Who Uses A Toilet That Isn't Theirs???

"Party-vi" (party-vi)
12/15/2014 at 15:42 • Filed to: bunchabullshit, justconstructionthings

Looking outside our construction office (glorified trailer), I saw a late '90s dark green Chevy Suburban parked at an odd angle in our parking lot, nose-in near a temporary toilet that we had sitting to use at another job site, meaning it was still on-rent but not in use. I walk over to it and knock on the door and to my surprise someone is using the damn thing!

Sure enough, a guy steps out in a fluorescent vest and asks how I'm doing, to which I reply "is that your fucking toilet?" Apparently the utility contractors working on the road in front of our office have been using it off-and-on during the past week. It's not getting serviced and there is no TP in it what are they wiping with!?!? He story was, he had some wet boots and put them on some airport barriers next to our shed (behind our office, wtf?) and decided to use the facilities while he was picking them up. After explaining you can't just use things that don't belong to you ("if that car was unlocked would you got and drive it? No? WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SHITTING IN MY TOILET!?") I told him to get the fuck out of my parking lot, to which I got a lot of head-shaking and grumbling.

The door is now zip-tied shut, and I'm racking my brain as to how they managed to clean themselves.

/rant

DISCUSSION (75)

Cherry_man1 > Party-vi
12/15/2014 at 15:44

I would call the contractor company and yell at them and have them get someone to clean it.

ACESandEIGHTS > Party-vi
12/15/2014 at 15:48

HAHAHAhahaha, oh snap. I don't think I would have the balls to tell someone to do "the fuck" anything.

All I could muster when I saw the fat white trash lady smoking a cigarette next to the gas pump she was using was "Are you fucking serious?" Even that I felt bad about. But not too bad 'cause she did make me drive to the other side of the Interstate so I could gas up at a station that _wasn't_ prone to exploding.

AM3R shamefully returns > Party-vi
12/15/2014 at 15:49

that's fucked up, hopefully you or your guys aren't the ones that have to clean it.

Party-vi > Cherry_man1
12/15/2014 at 15:50

I've got his (supposed) name, his supervisor and company, and the contractor they're working for, whom happens to be a subcontractor of mine on another project. I'll just have it cleaned before we send it out again.

Luc - The Acadian Oppo > Party-vi
12/15/2014 at 15:51

Sorry I didn't know you would get so upset about it. Next time I'll go on your doorstep instead. When you got to go you got to go.

Kinja'd!!!

Party-vi > ACESandEIGHTS
12/15/2014 at 15:52

He kept making excuses for using it, and I kept asking why he would use something that wasn't his - "why not walk into my office and ask to take a shit in my bathroom? Why not use the store across the street? Why not use the toilet you're supposed to have on your fucking site!?" I was pissed.

505Turbeaux > Party-vi
12/15/2014 at 15:52

I have a hard time pooping if I am not at home, in my comfort zone. I run back to my apartment in town from my girlfriends apartment if I have to shit. So no I don't make deposits where I don't have a bank account

Ntovorni > Party-vi
12/15/2014 at 15:53

Oops. I'm sorry.

I never realized it would be such a shunned upon thing. I've found in my years of running, that construction site toilets are some impressively clean units, so if the urge hits me on a long run I'll duck into one, but only if it's easily accessable. If it's inside a fenced in building-being-built construction site, I probably won't, but if it's like a roadside one, it's a lot more attractive than the woods.

Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. > Party-vi
12/15/2014 at 15:56

I'm not defending them, but if I were you I would expect to begin finding turds all over your property now. It's just how some people are.

nermal > 505Turbeaux
12/15/2014 at 15:57

Same here. Need home field advantage.

Never take a dump at a GF's house either. I wait until I get home, then bombs away.

Party-vi > Ntovorni
12/15/2014 at 15:58

That's a good way to get a clock cleaning from someone who lifts heavy objects to make a living. The contractors that rent them pay for the cleaning and re-stocking. It's a different situation if you've got an emergency, but they won't take too kindly to you using their john.

