"PRBot II" (prbot2)
11/09/2014 at 00:49 Filed to: cars by state, texas
6
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"PRBot II" (prbot2)
11/09/2014 at 00:49 Filed to: cars by state, texas | 6
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Anything at all. What's the most Texas way to get around?
Why do I ask, you say? Because I'm tired of hearing that the !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! is the Ford F-Series. I'm more interested in what the best vehicle for the state should be.
Also, if you think the most Texas vehicle happens to be the F-Series, then by all means put it down.
And as always...
Choose wisely!
This is !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! , a year long 51 part series of Opposodes where I gather Oppositelock's view of America in the form of cars.
Jordaneer, The Mountaineer Man
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 00:52 |
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Yeah, Riiiiiiggghht, I'm sure all Texans drive like this.
bob and john
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 00:52 |
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you know what, for texas, I will have to say a fully loaded 3/4 ton truck with all the trimming and the diesel motor. all with a 7inch lift , 20's, a 10K paint job and stacks.
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Jordaneer, The Mountaineer Man
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 00:54 |
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The obvious choice, a truck, preferably a bro-truck.
SVTyler
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 00:56 |
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It may not be the most likely car to be driven in Texas, but it is the most Texas car that could be driven in Texas; they pride themselves on doing things differently and not falling into the gubment's rules like the rest of the states, they're loud and personable, and generally don't care what other people think of them.
CRider
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 01:00 |
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Is this even a question?
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PRBot II
> Jordaneer, The Mountaineer Man
11/09/2014 at 01:02 |
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Woah, hey now. There's no such thing as a "bro-truck". It's an unfair, sexist label that only serves to alienate and disenfranchise and it needs to go away. Now.
I know this because I read Jalopnik , and I'm trying to be philosophically consistent, but have no idea how to do so.
/s
TheMightyTexMex
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 01:07 |
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In my city? These two. Bonus points if you guess it.
whoarder is tellurium
> SVTyler
11/09/2014 at 01:08 |
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I honestly think the Viper is the official sports car of Texas.
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PRBot II
> TheMightyTexMex
11/09/2014 at 01:10 |
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Austin?
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TheMightyTexMex
> Jordaneer, The Mountaineer Man
11/09/2014 at 01:10 |
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Austinites are fairly friendly drivers, it's just that when it starts raining everybody starts crashing.
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SVTyler
> TheMightyTexMex
11/09/2014 at 01:11 |
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Hipsters and techies, must be Austin.
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TheMightyTexMex
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 01:12 |
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Yup! Though when go to Georgetown (hell), trucks are the way to go.
StingrayJake
> Jordaneer, The Mountaineer Man
11/09/2014 at 01:13 |
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In the metro area, hell no. Everywhere else? For the most part, yes.
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PRBot II
> TheMightyTexMex
11/09/2014 at 01:16 |
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I'm glad I got it right, because I've never been to Texas. Except for a quick layover at DFW one time. But I heard Austin is weird, and they're trying to keep it that way.
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TheMightyTexMex
> SVTyler
11/09/2014 at 01:17 |
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In Austin you either work in tech or have a trust fund. Not hating though, there's no place i'd rather live in
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TheMightyTexMex
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 01:21 |
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It's hard to keep it weird with a large influx of Californians trying to stick to their West Coast ways. So rude.
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SVTyler
> TheMightyTexMex
11/09/2014 at 01:22 |
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I'm moving down south once I graduate college and Austin's on my short list, I've heard nothing but good things about it: awesome nightlife, great food, cost of living's cheap, and (best yet!) no winter.
Xyl0c41n3
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 01:28 |
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I've actually seen one just like this out in the wild. A black and chrome Ford F650. The thing was ridiculous.
There are "Texas" editions of both the F150 and the Silverado.
The Ford version is called the King Ranch edition and comes with a badge featuring the snake W of the one and only King Ranch, which is one of the largest remaining ranches in Texas. It's just a prettier F150, but I've seen a fair number of them on the road here.
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The Chevy version is a Silverado that's literally called the "Texas" edition and has nice little patriotic lone star badge.
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Figured I'd use the promo photo of it in front of a high school football stadium because almost nothing says Texas better than Friday Night Lights.
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I'd say these two are more popular than anything offered by Dodge, GMC, or, heaven forbid, Toyota, even though there's a Toyota truck plant in state. (I said heaven forbid facetiously).
