What's The Most Bullshit You've Heard From A Dealer Mechanic?

"TheHondaBro" (wwaveform)
12/14/2014 at 11:10 • Filed to: None

Mine was:

Dealer: "Your coolant hoses are worn down, we suggest you replace them (they're not)."

Me: "I checked them, they're fine."

Dealer: "Well they actually deteriorate from the inside, so you wouldn't know."

Me: * then how the fuck would you guys know?*

They then tried to charge me $800 to replace perfectly good hoses.

What's the most bullshit you've heard?

DISCUSSION (37)

Roadster Man > TheHondaBro
12/14/2014 at 11:19

Not a dealer, but after replacing rotors, calipers and pads my mechanic once told me that he can't adjust the rear brakes on my Miata.

THERE IS AN ADJUSTMENT SCREW ON THE CALIPER

This means he clamped the pistons when installing the new pads instead of backing out the adjustment screw and broke both rear calipers. I never brought my car back to that jackass.

Denver Is Stuck In The 90s > TheHondaBro
12/14/2014 at 11:21

The honda dealer told my parents that the motor mounts on the Ody were cracked, that was 65,000 miles ago and the engine hasnt lept out from under the hood yet. Considering the way I drove it I'd say that statement was complete bullshit

macanamera > TheHondaBro
12/14/2014 at 11:29

Want to bill me three hours at 120/ hour for pad swap all around.

Vicente Esteve > TheHondaBro
12/14/2014 at 11:44

They told me an OEM Radio for a 2001 Volkswagen would cost $1300 Dollars.

E. Julius > TheHondaBro
12/14/2014 at 11:51

Not a lie, but the Honda dealer told me it would be $350 to replace a side view mirror. Granted the OEM part was a good chunk of it, but I got an acceptable replacement for $25 and did the swap in 10 minutes with one wrench.

SVTyler > TheHondaBro
12/14/2014 at 12:00

I swear dealerships think anyone under 20 is absolutely retarded:

Mechanic: Y'know, your car's leaking a lot of coolant (it wasn't, or the coolant fairy was magically refilling my reservoir every night)

Me: Oh, really? From where?

Mechanic: There's this thing called a thermostat housing *explains in overly technical terms like I'm an idiot child* that are notorious for failing on these cars (which they are, and why I got a non-OEM replacement). A lot of times they leak in places you can't see so that's probably why you haven't noticed a puddle or anything.

Me: Well, it's a good thing thing I replaced mine about three months ago with a custom-built housing that's warrantied for a year and 10k miles.

Mechanic: Oh, well it must be from something else then, we'll do a full diag and find where it's coming from *bullshits for a few more sentences* should only be about $140.

Me: Lolno.

This is the same place that tried to charge me $300 for a single new key, and were offended when I laughed in their face. Needless to say they've lost my business.

wrblue11 > TheHondaBro
12/14/2014 at 12:02

under subaru warranty, all wear items are covered. this includes pads and rotors. last year i needed them replaced and the service manager acted like he did it for free because it was Christmas, and told me to not forget about him if i was feeling generous. well i was feeling generous, and instead of reporting him to the owners of the dealership before charismas, i waited till after

sellphones2493 > TheHondaBro
12/14/2014 at 12:09

Last October, I take my car to the dealer to install my winter tires. They install them, I ask the mechanic about my brakes - they say they look great and don't need replacement (they were cheapo metallic brakes and squeaked a lot).

Two days later, my car doesn't start, even with a jump and whatnot. It gets towed to the dealer, and it ends up being corrosion or something with the lines to the battery.

They then proceed to tell me I need new brakes and rotors because I neglected to change them in a timely manner.

My brakes were absolutely fine, but they could at least have waited more than 48 hours to change their opinion about my brakes...

Funktheduck > TheHondaBro
12/14/2014 at 12:13

Earlier this year after having a couple recalls taken care of my car wouldn't start. Shortly after leaving the dealership. Had it towed there right before closing. Figured out it was the starter. They told me it would be $500+, half of that was labor.(2 1/2 hours worth). I asked why it would take so long. The mechanic said its a lot to take off to get to the starter that was just under the air intake. He said it's complicated because you have to remove the intake. They wouldn't get the part in for a couple days anyway so I was able to look into the process/costs. They wanted to charge me $225 for the part with a 6 month warranty. I got one from autozone for $80 and a lifetime warranty (I was still planning on keeping the car at this point). It took me 45 mins and if I had to do it again I could do it in 30. I didn't have to take off the intake, I just had to undo the tube that ran from the air box to the throttle body. I did it in under half the time they bill for and a third of the cost of the part with a better warranty. Don't go to the dealer for service if you don't have to.

