A new series: Particularly Religious Coworker

"Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein) 11/20/2014 at 12:34 • Filed to: Particularly Religious Coworker

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I have a coworker who is super into Jesus. I don't know what brand of Christian she is, but she's a bit too enthusiastic about sharing her beliefs with others. She's basically a walking HR violation. I've !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! , she knows I'm a very un-religious Jew, but she keeps on preaching to me anyway.

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Just one example of Particularly Religious Coworker's propensity towards HR violations, is this flyer posted on the wall in the copier room.

In today's episode of Particularly Religious Coworker, I told her about how !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! .

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Particularly Religious Coworker's response:

"There are no coincidences, it's all pre-ordained by God."

There was basically no way to continue the conversation, so I just kinda said "ok" and avoided getting into it, even though I kinda wanted to tell her I'm pretty sure it's just because car batteries have trouble with the cold.

Oh well, back to work...

CalzoneGolem > Textured Soy Protein 11/20/2014 at 12:38

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I'm a Christian and even I find this annoying.

Anon > Textured Soy Protein 11/20/2014 at 12:38

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Please continue these!

Mattbob > Textured Soy Protein 11/20/2014 at 12:38

5

You really need to troll her. Just don't do anything against HR regulations. Please please troll her.

505Turbeaux > Textured Soy Protein 11/20/2014 at 12:40

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Jesus H Christ

Also as a bonus...

Jayhawk Jake > Textured Soy Protein 11/20/2014 at 12:40

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She should burn in hell for using whatever the fuck this font is

mazda616 > CalzoneGolem 11/20/2014 at 12:41

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Same here. People sure know how to turn others away from any potential faith.

Textured Soy Protein > Jayhawk Jake 11/20/2014 at 12:43

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I poked around in the fonts menu in Word. It is:

Osiris - I can haz Euro spec? > CalzoneGolem 11/20/2014 at 12:43

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Agreed. I don't know if it makes me a bad Christian but I wish there was a way to just tell the hardcore Christians that really, the only thing we need to do is be kind to each other. Help each other out when needed. They don't need to throw the Bible in everyone's faces or use God's name any time they can. It kind of gets annoying.

Nibby > Textured Soy Protein 11/20/2014 at 12:43

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"Hey there. Did you know Jesus built my hotrod..."

Jayhawk Jake > Textured Soy Protein 11/20/2014 at 12:44

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That's worse than comic sans. Especially the word IN, it looks like an M. So does the Y. It all looks like Ms

Luc - The Acadian Oppo > Textured Soy Protein 11/20/2014 at 12:44

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I'm an non practising Catholic and nothing makes me more uncomfortable that the overly religious person. You can believe in what ever the hell you want and I won't judge you for a second but the second you start pushing your beliefs on me, I'm out!

Textured Soy Protein > Mattbob 11/20/2014 at 12:45

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In a previous episode of Particularly Religious Coworker, I complained to her about how car dealers aren't open on Sundays. She said, "Sunday is The Lord's day." I replied,

"Well for those of us who are heathens, we should be allowed to buy cars."

Svend > Textured Soy Protein 11/20/2014 at 12:45

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Tell her a couple of jokes to lighten the mood.

#1

Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room.

She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.

As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom!

When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat.

The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and He could no longer resist. "Miss Beatrice", he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" pointing to the bowl.

"Oh, yes," she replied, "Isn't it wonderful? I was walking Through the Park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter?"

#2

A good Catholic Nun working in a convent next to a construction

site noticed the coarse language of the workers and decided to spend some

time with them to correct their ways.

She decided she would take her lunch; sit with the workers; and

talk with them.

She put her sandwich in a brown bag and walked over to the spot

where the men were eating.

Sporting a big smile, she walked up to the group and asked:

"And do you men know Jesus Christ?"

They shook their heads and looked at each other. Very confused.

One of the workers looked up into the steelworks and yelled out,

"Anybody up there know Jesus Christ?"

One of the steelworkers yelled down, "Why?"'

The worker yelled back, "'Cause his Mum's here with his lunch."

WesBarton89 - The Way to Santa Fe > Textured Soy Protein 11/20/2014 at 12:46

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I tend to shy away from religious discussion, as it causes problems, but, I know people like this, and they just take it too far. I'm not going to look down on anyone for believing in God, Buddha, Allah, Flying Spaghetti Master, whatever. Believe what you want to believe, I won't judge, but there is a line you cannot cross, and you don't want to shove that stuff in people's faces.