But for all the trucks we have 'round these parts, precious few actually have one of these hanging off their rear bumpers:
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And almost nothing says vanity more than a truck that doesn't get to truck. So, for my money, and for all the endless highways that stretch across this land, I'd rather have something small, fuel efficient, and more maneuverable.
My Texas car is this:
ETA. Fuck kinja.
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PRBot II
> TheMightyTexMex
11/09/2014 at 01:30 |
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Dear God, no. I can only imagine.
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PRBot II
> Xyl0c41n3
11/09/2014 at 01:34 |
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Wow, I forgot the F-650 even existed! Great answers, thank you.
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TheMightyTexMex
> SVTyler
11/09/2014 at 01:34 |
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You'll have some unbelievable experiences on downtown weekend nights. (ALSO COTA)
We have a slight winter, almost never below 30. The biggest problem is iced over roads. Those can be killers because our asphalt is not meant to handle that. This can happen:
There was about an inch of black ice on the Shoreline Drive exit off MoPac. I was going about 35 when I skated onto the guardrail.
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Xyl0c41n3
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 01:35 |
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I wish I could forget it existed. :-P
And, thanks!
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PRBot II
> Xyl0c41n3
11/09/2014 at 01:38 |
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Haha, me too. Me too.
Conan
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 01:38 |
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Custom Eldorado
If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 01:39 |
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No contest.
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Xyl0c41n3
> Jordaneer, The Mountaineer Man
11/09/2014 at 01:40 |
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We do, really. It's not uncommon for people to wave or nod to each other while passing each other on the highway, especially the back country roads. People will move over to let you pass, and if you experience unexpected car trouble, it's not five minutes before someone stops and offers to help you. Now, on the interstates and in metro areas? That's a bit of a different story, especially during rush hours. But that's anywhere.
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TheMightyTexMex
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 01:44 |
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Yeah. Think valley girls and self-important upper middle class white people. All glued to their iphones, living off prozac, driving a hybrid, and going 55 on the left lane.
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SVTyler
> TheMightyTexMex
11/09/2014 at 01:46 |
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Yeesh, glad you're OK. I'm in Indiana so I'll take anything above the -20 degree snowpocalyse of death and despair we've gotten the past couple years.
Completely forgot about COTA, too. I live about ten minutes from IMS so it'd be nice to have another big racing venue nearby.
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PRBot II
> TheMightyTexMex
11/09/2014 at 01:52 |
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Lol, don't forget the pumpkin spice.
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TheMightyTexMex
> SVTyler
11/09/2014 at 01:57 |
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Oh shit, you'll love our "winters" then.
Don't forget the pre and post-race parties, they're awesome and you might even spot a driver or two.
Ferrero1911
> TheMightyTexMex
11/09/2014 at 02:01 |
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No self respecting Californian trying to stick to their West Coast ways goes anything slower than 80 in the left lane. Austin made them soft.
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Ferrero1911
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 02:04 |
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I grew up in Texas and Ford truck is the way to go. I recommend a F-250 dually at least.
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SVTyler
> TheMightyTexMex
11/09/2014 at 02:05 |
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Of course! What's a race but a party briefly interrupted by a bit of driving?
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TheMightyTexMex
> Ferrero1911
11/09/2014 at 02:08 |
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The self respecting Californians are still in Cali
(I hope I'm not offending anybody)
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TheMightyTexMex
> SVTyler
11/09/2014 at 02:11 |
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"What's a race but a party briefly interrupted by a bit of driving?"
Yes. Well said.
pinkhamsfall
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 07:08 |
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Mazda. Anything Mazda.
Those things dot Texas like small pox. Mazda salesman in Austin told me they had top execs from Japan fly in, because they had sold more cars here than any other spot in the nation.
So, Mazda.
Thunderface
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 09:52 |
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A truck. End of story.
PushToStart
> Jordaneer, The Mountaineer Man
11/09/2014 at 10:25 |
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lol nope
most are assholes to a very high degree
Obscure Drives
> Jordaneer, The Mountaineer Man
11/09/2014 at 11:04 |
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As a Texan - a resident of College Station where this style of truck runs rampant - no one says "bro trucks". They're just trucks.
Stang70Fastback
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 11:06 |
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Austinguy83
> SVTyler
11/09/2014 at 11:06 |
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cost of living here is skyrocketing unfortunately. The rest of that is pretty much true.
Tristan
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 11:07 |
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When window shopping for diesel cars, I see a lot of high mileage E-class turbo and non-turbo diesels from the late 90s. I feel like anything diesel is good for areas where you'll be driving long distances to get around if it's in a rural area.
