Dear Dominos Pizza

"SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O)" (sammauri) 12/09/2014 at 21:31 • Filed to: None

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It has come to my attention that two hours have past since I placed my order. If my pizza is cold when it gets here, which it will be, I will tar and feather the delivery guy and send his head back to you in a FUCKING PIZZA BOX. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. That was uncalled for. But this is unacceptable. Remember the days of 30 minutes or less? I realize you threw out that policy in order to improve product quality, but if you take 2 goddamn hours to delivered an order it better be crusted in gold and amethyst and be delivered in a box made out of a single piece of the finest ebony with a fucking diamond the size of my fist sitting in the middle of my buffalo chicken pizza. If I receive ANYTHING less than what I just described, I will not pay for it.

And do that tar and feathering thing we were just talking about.

Tip? Yo, your tip went flying out the window half an hour ago buddy.

Sincerely,
A college student who is currently studying for exams and needs dinner

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) 12/09/2014 at 21:34

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The noid must have gotten to it. Your pizza is fucked, man.

Funktheduck > SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) 12/09/2014 at 21:35

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I worked at papa johns for about 2 1/2 years. It's often not the driver's fault. It depends on the store though.

Round headlight enthusiast > SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) 12/09/2014 at 21:35

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ughhhh Dominos. Do you not have any local pizza places? I will go out of my way to avoid their sad excuse for pizza.

scoob > SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) 12/09/2014 at 21:36

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!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

Well there's your problem.

SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) > Round headlight enthusiast 12/09/2014 at 21:37

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I can pay for Dominos and only Dominos with "dining dollars" which means it's worked into my meal plan so I don't really have to actually pay for it right now. I would never order Dominos if I had the option.

SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) > Funktheduck 12/09/2014 at 21:38

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Usually not, but I've been staring hungrily at the tracker thing and it's been "out for delivery" for over an hour. I'm not sure how accurate it is, but on a busy night it takes 25 minutes max for the actual delivery portion of things.

SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 12/09/2014 at 21:40

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The Noid will pay for this...

SVTyler > SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) 12/09/2014 at 21:41

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Keep in mind the drivers deliver multiple pizzas on one trip and the dude's likely hung up on another order: can't find the house, people won't answer, can't pay, etc. Don't shoot the messenger, the poor dude's working a shit job for not nearly enough money and the last thing he needs is to be yelled at for things outside of his control.

Source: another delivery driver.

SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) > scoob 12/09/2014 at 21:41

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I know, but I can use university "dining dollars" to pay for Dominos and I'm broke so it's my only option.

Funktheduck > SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) 12/09/2014 at 21:41

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Probably the driver then. May have forgotten you. Or they have a severely screwed up inside and checked it out before it was supposed to.

SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) > SVTyler 12/09/2014 at 21:42

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I wouldn't yell at him. I know it's probably not his fault, but I'm also not going to shell out extra cash for a cold pizza that I ordered 2 hours and 27 minutes ago.

Round headlight enthusiast > SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) 12/09/2014 at 21:43

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Noooo they could at least put Pizza Hut on the meal plan, or even cook their own pizza like my friend's university does. Domino's is just awful. And Poppa John's. We don't have little Caesars around here, so maybe that might work.

SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) > Funktheduck 12/09/2014 at 21:44

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Maybe. I'm currently trying to call to see what's up, but the phone's been ringing for 15 minutes. The recorded voice is giving me a migraine. Not the best way to calm down an already annoyed customer.

Funktheduck > SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) 12/09/2014 at 21:45

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Sounds like the nightmare stories we used to tell. It always ended in people getting fired.

SVTyler > SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) 12/09/2014 at 21:47

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Fair enough, but be sure to ask the guy what the deal was before deciding not to tip him. Call the store back and bitch and you'll probably get to keep the cold food while they remake your order and run back to you in addition to getting it for free.

SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) > Round headlight enthusiast 12/09/2014 at 21:53

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They do cook their own pizza but it's been pouring all day and the dining hall with the good pizza is not close. And I figured ordering in would save time so I could keep studying... Guess not.

theandysho - drives a SHO > SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) 12/09/2014 at 23:09

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Man I don't know what school you're going to, but that right there is a reason to stop.

gergey - Wishes vette was Datsun > SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) 12/10/2014 at 03:02

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sooooo..... did you ever get your pizza? What was the resolution? Was the driver shot while delivering the last order? Did he give it to a homeless guy? Was he driving Doug's Ferrari?

SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) > gergey - Wishes vette was Datsun 12/10/2014 at 08:14

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Well after 2 and a half hours I called the store. After waiting on the phone for over half an hour someone finally picked up and told me (and I'm quoting here) "we're busy. That's the reality of it" and immediately hung up on me. No "I'm sorry for the inconvenience" or explanation of any kind. 15 or so minutes after that my pizza showed up. Total running time: 3 hours and 20 minutes. The pizza was pretty cold and I had to put a few slices in the microwave, which sucks.

But the best part? 2 hours later, at a few minutes after midnight, I got a call from another dominos delivery guy telling me that my pizza was here and that he was outside... Uh, what? maybe the hadn't heard from the first delivery guy (who barely escaped with his life after giving me the side eye when I politely asked what happened) and sent another one? But at that point it would have been 5 and a half hours after my initial order so I'm not sure.