMC/Renauledge 04/07/2014 at 16:00

0

none of these cars are real lookers...

AMC/Renauledge > BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion 04/07/2014 at 16:01

0

Like this?

AMC/Renauledge > jkm7680 04/07/2014 at 16:02

2

I LOVE the Multipla. It's just so crazy.

AMC/Renauledge > Sn210 04/07/2014 at 16:03

0

I wouldn't call any of them ugly, either.

BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion > AMC/Renauledge 04/07/2014 at 16:15

2

Yup, pretty much. Or one of these

ihm96 > AMC/Renauledge 04/07/2014 at 16:15

0

Im not sure most people would call this ugly. Its just a different era of auto design thats too vintage for most people to remember. They all have redeeming traits and futuristic designs, and most, even non enthusiasts, would consider them cool and unique. When I think ugly I think 80s and 90s malaise era shit with no real redeeming visual qualities

AMC/Renauledge > ihm96 04/07/2014 at 16:20

0

Yeah, everyone was garish in the '50s. I realize that. Especially in 1958. The way S-P went about it, though, was very low-rent because they didn't have money to change much sheetmetal. For the Packard models, they tacked on a bunch of ill-fitting fiberglass and doubled the fin count. It was all very hasty.

I'm not calling the styling conventions of the day, like fins, Dagmars, reverse-angle C-pillars, two-tone, air scoops, and quad headlights ugly. I'm saying that the way it all came together on the '58 Packard was ugly. But I love it.

Jayhawk Jake > AMC/Renauledge 04/07/2014 at 16:37

3

The Edsel. I don't think pictures do it justice at all, I've seen 3 or 4 of them in person and they are gorgeous

JR1 > AMC/Renauledge 04/07/2014 at 17:24

1

Well considering I am now trying to restore one I have kinda fallen in love with the design of the 1958-1960 Lincoln. They are the forgotten era of the Lincoln brand and that makes the car a rarity and an underdog which makes me love it all the more. That Packard is actually quite cool looking if you ask me. Any space age car has a certain futuristic look about it that I love.

Like I said it isn't pretty but when you get it for free and want to restore it the 1959 Lincoln becomes a beauty.

AMC/Renauledge > JR1 04/07/2014 at 17:36

0

Yeah, those big hulking late '50s Lincolns haven't had the collector interest that the Lincolns on either side of it got. I love 'em, though. Too bad about those air suspensions, though.

It's amazing how futuristic these things look, especially when you compare them to the luxury cars from a decade later and 20 years beyond, as the Brougham era that sought to re-live the '20s was happening.

JR1 > AMC/Renauledge 04/07/2014 at 17:40

0

Air suspension? And yes the 50s were an era of futuristic optimism and the cars reflected the era.

AMC/Renauledge > JR1 04/07/2014 at 17:45

0

Yeah, air suspension was supposed to be available in these things, but they couldn't get the systems to work properly. The suspension mountings are designed to incorporate air bags that never came. Then again, GM had a ridiculous time with their air suspensions back then, too. In fact, I can't think of anyone except Mercedes that's done a good one.

JR1 > AMC/Renauledge 04/07/2014 at 17:48

1

Oh ok I know what you're talking about now. I was confused because the car has coil springs. If they did make 'um with air suspension they probably would have been so complicated the collector market would be even less than what it is now. Anyways great post!!

rwd&stick > AMC/Renauledge 04/07/2014 at 18:22

0

Bloated beyond belief but I love the futuristic Land Cruiser look

rwd&stick > rwd&stick 04/07/2014 at 18:23

0

JACU - I've got bonifides. > AMC/Renauledge 04/07/2014 at 19:50

1

Like this.

AMC/Renauledge > JACU - I've got bonifides. 04/07/2014 at 19:57

0

Ah yes, the original Grand Am, Pontiac's poor-selling attempt to convince the public that their elephantine intermediate could look and drive like a European car smaller than their own Ventura. It's still cool, though.

JACU - I've got bonifides. > AMC/Renauledge 04/07/2014 at 21:06

1

Bu...Bu... It's got honeycomb wheels! HONEYCOMB WHEELS!

Wildstar > AMC/Renauledge 04/08/2014 at 11:46

1

Ah yes, the last heartbeats of Packard. Take what was a very good looking Studebaker, and turn into a hideous looking Packard. Packard died about 2 years too late...

AMC/Renauledge > Wildstar 04/08/2014 at 12:04

0

The '57s were pretty good-looking, I thought. The '58s were just terrible, though. But I still like 'em.