FCV-8311
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 11:07 |
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You can't get more Texan than an older Cadillac ElDorado with horns!
Iwaswonderofwonders
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 11:08 |
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For sale as seen in pictures. I believe this is the 8 cyl, 5.0 L, 4-spd model. Last inspection was for 2005. There was never anything wrong with it when we used it, but we just stopped using it and it hasn't been run in a long time. The Michelin Radial XCH4 tires on it still appear to be fine. It has dual gas tanks, electric windows and locks, and a cb radio. Even has external power outlet. None of the windows are cracked or anything. Buyer will have to trailer it out or something of the sort.
ranwhenparked
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 11:08 |
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Well, the best selling car in Texas (as opposed to truck) is the Camry, so, unfortunately, it appears that Texans believe that is the perfect car for Texas.
$kaycog
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 11:09 |
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This would be perfect.
GMfishbowls
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 11:11 |
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A Cadillac, either with longhorns, or buried ostrich style.
maximum_sarge
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 11:13 |
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Cue the bro-dozer parade...
JohnDoeIII
> Ferrero1911
11/09/2014 at 11:13 |
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The F-250 isn't offered as a dually, to get the dual rear wheel option you have to get a F-350 or F-450, and nowadays I'm seeing more F-350's with the single rear wheel option than with the dual rear wheels.
Patrick Frawley
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 11:14 |
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Story time:
Back in the late Sixties, an oil executive was considering the purchase of a Bell JetRanger helicopter. He had a salesman out to his ranch, some significant distance from Houston. The salesman arrived in said helicopter and did the full pitch to the exec, including - significantly - grand statements about how much faster he would be able to get to Houston via air compared to the highways.
The exec nodded appreciably, then suggested that the salesman fly to the corporate building in Houston to check the flight time and conditions and the rest. The salesman eagerly spooled up the JetRanger and departed in a cloud of dust.
The exec watched the helicopter lift away, then sashayed (this is Texas, y'know) over to his garage and buckled himself into his Ferrari 500 Superfast.
The salesman was struck mute when, upon arrival in Houston, the exec was there to meet him.
No sale was made.
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maximum_sarge
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 11:15 |
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In my experience, Texas has VAST stretches of long straight road, HOWEVER, they have ZERO lane discipline, so you'll need to both drive at high speed and be able to very quickly swerve between lanes.
porschephile463
> Jordaneer, The Mountaineer Man
11/09/2014 at 11:16 |
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truck is correct, but not bro truck. Texans use their trucks.
Maxaxle
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 11:17 |
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Driving friendly =/= the Texas way, in my experience.
Galuptis
> $kaycog
11/09/2014 at 11:18 |
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One might say it's a Tex book example.
Dslay04
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 11:19 |
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With all the high ways and wide open stretches, its gotta be a E63 or CTS Vsport
Microcube
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 11:22 |
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whatever will get you through that giant hellhole the fastest. God, I spent a week in Houston and I saw more giant trucks driving on medians and shoulders, yelling and honking, people aggressively cutting each other off to get a car lengths ahead in 5 mph traffic, and terrifying old Cadillacs with spiked chariot style rims than I have seen in my totality of existance in the rest of the US.
facw
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 11:22 |
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My vote goes to 15 year old beater SUVs with at most one working brake light.
Jesse Shaffer
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 11:25 |
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http://oppositelock.jalopnik.com/cheap-tricks-1
Texas = MORE
feedback
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 11:25 |
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Irrespective of state, the correct answer to that question is always "wagon." I'm particularly fond of my E Wagon because it hauls a ton of stuff & practically drives itself in Austin rush hour and on long highway trips across the state (and highway trips in Texas are loooooong).
IaneyMeaney
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 11:26 |
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No contest
Yossarian
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 11:26 |
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Even though it's German, I can't help to think the 6X6 would fit in well in Texas.
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unhcampus
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 11:29 |
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Go big or go home.
bigburd
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 11:29 |
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gen 4 camaro. T-tops great for Texas weather.
jalop1991
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 11:30 |
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Really? This is in question?
Chevy Suburban. They don't sell any other four door fully enclosed vehicles down there, do they?
Driver
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 11:30 |
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jalop1991
> Jordaneer, The Mountaineer Man
11/09/2014 at 11:31 |
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They misspelled "white".
