I Have Failed My Wife

"fink stinger" (finkstinger) 11/06/2014 at 10:49 • Filed to: None

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Wife hears me talking to my oldest kid at breakfast about the slightly delayed release of Android Lollipop. Curious about the name, she starts in with the questions. These are the exact wordings of some of the questions:

Are people having trouble? (relevant, since she heard plenty about the IOS 8 mess)

What exactly is Android? (legit, since the difference between an app and an OS isn't really something she needs to spend time pondering)

Is this Microsoft? (well, no. I just explained how this is Google's OS for devices...phones, tablets, Chromecast, smartwatches and probably her next vehicle)

Well, then, who is Apple? (not really relevant to the conversation, but they made the kid's iPods...the only Apple devices in the house at the moment)

WTF? This is an educated woman, top of her executive game, has owned cell phones for decades, is on her third Android phone and has repeatedly heard the discussions about Apple vs Android. She has had this current Samsung GS4 for over a year and is very happy with it (other than the occasional confusion about where to change things like airplane mode).

Her personal tablet is a Nexus 10 that we have had for almost three years. It is always a conversation generator when guests are over and they want to look something up on the house iPad. Invariably, after explaining that it's not exactly an iPad and this is how you navigate the apps, everyone seems to be able to use it. Luckily, most of our friends have iPad 3's or older, so the Nexus 10 is still pretty nice in comparison. She spends HOURS poking around on that thing.

Her final comment: "Should I get an iPhone?"

spanfucker retire bitch > fink stinger 11/06/2014 at 11:02

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I stopped getting worked up at people not being as technically knowledgeable as me years ago. If I didn't, I probably would have had a stroke by now.

Just remember; their general intellect, their job, their pay rate - none of that has any bearing what-so-ever at how technically literate they are.

RazoE > fink stinger 11/06/2014 at 11:12

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this is you talking to her.

CalzoneGolem > fink stinger 11/06/2014 at 11:12

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IMO She shows a wealth of knowledge to be able to ask those questions.

Textured Soy Protein > fink stinger 11/06/2014 at 11:22

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I'm still trying to get my gf to be comfortable with the Harmony remotes I set up to control our TVs and other assorted crap connected to them.

Rico > fink stinger 11/06/2014 at 11:29

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The answer should've been yes to all those questions.

fink stinger > spanfucker retire bitch 11/06/2014 at 11:32

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Well, I don't really get worked up as much it's a WTF moment when she clearly has no grasp on something we have discussed so many times over so many years. Every other year, she comes home with a list of phones that are available in her plan (it's a company paid phone, so they have a limited list from Verizon). Every time, we have this discussion about whether she should get an iPhone (because everyone has one) or not. Every time, we end up getting her a faster, larger phone with more memory that costs less than the currently available iPhone. It's not like we haven't gone around this tree a few times. The brand recognition thing really makes it difficult to keep the discussion on a logical level.

ACESandEIGHTS > fink stinger 11/06/2014 at 11:36

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Should I get an iPhone is a legit question, even after owning a Samsung Galaxy. I've owned both—I'm still up in the air over which is preferable.

Apple still needs to get f'ing sued for corralling everyone into iMessage and then refusing to let them easily opt out of the program. To this day there are people who cannot/refuse to exchange texts with me because their iMessages addressed to me fail now. AOL and Microsoft got sued for much, much less.

spanfucker retire bitch > fink stinger 11/06/2014 at 11:40

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I've honestly lost count as to how many times I've gone over the same topics with my Mom about computers, over and over and over and over again.

The greatest accomplishment in my IT duties as her son, is that I finally convinced her to begin using a password manager.

fink stinger > CalzoneGolem 11/06/2014 at 11:42

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Well, it's more confusion about what all of the big companies stand for. She has a standard issue corporate Windows 7 laptop running the entire MS Office stack. So, needless to say, the word Microsoft is very much in her day to day conversations at work. They even use the MS owned Great Plains ERP system.

I am VERY careful to never ever add confusion about letting any of the following terms be included in a phone conversation: Windows, Nokia (which kills me, because I was a diehard Nokia fan in the pre-smartphone age), Firefox, Amazon, Ubuntu, Symbian or Palm.

fink stinger > Rico 11/06/2014 at 11:44

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Sometimes, I just answer "42". She doesn't get it.

fink stinger > Textured Soy Protein 11/06/2014 at 11:47

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The Harmony remotes are a godsend. My biggest problem is that they are not very drop-resistant. She broke two of them (pushed off the armrest onto the hardwood floor) before I just went back to using cheap Hauppage remotes and doing everything on the receiver end with lirc.

fink stinger > ACESandEIGHTS 11/06/2014 at 11:56

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I have no problem with someone wanting an iPhone because they genuinely prefer it. The biggest problem I have is her just giving up and thinking she should get one because that is what 'everyone else' has. And, it's not just the humans walking around in close proximity (because they clearly don't all have iPhones). It's the media. I hear it on the radio pretty much every day. Open this on you iPhone. Add this app to your iPhone. Use your iPhone for this or that. iPhone is like Kleenex for smartphones.

Personally, I find the iOS experience a little bit frustrating even though it's beautiful and smooth. I don't have an opinion on the iMessages thing, but have heard about it. Sounds like a company struggling to stay ahead. I do know that the iOS 8 rollout could have been better.

fink stinger > spanfucker retire bitch 11/06/2014 at 11:59

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That is good. I am still working on my parents on the password manager thing. I am very fond of LastPass myself, but they think it's confusing. We are just a few more forgotten passwords away from getting them both on board.

My greatest personal IT accomplishment this year was talking my mom into a Chromebook. Goodbye remote Windows admin.

spanfucker retire bitch > fink stinger 11/06/2014 at 12:05

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Thankfully my Mom is paranoid enough that even things that would you and I would see as completely safe, she texts me about doing first. The last time I had to clean a virus off of her computer was when my sister still used it (she had a penchant for liking FrostWire...ugh).

Between Firefox with ABP, and having MSE + EMET install (god bless EMET) I haven't had to deal with any computer issues regarding infection in a good long while.

Steve in Manhattan > fink stinger 11/06/2014 at 12:06

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Hand her a towel.

CalzoneGolem > fink stinger 11/06/2014 at 12:12

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Ah, Palm

Blue 300 > fink stinger 11/06/2014 at 12:16

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You're lucky to have a wife that is at the top of her executive game. Much better than a wife who's a walking GIZMODO but does nothing else. Just accept that you'll be the hero of the house on this topic. It's a thankless job I know.

fink stinger > CalzoneGolem 11/06/2014 at 12:18

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I know, right? We both had Palm Pilots back in the day. Those were definitely good days. Everyone seems to have forgotten how to make a device with a screen that will run for two weeks on a charge.

CalzoneGolem > fink stinger 11/06/2014 at 12:24

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Just stay off in the internet and don't run any apps.

Meatcoma > fink stinger 11/06/2014 at 12:49

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Sounds like it's time for an upgrade.... "should I get an iPhone"....... shakes head.

fink stinger > Blue 300 11/06/2014 at 13:11

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She's definitely a keeper. Things tend to get a little tense when she brings her work hat home and starts trying to manage me. Everything looks "good enough, let's wrap it up" to her.