"Jagvar" (Jagvar)
03/04/2014 at 15:29 • Filed to: None
0
20|
"Jagvar" (Jagvar)
03/04/2014 at 15:29 • Filed to: None | 0
| 20 |
Last week, I flew out of IAD bound for FLL. There were no cars in the drop-off zone, there was no line at TSA, and I got to my gate 90 minutes early, which almost never happens. Unfortunately, I got stuck with the very last boarding zone (I've since learned that United boards its planes from the windows inward, so don't book an aisle seat on United if you can help it).
Boarding began on time. And right away, it turned into a nightmare. A rather large woman with a lot of sass and an attitude had appointed herself dictator of the gate, and she was letting very few carry-on bags on board. She made every single passenger drop their carry-on bags into the little bag-sizing thingy by the gate. If it took more than two seconds to fit the bag, she snatched it away, saying "Uh-uh, not today. That ain't goin' on. FAA reg'lations." I don't know how many people she did this to exactly. I honestly stopped counting at 32. Several heated arguments broke out.
Also, this was not a tiny plane. This was a Boeing 737.
By the time she got to my boarding zone, she pointed at the entire line and said, "You all gettin' checked." She put a tag on my bag, which I ripped off as soon as she was out of sight. I carried my bag onto the plane, and what do you know, half of the overhead bin space was empty. I put it right above my seat.
Boarding the plane took well over an hour , and we took off 90 minutes late because of her. My head is still spinning.
For Sweden
> Jagvar
03/04/2014 at 15:31 |
|
She handled the situation poorly, but it's appalling what some people consider to be a carry-on-sized bag.
Textured Soy Protein
> Jagvar
03/04/2014 at 15:33 |
|
I flew out of IAD
There's your problem right there.
|
Jagvar
> For Sweden
03/04/2014 at 15:34 |
|
True, but she was checking backpacks. Tote bags. A yoga mat. She even tried to check a woman's purse, and that one really started a screaming match.
Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole
> Jagvar
03/04/2014 at 15:35 |
|
Take your plight to the Twitterz! It's worked well for me a couple times.
|
Jagvar
> Textured Soy Protein
03/04/2014 at 15:35 |
|
I prefer DCA, but IAD is so much closer to me since I moved last summer.
EL_ULY
> Jagvar
03/04/2014 at 15:38 |
|
oh man I can already picture that hag. That was super lame.
oh well, at least you did't have an older woman vomit warm blood on you :]
* remembers awful multi vomiting plane memory*
:'(
quarterlifecrisis
> Jagvar
03/04/2014 at 15:47 |
|
DCA is such a breeze because of its size. Graned, I live within a reasonable driving distance from DC now so its kind of a moot point, but I loved going to/from DCA.
|
Textured Soy Protein
> Jagvar
03/04/2014 at 15:47 |
|
I hear ya.
I grew up in MoCo, my family is there and in DC, and I've lived in Madison, WI for a long while now. I used to catch whatever random flight between Madison and any of DCA, BWI or IAD, based mostly on connections. I'd try for DCA if I could but it didn't always have the best flight options.
But, it's been a while since I've been to Dulles because now both Delta and Frontier fly direct from Madison to DCA, and if neither of those is available I can fly direct from Milwaukee to BWI.
Frontier is a piece of shit airline but I'll take a direct flight on a shit airline over having to connect thru Chicago O'Hare.
Casper
> Jagvar
03/04/2014 at 15:53 |
|
This is why I A) avoid flying and B) only fly with a backpack as a "personal item" and stuff it under the seat in front of me. I can pack enough cloths for a week business trip, a laptop, and misc crap all in the same bag. That way I can breeze through and get the hell out of the place when the plane lands without waiting at the baggage claim.
Deputy Kovacs
> Jagvar
03/04/2014 at 15:58 |
|
I just can't stand airports and flying anymore. I flew on about 15 different flights during December and January and decided that I should just drive to Florida this month instead of fly. Plus, I get to test my cannonball skills!
jariten1781
> Jagvar
03/04/2014 at 16:01 |
|
She must have been new. I flew out of there every other week for three years on United and knew all the gate crew pretty well and never had anything like this occur. I can count on one hand the number of times the bag checker thing was used for domestic flights.
If you fly United a fair amount grab their credit card and it'll get you into an early boarding group regardless of where you're sitting.