Like I said, I tend to just avoid the religious stuff, because it just starts fights a lot of times. But, you have a lot of patience obviously, which is good. She may have her reasons for being super openly devout, she may not. But, that's neither here nor there.

CalzoneGolem > Osiris - I can haz Euro spec? 11/20/2014 at 12:47

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Exactly. This is what brought me to faith. Not preaching in my face but Christians that just lived and loved.

Textured Soy Protein > Anon 11/20/2014 at 12:49

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I have a feeling there will be plenty more episodes to come.

CalzoneGolem > mazda616 11/20/2014 at 12:50

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Some people feel if they are not actively preaching that they are somehow disappointing God. Not all of us are called to be ministers.

Coty > Jayhawk Jake 11/20/2014 at 12:50

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Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Leadbull > Osiris - I can haz Euro spec? 11/20/2014 at 12:50

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Ever seen the twitter feeds of college-aged Christian girls? It literally makes me not be able to even.

I'm like, what are you trying to accomplish? That's not going to pique anyone's interest in Christianity. It's just feeding your own ego and attaching your crazy stigma to the rest of us.

Coty > Textured Soy Protein 11/20/2014 at 12:51

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YES.

I mean, no, care dealers shouldn't be open Sunday 'cause I got shit to do, but YES.

thebigbossyboss > CalzoneGolem 11/20/2014 at 12:52

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I should start going to church again. It's been a while.

TwinCharged - Is Now UK Opponaut > Jayhawk Jake 11/20/2014 at 12:52

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lmao, my history teacher got berated by her lower grade students for using Comic Sans.

"It just isn't cool!"

Mattbob > thebigbossyboss 11/20/2014 at 12:53

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it's just as bad as you remember. Probably worse. Waking up early on sunday isn't worth it.

Svend > Textured Soy Protein 11/20/2014 at 12:54

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I guess they mean't 'richer' and not 'riches'.

The person that posted this in the photocopier room would be $20 richer when I found them as I'd give them the $20 and tell them to go buy a s*x toy and to go f*** themselves.

I hate it when people do that 'by happy because you can be happy, yay love god'.

I believe in humanity, despite everything I see every day.

thebigbossyboss > Mattbob 11/20/2014 at 12:56

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Ha. Well I'm willing to try again.

CalzoneGolem > thebigbossyboss 11/20/2014 at 12:57

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It's never too late.

crowmolly > Nibby 11/20/2014 at 13:00

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I asked him to take the wheel and I hit a tree. So much for salvation.

CalzoneGolem > Leadbull 11/20/2014 at 13:01

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I went to a Christian college. 75% of the population were girls. It was interesting.

thebigbossyboss > CalzoneGolem 11/20/2014 at 13:02

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Looks like this weekend I might have some time so I will make an effort I think.

V12 Jake- Hittin' Switches > Textured Soy Protein 11/20/2014 at 13:02

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Well this should be good !

Osiris - I can haz Euro spec? > CalzoneGolem 11/20/2014 at 13:12

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That's the reason that I absolutely love the new(ish) Pope. I'm not Catholic but damn does he have it right. Just do good things.

But then we have the Westboro Baptist Church making anyone religious look bad.

Osiris - I can haz Euro spec? > Leadbull 11/20/2014 at 13:14

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I don't know what it is about the college Christians but there is a switch somewhere in their brain that flips. It always seems to end up that they either decide to just be happy and accept the world that way it is, or use every available social media interweb thingy to throw anything that even sounds like it might be against what someone said to them at the world.

Andy Sheehan, StreetsideStig > Textured Soy Protein 11/20/2014 at 13:20

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Ulgh. I'm a born-again, Bible-believing, backward-viewed Christian, and that flier bothers me.

Imirrelephant > Textured Soy Protein 11/20/2014 at 13:21

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I'm conflicted here. On one hand, I'm sorry you have to put up with her trying to shove her beliefs on to you and would generally hope she stops. On the other hand, I look forward to further installments because I know she won't unless confronted by HR...

Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection > Textured Soy Protein 11/20/2014 at 13:26

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I don't believe in any gods, but I don't call myself an Atheist because it focuses on what I'm not. I focus on what I am: A hard worker, the AWESOME UNCLE, a pretty decent husband and a doting doggy daddy.

