The LS Won't Start Update It Just Started!

"Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire" (arch-duke-maxyenko) 12/06/2014 at 12:24 • Filed to: None

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Thanks for ruining the weekend, Jaguar. The Battery is being charged, but it should have had enough of a charge to crank the motor over. The alternator could have died letting the battery die, but we can't test the alternator until it starts. It's looking like it might be the starter because when you turn the keys you here the solenoid click but then there is nothing, not even an attempt to turn over. Worst part is that it's blocking the driveway with the passenger's side close to a fence so it's not like we could even get to the starter or the alternator or even go get parts. Fucking unreliable turd.

ly2v8-Brian > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 12/06/2014 at 12:28

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ah the joys of British motoring...

Cé hé sin > ly2v8-Brian 12/06/2014 at 12:32

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Oooh, that happened to me recently. Japanese car though...

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 12/06/2014 at 12:35

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Jag-u-ain't (going anywhere today)

EL_ULY > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 12/06/2014 at 12:36

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beat the starter with something while someone cranks it

Goshen, formerly Darkcode > ly2v8-Brian 12/06/2014 at 12:36

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Made all the funnier by the car not being British.

Goshen, formerly Darkcode > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 12/06/2014 at 12:36

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If yours is the V8, get the chains from a 4.2. The 4.0's break all the time.

EL_ULY > Cé hé sin 12/06/2014 at 12:37

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Every car :] All brands, all countries. Yay cars!

ly2v8-Brian > Goshen, formerly Darkcode 12/06/2014 at 12:38

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It has just enough Britishness to cause joy apparently.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > EL_ULY 12/06/2014 at 12:38

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Can't get to it.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Goshen, formerly Darkcode 12/06/2014 at 12:38

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It's a 3.9

ly2v8-Brian > Cé hé sin 12/06/2014 at 12:39

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Everyone gets a chance to participate in the fun.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Goshen, formerly Darkcode 12/06/2014 at 12:39

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It's mostly a Jaguar.

cbell04 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 12/06/2014 at 12:39

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Check the ground wires. Can def def definitely be a loose connection.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > cbell04 12/06/2014 at 12:40

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Can't get to it

Goshen, formerly Darkcode > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 12/06/2014 at 12:40

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Your average car buyer would never guess it.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Goshen, formerly Darkcode 12/06/2014 at 12:41

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Until they see the parts that say Jaguar on them or Lucas.

GeorgeyBoy > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 12/06/2014 at 12:42

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What's your pats light doing? Have you had the signs of a failing battery, check parking brake, gauge sweep. Is it the proper vented battery? Try a different key. Starters are not a trouble spot.

Goshen, formerly Darkcode > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 12/06/2014 at 12:42

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Well, go shop for '02+ Jaguar V8 timing belts.

I know the 4.2 got a much improved timing belt tensioner system which was afaik the only big failure point on the 4.0s. They're interchangeable though so a lot of older Jags have the newer system fitted.

From BiTurbo228, a few months ago. I'd trust his words.

Goshen, formerly Darkcode > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 12/06/2014 at 12:42

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Silly Maxyenko, average people don't wrench on cars! That's what car mechanics are paid to do!

GeorgeyBoy > Goshen, formerly Darkcode 12/06/2014 at 12:44

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The genII ls has updated tensioners. The chains are not the problem.

Tohru > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 12/06/2014 at 12:44

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Push it into traffic

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > GeorgeyBoy 12/06/2014 at 12:45

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battery is charging, no funky electronics and the car has well over 100k so a failed starter doesn't surprise me

Goshen, formerly Darkcode > GeorgeyBoy 12/06/2014 at 12:45

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I wouldn't know his is a post-facelift one.

GeorgeyBoy > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 12/06/2014 at 12:46

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Still pats light not blinking? Starters are rarely a problem.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Goshen, formerly Darkcode 12/06/2014 at 12:46

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The trunk latch cover has the jaguar logo on it and it's right in your face when you open the trunk.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Goshen, formerly Darkcode 12/06/2014 at 12:46

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This is an 03.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Goshen, formerly Darkcode 12/06/2014 at 12:47

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It says Jaguar on the black trunk latch cover, which is in your face when you open the trunk.

Goshen, formerly Darkcode > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 12/06/2014 at 12:47

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Never underestimate unintentional blindness.

EL_ULY > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 12/06/2014 at 12:47

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you can't open the hood? Hop on the engine and find a way to beat its ass! If not, move everything else and push start that thing

cbell04 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 12/06/2014 at 12:48

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Cant drag it away from what blocking it a bit? Maybe a rolling jack under it and mule? :)

Goshen, formerly Darkcode > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 12/06/2014 at 12:48

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I see, I didn't know it.

GeorgeyBoy > Goshen, formerly Darkcode 12/06/2014 at 12:49

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Actually the 2002s have the fix as well.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > EL_ULY 12/06/2014 at 12:50

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No, the hood can open, but the starter is blocked by the inner fender liner. Bump starting is not an option.

EL_ULY > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 12/06/2014 at 12:57

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Chet! I guess I have to actually be there with you to look around and find a solution

GeorgeyBoy > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 12/06/2014 at 13:04

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I see it started, I suggest replacing the battery right away with the proper vented one. A dying battery can easily kill the alternator, I wouldn't ask my worst enemy to do that job, it's that bad. Also if it is the alternator only replace with oem, trust me. Hopefully the battery is just old and there is no parasitic drain, I've seen problems ranging from the PCM which is very common on 03s to corroded relays in the trunk.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > EL_ULY 12/06/2014 at 13:13

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it just started

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > GeorgeyBoy 12/06/2014 at 13:16

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Battery is from 3/2012 but the battery tester is saying that it's load isn't so hot. Put the battery tender on it for now. We'll check it in a couple of hours.

GeorgeyBoy > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 12/06/2014 at 13:22

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What kind of battery tester? Mines from 09 and still going strong, knock on wood. I would start testing the alt. If it's the alt and battery combo it's not the worst that could happen on a LS. Pretty sad when I'm saying a $400 repair isn't bad.

EL_ULY > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 12/06/2014 at 13:22

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Aaaaarrrrggggghhhhh! That's good lol :] It sounds like a dead spot on the starter. Maybe you can just do the windings.

My e28 would overheat a lot. I once went to a drive thru, turned it off so it wont overheat while in line...wouldn't turn back on because of the same thing. In a panic from people honking, i beat the shit out of my starter with a rod I had for this situation.... cracked the starter housing and internals.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > GeorgeyBoy 12/06/2014 at 13:27

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Used a Ford Battery tester.

Alternator tested just fine voltage reading about 14.3 V with everything on.

Thinking that it's just a bad battery, and that's still under it's warranty.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > EL_ULY 12/06/2014 at 13:29

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Going back to just thinking it's the battery, the tester says it's amps aren't up to spec.

GeorgeyBoy > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 12/06/2014 at 13:35

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I only trust a load test.

Here's the shop manual.

http://deneau.info/ls/

EL_ULY > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 12/06/2014 at 13:49

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Possible. Usually they click repeatedly when cranking if so. But it's a good starting point. Might have a bad cell. Do you have any type of warranty on it?