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torrie
> StingrayJake
11/09/2014 at 11:32 |
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I'll second that. Getting helped by random people when stuck? Check.
Indicating to change lanes and seeing someone 10 car lengths back accelerate hard to close the gap? Also check.
But most of all, what I want for Christmas is Texans to learn what indicators are. So many near misses because someone changes lanes without looking or indicating.
Turbo-Brick
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 11:32 |
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Tie between Charger and Challenger Hellcat. More power than God, guzzles fuel like it's happy hour at the local gas station, and does not cost an arm and a leg.
Because what are corners?
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jalop1991
> unhcampus
11/09/2014 at 11:34 |
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jalop1991
> Conan
11/09/2014 at 11:35 |
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does that license plate say "Huggy Bear"?
PatBateman
> Turbo-Brick
11/09/2014 at 11:37 |
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This is very true. They can get you to the next big city quick. And, unlike the NE, we have some long stretches between our cities.
And curves in the road lolwut.
ICantStandNewJalopnik
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 11:37 |
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Oil wealth + gobbling up miles. Who cares about snow? This would be a no-brainer.
TexaS-Class
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PatBateman
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 11:41 |
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Wife's car. I can tow my boat, take it to a ranch, drive the kids around... Also acceptable: Chevy/GMC Tahoe/Yukon.
I should probably have a Texas flag mural painted on it.
San Baban
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 11:45 |
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can it get more texas than this??
from the man himself
Drew
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 11:47 |
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Howdy there folks, this one is pretty simple. And I'll give a serious answer as I'm a Dallas resident (Oak Cliff, thanks so much) and a TCU grad. C6/C7 Corvette Z51/Z06/ZR1. Texas is big - bigger than most folks think - it'll take 12 hours to take I-20 from the piney woods out east on the Louisiana border to the desert out in El Paso. So you're going to want something with power to make quick work of the straights - and there are a lot. This was shot from my C6 (just a Z51, sadly, and yes, I'm biased) out near Terlingua from some police who were kind enough to just shut down a 16 mile stretch of road for our rally. And a nice shout out to the Brewster County police who, for a sum, shut down the road for about an hour for us to run free. The Corvette has more than enough power to get you through your daily drive and blast across the highest speed limits in the country.
But let's not forget - Texas isn't just flat desert. From the twisty roads out near Nagadoches in the east, to the Hill Coutry near Austin, to the Fort Davis Mountains out west near Big Bend, to the long sweeping farm roads up north of McKinney, to El Camino Del Rio out near Lajitas on the Mexican border (literally the Mexican border, as in drive off the road and you're in the Rio Grande), the state has some serious hidden gems of roads - hundreds of miles of twisties that are sparsely populated if you're willing to drive a few miles. The current crop of the plastic fantastic will eat these up nicely as well.
Last but not least, Texas isn't just home to the US' only current F1 track, but several other racetracks that are all within spitting distance. After COTA, MSR Cresson, MSR Houston, Eagle's Canyon, and TWS are just the ones I can think of off the top of my head. The Corvettes are built to handle serious track work and will make fast work of just about anything else in their class. If you get cheeky, don't forget Texas hosts several open road rallies, as well as the Texas Mile. LMR, Hennessey, LG Motorsports are all based here and all make some serious contenders for your LSx and LTx platform of choice.
So that's my entry.
The Dubious One
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 11:48 |
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https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=F8P5vG
Because you just grew a third ball.
DipodomysDeserti
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 11:50 |
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Exactly. I've see many of these trucks with "Sand Slut" stickers on the backs of them. They're not just for bro's, but for ho's as well.
TheElephant
> PatBateman
11/09/2014 at 11:51 |
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Your boat isn't big enough if you can tow it with a minivan.
DJHerbert
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 11:51 |
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Because TORNADOES.
"The tank-like Tornado Intercept Vehicle 2 in the Discovery Channel's "Storm Chasers" started life as a 2008 Dodge Ram 3500 dual-rear-wheel 4x4 pickup. Its pickup body was replaced with a new steel-frame safety structure, covered in 1/8-inch-thick welded steel plates. The sides were fitted with hydraulic skirts that could be lowered on demand to direct high-speed tornado winds safely around the truck. Power to the truck's three driven axles came from a 6.7-liter six-cylinder Cummins turbo-diesel, outfitted with propane and water injection. The two rear axles were Dana 80s needed to support the TIV's 17,500-pound curb weight."