XSeriesWalkingDead > TheHondaBro
12/14/2014 at 12:14

My finance bought a used 2013 Subaru Forester. She'd owned it for a couple months when she had a dead battery. While under the hood, I decided to check the oil. I was more than a little shocked to find the dipstick only having oil on the tip, well below the add oil line. It had only been about 2000 miles since the last oil change. After adding almost 2 quarts of oil to bring it back to the full line, the car was taken to the Ford dealer where the car was purchased. The service advisor informed her that had her vehicle been a Ford, the dipstick would protrude lower into the oilpan and not have indicated that it was in such desperate need of oil. Unbelievable the things these guys come up with.

blacktruck18 > TheHondaBro
12/14/2014 at 12:19

Not a dealer but 2 different Firestones.

I took an old truck I had there to get an oil change done. I had bought the oil and filter already but, I hadn't had time to change it yet. I called them prior to dropping of the truck and told them I already had the oil and filter and I just needed them to do the work. They told me it would be no problem and it would cost $19.99 for just the labor. When Mrs. Blacktruck and I dropped the truck off I again told them to use the oil I supplied that was in the back of the truck. Which the manager agreed to.

When I went to pick up the truck the manager tells me the brakes are shot and it needs $1200 in brake work or he "legally" cannot let me take the truck due to it "failing Washington state safety inspection," first off there is no such thing as a Washington state safety inspection and second, I had replaced all the pads and rotors myself about 3 months prior. So I was pretty sure they were not "worn down below the legal limit." I told him to fuck off and give me my keys. He sticks to the legal thing. I hand him $20 and tell him to give me my keys back or I would use my wife's keys to take the truck anyway and drive to the police station and report my keys stolen. He then gives up on the legal brake thing and asks what the $20 is for I told him the oil change he then tells me the oil change was $110. I am like WTF. I remind him that when I dropped the truck of the oil and filter were in the back and that he had agreed to do the work for $19.95. He says the the oil I supplied was synthetic (true) and that in Washington due to the age of the vehicle they cannot "legally" but the synthetic oil in the truck (not true) and, since there was synthetic in it when I dropped it off they had to "use a special formula to get all the remnants of the synthetic oil out." I started laughing walked behind the counter took my keys of the wall picked up my $20 off the counter. I then walked out of the store backwards flipping him off with both hands the whole way.

When I got home I called Firestone customer service and complained they apologized said the manager would get fired and they sent us a Firestone gift card card for $50. We never used it.

Second time, happened while I was in Afghanistan in 2011. I had shown Mrs Blacktruck how to do some basic stuff (fill the washer fluid, put air in the tires, stuff like that) to her Volvo and told her if it needed anything else done she was supposed to take it to the Volvo dealership and only talk to my buddy who is a Service Manager there, no, not the Cookie Monster. Her Tire Pressure light came on and she didn't feel like going to the dealership so she goes to the Firestone up the street from our house and asks them to put air in the tires. They end up charging her $350 to do a tire rotation, fuel system treatment and put air in the tires. The next time I call home she says "I think I messed up," and tells me what happened. I got online and found the Firestone Customer Service # again and call them. After a little arguing they apologize and tell me to send my wife back to the place to get a refund. When she went over there the manager gives her the refund and slips her his number.

When she got home she called Firestone customer service and complained they apologized said the manager would get fired and they sent us a Firestone gift card card for $50. We never used it.

daender > TheHondaBro
12/14/2014 at 12:24

"We don't know how to fix it, there's nothing wrong."

Bullshit, Mazda, I just had to reset the ECU by disconnecting the battery for 25 minutes to get rid of my Miata's unstable cold idle.

shop-teacher > TheHondaBro
12/14/2014 at 12:30

Recently I had a lightly sticking caliper, so when I brought it in for other warranty work, I asked them to grease the slides. They called to inform me that I needed new pads and rotors. I declined.

When I picked the car up, I asked how needing pads and rotors would cause the brakes to only make noise when I let off the brakes, and went to accelerate. "Oh, the sensor goes out too far when things are worn, and doesn't retract right away." Riiiiiight.

Well, the check engine light on the way home, so I went to a different dealer. I asked them to grease the sticky caliper, and inspect the brakes. Which they did, and found nothing wrong.