I get annoyed by the faithful because they are often so convinced of the fact that they are right — without any questions and especially without any evidence. Until we get past the idea that it's a virtue to accept a claim without any supporting evidence we'll go nowhere as a society. Until we get past the idea that it's OK for a church leader to rape a child but two men or women who love each other can't make a legal commitment to each other, we are destined to languish in the mire of hypocrisy that so frequently affects the religious. Until we get past the idea that young-earth creationism deserves a voice in the media and our schools, we'll continue to fall behind the rest of the developed world in science and math proficiency.

burntartichoke > Textured Soy Protein 11/20/2014 at 13:35

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What if the lord wants to buy a car on Sunday, damn it?

macanamera > Textured Soy Protein 11/20/2014 at 13:41

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I have a coworker who routinely tells me that she is bathed in the blood of Jesus Christ.

Trevor Slattery, ACTOR > Textured Soy Protein 11/20/2014 at 13:42

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I have been in management with hiring responsibilities for 20+ years. I have NOT hired candidates because they got all Jesus freaky on me in an interview. I would totally go to HR over this myself. For real, if a Muslim was doing this people in your office would be accusing them of recruiting jihadists. She HAS to be told to stop.

Trevor Slattery, ACTOR > Osiris - I can haz Euro spec? 11/20/2014 at 13:44

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Just lead by damn example, ya know? Stop being a salesman and just be you. People will either recognize or they won't.

Trevor Slattery, ACTOR > macanamera 11/20/2014 at 13:48

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What?

Sir Halffast > CalzoneGolem 11/20/2014 at 13:49

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Sounds about like my college experience. 75% girls and NONE of them interested in dating if you don't plan on marrying first.

ACESandEIGHTS > Jayhawk Jake 11/20/2014 at 13:50

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Mou mre mlesmed, mro.

Sir Halffast > Luc - The Acadian Oppo 11/20/2014 at 13:50

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I'm practicing Orthodox, formerly Presbyterian, and it makes me uncomfortable too. Non-practicing has little to do with it.

macanamera > Trevor Slattery, ACTOR 11/20/2014 at 13:52

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Yep

Klaus Schmoll > Textured Soy Protein 11/20/2014 at 13:56

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Just posting this here: http://oppositelock.jalopnik.com/office-fight-i… Not that I want to give you any ideas or so. Really not.

Leadbull > CalzoneGolem 11/20/2014 at 14:07

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As a Christian, I didn't want to go to a Christian college, and I'd never send my kids to one. Not that there aren't any decent Christion schools... it just seems like it'd be a weird experience.

At least you know what you're getting into with a non-Christian school.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > Textured Soy Protein 11/20/2014 at 14:08

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People suck.

That's all kinds of annoying. (catholic here) Your religion has no place at work.

Tell HR

CalzoneGolem > Sir Halffast 11/20/2014 at 14:12

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In my school there was a saying, "A ring by spring or your money back."

CalzoneGolem > Leadbull 11/20/2014 at 14:13

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I was a weird experience. I feel like I got a great education and learned a lot about life and being a Christian. I think I stayed out of a lot of trouble I would have gotten into at a secular school.

Leadbull > Osiris - I can haz Euro spec? 11/20/2014 at 14:16

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Yeah, Christian culture in the US is getting out of control. Maybe it's because we were the majority for so long (technically still are according to the census, but c'mon, not really) that people feel entitled.

It's OK to disagree with some things about our culture/politics, but really it's not our place to get all pissy about it. That's not doing anyone any favors. The Bible says to love your neighbor, not "love your neighbor... as long as they're not a democrat/atheist/gay person/muslim/smokin' the reefer". It's not our job to push a political agenda; it's to love people.

unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins) > Textured Soy Protein 11/20/2014 at 14:17

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So the coincidence of my check engine light and power seat switch failure was pre-ordained by God? Is it because I didnt get an extended warranty so now I have to burn in hell? Please continue the series.

Leadbull > CalzoneGolem 11/20/2014 at 14:23

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I have a few friends who go to a Christian school, and from my experience people party hard there, too. But I realize that one campus isn't representative of all schools.

