Correct me if I'm wrong... (NSFW)

"joemcm" (JoeMcMullen) 02/14/2014 at 19:20 • Filed to: NSFW

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but something's not quite right with this day, let's have a look at this Valentine's Day phenomenon, shall we?

Women want excessive amounts of chocolate on Valentine's Day.

Men give their lady friends said chocolate, with hopes of intercourse later on that evening.

Men will take their lady friends out to nice dinners where they will buy them wine... and more chocolate.

When the night comes, and men are hoping all their hard work will pay off and they will have their long-awaited, rambunctious Valentine's Day sex, women will reply, "I don't think I'm in the mood tonight sweetie, I'm really bloated. I think it was all that wine and chocolate."

Men will try to fall asleep, but fail due to the boner they have from expecting sex all day.

Heads hung in sadness, men will head to the bathroom and have a fap before returning to their bloated loved one.

Have a corkscrew for that wine you'll be using to make your female companions more bloated:

... just in case

Without further adieu, your Valentine's Day presents:

And because nobody can get enough Emily Ratajkowski without clothing:

BeaterGT > joemcm 02/14/2014 at 19:22

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C4 got the lead of this awesome thread.

Frosted > joemcm 02/14/2014 at 19:25

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I'll be honest, I do it just to make the lady happy. Took her out to lunch at a diner where we had our first date, gave her a box of chocolates and a little ring. Now I'm home playing Skyrim, content that she's happy.

joemcm > Frosted 02/14/2014 at 19:32

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Not to be that guy but the commercialized affection bothers me. I was in a long-term relationship and would say I was in love and liked to do those things to make her happy too, as I think every guy should. Why do we need a day for it?

BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion > joemcm 02/14/2014 at 19:34

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Well, it's not really valentine's day in Brazil, and I don't have a lady friend to worry about, so I'm good. That corkscrew does look pretty neat though.

Scary__goongala! > joemcm 02/14/2014 at 19:37

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oh sarah jean underwood yes please

Timmy - MINI With a Big Blower > Scary__goongala! 02/14/2014 at 19:39

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I'd put my wood under her.

Frosted > joemcm 02/14/2014 at 19:42

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For us at least, it's a day where we celebrate what we have. We don't discuss our pasts or our schoolwork or jobs, not because they aren't important, but because we make Valentines day specifically about our relationship when our normal lives might leave us too busy to really think about it. I'm not really sure if I'm explaining what I mean well because I don't know how to exactly put it in words.

Reigntastic > joemcm 02/14/2014 at 19:49

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The face on that first girl...

Nerd-Vol > joemcm 02/14/2014 at 20:02

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Takuro Spirit > joemcm 02/14/2014 at 20:13

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I didn't expect anything, just told the wife it's HER turn to pick what we do so she booked a hotel room and a place to have dinner..... but then she gave me some little gifts this morning. And sent me stuff at work.

Ugh.

So here I was all day worrying about having to get HER something, like its a competition. Fuck this pressure... I'm home now, didn't get her anything. And I feel GOOD about it. Might be the beer, but I feel GOOD.

Fucking Hallmark Holidays . >:(

JACU - I've got bonifides. > Nerd-Vol 02/14/2014 at 20:26

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10+ Internet's for Firefly reference!

Nerd-Vol > JACU - I've got bonifides. 02/14/2014 at 20:27

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I just saw the series for the first time a few weeks ago.

DuckDraper > joemcm 02/14/2014 at 20:32

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Now that's what I call beautiful a labia.

joemcm > Frosted 02/15/2014 at 16:59

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That's awesome, much respect for that.

joemcm > Takuro Spirit 02/15/2014 at 17:05

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That's actually brutal, I've been there. I figured married couples wouldn't play that game, but hey, at least ya'll still have some sort of excitement goin.