Sir Halffast > TheHondaBro
12/14/2014 at 12:33

Oh, your canister vent shut valve needs replaced (the $5 dongle)? We'll have to replace the entire wiring harness because otherwise we can't guarantee the repair (car is out of warranty), and the other shop might screw it up. Thanks Honda, and fuck off. I'll have my other guy do the repair for $20 (including labor), and take my chances.

HammerheadFistpunch > blacktruck18
12/14/2014 at 12:39

I also don't have great stories from firestone, but nothing as bad as hitting on my wife while deployed. that is pretty damn low.

My experience was getting their lifetime alignment on the Subaru, and after 3 attempts at it I took to a different Firestone to see if they could do better. Talked to this baddass manager with a c5 z06 named something like "boss" no seriously, that was his name...or something like it. Anyway, he showed my it was WAY out and that the bolts for the adjustment had never been turned. He mentioned that its common practice in some firestones for their managers to teach their techs to sit on the corner of the car that needs adjustment until the machine reads true. He also mentioned that he's fired two people for doing it.

His alignment took.

bingham123 > TheHondaBro
12/14/2014 at 12:44

I took our family car (Vauxhall zafira) to a good friends garage for its m.o.t in September. He had just hired a new guy and once the mot had Finnish I went to collect and pay the £30 for it. I knew it would pass as I had spent about 3days checking things and replacing broken/worn out things. Anyway I got in the office and the new guy told me it had failed for a whole bunch of reasons.... Right engine mount cracked, radiator leaking, horn not working, gearbox leaking, worn out brakes and tires and finally 3 broken springs. He then tried to keep the car because he "cant let a shit hole like that be on the road" i asked him to show me and found that he had poked a hole in my 2week old radiator and made the rest of the stuff up and then tried to charge me £3000 for repairs. Needless to say he no longer works there or anywhere near cars anymore, oh and he kindly paid for a new radiator.... After i removed his wallet off him. My £30 radiator cost him £600ish.

blacktruck18 > HammerheadFistpunch
12/14/2014 at 12:45

At least you found someone who gave a shit. I will never go near a Firestone again. If my truck was to catch fire and a man in Firestone uniform ran up with a fire extinguisher I would not even let him but out the fire.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > TheHondaBro
12/14/2014 at 13:04

Took my Land Rover to the dealer in Willow Grove, PA.

Dealer: "All your running light bulbs need to be replaced because they are burnt out."

Me: How can all the bulbs go at the same time? Did you check the fuse?

Dealer: "Yes, all the bulbs are burnt out"

I check the fuse to find that it is burnt out. I asked the guy "which retard checked my truck" and he said that he did it. Asked for my keys back and have never returned. Fuck those guys.

Once my Jag for state inspection and the guy at the shop tried to tell me that my injectors on my car needed cleaning (at 52000 miles) and the service was $150 to flush the system. I declined.

MR2_FTW - Group J's resident Stig > Roadster Man
12/14/2014 at 13:11

To be fair, the adjustment procedure on Miata rear brakes is really odd.

thebigbossyboss > TheHondaBro
12/14/2014 at 13:16

Told me a correct heater control module (the knobs and switches that control cabin heat) for a Cavalier would be $330 dollars for the part alone. Yeah right.

Roadster Man > MR2_FTW - Group J's resident Stig
12/14/2014 at 13:40

Yeah, that's true. But that's why I hired a mechanic to do it! I even left a Haynes shop manual in the passenger's seat for him...

BZiel > TheHondaBro
12/14/2014 at 13:58

We've heard some real horror stories over the years from customers who were either ripped off by dealerships, or, who smelled a rat upfront and came to us for a second opinion.

The most blatant one I remember involved a 80+ year old woman driving a nearly new Cadillac that only had about 1000 miles on it. She had gone to the dealer complaining of a "severe pull" and that the car wouldn't hold a straight line. The dealer told her it would be something like $3000 to replace the control arms, shocks, tie rods, ball joints, and all other assorted suspension and steering components and that none of it was covered under warranty because it was "obvious that she had hit something causing the damages." Fortunately, she got all of this in writing from them.

Then she came to see us for a quote and second opinion.

The first thing we did was test drive the car...and sure enough...you could barely hold the thing on the road it pulled so hard to the right. We put the car on the rack and began diagnosing the problem. We could find no damages or signs of impact whatsoever or any structural defects. then we lowered the car back down and pushed down on each corner. When we got tot the front right we could push the car down until it bottomed out.

Turns out, it was a defective shock absorber.