Osiris - I can haz Euro spec? > Leadbull 11/20/2014 at 14:27

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See, this is why I love this site. Yes, we're all car enthusiasts from all over the world with all sorts of views and love of all different types of cars, but the greatest part of it all is that we all understand that people are different. And we're all accepted by one another. Just like cars, religion has multiple makes and models. Some of you may favor the manual brown diesel wagon (note: not this guy) and some of you go absolutely bat-shit crazy over Miata's. But everyone here respects everyone else and respects those people as the enthusiasts they are. This is how the world needs to be.

OPPO FOR PRESIDENT OF THE WORLD!

CalzoneGolem > Leadbull 11/20/2014 at 14:28

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Oh yeah they do. I got suspended for drinking on campus and I actually knew of 2 different coke dealers on campus.

Leadbull > CalzoneGolem 11/20/2014 at 14:33

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#Coke4Christ

Josh Brinzo > Textured Soy Protein 11/20/2014 at 14:34

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I'm at a Christian college and I have never really felt like religion was being pushed.....Until I went to a luncheon the other day where there was a speaker who talked about how he has used God in the workplace. He said he could be Bill Gates and wouldn't be satisfied. He just wants God and wants to spread it to everyone he meets. I thought that was a little much. I am completely fine with religion, but I just don't think it is right to push it on everyone.

Leadbull > Osiris - I can haz Euro spec? 11/20/2014 at 14:39

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To be fair, there are a lot of people who actually think that way. It's just that the *others* are more vocal, and usually more old, which means they have more power.

Osiris - I can haz Euro spec? > Leadbull 11/20/2014 at 14:41

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This is true. It's sad that the people just trying to live their lives get roped into this because of those who won't shut up. Guilty by association I guess.

Sir Halffast > CalzoneGolem 11/20/2014 at 14:45

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The good old MRS degree.

RallyWrench > Textured Soy Protein 11/20/2014 at 15:27

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Sunday is the best day to buy cars. All the Churchy folks are otherwise occupied, leaving the road open for test drives.

Textured Soy Protein > Trevor Slattery, ACTOR 11/20/2014 at 15:27

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Oh yeah, I come from the recruiting/staffing/HR world. I'm now the director of career services at a tech college. She's the office manager/admin. As far as I know she doesn't get all churchy on the students.

I kind of look the other way since she's got enough to deal with and putting her through the wringer about it isn't necessarily going to be productive. But I'm probably going to at least address it with the college director and see what she wants to do about it.

midengineer > Jayhawk Jake 11/20/2014 at 19:08

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Is this blinding font you used at work? My eyes still hurt.

Eggplant > Jayhawk Jake 11/20/2014 at 20:49

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To be fair, I don't think it was designed to be used in all caps.

AMGtech - now with more recalls! > Leadbull 11/21/2014 at 01:27

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There were a few Christian schools near my hometown. Some of the girls that went to them were some of the biggest partiers and sluts I've ever met. I apologize for using that word, I don't like to, but honestly I can't think of a better one.

AMGtech - now with more recalls! > macanamera 11/21/2014 at 01:31

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Gross.

AMGtech - now with more recalls! > WesBarton89 - The Way to Santa Fe 11/21/2014 at 01:40

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In a perfect world the flying spaghetti monster would duke it out with the invisible pink unicorn so that I would know which one to worship, then the winner would drink from Russell's teapot.

AMGtech - now with more recalls! > Textured Soy Protein 11/21/2014 at 01:52

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I would "accidentally" leave selected works of Salman Rushdie, Christopher Hitchens and Richard Dawkins, as well as a "Religulous" DVD on her desk. And perhaps a Qur'an for good measure. Fun fact: my phone auto-corrected "good" in the last sentence to"God's".

Zerofret > Textured Soy Protein 12/10/2014 at 16:53

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I'm a Christian, and even I hate this.

dsigned001 - O.R.C. hunter > Trevor Slattery, ACTOR 12/10/2014 at 21:37

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Coming from her perspective, unless you want to fire her, telling her to stop is just going to make her stew and feel "oppressed" and thus more difficult to work with. You might be specific about things she can't say and/or do and why. Also, giving her a less annoying outlet for her proselytizing might be more productive in the long run than simply shutting her down.

Spridget > Textured Soy Protein 10/19/2015 at 20:55

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“There are no coincidences, it’s all pre-ordained by god”