We must save the Viper

"xmarkedspot" (imnotsallyburnerpinsarestupid) 03/27/2014 at 15:10 • Filed to: viper, connor avenue, raph, gilles, ralph gilles

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Conner Avenue is closed, folks. A few select women and men are using their hands to do any number of things this morning, but they aren't using them to put together Vipers. If I used my hands to put together Vipers last week, and did anything other than that this week, I would be sad. I would be even more sad if on my way to do whatever mundane task my life had become, I happened to be passed by a new Corvette.

Viper sales have slowed since the introduction of the newest SRT model, the first Viper not sold as a Dodge. You see, it doesn't matter who builds the car anymore. It doesn't matter what factory it comes from, who the people were that designed it, or what history or pedigree it carries. All that matters is the marketing, people, and SRT sounds snazzy.

The Viper concept was supposed to re-orient what the Dodge brand was all about. Jim Julo, Vice President of Dodge motorsports said, "We wanted to come up with something that was so outrageous, so cutting edge, so purpose built that it said we still had a lot of car nuts around here; people with the know-how to put the most outrageous street car ever on the road."

The people at Dodge certainly knew how to be outrageous. In 1968 they took their smallest car (The Dart [see, heritage must mean SOMETHING to you people if not just the ability to recycle]) and stuffed in their biggest engine. They slapped in some plastic for windows, some fiberglass for fenders, added a little Hurst magic and VOILA! The Dodge Hurst Hemi Dart was born, and it was insane. This brings me to my main issue with the current car. The engine.

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Big engine, small car... it sounds perfect. That was 1968. That was a long time ago. The current Viper is configured with 8.4 Liters of displacement. Yeah, you get 640 horsepower. It's still massively inefficient. Edmunds says the newest aluminum V10 iteration of Chrysler's LA series engine comes in at around 15mpg average.

You know about hybrid systems, you know about overhead cams and variable valve timing, you know about direct injection... Viper has none of these. Viper needs to grow up under the hood. Consider smaller displacement, more efficiency, and maybe, just MAYBE - finally convincing the Viper faithful to let go of the V10. Yes, 10 is more than 8, and that gives you a stick to wave at that Chevrolet (as it passes you.) Yes, you love how V10 sounds when you say it out loud. Instead of grasping that number so tightly, look for newer and better things. You don't need ten cylinders, anymore. You just don't. If your company has a bunch of money to waste to develop a car that you have room to lose money on (LFA,) fine. Chrysler is not in this situation.

The Viper is at risk of dying off all together. Chrysler still clearly has a long road ahead of it to become truly successful again, especially in Viper's niche market. Bot the Viper and the Challenger come up short in comparison to their competition... let's not even talk about the Challenger.

I think Chrysler needs to really look at this car with a fresh perspective. I think Ralph Gilles needs to take a step back. I'd never heard of a CEO calling out a Motor Trend test driver as a wussy before. Mr Gilles, I'm sorry to say the car just isn't as good as you wanted it to be. You race them, they're fun, I get it. That's not the point. I thought the point is to sell the car to other people. Trying to preserve the voracious nature of the Viper isn't helping it at all. If you want to sell us a car that looks the same as it did twenty years ago, that's just fine by me when it's something that looks like a Viper. I'm not fine with you selling something that acts and works like a twenty year old car. Yes, it finally has traction control and a few other comforts. It's not enough. I know you think that wasting money running around the country with Vipers for test drives will help. It won't. If someone seriously wants a Viper, you think your dealerships aren't going to do anything they can to move the car? I think Viper simply deserves more. If Chrysler isn't willing to make some major changes in modernization, we're going to lose this car to poor sales completely. I don't want that to happen. Unless you bring us a new ME-412...

Viper is a just a car for a poster. I want it to be more than that.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > xmarkedspot 03/27/2014 at 15:20

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Going slightly off-topic, it is a pity that the Challenger is such an underperformer when it's easily the best-looking modern muscle car on the streets today.

Jonathon Klein > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 03/27/2014 at 15:44

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GTFO, what are you even talking about? How is it the best. It has the side profile of a battleship, the doors are like 3ft in height without the window rolled up!

