What Does Late Night Oppo Think Of.... 4th-gen Monte Carlo SS

"Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To" (murdersofa) 04/03/2014 at 00:48 • Filed to: oppopinion

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Ah, yes. The 4th-gen Monte Carlo SS, available with T-tops, 57/43 weight distribution, a 350 CI petrol or diesel (!!!) engine, and a sad 4-speed autotragic for anyone not residing in Mexico, was sadly overshadowed by its cousins the Buick Regal GNX and Chevy Camaro, but is still a perfect example of Maliese-era mediocrity.

The enormous 350 was capable of producing a tremendous racket that could probably give Mother Earth a cause to change underoos, but for all of its huffing and puffing it barely managed 175hp. To contrast, a Monte Carlo Turbo (extraordinarily rare) used a Buick-sourced 3.8 litre LD5 turbocharged engine that managed 245hp.

Even more pathetic was the 305 Small-Block which was getting around 140-160hp.

Yikes.

However, it is very hard to find fault with the styling of the Monte Carlo, and the aggressive stance of parked, wheels slightly cocked, a good half-mile from the supermarket entrance to avoid scratches to the shiny black paint, as a tribute to the fact a car can have "aggressive stance" without wearing flat spots in your exhaust by slamming it to the ground.

Possibly the most special thing about the 4th-gen is that it was the last good Monte. When the 90s oval-styled economic automotive hell rolled around the Monte Carlo was bastardized into a smoothed-out rounded-corner FF-layout bastardization of everything good in the world, and no amount of supercharged Buick 3800 V6 could save the horrible styling and lack of T-tops.

*shudders*

So, oppositelock. What is your opinion of the Last Good Monte?

Your boy, BJR > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 04/03/2014 at 00:52

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The mexican one has one of the coolest wheel styles ever.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > Your boy, BJR 04/03/2014 at 00:55

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I've actually never seen that before. The tires look a bit small for the wheel wells, but it looks pretty sweet. Sadly every example of a Monte around here looks Mexican in a totally different fashion in that it's sittin on 40-inch rims, painted sparkly purple, and blasting Spanish rap with excessive bass

Tyler's SVT Focus Hates Him > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 04/03/2014 at 00:59

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I dig these cars just as a styling exercise: boxy, aggressive, but not overstyled, just as any muscle car should be. They're like the last of GM's old-school V8, rear-wheel-drive muscle cars the fourth gen's are undeniably cool.

PS9 > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 04/03/2014 at 01:08

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Many moons ago, this was almost my first car. But mom told me no way. "That is a car for a drug dealer, and I didn't raise no fuckin' drug dealer!"

pdthedeuce > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 04/03/2014 at 01:18

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I love all the G-bodies .

Blake Noble > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 04/03/2014 at 01:20

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I owned one; an '84 SS model, which was the last year for the SS models to have woodgrain accents on the dash. The engine was all original, which meant it had the gawd-awful Computer Command Control Quadrajet carb, which meant it never ran correctly. Also, someone welded the rear diff like a jackass.

I miss that car.

PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 04/03/2014 at 01:31

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Drop a junkyard 5.3L with a Tremec T-5 in there, and you got yourself a 300+horse*, 375+ft-lb* sleeper!

*depends on mods, stats based off of guess what an old 5.3 would be capable of, in contrast to new one that you can buy off of chevy's website

JawKnee > pdthedeuce 04/03/2014 at 07:02

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i just posted a comment about G-bodies. great sleepers easily modified for crazy HP. I miss my cutlass supreme every day.

Bullitt417 > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 04/03/2014 at 08:19

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You could get a 350 in a 4th gen Monte. I am aware of all the engine swaps people do with them but as far as I knew, the hi-po 305 was as big as factory allowed. I have an '87 Monte Carlo SS (Dad bought it new). The biggest engine option he had was the 305.

Busslayer > Bullitt417 04/03/2014 at 08:29

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That is my recollection as well - the 305 was the top (and only) dog in the Monte SS. I believe the highest HP was 180. They did have a 3.73 gear in the rear end which was considered a serious gear back in the '80s. I never understoody why GM didn't at least put the fuel injected 305 used in the F-bodies into these.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > Blake Noble 04/03/2014 at 09:19

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Welded diff = sweet burnouts brah

Is that an actual picture of the car? Looks really snazzy in white with the black grille.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > Bullitt417 04/03/2014 at 09:23

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Hmm. My dad claimed having a 350 in his Monte straight from the dealer, and according to Wikipedia it was available with 350cu-in petrol or diesel engines, though the "SS" trim level officially had the anemic 305 small-block.

shop-teacher > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 04/03/2014 at 09:25

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I've always loved them, although I wish the overhangs (especially the front one) weren't so freaking long. Sadly, you could not get them with a 350, they 305 was the top engine on these. Of course, that's easy to fix.

shop-teacher > JawKnee 04/03/2014 at 09:26

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I love all the G-bodies, but the Cutlass is my favorite.

crowmolly > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 04/03/2014 at 09:34

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Much like (almost) any other GM vehicle from '75-'87 or so you need to rip out the engine and trans and replace them. Then it's good to go.

IMO it's a great car that needs a heart transplant in a bad way.

Bullitt417 > Busslayer 04/03/2014 at 10:26

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That's what we have. the 305 Hi-po with 3.73 gearing. I thought the hp was 190 but really whats ten hp.

Bullitt417 > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 04/03/2014 at 10:28

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Maybe it was a dealer swap sold as new? I know my SS has the 305 in it. From what I understood the difference between the SS305 and the regular 305 was basically the carburetor. I know a lot of people do the 350 swap though.

Blake Noble > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 04/03/2014 at 10:56

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Whoever welded the rear diff didn't do it correctly, I think. Whenever you would make a left hand turn, one of the back wheels would drag badly. Anyway, I tried doing burnouts in that car. It would've done them all day long if I had refreshed the tired 305HO and removed the engine electronics. With the electronics and that horrific CCC Quadrajet, it would just scrub its rear tires angrily on the pavement.

Still, it was a cool ass car.

Yep, that's an actual pic of it. Thanks!

jlay > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 04/03/2014 at 11:21

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G-bodies are great. Full frame car allows for tons of bolt-in suspension options for autocross and track days, without getting into welding in subframe connectors. Check out SC&C suspension's website for some ideas. You can also do alot of front suspension work on the cheap with circle track parts, since alot of them run g-body front clips.

Definitely one of the best American platforms for modifying for handling ability. Easy engine swaps (SBC or LSx) with manual transmissions (TKO or T56), lots of off-the-shelf rearend choices that will stand up to the power.

briannutter1 > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 04/03/2014 at 11:45

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I'd consider 1985 just outside of the Malaise era...the start of the rebirth. The Monte Carlo, GN/ Iroc/ Transam, and 5.0 were the hitters. We were back in the 14 second quarter mile range for the first time in 13 years. It was also the start of what has evolved into the Pro Touring Movement with the introduction of Car Craft magazines Real Street Eliminator contests starting in 1986.