Choctaw Bingo

"ttyymmnn" (ttyymmnn) 11/20/2014 at 10:46 • Filed to: None

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Heading to VA for the family reunion tomorrow. In honor of that road trip, I present "Choctaw Bingo" by James McMurtry. The greatest song ever written about putting the kids in the car and going home to see all your crazy relatives.

Strap them kids in give 'em a little bit of vodka

In a Cherry Coke, we're going to Oklahoma

To the family reunion for the first time in years

It's up at uncle Slayton's 'cause he's getting on in years

You know he no longer travels but he's still pretty spry

He's not much on talking and he's just too mean to die

And they'll be comin' down from Kansas and from west Arkansas

It'll be one great big old party like you never saw

Uncle Slayton's got his Texan pride

Back in the thickets with his Asian bride

He's got a Airstream trailer and a Holstein cow

He still makes whiskey 'cause he still knows how

He plays that Choctaw Bingo every Friday night

You know he had to leave Texas but he won't say why

He owns a quarter section up by Lake Eufala

Caught a great big ol' blue cat on a driftin' jug line

Sells his hardwood timber to the chipping mill

Cooks that crystal meth because the shine don't sell

He cooks that crystal meth because the shine don't sell

You know he likes that money, he don't mind the smell

My cousin Roscoe, Slayton's oldest boy

From his second marriage up in Illinois

He's raised in East St. Louis by his momma's people

Where they do things different thought he'd just come down

He was going to Dallas, Texas in a semi truck

Called from that big McDonald's, you know the one that's built up

On that great big ol' bridge across the Will Rogers Turnpike

Took the Big Cabin exit, stopped and bought a cartons of cigarettes

At that Indian smoke shop with the big neon smoke rings

In the Cherokee Nation hit Muskogee late that night

Somebody ran a stoplight at the Shawnee Bypass

Roscoe tried to miss 'em but he didn't quite

Bob and Mae come up from some little town

Way down by Lake Texoma where he coaches football

They were two a champions now for two years running

But he says they won't be this year, no they won't be this year

And he stopped off in Tushka at that Pop's Knife and Gun place

Bought a SKS rifle and a couple full cases

Of that steel core ammo with the Berdan primers

From some East bloc nation that no longer needs 'em

And a Desert Eagle that's one great big ol' pistol

I mean, 50 caliber made by bad ass Hebrews

And some surplus tracers for that old bar of Slayton's

Soon's it gets dark we're gonna have us a time

We're gonna have us a time

Ruth Ann and Lynn come down from Baxter Springs

And that's one hell raisin' town way up in Southeastern Kansas

Got a biker bar next to the lingerie store

That's got them Rolling Stones lips up there

in bright pink neon

And they ride down town where everyone can see 'em

And they burn all night, you know they burn all night

You know they burn all night

Ruth Ann and Lynn, they wear them cut off britches

And those skinny little halters and they're second cousins to me

Man I don't care I want to get between 'em

With a great big ol' hard on like a old Bois D' Arc fence post

You could hang a pipe rail gate from do some

Sisters twisted 'til the cows come home and we'd be havin' us a time

Uncle Slayton's got his Texan pride

Back in the thickets with his Asian bride

He's cut that corner pasture into acre lots

He sells 'em owner financed strictly to them

That's got no kind of credit 'cause he knows they're slackers

When they miss that payment, then he takes it back

He plays that Choctaw Bingo every Friday night

He drinks his Johnny Walker at that Club 69

We're gonna strap them kids in give 'em a little bit O' Benadryl

And a Cherry Coke we're goin' to Oklahoma

Gonna have us a time, gonna have us a time

Read more: !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!

$kaycog > ttyymmnn 11/20/2014 at 10:49

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Have a safe trip!

ttyymmnn > $kaycog 11/20/2014 at 10:51

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Thanks!

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > ttyymmnn 11/20/2014 at 11:10

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I live near some of these places, and one of my friends - an older fellow - is a McMurtry addict. "Made by bad ass Hebrews" is such an awesome line.

He went with me to pick up my car from Dallas a couple years ago, and we drove through Tushka. We tried to look up Pop's Knife and Gun but couldn't find it.

They're currently renovating that big McDonalds built over the turnpike.

http://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/11683

http://www.fourstateshomepage.com/story/d/story/…

ttyymmnn > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 11/20/2014 at 11:24

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I've got the album playing right now. It's solid, beginning to end. I first heard Choctaw Bingo on the local alternative station, in a live performance. McMurtry introduced the song as "a tribute to the north Texas, south Oklahoma methamphetamine industry." James is the son of famous Western author Larry McMurtry (Lonesome Dove ).