Fernando Alonso Doesn't Know What A Chicken Is

"Stef Schrader" (stefschrader) 12/30/2014 at 16:40 • Filed to: Rally Chicken, Chickens, Chicanes, Fernando Alonso

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Here's an old clip I found today that speaks to Dusty Ventures' soul . See, this is a man who doesn't know the meaning of the word "chicken." As in, I see no birds on track.

Just to clarify, this is a chicken:

Also, this is a chicken:

This is not a chicken:

Any questions? (Ignore the so-called "webbed feet." The webbed feet are a lie!)

EL_ULY > Stef Schrader 12/30/2014 at 16:44

5

Chicane Fried Steak :]

Dusty Ventures > Stef Schrader 12/30/2014 at 16:47

4

Duck

Dusty Ventures > Stef Schrader 12/30/2014 at 16:47

1

Duck

Dusty Ventures > Stef Schrader 12/30/2014 at 16:47

3

Goose(bumps)

Stef Schrader > Dusty Ventures 12/30/2014 at 16:59

0

Nope

Stef Schrader > Dusty Ventures 12/30/2014 at 16:59

0

Nope

Stef Schrader > Dusty Ventures 12/30/2014 at 16:59

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......I don't know. Probably nope.

aberson Bresident of the FullyAssed Committe > Stef Schrader 12/30/2014 at 16:59

2

I WILL STARE INTO YOUR SOUL

Distraxi's idea of perfection is a Jagroen > Stef Schrader 12/30/2014 at 16:59

2

Australian chicken

crown victor victoria > Stef Schrader 12/30/2014 at 17:23

1

High Chicken

Dusty Ventures > Stef Schrader 12/30/2014 at 17:26

3

Dusty Ventures > Stef Schrader 12/30/2014 at 17:28

1

Manuél Ferrari > Stef Schrader 12/30/2014 at 18:01

1

Yes

His use of memes cannot be disputed

BlurpleToyotaDishwasher > Stef Schrader 12/30/2014 at 18:31

2

On the other hand, here is Guy Martin actually getting a chicken-related definition wrong:

StingrayJake > EL_ULY 12/30/2014 at 18:39

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Other things I like: chicane fired chicane, chicane strips, chicane enchiladas, chicane chimichangas, chicane sandwiches, chicane scampi (Cheesecake Factory, I'm looking at you), chicane caesar wraps, chicane burritos, chicane salads (especially caesar), and sometimes just good old fashioned grilled chicane

EL_ULY > StingrayJake 12/30/2014 at 18:44

2

OFFICIALLY HUNGRY!!!!!!!

StingrayJake > EL_ULY 12/30/2014 at 18:46

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Me too, but I have to wait out another 6 hours until I get off work. Then I'll go home and east some chicane ramen.

EL_ULY > StingrayJake 12/30/2014 at 18:48

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I got a little over an hour til. Out of Ramen but sounds yummy

Stef Schrader > Dusty Ventures 12/30/2014 at 19:41

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I don't see a duck.

Stef Schrader > Dusty Ventures 12/30/2014 at 19:42

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Nope!

Stef Schrader > BlurpleToyotaDishwasher 12/30/2014 at 19:45

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Spatchcocking is like the Goatse of poultry.

Dusty Ventures > Stef Schrader 12/30/2014 at 19:53

2

Dusty Ventures > Stef Schrader 12/30/2014 at 19:54

0

Stef Schrader > Dusty Ventures 12/30/2014 at 22:36

0

Nein!

Dusty Ventures > Stef Schrader 12/30/2014 at 22:42

2

Stef Schrader > Dusty Ventures 12/30/2014 at 22:52

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Don't care. Rally Chicken can do neither of those things.

Dusty Ventures > Stef Schrader 12/30/2014 at 22:57

1

Of course not. Rally Duck is a Puff. They operate on a different plane of existence.

Stef Schrader > Dusty Ventures 12/30/2014 at 23:08

0

That meeeeeans she's not a duck!

Dusty Ventures > Stef Schrader 12/30/2014 at 23:13

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Does she lay eggs? Is she tasty when deep fried extra crispy?

Stef Schrader > Dusty Ventures 12/30/2014 at 23:14

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You don't always eat chickens. Rally Chicken is a pet. She's my chicken baby.

Dusty Ventures > Stef Schrader 12/30/2014 at 23:19

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And the eggs?

Stef Schrader > Dusty Ventures 12/30/2014 at 23:42

1

Eggs prove nothing. Don't make fun of Rally Chicken's reproductive inabilities.

Stef Schrader > Manuél Ferrari 12/30/2014 at 23:58

1

It can when it's wrong!

He's wrong. It's a Chicken.