ACESandEIGHTS > Ntovorni
12/15/2014 at 15:58

Well good for you.

At least you aren't the Malicious Fecal Distribution Bandit who kept targeting the same homeowner's property on her runs.

LumberJunk > Party-vi
12/15/2014 at 16:01

Shit, I should think twice before I stop to take a shit in a portable toilet while I'm out walking my dog.

Party-vi > Luc - The Acadian Oppo
12/15/2014 at 16:01

If you shit on my doorstep at least don't hit the welcome mat.

Party-vi > AM3R shamefully returns
12/15/2014 at 16:01

The rental company cleans it, we just end up paying for it.

davedave1111 > Party-vi
12/15/2014 at 16:07

I did that once when I was desperate. Doing it regularly seems a bit odd, but as long as there's no mess left, how much does it matter?

Wacko > Party-vi
12/15/2014 at 16:08

Kinja'd!!!

Party-vi > Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast.
12/15/2014 at 16:10

If I find turds all over US government property said subcontractor is going to have base police up their asses and no more contracts.

Party-vi > LumberJunk
12/15/2014 at 16:11

If it's in a park it's more than likely a public use restroom. If it's near a construction area then it's probably on-rent and should be locked when they're not on site.

R Saldana [|Oo|======|oO|] - BTC/ETH/LTC Prophet > Party-vi
12/15/2014 at 16:12

When I did smoke several years ago, there was absolutely nothing better in the whole middle east than taking a shit and smoking a cigarette. Be that in a hole in the ground, or someone else's toilet.

What? Are you gonna challenge me taking a shit in a hole in the ground that I dug myself?

I guess no one ever read you "Everybody Poops".

At least it wasn't a heinous, undisciplined Iraqi "Special Forces" troop who squats over the porta-potty toilet seat and shit all over the rim.

Quit your bitching.

Kinja'd!!!

R Saldana [|Oo|======|oO|] - BTC/ETH/LTC Prophet > Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast.
12/15/2014 at 16:14

I would begin doing this to you. And even go as far as to shit in my stockpile of WAG bags and toss them onto or as close as possible to your air conditioning system.

Party-vi > Wacko
12/15/2014 at 16:14

I would poo in an FJ Cruiser.

Party-vi > R Saldana [|Oo|======|oO|] - BTC/ETH/LTC Prophet
12/15/2014 at 16:15

Base regulations state every job has to have access to a portable toilet provided by the contractor. Also, now I have to spend money budgeted for something else to get this toilet cleaned. I shall bitch as much as I choose.

Party-vi > davedave1111
12/15/2014 at 16:18

The toilet was not being serviced. No one was coming by to stock it or clean it, so no TP, no hand sanitizer, nothing. It has sat in front of our office for almost a week waiting for another project to start. Also, their contractor is supposed to supply them with a portable toilet while they're working.

R Saldana [|Oo|======|oO|] - BTC/ETH/LTC Prophet > Party-vi
12/15/2014 at 16:18

Why don't you "tactically acquire" some PFC's and have them clean it?

What base are you on, because that sounds like some Air Force/Army regulation.

Ntovorni > Party-vi
12/15/2014 at 16:18

I mean, I understand that....most of the time I would consider it an emergency. I'll pee no issues in the woods and stuff, but when you gotta vacate your self of solid waste on a run...I classify that as an emergency.

Ntovorni > ACESandEIGHTS
12/15/2014 at 16:19

God I remember that. That is terrible. That was malicious.

Wacko > Party-vi
12/15/2014 at 16:19

Something tells me that you might already have

Kinja'd!!!

Party-vi > R Saldana [|Oo|======|oO|] - BTC/ETH/LTC Prophet
12/15/2014 at 16:19

I am but a lowly contractor, managing a construction contract at AAFB. As far as I can tell, all the airmen do around here is PT and escort.