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PatBateman
> TheElephant
11/09/2014 at 11:55 |
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This is my wife's car. I drive an F-150 crew cab 4x4 Lariat.
Nice try on the insult, though.
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plokij
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 11:58 |
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a horse.
MK6GTI-now with added Miata
> porschephile463
11/09/2014 at 12:00 |
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To get to work at their IT jobs?
Kidding, but only a little. Obviously there's a large percentage of people in Texas that need trucks, but it's also fairly normal there to just daily drive a full size truck regardless of need.
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gw
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 12:00 |
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Definitely Ford F-series (as a native Texan who traded down from an F-250 to an F-150, which in Texas counts as a sensible midsizer).
Unless of course you live in Austin, Houston, or Dallas. In which your rides of choice are a Prius, a BMW 320i (leased of course), or the biggest Escalade you can get, respectively.
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Ad_absurdum_per_aspera
> Xyl0c41n3
11/09/2014 at 12:02 |
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King Ranch edition {...} just a prettier F150
Pretty sure the first good many I saw were F250's, and seeing the occasional King Ranch F150 still seems a little unclear on the concept to me but otherwise, yeah, "what she said."
But the iconography of the fictional Texas, going back at least to "Giant," has to make room for successive generations of Cadillacs.
This is rooted to some extent in fact. A couple of spinster sisters known to my wife's family had lived in rural semi-poverty on a farm for a long time... and went down and bought a Cadillac apiece after oil was found on their land. The usual angle of the story is how they were so different in personality one was embarrassed by the ostentation and the other drove home by way of Main Street, leaning on the horn the whole way. Owning mineral rights, not just surface estate: it's a good thing.
To this day, in the whole area where her extended family and in-laws are from, a Cadillac is what you buy when you're makin' it pretty good, though pickups in both sizes (large and larger) are the numerically dominant vehicle, with the usual Ford / Chevy / Dodge partisanship.
Stef Schrader
> unhcampus
11/09/2014 at 12:03 |
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This. This right here is the best answer. Huge classic Caddy, as brougham as possible, with horns on the front.
This will never be a wrong answer. Huge trucks can, in places, be out of place: too big for what's necessary.
A classic Cadillac is always too big, but never out of place. Ever.
If you show up in one, anywhere, even Austin hippies will make room and give you a nod of respect and approval.
rent
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 12:05 |
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It has be smell like a steak and seat 35...
CAYONERO!
G-Truck
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 12:06 |
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Stef Schrader
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 12:07 |
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Hehehe. I'm of the opinion that "bro" is a mindset; a label that even women can aspire to. I've known some ladies who rock the bro truck and embrace all that is "bro."I get where you're coming from, though.
But it wouldn't be my pick for Texas. Take a shiny, clean Park Cities liftmobile out in the country and you will be mocked for all the right reasons by folks who actually need to use a truck for its intended purposes.
SkilletHead
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 12:07 |
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There is nothing more Texas than the Canyonero .
Kevin Barrett
> Xyl0c41n3
11/09/2014 at 12:10 |
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Don't forget about the Texas Titan!
kloreen-beech
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 12:13 |
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Or anything electric. Or anything that runs on hot air. Yeah, hot air...
Kaufmania: Mark Webber's Stunt Double
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 12:14 |
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Miata is still the answer for everything
PeteRR
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 12:14 |
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The bigger, the better.
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Kaufmania: Mark Webber's Stunt Double
> Jordaneer, The Mountaineer Man
11/09/2014 at 12:14 |
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Wrong, miata is always the answer
Ash78, voting early and often
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 12:16 |
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Look at me! Give me this! Give me that! I know everything, you can't tell me what to do! I'm better than all of you. You're a retard, I'm gonna kill you! My low corporate and personal income taxes aren't simply delaying an inevitable, massive deficit in order to boost short-term growth!
I work with way too many Texans.
IDROVEAPICKUPTRUCK
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 12:17 |
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F-250 Diesel King Ranch Edition. They are everywhere down here, and most of them never tow anything. 25% of all vehicles registered in Texas are pickup trucks, the highest percentage in the nation. If you pick anything other than a truck you are wrong.
theBKA
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 12:20 |
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/thread
dataPOG
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 12:24 |
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A penis truck, aka bro trucks.
You're killing me smalls
> PRBot II
11/09/2014 at 12:27 |
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This.
Magic Beef Cruiser GT
> Conan
11/09/2014 at 12:31 |
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Nope, too classy. Needs monster truck wheels, smoke stacks, and a machine gun.