I have invented an infinite energy generator

"PanchoVilleneuve ST" (PanchoVilleneuve) 12/07/2014 at 17:44 • Filed to: I'm worried about Pancho guys, Keep Oppo Weird

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The other night, while I was unable to sleep since I was too busy shivering in the cold because my girlfriend had managed to steal the entire blanket from me, I had a stroke of genius.

A girlfriend's ability to steal a blanket is the most powerful force in the universe. The strength of her pull on the blanket overpowers all known laws of physics. The only thing I can deduce that influences this truly incredible amount of pull is the fact that I love her, since nobody else has been so successful in pulling anything from my grasp.

Therefore, it stands to reason, that using the formula X + X + Y x Z, where X is a woman, Y is a blanket, and Z is love, a lesbian couple sharing a bed would cause a blanket to expand at the speed of light, therefore creating infinite energy.

Seriously, guys, this is important. If control of the world's energy is the main cause of major armed conflict, the infinite energy created by lesbian blankets will end all war. And then a golden age will begin. We will reverse climate change by dotting the landscape with zero emission lesbian blanket power plants, ending our reliance on fossil fuels. We will take to the stars using the infinite energy provided by lesbian blankets to make the Alcubierre drive not only feasible, but commonplace. We will subjugate the galaxy using advanced lesbian blanket-powered particle cannons mounted on lesbian blanket-powered battlecruisers. We have the lesbians. We have the blankets. Nothing can stop us. The galactic epoch of mankind is now. Weep for all who stand before us.

Brian Silvestro > PanchoVilleneuve ST 12/07/2014 at 17:47

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bob and john > PanchoVilleneuve ST 12/07/2014 at 17:47

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...
put down the alcohol.

claramag, Mustaco Master > PanchoVilleneuve ST 12/07/2014 at 17:47

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"Humanity's new era was marshaled in by the harvesting of the power of the L Word"
"Love?"
"No Scott, the other L Word"

Racescort666 > PanchoVilleneuve ST 12/07/2014 at 17:50

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I still think the cat-toast generator is the most promising.

JR1 > PanchoVilleneuve ST 12/07/2014 at 17:50

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I will become your first investor! Here is a dollar

VonBelmont > PanchoVilleneuve ST 12/07/2014 at 17:53

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I still think rough gay wolfsex is best way

#skypeinjokes

45bullets > PanchoVilleneuve ST 12/07/2014 at 18:00

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MultiplaOrgasms > PanchoVilleneuve ST 12/07/2014 at 18:01

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PanchoVilleneuve ST > Racescort666 12/07/2014 at 20:44

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We need to find two lesbian cats.

66671 - 200 [METRIC] my dash > PanchoVilleneuve ST 12/07/2014 at 22:31

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So would these lesbians be like slaves to humanity in order to produce infinite amounts of power, resulting in an underground resistance of those who wish to free the enslaved lesbians from the bindings of free energy????????????

PanchoVilleneuve ST > 66671 - 200 [METRIC] my dash 12/07/2014 at 23:05

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They aren't really enslaved, since generators using this technology only work when both women are asleep, since if they were awake, they would be accommodating and communicative and able to share the blanket, thus negating the formula. Only in the unconscious state of sleep do women generate what I'm calling the PanchoVilleneuve Blanket Theft Effect, requiring little more of the lesbian couple than getting into bed, covering themselves with a single blanket, and falling asleep.

All there is to do is politely ask every lesbian in the world to agree to allow the installation of a Blanket Expansion Energy Receiver in their homes. And who would say no? There are no cons to having a B.E.E.R. in the bedroom, and the pros include world peace, particle cannons and galactic supremacy.

Honestly, lesbians of the world, is avoiding the mild inconvenience of being at home for a licensed B.E.E.R. installation technician between the hours of 9 am and 3 pm on Tuesday through Thursday of next week really worth allowing the Tau Ceti Empire to become the dominant force in this galactic quadrant? Is calling out from work for 3 days somehow worse than living under the regime of Emperor Garathaxus? I didn't think so!

66671 - 200 [METRIC] my dash > PanchoVilleneuve ST 12/07/2014 at 23:24

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Oh ok.