To the a**hole on 316

"Funktheduck" (funktheduck) 11/30/2014 at 13:33 • Filed to: None

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Seriously, just stop being a douche. I hope your engine explodes and you're left on the side of the road in the cold rain in the middle of the night and no tow trucks to help you.

To clarify for anyone wondering this left lane cruiser in a G37 refused to get over so I went to pass him on the right. He sped up to block me and then matched speed with the cars in the right lane. Speed limit is 65 MPH. He went 85+ to keep me from passing him and then slowed down to as low as 50 to match the other cars. He sped up and moved over for another car but when I went to pass him he matched speed with the car he was going to let pass. Traffic and some red lights allowed me to pass the loser but this crap happens way more often than it should, which is never. It's a weekly thing for me. Some guy in a bro truck or douche in a luxury car can't fathom a lesser vehicle passing them. This guy probably has a tiny peen he is compensating for.

Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. > Funktheduck 11/30/2014 at 13:38

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This kinda thing happens. All. The. Time. People seem to get all emasculated being passed by a Panda so they do all kinds of asshole things to stop me. One thing that happens waaay too often is me getting undertaken. I like to leave a decent gap between the car in front when it's raining or dark because I'm not an asshole. But idiots who cant look a few metres past me assume I'm hogging the lane when really I'm held up by the guy in front. So they undertake in a dumb ass place then end up stuck at the same speed I am the whole time with no gain whatsoever.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Funktheduck 11/30/2014 at 13:41

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Ah yes, the self-appointed citizen patrol. At times like that I just get in the center lane, give the guy in front of me a nice gap, and say, "Fuck it, I'll get there eventually."

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. 11/30/2014 at 13:52

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This happened to me every time i drove my mom's miata. No one respected my space, no one wanted to be passed by me, and I was tailgated often in circumstances that didn't warrant. By the way assholes, tailgating is never warranted.

I'm still in my 20s but I've driven many cars already and it is amazing how people change their driving habits based solely on what I happen to be in at the time. T100? No one fucked with me. Short box pickup? Invisible in a good way. Miata? Let's kill this guy. Integra? Let's race this guy.

norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback > Funktheduck 11/30/2014 at 13:59

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I don't understand why people can't just stay in the right lane. Its not that hard.

Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 11/30/2014 at 13:59

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Yep it's one of the major downsides of small cars, people like to try to push you around. I don't get why tailgaters dont realise a friendly flash of the lights as you get near someone clogging the fast lane works more of the time than getting up their ass. Works pretty often for me, since more often than not the person clogging the lane has just forgotten to move over, the light flash lets them know you're faster and want to get by. Or the person you flash gets pissy and speeds off, either way it works.

My girlfriends mother drives an mg tf like the one below and apparently she gets all kinds of hassle. From pretty aggressive tailgating to people trying to race her. She's considering trading it in for something else mostly because of that.

Funktheduck > Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. 11/30/2014 at 14:18

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I rarely flash my lights because every time I have except once they do what this guy did today and purposely block me.

Brickman > Funktheduck 11/30/2014 at 14:18

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Just because I drive a mommy mobile doesn't mean im a slow driver.

Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. > Funktheduck 11/30/2014 at 14:20

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Hmm usually seems to work for me. Some people do just like to be assholes for no reason though.

Funktheduck > Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. 11/30/2014 at 17:00

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I think they take it as "this impatient/rude jerk wants me to move over? F that. I'll slow down. That'll show him"

V8VespaStoppie > Funktheduck 11/30/2014 at 17:06

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I want to pit these dip shits so bad. Here I guess its just a sign of weakness to let any one pass you and get into your lane. Im not really a lead foot, so last time this happend I got really annoyed when this mini van that is going well below the limit floors it as soon as I get next to him. (Should have figured that would happen from a guy who thought it was a good idea to put a wing on a minivan) Passed him as I shook my head and my cousin gave him the finger.

Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. > Funktheduck 11/30/2014 at 17:07

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Probably.

Rainbow > Funktheduck 11/30/2014 at 17:36

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Is this GA 316? I can't drive there for one mile without encountering an asshole. It was especially terrible when they were still working on the Collins Hill Road and Buford Drive overpasses. ESPECIALLY since the lanes didn't line up at the temporary eastbound Buford Drive intersection; the left lane became a left only lane, the right lane became the left lane, and the new right lane just appeared out of nowhere. So people would always be going straight from the left turn lane, and then we'd be going three-wide into a two-lane road, and they'd get mad at ME. If 316 wasn't such a convenient road, I'd never use it.

Funktheduck > Rainbow 11/30/2014 at 17:43

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It is. I drive it almost everyday. If I could I would ban prii, handicap tag cars, and anything over 4 wheels from the left lane.

Rainbow > Funktheduck 11/30/2014 at 17:50

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Amen. Do you drive it closer to Atlanta or Athens? I find that it's a lot better once you're east of Winder, but to the west of that it's just nuts.

Funktheduck > Rainbow 11/30/2014 at 18:00

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I do the whole thing. 85 to Athens and back

Clown Shoe Pilot > Funktheduck 11/30/2014 at 18:47

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Funktheduck > Clown Shoe Pilot 11/30/2014 at 18:49

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That is awesome. I laughed hard.

Clown Shoe Pilot > Funktheduck 11/30/2014 at 18:52

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It's a good move. You can do it solo too. Get alongside Capt. Jackass on the right, make eye contact, and then pretend like you're jerking the wheel at him. Obviously, let it slip through your fingers and hold course.

If you're lucky, he'll need a full interior detail.

Funktheduck > Clown Shoe Pilot 11/30/2014 at 18:57

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Downside could be I get shot (I live in the south) or he gets pissed and overtakes me with his more powerful car and somehow I end up getting my ass beat.

Rainbow > Funktheduck 11/30/2014 at 20:33

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WOW. Is that a regular commute?

Funktheduck > Rainbow 11/30/2014 at 21:35

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Yup. So you're a fan of David Willis' work?

Rainbow > Funktheduck 11/30/2014 at 22:06

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Oh, for sure! I've only actually read DoA, though.