JR1 > xmarkedspot 03/27/2014 at 15:46

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I am just going to say it, I love that the Viper has a manual but that isn't what people want anymore. Dual clutch or automated manual . If the Viper can do this, sales will increase.

user13 > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 03/27/2014 at 15:50

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The problem with the Challenger is the price. If you compare the ss gt and srt trim levels the challenger is just as fast if not faster in a straight line (Its a muscle car who cares about corners) but it cost ~10k more. The Viper suffers from the same performance/$ problem. Im sure the Hellcat will be the same way; faster on the drag strip, but too heavy and expensive to really compete with the gt500, boss, zl1 or z 28.

user13 > Jonathon Klein 03/27/2014 at 15:52

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looks are subjective, but the internet seems to agree that the chally is the best looking

jlmounce > xmarkedspot 03/27/2014 at 15:53

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I agree with pretty much everything you've said here. The car needs some modernization. However I'm still putting my foot down on the fact that the price, more than that modernization, or even in spite of it, is the cause for Viper's woes.

By the time you sign on the dotted line, most of these cars are in the 120k range. So long to the performance for dollar segment. Those people will put up with that modernization deficiency. But then, considering how nice that new Corvette is, I wouldn't even say those people would put up with it.

In that price range, it better drive like cars in that price range and offer the same features. It doesn't. It doesn't come close except for it's big power numbers.

For the Viper to be a viable automobile it needs to she a minimum of $40,000 from it's price tag. That's just to start. It also needs to get serious about it's performance. Buyers of these cars don't care about the "raw" nature of the car anymore. They want to be the fastest player in town. The viper touts big numbers, but it's so crude that the power is worthless. Call that what you want, but at the end of the day, the buyers now want slick transmission, launch control, torque vectoring etc. Then, to top it off, it needs to be more efficient. Corvette gets an EPA highway mileage of 26. That's damn good, but in my experience, even my 2008 Z06 did 29 if you keep your foot out of it.

Until Viper can provide Z06 level performance at a price near Z06 level pricing, that car will continue to flounder until it's officially dead.

Jonathon Klein > user13 03/27/2014 at 15:57

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I would take the Mustang, not the newest 2015 one, but the last gen, way before I took either of the other two. Those two are not good looking. The Camaro has the same problem, it's too chubby in the middle.

xmarkedspot > jlmounce 03/27/2014 at 15:57

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I concur. MSRP and cost of ownership for this car make it too easy to take your money elsewhere.

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 03/27/2014 at 16:10

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I have to agree, it's simply the most attractive of the big three's muscle cars. It managed to make retro look modern, if that makes sense.

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > Jonathon Klein 03/27/2014 at 16:21

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They all look pretty damn the same from the side if you ask me.

Matt Brown > xmarkedspot 03/27/2014 at 16:30

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Meh, there are plenty of small displacement, high revving, variable cam performance cars. The Viper was cool because it was an insane car with a giant engine and no frills. The new iterations have gotten pretty far from that, and I'd like to see the old formula come back. I want less technology and comforts. $60,000, 600 horsepower, plastic interior, two seats and optional A/C. The old viper was cool because filled a niche that didn't need to be filled; it's like showing up to a horse race with a velociraptor.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > Jonathon Klein 03/27/2014 at 18:20

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Exactly. It's a slab-sided monolithic brick of a car with clean lines and no superfluous bullshit creases. Seriously, the Camaro and Mustang have more character lines than Lord of the Rings, and this is coming from someone who utterly adores the Camaro.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > Logansteno: Bought a VW? 03/27/2014 at 18:22

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Yup. The mustang has gotten more creases than that shirt I left at the bottom of my drawer for a year (oops) and the Camaro looks overdone. The Challenger and the 2009-and-earlier Mustangs are the best looking retro-revival muscle cars, for sure. The Charger isn't half bad, but I'm not sure it counts because it has four doors.

Jonathon Klein > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 03/27/2014 at 18:30

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I prefer the Colin Chapman approach though.

xmarkedspot > JR1 03/27/2014 at 22:10

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For the record, I highly dislike your comment. Also, for the record - you're most likely 100%, absolutely, completely, totally, and abhorrently correct. I've driven a manual for the last 10 years, (I'm 26, if that perspective lets you in on my transmission preference.) I don't think people want to use a third pedal, anymore. I would say, at the very least, try a hand clutch... no road car I'm aware of has one. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

xmarkedspot > xmarkedspot 03/27/2014 at 22:11

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http://jalopnik.com/5694777/67-of-…

6.7%, and that was 2010. Go talk to your dealer about buying a new stick shift today. They'll tell you not to. A client of mine that is a sales manager at a Ford dealership told me it was more like 1% nowadays, and that I shouldn't even be shopping for one if I ever want to trade it in.

JR1 > xmarkedspot 03/27/2014 at 23:53

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I'm not saying I like my comment but in today's world it's the damn truth people are lazy and don't want to shift for fun. Especially the 1% who tend to buy cars like the Viper as a statues symbol.