How To Get Laid & Have Sex

"Raphmoe" (raphmoe)
12/08/2014 at 11:25 • Filed to: raphmoe, journalism, journalismism, tips

Buy a Toyota Corolla:

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DISCUSSION (31)

Cherry_man1 > Raphmoe
12/08/2014 at 11:26

Toyota don't kid yourselves. You will lose points with that.

BlurpleToyotaDishwasher > Cherry_man1
12/08/2014 at 11:27

As the owner of a blurple Toyota Corolla, can confirm.

Raphmoe > Cherry_man1
12/08/2014 at 11:27

those jeggings say otherwise, *whistles*

For Sweden > Raphmoe
12/08/2014 at 11:28

How To Get Laid & Have Sex For Women

Pool any money normally spent on appearances; makeup, gym membership, haircuts, healthy food, etc.

Use this money to buy a sports car or sportbike

Take your pick*

*Quantity, not quality, guaranteed.

Cherry_man1 > Raphmoe
12/08/2014 at 11:29

not even.

Raphmoe > For Sweden
12/08/2014 at 11:30

this is why i find jalops sexy, money spent on sports cars and sportbikes make me want to have sex

PS9 > Raphmoe
12/08/2014 at 11:31

You don't wanna have a busted condom moment with the kind of person who will only lay you because you're driving a supercar or whatever. That's someone who will have no scruples about bleeding you dry.

Raphmoe > PS9
12/08/2014 at 11:32

what is a condom?

OPPOsaurus WRX > Raphmoe
12/08/2014 at 11:34

it kinda looks like the dude in the dark blue has a "man" purse

Funktheduck > BlurpleToyotaDishwasher
12/08/2014 at 11:34

I like that color.

kanadanmajava1 > Raphmoe
12/08/2014 at 11:34

"How To Get Laid & Have Sex"

And? Is it possible to get laid but not have sex? I thought that sex is always included when someone "gets laid". Or is the situation when someone has the opportunity but a certain part doesn't become operational?

Milky > Raphmoe
12/08/2014 at 11:35

Obligatory 'shop from last week.

Kinja'd!!!

PS9 > Raphmoe
12/08/2014 at 11:36

Kinja'd!!!

Well, you can't live in them. That's for sure.

Funktheduck > Raphmoe
12/08/2014 at 11:37

I saw a new corolla go the wrong way down a one way parking lot at Starbucks this morning. They backed into an angled parking spot, parked over the line and so close to the other car that it'll make it very difficult for the poor soul she parked next to

Raphmoe > kanadanmajava1
12/08/2014 at 11:37

it depends on lubrication and timing

Raphmoe > Funktheduck
12/08/2014 at 11:38

what a fuckupaccino

Funktheduck > Raphmoe
12/08/2014 at 11:39

Does that come in venti?

claramag, Mustaco Master > Raphmoe
12/08/2014 at 11:45

How To REALLY Get Laid In A Corolla (And Maybe Even Have Sex!)

1: Strip out interior to bare metal

2: Install ToyoYamaha 2ZZ

3: Rally tyres/mud flaps

4: "Corally"

5: Get REALLY popular with the Corally, like McRae/Block popular

6: Realize you're still driving a Corolla and it will never get you laid

7: Hold sale on ebay motors

8: Project appears on Jalopnik FP as NPOCP

9: You are now FP material

10: Sex

Osiris - I can haz Euro spec? > Milky
12/08/2014 at 11:53

yamahog > For Sweden
12/08/2014 at 11:57

1. Look feminine enough and appear over age 12

2. Take your pick*

FTFY

nermal > Funktheduck
12/08/2014 at 11:59

The car or the jeggings?

For Sweden > yamahog
12/08/2014 at 11:59

ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

nermal > For Sweden
12/08/2014 at 12:05

Nah, that's more like How To Get Random Dudes To Annoy You.

A BMW 3-series Lease Special (tm) will do you just fine with the ladies. It's the ideal middle ground of nice cars, it's a nice place to be and shows that you can afford and appreciate something nice. Anything less and you are a pleibiean, anything more and you're showing off. On the whole, they're really a good deal as far as TCO, and great to drive relative to the alternatives.

Funktheduck > nermal
12/08/2014 at 12:06

Car. Leggings colors don't matter to me

EL_ULY > Raphmoe
12/08/2014 at 12:07

i wish I had the money to get one. using Tony Montana logic, your statement is true. Dat blue! So rad

For Sweden > nermal
12/08/2014 at 12:12

BMW is too basic

yamahog > For Sweden
12/08/2014 at 12:19

At least for me, my sisters, and most of the women I talk with, the catcalling/sexual attention from men started when we were around 10-14, and 12-year-old me definitely wasn't spending $$$ on looking good, would rather just sell Girl Scout cookies or go to the Harry Potter movie in peace.

....that got depressing :/

For Sweden > yamahog
12/08/2014 at 12:20

I don't doubt that's true, but there's already too much "You're not a real woman unless men desire you" pressure in this world.

I'm not going to pile on with more.

yamahog > For Sweden
12/08/2014 at 12:29

Yea, I'm not disagreeing, just saying the bar is even lower than spending money on appearances or cars.

For Sweden > yamahog
12/08/2014 at 12:31

Agreed, though this is a Raphmoe post. There is no room for the sober discussion of reality here.

Snooder87 > PS9
12/08/2014 at 12:45

Jokes on them. I got a vasectomy.