About $250 all told, if memory serves.

TheHondaBro > Vicente Esteve
12/14/2014 at 14:31

"But you have to ship it from Stuttgart, you know!!!!"

TheHondaBro > thebigbossyboss
12/14/2014 at 14:32

But they're made out of MYRRH!!

TheHondaBro > E. Julius
12/14/2014 at 14:33

I guess Honda dealerships just assume that Honda drivers know nothing about cars.

TheHondaBro > Denver Is Stuck In The 90s
12/14/2014 at 14:33

Same happened to my Accord, but the mechanic even offered to take me into the shop and show me, and sure enough, the engine was bouncing all over the place like an asshole.

TheHondaBro > blacktruck18
12/14/2014 at 14:39

Holy shit I'd be steaming.

I just don't trust any tire place other than Costco. My dad once took his old Acura 3.2CL Type-S to a Les Schwab, and they insisted that EVERYTHING needed to be replaced, like the tires, the brakes, everything. They weren't hesitant at all.

And Costco? They gave me a free tire after I accidentally ripped the sidewall of my one-month old tire.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > TheHondaBro
12/14/2014 at 14:40

Another not a dealer, but a couple of years ago my 4Runner had it's second scheduled head gasket failure. I took it to a local shop that was relatively well reputed(or so I thought, apparently they weren't). The guy tells me it would take 50, yes 50 hours to do this at $100 an hour, yes $100 an hour on a '95 Toyota. He then proceeds to say it's not worth it, but he'd take it off my hands for $500, because his son would like the wheels an tires. I laughed and went home and started looking again. Justice was served, unrelated(or possibly a string of relations), but the shop is closed. ha. ha. ha.

TheHondaBro > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
12/14/2014 at 14:43

It's almost as if he didn't want the business.

Seriously, $5,000 for labor?

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > TheHondaBro
12/14/2014 at 14:45

Yes. Apparently he needed the business. It isn't that big of a job, I just had no where to do it, nor did I have the tools.

Vicente Esteve > TheHondaBro
12/14/2014 at 15:20

I honestly believe they would take it from a junk yard or something.

Tohru > TheHondaBro
12/14/2014 at 15:45

Not a dealer, but a transmission shop.

My '97 Escort experienced partial transmission failure at Interstate speed, causing me to lose both Drive and Overdrive. Only 1st and 2nd would work. I limped it to work at 40mph, and after work went to a big transmission place right near work.

The counter guy took it for a short test drive with me and said that the 3-4 gear clutch had failed. I had access to tools and a lift, so I could get the old transmission out. When we got back to the shop, I said, "So if I take the trans out of the car and set it on your counter, how much to fix it?" Without even batting an eye, the guy says, "$1200." I had bought the car for $1100 about 12 months ago. I looked at him incredulously and said, "I don't want to buy a whole new car, I just want the transmission fixed." He replied, "That's what it costs to fix those. They're prone to failure and we'll probably have to replace most if not all of the internals."

I left. The next day I went to a salvage yard near my house and bought a used transmission for $200.

TheHondaBro > Tohru
12/14/2014 at 15:55

That's what I want to be able to do eventually. Does the *new* transmission work?

Sith Lord Sexy Pants > TheHondaBro
12/14/2014 at 17:05

Here's another Honda dealer story. Probably won't rank, but I'll share anyway.

2000 Accord coupe. Purchased new. Still under warranty. Warped the rear brake rotor(s). Took it to the dealer with my own diagnosis. Retrieved the car later that same day, supposedly with the rotors resurfaced. On the drive home I do a brake check. Pedal pulses. WTF? Get home, inspect the rotors and find the rears untouched, but the fronts freshly surfaceds.

Needless to say, I gave the service manager and ear full. Don't recall whether or not I paid for that abuse.

Ironically the purchase of that car from that dealer ranks as one of my better experiences.

JGrabowMSt > TheHondaBro
12/14/2014 at 17:46

"There's nothing wrong with this car."

Tohru > TheHondaBro
12/14/2014 at 17:49

This happened years ago. The used trans worked for two years, then the diff grenaded.

orcim > Tohru
12/15/2014 at 01:20

Oh boy.. I love my 97' escort to death, but I've been through the engine, the head, the tranny, argh. Luckily, I've got an old boy tranny shop an hour away from here that can drop it, fix it, and put it back in in the same day. Frickin' amazing since it took me days to just get it out initially the first time. Obviously, they use magic. Just wish I'd known that initially.