Crocket Bernet
> EL_ULY
03/04/2014 at 16:01 |
|
|
EL_ULY
> Crocket Bernet
03/04/2014 at 16:11 |
|
lol oh yeah dude, warm vomit blood doesn't smell too good :] It caused a chain reaction. Thank god for those bag things. The back of my shirt was not that fortunate though
davedave1111
> Jagvar
03/04/2014 at 16:21 |
|
My worst ever airport experience (and I've had a few bad ones) involved Maurice Bishop IA in Grenada (GND), and I didn't even get off the plane. The flight I was on stopped off briefly in Grenada, or at least it was supposed to. During the short time on the ground to drop off a few passengers (and possibly refuel, I'm not sure) some idiot managed to park one of the airport's pickup trucks somewhere that prevented the plane being moved, then lock it and go off shift and home with the keys.
We were stuck on the ground for at least two hours, because they wouldn't do anything to move the stupid truck. If they'd simply hooked up one of those tugs/tractors that can move a 747, they could have dragged the truck out the way even if all four wheels were locked..
Lekker
> EL_ULY
03/04/2014 at 16:30 |
|
You have effectively helped me lose weight. I've lost my appetite for the week. Thanks! lol
M54B30
> Jagvar
03/04/2014 at 16:31 |
|
That does sound rough but I'm tired of people bringing hiking/camping bags into planes as carry-on. If you're buying a triple digit dollar plane ticket, spend the extra $25 or $50 and get a checked bag. Hell, if you're military United gives you check bags for free.
I just had a baby and I'm planning on flying to Germany this summer and I can almost guarantee some lady on a power trip will give me shit for a backpack and diaper bag. Flying is the most expensive way to get treated likes shit.
Dusty Ventures
> Jagvar
03/04/2014 at 17:03 |
|
My "worst" experience was flying out of Tampa after a friend's wedding. I overslept and woke up in the hotel 40 minutes before my flight (fortunately I'd packed my bag the night before). I dove into my clothes, checked out of the hotel, ran to the rental car, hauled ass to the rental return, got my ticket (no check bag, thank god), ran to the security checkpoint (which thankfully was virtually empty), and went Usain Bolt to my gate. By a divine miracle they were still boarding. I get on the plane, find my seat and sit down, still laughing in amazement that I made it. We're pushed back from the gate, but then we just sit there. Minutes pass. Then more minutes. Then the captain comes on saying they're showing a mechanical problem that he doesn't feel safe flying with, so we need to return to the gate. Nearly everyone starts grumbling about the "terrible" captain and the "terrible" airline and how the captain is maliciously conspiring to ruin everyone's day, while I'm simply thinking "I'm glad he caught the problem on the ground."
The captain comes out of the cockpit and is met with a wall of angry faces. As he's passing me I stop him and tell him I admire him, think he's doing a good job, and appreciate him realizing the plane has a problem and making the tough call. His face brightens and he gives me a fist bump. We all de-plane and wait in the terminal for the plane to be repaired. 90 minutes later the ground crew finds additional problems. The plane's not flying any time today, so we're all reassigned to different flights. I have no check bag and no deadline to get home, so while everyone freaks out I just sort of wander.
Eventually I go over to the counter and get my new flight assignment, along with a terminal meal voucher as an apology for the inconvenience. I use the voucher to grab some lunch, then go to my newly assigned gate. Thanks to the people from my flight being reassigned this one is now overbooked. The gate agent goes on the PA asking if anyone would be willing to give up their seat in return for a later flight and a $50 terminal voucher. Still not in a hurry. Still don't give a fuck. I take the voucher and visit Sharper Image.
Finally, third scheduled flight. Tampa to Hartford with a layover in Detroit. Fine by me. I fly into Detroit, a new airport for me, do a full lap on the monorail, because I have time (and no check bags! Yaaaaaay!), meet my connection, and fly home, finally arriving a full nine hours after I was supposed to. Technically my "worst" flying experience, but at the same time my most relaxing.
|
Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole
> Jagvar
03/04/2014 at 18:57 |
|
Look what popped up on my newsfeed:
http://www.king5.com/news/business/…
Looks like you just met United's new policy head on.
Slave2anMG
> Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole
03/04/2014 at 19:45 |
|
And that kind of crap, my friends, is why I would rather take Greyhound than get on a United flight. They just plain suck out loud. In church. And they have sucked for years and years. This isn't about 'safety' or 'regulations'...it's about shaking down passengers for more cash.
Fuck that noise. I'm flying Southwest or American...because I'm lifer gold on AA and thus no bag fees.
|
Jagvar
> Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole
03/04/2014 at 20:45 |
|
Well, looks like I'm going to be flying Delta a lot more.