Muscle cars at autocrosses be all like

"The Transporter" (transporter) 11/15/2014 at 20:48 • Filed to: None

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"Oh shit, a corner! Better slow down to 5 MPH or I'll spin out of control. Oh good, a straightaway, now I can go full throttle for 0.02 seconds before I get to the next corner. Why am I the slowest car here? I've got more horsepower than everybody else combined."

Miatas and Toyobaru twins be all like "We've got practically no horsepower, so we have to use ALL of it ALL of the time! Oversteer ALL THE CORNERS ! Why do I have to get new tires every three months?"

European cars be all like "My German precision engineering will make me the faste- OH SHIT I JUST SPUN OUT !"

Honda S2000s be all like "VTEC just kicked in y(corner) VTEC just kicked (corner) VTEC ju(corner) VT(corner) VTECJUSTKICKEDINY(finish line). Why am I slower than that built Miata?"

MR2s be all like "Miata good, S2000 better, MR2 bes- SNAPOVERSTEER !"

MGBs be all like "Punk kids! I'm trying to sleep over here!"

Lotus/Caterham/Locost 7s be all like "Don't worry MGB, I've got moves these whippersnappers have never seen before. I'll show 'em a thing or two."

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > The Transporter 11/15/2014 at 20:59

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There's a dude with a classic mustang at mine who is actually really fast. The suspension is all stock too, which is crazy.

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > The Transporter 11/15/2014 at 21:00

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Funnily enough regarding the MGB, I've seen more MGs show up and not even start than show up and go.

norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback > The Transporter 11/15/2014 at 21:02

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C'Mon now. We all know the MG would break on the way.

The Transporter > norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback 11/15/2014 at 21:04

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I never said the MGB didn't come on a trailer.

norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback > The Transporter 11/15/2014 at 21:06

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Good point.

Blondude > The Transporter 11/15/2014 at 21:07

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Pfft, amateurs...

The Transporter > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 11/15/2014 at 21:16

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The ones that stick around and know how to use their power appropriately can be quite fast. However, if I had a nickel for every old dude in a brand new mid-life-crisis-mobile who shows up for one weekend, gets owned by a girl in a Golf GTI, and is never seen again, then I'd be able to get those fancy racing shocks that I so desperately need.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > The Transporter 11/15/2014 at 21:19

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1997 Monte Carlo LSes be all like "I am an appalling hunk of shit and now that you're done laughing I'm going to go beat up on a 3-series or two.

Seriously, I could routinely run mid-pack at my school's autocrosses with NO class system or rankings. Just go out and try for FTD. Best showing was a 10th place out of 43 cars. Technically 11th out of 63 driver/car combos but I also got 4th in a mazda 3 that got 2nd overall in my friends hands so if we discount my 4th place, I GOT 10TH IN A RUSTBUCKET W-BODY!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D and all the 3-series owners got to cry into their lattes.

The Transporter > Blondude 11/15/2014 at 21:27

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There's a guy at my club who builds a Lotus 7 kit car that uses a Miata for the donor car. Today I finally got to drive it around a course in anger. Here's the GoPro video that I shot:

All I have to say is that I'm glad I was wearing a full face mask helmet.

The Transporter > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 11/15/2014 at 21:29

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The five things you need to make your car go faster at an autocross:

Seat time

Seat time

Seat time

Seat time

Tires

Arben72 > The Transporter 11/15/2014 at 21:37

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Someone autocrosses with a mg midget in at the ones I go to. Fully gutted out, I don't know how much money into the suspension work, and the most amazing part is that it has a motor swap out of an rx7. The whole time it's shooting 3ft Flames out of the back. The best part is an older lady drives it and she dominated the course.

Gizmo - The Only Good Gremlin, but don't feed me after Midnight > The Transporter 11/15/2014 at 21:58

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And then the old guy shows up in a convertible Caddy and waxes the C5s.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > The Transporter 11/15/2014 at 22:17

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On #5.......Eagle GT all seasons had crazy good grip but also had an odd handling quirk - I could throttle off oversteer that thing like a boss if the power steering cooperated. Lesser all seasons wouldn't let me and the one time I had summer tires, I couldn't break the back end out.

Local Miata Bro > Gizmo - The Only Good Gremlin, but don't feed me after Midnight 11/15/2014 at 22:57

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When did this happen? And how did I miss this?

Local Miata Bro > The Transporter 11/15/2014 at 23:02

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Then a Hyundai Accent shows up and leans too hard, destroy its tires and makes a lot of noise. But the incompetent fool behind the wheel still beats a viper, and loses to a Nissan GTR by .8 of a second. ( I would still call that a win)

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > The Transporter 11/15/2014 at 23:38

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Wrong. You can too AutoX a muscle car, you just need brass balls to do it.

Little Black Coupe Turned Silver > The Transporter 11/16/2014 at 00:28

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Swap autocross for track day and GTI for a Cobalt, and you have me!

There are few things I like more than seeing old guys sneer at me, and then hunting them down and getting a point-by, only for them to come up after the session saying how they had now idea I could be so fast in a Cobalt.

NervesOfThrill > The Transporter 11/16/2014 at 09:48

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Yep. After my first AutoX event yesterday it was clear that what dominates the track is the opposite of what dominates the cone laden parking lot. Different worlds. I went from having a puffy chest at Sebring to a tail between my legs at the Brooksville airport.

The Miata guys were having tons of fun and I was jealous. The Mustangs, Corvettes and G8 that were there looked suffocated; like Usain Bolt running around a bedroom.

My Cayman S is definitely geared for the track, not AutoX. I lived between 1st and 2nd gear needing a 1.5 gear despite having 7 gears already.

It was still fun!

The Transporter > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 11/16/2014 at 11:06

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What tire pressure settings do you use?

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > The Transporter 11/16/2014 at 11:27

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In the lolcar?.........ummmmm........ I always made sure the tires had air?

In my Fiesta I keep it balanced all the way around @40 PSI so if I need one side to grip more or less, I just drop the pressure a bit to achieve my results.

MyNoTypyhoonIsSlow > The Transporter 11/16/2014 at 15:52

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I still want to try autocrossing this thing. Though I'm pretty sure it wouldn't end well.

The Transporter > MyNoTypyhoonIsSlow 11/16/2014 at 16:25

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I've seen it done.