Manuél Ferrari > Stef Schrader 12/31/2014 at 01:34

1

Dusty Ventures > Stef Schrader 12/31/2014 at 01:37

0

Stef Schrader > Manuél Ferrari 12/31/2014 at 01:55

1

This is a Puffalump using a toilet.

Chicken is still not a duck.

Manuél Ferrari > Stef Schrader 12/31/2014 at 01:57

1

LOL

Hopefully she didn't have tacos that were too spicy

Stef Schrader > Dusty Ventures 12/31/2014 at 01:57

0

These are like a chicken.

Well, they are chickens.

Dusty Ventures > Stef Schrader 12/31/2014 at 02:04

0

Yes yes. Those webbed feet and duckbills are very chicken-esque

Stef Schrader > Dusty Ventures 12/31/2014 at 02:25

0

This little chicken says.........

"I'm a chicken."

Dusty Ventures > Stef Schrader 12/31/2014 at 02:33

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Clearly delusional

Stef Schrader > Dusty Ventures 12/31/2014 at 12:16

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Nope! Clearly a Puffalump chicken!

Dusty Ventures > Stef Schrader 12/31/2014 at 14:45

0

SubiSanchez > Stef Schrader 12/31/2014 at 16:25

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Throws another twist in the age old question "Why did the chicane cross the road?"

Stef Schrader > Dusty Ventures 01/01/2015 at 01:02

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That's a duck. Clearly evil.

Puffalumps are love and happiness incarnate, so they can't be ducks.

Dusty Ventures > Stef Schrader 01/01/2015 at 01:26

0

Stef Schrader > Dusty Ventures 01/02/2015 at 01:11

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That's a duck.

Chicken is not a duck.

Dusty Ventures > Stef Schrader 01/02/2015 at 02:00

0

Stef Schrader > Dusty Ventures 01/02/2015 at 03:16

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Buncha weird kids.

Dusty Ventures > Stef Schrader 01/02/2015 at 12:15

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Stef Schrader > Dusty Ventures 01/02/2015 at 19:01

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CLUCK CLUCK

Dusty Ventures > Stef Schrader 01/02/2015 at 19:28

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"Cluck cluck, I'm a duck"

Stef Schrader > Dusty Ventures 01/03/2015 at 23:34

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This is Chicken's unamused face.

Dusty Ventures > Stef Schrader 01/04/2015 at 00:35

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Looks more like duckface to me.

Stef Schrader > Dusty Ventures 01/04/2015 at 00:49

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Nope!

This is a Rally Chicken butt. Chicken butt!

Dusty Ventures > Stef Schrader 01/04/2015 at 01:02

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You misspelled "ducktail"

Stef Schrader > Dusty Ventures 01/04/2015 at 01:48

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Nope. It's a chicken butt.

Dusty Ventures > Stef Schrader 01/04/2015 at 02:48

0

Stef Schrader > Dusty Ventures 01/04/2015 at 03:07

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Nein. It's a chicken.

Dusty Ventures > Stef Schrader 01/04/2015 at 03:21

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I hate to argue with such a great gif, but I must stand my ground for the good of Rally Duck and the good of ducks everywhere

Stef Schrader > Dusty Ventures 01/04/2015 at 03:29

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Dude, even our local weatherman said it's a chicken.

That was from when I lived in Waco, too. Those weatherbros roll hard.

Dusty Ventures > Stef Schrader 01/04/2015 at 11:12

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He's a weatherman. They're wrong 80% of the time by default.

Stef Schrader > Dusty Ventures 01/05/2015 at 02:49

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This is the 20% that he's right, though: it's a chicken.

Dusty Ventures > Stef Schrader 01/05/2015 at 02:53

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I refuse to accept the word of a weatherman. That there be a duck

Stef Schrader > Dusty Ventures 01/05/2015 at 02:59

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Then take the word of Theo Bunny.

That there is a chicken. Rally Chicken (FTW).

Dusty Ventures > Stef Schrader 01/05/2015 at 03:11

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I will have to hear it straight from Theo's mouth. You saying he said it won't suffice. Until then... Rally Duck.

Stef Schrader > Dusty Ventures 01/05/2015 at 03:27

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Theo is like the Stig. Theo doesn't talk. Theo does, however, know Rally Chicken well enough for presh bunneh hugz.

Stef Schrader > Dusty Ventures 01/05/2015 at 03:28

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Also, boom:

Rally.

Chicken.

Dusty Ventures > Stef Schrader 01/05/2015 at 14:20

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I have stated my terms. Until Theo says it a duck the bird shall be.

Also, that shirt is for a baseball rally, not a car rally. Baseball is a terrible, boring sport, and not to be promoted. Also, according to the Googles, the shirt is talking about this Rally Chicken: