Club Openings

"Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire" (arch-duke-maxyenko) 11/03/2014 at 11:00 • Filed to: club openings

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Lurkers. Lurkers. Lurkers of Oppositelock! Oh, don't grovel! If it's one thing I can't stand is people groveling. And don't apologize! I am here to give you a quest in these dark times of the Kinjaverse. This is a quest for authorship on this great blog of Oppositelock.jalopnik.com! You want to be an author?

Well, to bad! We've already got them! You don't frighten us with your silly knees-bent running around advancing behavior! I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

Well,

For those of you who do not know what make Oppositelock one of the greatest places on the internet, I shall give you a brief reminder! We are great because of the authors that we have. It is the authors who make and share the content. To be granted Oppoship is one of the highest callings in all of the internet. But, there are a few things that you must read before you can continue reading:

1. The Rules

2. More Rules

Now then, if you truly want to be granted Oppoship, we will need to !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! And finally after all of this, you will be ready for Oppoship.

To cross the bridge into Oppoship, you must answer these questions three!

1. WHAT is your name? (please provide your url, ex. !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! )

2. WHAT is your quest?

3. WHAT is your current daily driver?

Now, please be patient while we process your request.

Now that you have been granted Oppoship, there is one more thing that you must read.

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

CB > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/01/2014 at 12:02

7

I already have authorship, but I'm just chiming in to say nice touch with the Tool intermission.

GhostZ > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/01/2014 at 12:05

0

I know this isn't the place, but can I be added as an approved commenter to Car Buying?

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > GhostZ 09/01/2014 at 12:05

0

I think that's a Hardibird call.

GhostZ > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/01/2014 at 12:06

0

I don't know if he'll approve me after the event .

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > GhostZ 09/01/2014 at 12:07

0

email him

turbokitten > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/01/2014 at 12:10

1

1. turbokitten.kinja.com

2. To find the Holy Grail

3. FoST

Dusty Ventures > GhostZ 09/01/2014 at 12:11

0

I believe Car Buying is one of those sub-blogs for paid contributors only. Like Flight Club or Truck Yeah.

GhostZ > Dusty Ventures 09/01/2014 at 12:13

1

I mean so that my replies are no longer pending. I should have said 'approved' not 'author.

GhostZ > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/01/2014 at 12:13

0

My bad, I said 'author' in the original post, what I meant was to get out of the gray.

Bad Idea Hat > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/01/2014 at 12:15

11

Gentle People of the Internet! Hear me and be warned! I too was once among the gray masses, but then I was lifted to authorship! Then I quit my job and made $420 a month working at home for Google! http://goo.gl/ZisfO8

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > turbokitten 09/01/2014 at 12:19

0

You should be good to go.

turbokitten > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/01/2014 at 12:20

0

Thank You

Dusty Ventures > GhostZ 09/01/2014 at 12:23

0

Ah, gotcha. In that case I suggest aggressively bugging Tom until he approves you

Leadbull > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/01/2014 at 12:47

6

Is it an African or a European daily driver?

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Leadbull 09/01/2014 at 12:49

0

Yes.

Scb0825 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/01/2014 at 12:51

2

1. http://scb0825.kinja.com/

2. To finish my project Z28 within two years

3. '00 Deville

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Scb0825 09/01/2014 at 12:57

0

Welcome to Oppo

Scb0825 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/01/2014 at 13:03

0

thanks!

thereisnospork > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/01/2014 at 13:11

2

1. thereisnospork.kinja.com

2. Find/build a better rallycross car (Presently a very uncompetitive foxbody mustang)

3. Fiat 500 Abarth

not for canada - australian in disguise > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/01/2014 at 13:11

1

Why hello there!, I have posted on the last Club Openings so i thought i might aswell post here to have a better chance at being noticed, I desire to be an author as i have lurked here for around a year or so, only started commenting recently, and i want to become a part of the mystical Lock Of Opposite, If i am granted this fine privelige, I will be posting about random crap i see on the streets of the city in which i live, Edmonton, Canada, I will also post very WITTY banter*, And anything else that springs to mind, I am currently too young to drive but my family does drive a 2014 Kia Optima, I hope to get an NA Miata or something a little rarer, Such as a Barchetta or an Asuna Sunfire So please, consider adding me!

Also have a brown manual diesel wagon for your troubles:

*May or may not be actually witty

Kinja link: chris534.kinja.com

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > thereisnospork 09/01/2014 at 13:14

0

In

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > not for canada - australian in disguise 09/01/2014 at 13:18

0

In.

not for canada - australian in disguise > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/01/2014 at 13:19

0

Thank you!

The Compromiser > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/01/2014 at 13:45

0

Bbbbbut I'm Canadian! I have to apologize!

Sorry if that came across too harshly.

JAREAL > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/01/2014 at 18:30

0

1. TrackDayBro.kinja.com

2. To locate a shrubbery

3. 2008 Subbie Impreza Outback Sport

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > JAREAL 09/01/2014 at 18:39

0

See if it took.

JAREAL > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/01/2014 at 20:13

0

it did

jtiberius91 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/01/2014 at 23:54

0

1) http://jtiberius91.kinja.com/

2) share in the joy of the oppo kingdom (and get a 911 soon)

3) BMW 640 GC

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > jtiberius91 09/02/2014 at 09:29

1

IN

Mattbob > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/02/2014 at 09:33

0

Star for the use of that song.

505Turbeaux > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/02/2014 at 09:33

0

Are you a mod Archduke?

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > thereisnospork 09/02/2014 at 09:34

1

All three of these are great answers.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Leadbull 09/02/2014 at 09:35

8

Your mother slept with Hamster, and your father drives an Edsel.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > 505Turbeaux 09/02/2014 at 09:36

7

Leon711 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/02/2014 at 09:36

0

1. http://leon711.kinja.com/

2. To share my engineering mishaps with oppo and the odd motorsport and Goodwood Photodump.

3. 1998 MX-5 nb

505Turbeaux > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/02/2014 at 09:37

3

dammit I need to update the list of who I mustn't piss off :)

If so congrats you deserve it

Do-Rif-To > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/02/2014 at 09:38

0

1) http://nwilliams.kinja.com

2) To share the joys of all things amateur rally, ghetto-ass fix'd, and reasonably fast with the world.

3) 4th gen Legacy with funny lights and flaps and soon to be a 2015 WRX in the only acceptable color.

Leadbull > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 09/02/2014 at 09:40

1

Hamsters can't drive, you imbecile.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Leon711 09/02/2014 at 09:40

2

In

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Leadbull 09/02/2014 at 09:42

0

Leon711 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/02/2014 at 09:43

1

I see what you did there.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Do-Rif-To 09/02/2014 at 09:45

0

They sell WRX's in TechnoViolet?

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Leon711 09/02/2014 at 09:46

0

Good.

Will with a W8 races an E30 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/02/2014 at 09:46

0

1. http://hi_im_also_will_too.kinja.com/

2. Correct the grammar/spelling errors in my handle while maintaining its 56 character length, and remember the passwords to Hi_Im_Will, and Hi_Im_Also_Will

3. Passat W8 wagon

BlurpleToyotaDishwasher > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/02/2014 at 09:51

0

To answer your questions;

BlurpleToyotaDishwasher
BlurpleToyotaDishwasher
BlurpleToyotaDishwasher


To make a proper sentence out of point 2. "I wish my blurple Corolla was an AE86", although that's only one of many dumb ideas I come up with from time to time). I mostly just wanted to write "BlurpleToyotaDishwasher" a few times instead of looking it up, but I seem to be an approved commenter but not an author right now.

Do-Rif-To > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/02/2014 at 09:54

0

I'll allow it. Dat World Rally Blue tho'...

spanfucker retire bitch > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/02/2014 at 09:55

0

http://solidstate89.kinja.com/

To bring down the wrath and divine judgement upon the unclean. I mean, to gain authorship on Oppo.

Mazda3 Hatchback

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Will with a W8 races an E30 09/02/2014 at 09:56

0

You're in you masochist.

macanamera > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/02/2014 at 09:57

0

Wait, you are? I didn't know that.

macanamera > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/02/2014 at 09:58

0

You forgot to tell them about the... initiation.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > spanfucker retire bitch 09/02/2014 at 10:01

1

I can't deal with it,

but,

your

in

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > macanamera 09/02/2014 at 10:04

1

macanamera > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/02/2014 at 10:05

0

lulz

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > BlurpleToyotaDishwasher 09/02/2014 at 10:05

0

Questions not properly answered

oneavejoe > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/02/2014 at 10:11

0

1) oneavgjoe.kinja.com

2) Drive it 'til it crashes.

3) '03 Z4 3.0

spanfucker retire bitch > CB 09/02/2014 at 10:15

0

It's always a good idea to post Tool.

spanfucker retire bitch > The Compromiser 09/02/2014 at 10:16

1

http://www.harkavagrant.com/index.php?id=2…

motusid > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/02/2014 at 10:19

0

1. motusid.kinja.com

2. Be part of a community, have been following Oppo for some time, need to join in full time.

3. 2004 Maruti Suzuki Zen

Hope i'm not too late.

Cash Rewards > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/02/2014 at 10:23

0

cashrewards.kinja.com

To actually get back to an autocross this year.

Mk VI GTI

JeepJeremy > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/02/2014 at 10:25

0

I want there to be a JeepOpponik Club!

BlurpleToyotaDishwasher > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/02/2014 at 10:32

0

So to mix movie references, in just repeating one tired Simpsons reference until it was run into the ground, I chose... poorly? :(

Leadbull > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 09/02/2014 at 11:02

0

I really should've seen that coming.

Also, does this mean Richard Hammond is my father?

unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins) > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/02/2014 at 11:17

0

http://unclevanos.kinja.com

Real goal is document my car hitting 200k and the first world problems of an engineering student.

1996 740il

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins) 09/02/2014 at 11:43

0

I have just over 11,000 to go before the big 200K

Sally O'Broder > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/02/2014 at 11:43

0

http://kojirot.kinja.com

Because Manual Transmission , Isuzu sports platforms, and Ion Redlines. Also I am a true Jalopnik as I not only basically drive some duct tape, but I'm also a true Opponaut in that I actually managed to drift it in order to keep control around a corner during some rain a couple weeks ago...and I have narcolepsy .

I guess maybe it's time to stop lurking and post a bunch about my automotive woes or my life with people who actually understand car metaphors.

Also I'm in a huge purchase bind and I need help @_@;

My quest is to get an Ion Redline! Maybe another Geo Storm or one of its siblings somehow. Also I'm a fuel economy/hypermiler nut.

My current daily driver is the duct tape. Its a green 1995 Mitsubishi Mirage S that people think is blue whenever they're drunk for some reason. I call it The Sniper. It's about dead, sadly. JalopMeter score of 70...although there should be a duct tape category and that gives me points.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Leadbull 09/02/2014 at 12:18

0

Perhaps. Are you unnaturally short, and do you have a strange fascination for Mustangs?

Leadbull > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 09/02/2014 at 12:29

0

I'm 6'3", but genetics can play funny tricks on you sometimes.

I'm just going to assume that Richard Hammond is my father.

unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins) > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/02/2014 at 12:29

0

same here. Thanks for the add.

Jedidiah > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/02/2014 at 12:35

0

I think I'm an author already.

I don't show up as grey in the comments, but how do I post to oppositelock and not my blog? I only have the option to post on my personal blog when I compose something.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Leadbull 09/02/2014 at 12:54

0

Good luck getting into the will.

Strange Noises Alou > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/02/2014 at 13:22

0

1. WHAT is your name?
Jake, aka http://strangenoisesalou.kinja.com/

2. WHAT is your quest?
to gain Oppo membership

3. WHAT is your current daily driver?

'86 CRX Si

Smultron > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/02/2014 at 14:28

1

1. http://ixyps.kinja.com

2. Stuff about european/german car culture that I consider interesting or odd or in some way worth sharing with the diverse community which is oppositelock (see I read my rules, eh?). I may include random car sightings (saw a Renault Safrane today! And it had purple taillights...), pictures from events I attended or stories about my opinion towards something car-related which I wish to hear others' to, too.

3. Sadly, none... Won't afford the running costs till I finished education. But sure, if some project to run aside for a reasonable price would emerge near me (some nearly rust-less '78 Golf, that stood still for a decade or longer for like 500 Euros, you know, unlikely to happen, but if it did...), I'd take good care of it for sure.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Jedidiah 09/02/2014 at 15:44

0

Then you're not an author, just an approved commentor.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Strange Noises Alou 09/02/2014 at 15:46

0

In

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Cash Rewards 09/02/2014 at 15:48

1

You have a name like a spambot, but you're not! In.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > JeepJeremy 09/02/2014 at 15:49

0

Answer the questions 3.

Strange Noises Alou > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/02/2014 at 15:58

0

whoo hoo!

JeepJeremy > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/02/2014 at 16:11

0

1: http://jeepjeremy.kinja.com/

2: My quest is to inform fellow jalops (and non jalops) of how cool Jeeps are (and not in the lame "it's a Jeep thing you wouldn't understand" way. I friggin hate that!!! Jeeps are awesome!

3: Daily Driver; 2000 Jeep Wrangler TJ Sport w/ the 4.0 Liter straight six. *And manual transmission because that's the way it should be!

Smultron > Smultron 09/02/2014 at 16:50

0

Thanks.

atfsgeoff > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/05/2014 at 01:32

2

1. http://atfsgeoff.kinja.com/

2. I seek to discuss and entertain with my storied automotive past, present and future, among other things. See also:

3. E34 530i 5spd

TheSpeedAmbassador > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/05/2014 at 18:29

1

1. http://thespeedambassador.kinja.com/

2. Quest - Share interesting automotive, motorcycle, dirtbike, racing developments. Share some of my own stories. Inspire others to work on their own vehicles and to get out and drive them also.

3. 1987 Monte Carlo SS Aerocoupe, 2007 Mustang GT,2008 GSXR 600, 1981 Honda Bobber (build myself, more or less). 2001 silverado for hauling the dirtbike and to drive during the 6 months of crappy weather we get in the midwest.

Check out some stuff i've already written for a taste of the variety of stuff I'm into.

http://mywheellife.com/about/

Sprinty > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/06/2014 at 14:54

1

My name is SPARKY. http://1985sparky.kinja.com/

My quest is to do a write up on various vehicle-related things. (like my first venture in a Miata)

My DD is, er, well.... a Trek 1000. I'm in the market...

Blue.

Kevin Barrett > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/06/2014 at 16:28

1

Can I Oppo?

1.) Name: Kevin Barrett http://kevinbarrett.kinja.com/
2.) Quest: To share car love and contribute to the internet's best community of weirdos.
3.) Daily Driver: 2001 Mazda MX-5 LS w/ Racing Beat VTOL kit

AJF34074923 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/08/2014 at 13:08

0

ajf34074923.kinja.com

I'd like to post about a HUGE car show taking place in a couple of weeks in NJ

I drive a 2014 Maserati GT Sport

MikeofLA > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/10/2014 at 15:11

0

Good Day Arch Duke, I am MikeofLA,

1. WHAT is your name? http://mikeofla.kinja.com/

2. WHAT is your quest? To share insight, humor, car related happenings around Los Angeles and to become a beautiful, gigantic butterfly.

3. WHAT is your current daily driver? - Mazda3 5 door... regretfully, not a manual. A first (and Last) for me.

Your consideration is most appreciated.

JKER > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/12/2014 at 01:18

0

1. http://jker.kinja.com/

2. I've been lurking here for over a year probably, and since my work computers no longer block kinja I finally was able to create an account and I look forward to adding to the discussions here!

3. '08 suzuki sv650, my 4 wheel occasional dd for bad weather is currently an '04 Acura RSX

DanPadge > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/12/2014 at 10:25

0

Long-time lurker, very recent commenter. Hope I'm not too late for this.

1. WHAT is your name? http://danpadge.kinja.com/

2. WHAT is your quest? To be not grey and be able to post cool, relevant stuff on oppo!

3. WHAT is your current daily driver? A 98 Chevy Cavalier tragically. I like to play a game called "Find the shittiest car in the parking lot" and if its not mine, I cheer.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > DanPadge 09/12/2014 at 11:32

0

I'll get to you in a couple of hours

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > JKER 09/12/2014 at 11:34

0

give me a couple of hours

DanPadge > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/12/2014 at 12:21

0

Awesome, thanks!

Sweet Trav > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/13/2014 at 13:44

0

1. http://thespunbearing.kinja.com/

2. To engage in (sometimes) wity banter with other Oppo's whilst enriching the community and fervently defending the Chevrolet Small Block as the greatest engine of all time should someone challenge its greatness.

3. Depends on the day and weather. A '14 Fusion 2.5 or a Resto-Mod 86 Monte Carlo SS

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Sweet Trav 09/13/2014 at 13:46

1

I'll get to it in a bit

Camshaft Chris: Skyline/McLaren/Porsche Fanboy > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/18/2014 at 11:20

0

Hopefully I'm not too late on this one.

1. http://camshaft-chris.kinja.com/

2. It is my quest to build a collection of all sorts of cars with strange but awesome engine swaps.

3. 2012 Ford Fusion SEL (will become FoST once I get my wife a car)

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Camshaft Chris: Skyline/McLaren/Porsche Fanboy 09/18/2014 at 11:28

1

I'll get you later today

Camshaft Chris: Skyline/McLaren/Porsche Fanboy > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/18/2014 at 11:42

0

Thanks!

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Camshaft Chris: Skyline/McLaren/Porsche Fanboy 09/18/2014 at 19:47

1

You're in!

Camshaft Chris: Skyline/McLaren/Porsche Fanboy > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/19/2014 at 07:57

0

Awesome! I really appreciate it man!

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Camshaft Chris: Skyline/McLaren/Porsche Fanboy 09/19/2014 at 09:06

1

No problem, feel free to write an introduction post and use the introductions tag

TFen > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/19/2014 at 20:05

0

1. http://tfen.kinja.com/

2. To waste time at work in the best way possible

3. Whatever's on the lot and my Harley Sportster. (My last cars I actually owned: 2002 325i 5spd and a 2003 Maxima)

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > TFen 09/19/2014 at 20:33

0

Two wheels bad, but you're in.