"Jcarr" (jcarr)
11/11/2014 at 11:40 • Filed to: None
3
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"Jcarr" (jcarr)
11/11/2014 at 11:40 • Filed to: None | 3
| 22 |
So earlier this year my boss (the CEO of our company) sold the company to a larger company. As a result I'm sure he made a handsome profit (don't know how much, don't care).
We got to talking about cars yesterday. He knows I like cars and he himself has a nice '99 E55 AMG that he bought new. He then tells me that earlier this year he bought a 2000 456M GTA, a 2003 911 Carrera 4S, and a 197(2)? Corvette 427 and that sometime I should come out a drive them.
I've never driven anything like these (the Ferrari and Porsche in particular). Are there any weird quirks or procedures I need to know about in order to not 1) break anything and 2) look like an idiot? The 456 is an auto (sadface.jpg), but the 911 is a 6-speed.
K-Roll-PorscheTamer
> Jcarr
11/11/2014 at 11:43 |
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Rule 1 with a 911: Do not lift off in ze corners.
deekster_caddy
> Jcarr
11/11/2014 at 11:44 |
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I'm sure he'll show you their quirks before he lets you drive them off, inexperienced and wrap them around a tree. Don't pretend you are on a track, show them respect. Sure you can hit the gas on a straight somewhere but don't go trying to corner at the limit either.
Tohru
> K-Roll-PorscheTamer
11/11/2014 at 11:45 |
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Also don't hit the brakes in the corners... don't give it throttle in the corners... don't hit a tree in the corners...
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Jcarr
> deekster_caddy
11/11/2014 at 11:47 |
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I plan to basically Sunday-drive them and maybe try to goose it just a tiny bit if I have a straight, flat, open piece of road.
JR1
> Jcarr
11/11/2014 at 11:48 |
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I forgot how pretty the 456 was. Sorry I can't add anything relevant to the conversation!
PS9
> Jcarr
11/11/2014 at 11:49 |
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1) As soon as you get in the car, mash the throttle 100%. Go in deep as hard as you can. Don't worry about curves or obstacles, because the European handling will let you maneuver out of any situation, and the CEO will be impressed with your driving skills.
2) Blow through all the redlights and cut off every large vehicle you can find (Busses, Dump Trucks, Honey Boo Boo's mom driving a Tahoe, whatever). Don't worry about the cops. There's a two tiered justice system (one for rich people and one for criminals), and rolling around in a ferrari means you get top-tier treatment.
3) Find a way to have sex in the back seat of one of these cars while the CEO is away. Don't worry about standards or what you usually go for, just snap up whatever consenting partner you can get your mitts on and get to work. Once the car smells of sex, the CEO will know what happened and be further impressed by your skills in bagging a mate so quick
...err, wait, you want to NOT make an ass of yourself right? Oh. Well...here's a new list on what you should do.
1) Not any of the stuff you just read.
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Jcarr
> Tohru
11/11/2014 at 11:50 |
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Don't corner in the corners?
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deekster_caddy
> Jcarr
11/11/2014 at 11:50 |
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Yup, you can do that and not embarrass yourself. Just enjoy them for what they are. He's not handing them to you on a racetrack asking to see the best lap times - when I let somebody drive my rare car I talk them through all it's quirks first, then let them enjoy a cruise, as long as they'd like to go.
Give yourself a lot of time so you can have fun with everything he'll let you ride/drive!
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Jcarr
> PS9
11/11/2014 at 11:51 |
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...just snap up whatever consenting partner you can get your mitts on and get to work.
I don't know why, but this killed me.
OPPOsaurus WRX
> Jcarr
11/11/2014 at 11:52 |
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yea dont show off and end up having to apologize for spinning off the road.
lone_liberal
> Jcarr
11/11/2014 at 12:07 |
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You'll do fine. The rules for driving those are the same rules as posting on Oppo: don't be a dick. BTW the last year for the 427 in a 'Vette was '69. After that they were 454s.
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Tohru
> Jcarr
11/11/2014 at 12:08 |
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You can... but carefully .
There's a reason the #1 killer of dentists nationwide is the 911.
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Tohru
> Jcarr
11/11/2014 at 12:12 |
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It's customary when driving someone else's European sports car to bring your own fire extinguisher.
crowmolly
> Jcarr
11/11/2014 at 12:16 |
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Well, one thing you can mention to not look like a fool is that a factory 427 Vette was never available in the decade of the 1970s.
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Jcarr
> Tohru
11/11/2014 at 12:19 |
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I thought the #1 killer of dentists nationwide was suicide...
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Jcarr
> lone_liberal
11/11/2014 at 12:20 |
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I must be remembering the year wrong because I'm sure he said 427. Either way, big V8!
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Jcarr
> crowmolly
11/11/2014 at 12:21 |
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Yeah, I think I'm remembering the year wrong. I know he said 427.
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lone_liberal
> Jcarr
11/11/2014 at 12:22 |
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There's nothing preventing somebody from putting a 427 in a different car either! I had a friend who had a 427 from a '69 'Vette in a '79 Camaro. Badass car. Badass engine.
Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast.
> Jcarr
11/11/2014 at 12:54 |
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Those old 'Vettes don't like corners very much. Be careful there.
QCGoose
> Jcarr
11/11/2014 at 22:28 |
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456GT...
...A
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Jcarr
> QCGoose
11/11/2014 at 23:04 |
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Yep. At least the 911 is a stick.
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QCGoose
> Jcarr
11/11/2014 at 23:13 |
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The "...A" was supposed to be between the two pics (thanks Kinja, you f*cking turd), but you get the idea.
Anyways, yeah, at least he didn't go completely limp-wrist with his collection.