LumberJunk > Party-vi
12/15/2014 at 16:20

It's not the park ones I have been known to use. but they're not locked and I make sure to not make a mess. But I still probably shouldn't be using them.

R Saldana [|Oo|======|oO|] - BTC/ETH/LTC Prophet > Party-vi
12/15/2014 at 16:21

hahaha, hilarious. Air force hires literally everything not glamorous out. I wonder if it was someone from my company we do some construction on military bases.

Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. > Party-vi
12/15/2014 at 16:21

The burden of proof will then be up to you. I'm just saying this because for most part, and present company excepted, people suck.

Party-vi > LumberJunk
12/15/2014 at 16:22

I can't argue you using an open portajohn, but ours is literally in front of our office trailer, mere feet from the entrance.

Party-vi > Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast.
12/15/2014 at 16:22

I know this too well.

Party-vi > R Saldana [|Oo|======|oO|] - BTC/ETH/LTC Prophet
12/15/2014 at 16:24

Probably not unless you guys do utility work. Even if it was there's nothing I can do about it now, and it's not worth contacting their contractor over.

R Saldana [|Oo|======|oO|] - BTC/ETH/LTC Prophet > Party-vi
12/15/2014 at 16:24

If it were a Marine base you would call PMO/ MP's and they would send over their juniors to clean it.

R Saldana [|Oo|======|oO|] - BTC/ETH/LTC Prophet > Party-vi
12/15/2014 at 16:25

We do entrance security engineering and construction.

LumberJunk > Party-vi
12/15/2014 at 16:27

haha that's bad! I don't poo on people's doorsteps!

Party-vi > R Saldana [|Oo|======|oO|] - BTC/ETH/LTC Prophet
12/15/2014 at 16:27

Have you worked on any VCPs at Ft Meade? Do you work for FutureNet or Nasatka? Don't say you work for NEU Security.

Party-vi > LumberJunk
12/15/2014 at 16:28

Thank goodness!

R Saldana [|Oo|======|oO|] - BTC/ETH/LTC Prophet > Party-vi
12/15/2014 at 16:29

FutureNet. That's awesome that someone out there in the world knows what my company does.

Party-vi > R Saldana [|Oo|======|oO|] - BTC/ETH/LTC Prophet
12/15/2014 at 16:34

You guys had a system installed at VCP2 if I'm not mistaken (and some when you were still S&W on Ft Meade side); hopefully it wasn't a GRAB300 - DOD issued a memo about some security vulnerabilities. I was the PM for the VCP6 entrance project. We installed a Barrier1 system which is really damn nice but also really damn finicky.

Birddog > Party-vi
12/15/2014 at 16:34

I bet he used a sock. A nasty, sweaty sock.

Party-vi > Birddog
12/15/2014 at 16:35

I mean, he was wearing plastic bags on his feet...

davedave1111 > Party-vi
12/15/2014 at 16:36

Well, yeah, but none of that strikes me as a huge big deal. It's more weird than anger-inducing, isn't it?

Party-vi > davedave1111
12/15/2014 at 16:37

It's definitely anger-inducing. Imagine if you have a pool and you come home to find someone draped their towel over one of your loungers and is in your pool on a floatie.

R Saldana [|Oo|======|oO|] - BTC/ETH/LTC Prophet > Party-vi
12/15/2014 at 16:40

So, are you ready for a sad story?

I am the systems administrator for the company in the corporate headquarters in Nashville. I started back in October of this year. after the S&W sale to FNG (some Indian owned international conglomerate). Annnd, because of wonderful cuts in federal funding I got dropped to a consultant status. Which sucks big ones, because the company is pretty great.

Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. > Party-vi
12/15/2014 at 16:41

What do you do that you spend your days guarding a standard issue porta john for uncle Sam, anyway?

Party-vi > Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast.
12/15/2014 at 16:49

I'm a PM working out of a temporary office at an Air Force base. The toilet is literally down the stairs from our front door, and nobody that works in my office parks like a drunk.

jariten1781 > Party-vi
12/15/2014 at 16:51

If it's not being serviced why was it unlocked? That's kind of asking for it.

When I was doing sod work those things were free-for-alls. All the GCs were good about having them up and as long as you weren't some gypsy "Your guys can use the one on my site, My guys can use the one on your site" was the unspoken rule. I could see the guy legitimately not realizing what was going on.

GhostZ > Party-vi
12/15/2014 at 16:53

Party-vi > R Saldana [|Oo|======|oO|] - BTC/ETH/LTC Prophet
12/15/2014 at 17:08

Things were way worse for SWSS before you came aboard. Universal Safety Response was sold by then-CEO Matt Gelfand to Smith & Wesson Holding Corp for $87M in 2009. Then the Gov't work dried up and USR (now called Smith & Wesson Security Solutions) looked like shit and laid of a dozen workers. S&W took a big hit and shuffled off the security and barrier portion to FutureNet Group in 2012. Perry Mehta started FNG in 1994 and got his 8(a) status in 2004 and has since graduated and kept afloat (which is pretty damn impressive). The barrier business was purchased because Mehta saw potential for earnings. Just 2 years ago your division was operating at a loss; now it's actually making money!

davedave1111 > Party-vi
12/15/2014 at 17:10

As long as they're clean and don't have contagious skin conditions or something, I'd laugh at their chutzpah, and then either chuck them out or, come to think of it, in this weather I'd probably need to call them an ambulance for the hypothermia.

Then again, I don't actually have a pool.

Seriously, though, maybe I'm missing the harm being done to you, but it seems like your example there is 'imagine someone does something that causes you no harm whatsoever: wouldn't that make you ANGRY ?'

Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. > Party-vi
12/15/2014 at 17:12

Ahhhhhh, Air Force.. That explains it. I was almost one of those myself at one point. Life happened and things changed so i never signed up.

Party-vi > jariten1781
12/15/2014 at 17:12

Because my dummy superintendents left it unlocked.

That's all fine-and-dandy if it was on a site, but it's literally sitting down the steps from our office in a parking lot. He also let his boots dry on top of our airport barriers, meaning he walked behind our building to get there.

Party-vi > davedave1111
12/15/2014 at 17:14

It was the chutzpah he had to use our shit to take a shit. While he's at it, why not hop in one of our skidsteers and move some pallets around?

Party-vi > Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast.
12/15/2014 at 17:14

Oh I'm not signed up, I'm a scum-of-the-earth contractor working for the airmen.

Toby F., Manager > Party-vi
12/15/2014 at 17:19

should've zip-tied shut while he was inside /half joking, half serious.

davedave1111 > Party-vi
12/15/2014 at 17:25

Well, that puts wear on the skidsteer. I mean, I completely agree that what he did was weird, but I think I'd just be 'wtf' rather than angry. Then again, I wouldn't have had to be angry to pick that moment to move the loo with a crane, so the end result is pretty similar but I've been less stressed on the way :)

There's also some pity there, I guess. If someone's life is so bad that it gets better because they get some sneaky free use of someone else's portapotty - well, I'm glad to say it would take more than that to make me happy...

R Saldana [|Oo|======|oO|] - BTC/ETH/LTC Prophet > Party-vi
12/15/2014 at 17:30

Wow, you know more about this place than I do. I'm hoping things swing around again and I get out of the consultant status. I do really like it here. But if things don't change after my current consultancy ends I will be looking for work in the oil fields.

sketchcat > Party-vi
12/15/2014 at 17:31

have pooped at least once on every continent on this planet with exception of Africa and Australia.

I recall in days of yesteryear, how joyful an occasion it was for me the day i pooped on the western side of the continental Divide of this great north america. I said unto my spouse via cell phone that i have now defecated in both watersheds of this fine country.

my latest was when i had a small personal celebration upon dropping bombs in Asia.

I had already covered other places, but was too young to appreciate those moments where i had dropped trou and emptied my bowels on places of great historical importance.

I have Shat where Vikings have.. I have reminded the English that I am free to Squat as I crapped in the same post code as the monarchy. The Fatherland received Daylight and Night bombings to remind the Germans they were naughty.

Its important to realize that pooping remains a way where we can scent mark... i have pooped here, this place is mine.. in a way.

Perhaps I will write to the Travel Channel and pitch my show... where i can travel the world and dump where ever i go, in their native ways.

Probably be a better show than the bald dude who eats bugs.

Party-vi > Toby F., Manager
12/15/2014 at 18:47

That would be false imprisonment. Also he was like 6'4" and had about 50+ pounds on me.

PS9 > sketchcat
12/15/2014 at 18:49

Gamecat's globe-travelling cousin!?

beardsbynelly - Rikerbeard > sketchcat
12/15/2014 at 18:51

Antarctica? that would be impressive, but I know they remove the sewage and dump it in the ocean.

E. Julius > sketchcat
12/15/2014 at 18:51

Do they use special toilets in Antarctica? Reminds me of a friend who wrote a guide to the best bathrooms to poop in on campus.

XJDano > Party-vi
12/15/2014 at 19:02

Asbestos abatement workers are probably the worst. Not for using others shitters, but for what we leave behind & how we do it.

Buildings that will be demolished are good, but it takes a special kind of individual to leave a shit and use the curtains for clean up. Or back when there were shit games ( thank goodness it doesn't really happen anymore ) but to go in a bag and place it by a coworker to see how long it takes for them to experience it. Or chase each other around holding the bags and throwing down hallways (sealed mostly)

Yeah, we're pretty messed up.

sketchcat > beardsbynelly - Rikerbeard
12/15/2014 at 19:11

Damn!

i forgot that continent.

not likeley ill be leaving fudge-cicles there. id like to.

-500 point for slitherin

and flog me publicly in this thread for my error.

beardsbynelly - Rikerbeard > sketchcat
12/15/2014 at 19:13

I consider it the final earthly frontier as far as pooping goes.

sketchcat > beardsbynelly - Rikerbeard
12/15/2014 at 19:21

Poopin in Antarctica is likely not the same experience as the likes of Shackelton's team had.

Eat a seal, take a dump.

sounds like today its as self contained as the Space station.

DanZman > Wacko
12/15/2014 at 19:27

The mini port-o-potty is a nice touch.

Tohru > sketchcat
12/15/2014 at 19:28

There's 7 continents. You've only shat in 4 of them. While that is a majority of the continents, it does not qualify for the use of the phrase "every _____ with the exception of". When the list of exceptions is almost as long as the list of inclusions, that doesn't work.

So you've been defecating on places of great historical importance? Popping a squat on the Great Wall of China? Pinching a loaf in an Alcatraz prison cell? Letting Montezuma's Revenge spray from the top of a Mayan temple in Tikal? Dropping the kids off at the pool in the reflective pond at the National Mall? Depositing some chocolate soft-serve inside the Arc de Triomphe?

beardsbynelly - Rikerbeard > sketchcat
12/15/2014 at 19:35

the international laws state it should be as confined as the space station.. but there was a report recently on how lax protocol is followed there re human waste disposal.

if you don't mind getting a frost bitten botty you could dump wherever you please.

gmporschenut also a fan of hondas > GhostZ
12/16/2014 at 07:42

2:16

sketchcat > beardsbynelly - Rikerbeard
12/16/2014 at 13:23

I can spare some azzmeat to frostbite, i's be more worried about a gust to hit me while im squatting and have my huevos freeze dried like astronaut ice cream.

beardsbynelly - Rikerbeard > sketchcat
12/16/2014 at 18:21

the worst part is it's so cold you wouldn't realise it until you sat back down.