Off-topic (not about cars): Semi-Rant Reddit Share about Race

"TillTheWheelsFallOff: Brocoma" (TillTheWheelsFallOff)
10/29/2014 at 14:23 • Filed to: None

Buffer Pic, words after the jump.

I am Asian American. I am incredibly proud of my heritage. It is not ok to assume that I am Chinese, Korean, or Vietnamese and just run with it. I am Thai. I am an American. You don't get to "pick." Culture is important, especially if you make an effort to raise your child in it. This is a supreme fuck-up. The poster is deserving of all the negativity he is receiving. While I will not be so bold and claim it is racism, it is offensive. Contrary to what many people think, we do not all look the same.

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DISCUSSION (13)

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > TillTheWheelsFallOff: Brocoma
10/29/2014 at 14:33

I thought that was a severe fuck up. Why not raise him as a normal child? If he wants to find out his heritage let him. The thing is , he probably would have never cared, because if the people that raised him raised him as their own, it wouldn't have mattered who his biological parents were.

OPPOsaurus WRX > TillTheWheelsFallOff: Brocoma
10/29/2014 at 14:38

Well if it makes you feel any better, Thai food is way better than Chinese (ok i know Chinese as we know it isn't really Chinese that just my half ass / half racist attempt to make you feel better) however Pho (Vietnamese) trumps everything. Also why not Thai American? wouldn't that be like saying i'm European American? Yea ask my wife, i associate pretty much everything with food.

.... ok now that i've read the thing you were referring too they done fucked up. it was with good intentions but damn.

Mattbob > TillTheWheelsFallOff: Brocoma
10/29/2014 at 14:39

I don't know if it's racist so much as just a massive fuck up. He probably just thought he knew what race the parents were for some reason or another. I'm sure that it didn't have racist motives, as they wanted to try keep the kids culture even if it was the wrong one.

Do-Rif-To > TillTheWheelsFallOff: Brocoma
10/29/2014 at 14:57

I don't understand all the negativity though? The dude clearly realizes he fucked up hard, hence the posting to I Fucked Up and not LOLLEFUNNYREDDITSTORIES. He states that he got the adopted child from a family with very little information, its reasonable to conclude that either he didn't find out their exact ethnicity or there was a miscommunication along the way, as is common for international adoptions.

SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) > TillTheWheelsFallOff: Brocoma
10/29/2014 at 14:57

I mean, I feel you. Huge fuck up on the parent's part, but I just read a lot of comments and I'm not catching any negativity. Look, the guy messed up. He mess up bad. And he knows it, otherwise he wouldn't have made that post. But you know what? It could have been a lot worse. They could have been the parent's to say (read in the most stereotypical southern accent you can think of) "LOL FUCK YOUR ETHNICITY YOU'RE AMERICAN NOW, PILGRIM! HERE ARE YOUR GUNS, FLAGS, AND INSTITUTIONAL RACISM! YEEEEHAW!" At least they tried to bring him up in a way that they thought were respecting his roots, and they loved him and seemed to be good parents. That's more than a lot of kids can say they have.

Also if the dad could recognize a Korean surname, I doubt he thinks all Asians are the same. The fact that he seemingly didn't even know the surnames of the parents when adopting the kid means he probably didn't know much else, and if you live in an area that is predominantly (actually) Chinese, that's an easy assumption to make when you adopt an infant. Let's be real, infants look like blobs. If you have me a a Russian baby and a European Spanish baby and told me to figure out where they were from I wouldn't have a goddamn clue. I think you're getting a little worked up over someone else's huge personal embarrassment that really is not a big deal. People assume I'm Mexican all the time, when I'm not. I'm Spanish. Whoopty-doo.

ZHP Sparky, the 5th > TillTheWheelsFallOff: Brocoma
10/29/2014 at 15:06

Wow, that's quite the situation the guy is in. I definitely don't think it's racism - if he were racist he probably wouldn't have adopted a baby of a different race than him, lovingly cared for him his whole life, and even tried to assimilate him into what he thought was the kid's culture. It's just ignorance.

I seriously think 99% of the world's problems wouldn't exist if people were less oblivious and just asked questions, instead of assuming things. Obviously this is difficult with most complex things, but when it comes to race and background - it's SO easy. Don't assume anything about anyone.

I'm in a similar boat as you - I'm Sri Lankan (I was born and raised there) - but of course most people assume I'm Indian. In many cases, even if I politely correct them I get a "oh, but that is/was part of India, right?" (no, never in recorded history) / "haha, same thing!" (no) / "well the culture and the language is exactly the same, right!" (no, again!) / "oh wow, you speak really good English!" type of response...and all that does is just makes them sound like more of an idiot (and piss me off even more).

Rule of thumb for life - if you don't know, ask - not assume/tell. I've had a few people actually ask and continue with "oh, honestly I don't know anything about that country/culture" and usually it leads to a really interesting conversation sharing stories and knowledge, which is infinitely better than pissing someone off AND looking like a major idiot.

ACESandEIGHTS > TillTheWheelsFallOff: Brocoma
10/29/2014 at 15:09

I respect you as an American and a Thai person, but here's why this shouldn't be an issue.

I stopped reddit. Cold turkey. DGAF, will occasionally go there if Google leads me to it. Why? Because of this. Because it's everyone's business how this man adopted and raised a son, right? Like they have a say, you know because of course they should: the nameless sages and of reddit. The modern Pharisees, ready to pass judgement on all they know nothing about and have no practical experience in. He didn't abuse his son. Didn't make him a white supremacist only for the kid to find out he's African. Didn't release him into the world clueless and unprepared like some stupid hippie singing "Fly With me, Lesbian Seagull" and expecting the fruits of white privilege.

So he's fluent in Mandarin: far better off in job prospects after college than most right there. Ever wanted to do business between the first and second largest economies in the world? Well there you have the best tools to do it: English and Chinese. And he grew up in a family that made sure he was educated and secure and cared for. And he wasn't the first to have this sort of upbringing. Like a Jew raised as Egyptian, a Moroccan as Dutch, a Pakistani as British, a Brazilian as Filipino, or whatever. This is what happens in America: people become assimilated, and it's been happening for centuries in this place where state matters quite a bit more than race/creed/color/national origin. What if my mother had decided that I should learn Polish and Ukrainian, then later said you're all German and Irish or something who knows but I always had a thing for Eastern Europe. Have I lost out on something? Maybe I developed a passion for pierogies and love of Roman Polanski and I'm determined to make the next Battleship Potemkin but how has this put me behind, this "false identity" my mother has given me?

You know what this father probably deserves for this earnest attempts at raising a good person? Internet scorn. Reddit shaming.

Oh, reddit, with your endless fucking memes and your TILs, and TIFUs, and ELI5s, and neckbeards and knowitalls. Say "YISSSS" again, reddit. Oh, is that not in style? Say "HNNNNGGG" because this is exactly what people say when they're agonizingly excited over something. Every day. What a trite bunch of shit and a huge self-absorbed load of bullying and circle-jerking. As if the majority of reddit could even raise a kid as well as this guy did.

Again, I don't take offense to anything you said—I think this fellow ought to be left alone and shouldn't have aired his "mistake" like this, if it ever even happened, assuming he's not karma farming.

TillTheWheelsFallOff: Brocoma > OPPOsaurus WRX
10/29/2014 at 15:26

Racially and Culturally I am "Thai American." My dad is American as apple pie and freedom. My mom is OG Thai, part of the founding family in her hometown.

TillTheWheelsFallOff: Brocoma > ACESandEIGHTS
10/29/2014 at 15:48

I'm definitely not a redittor, I lurk in class when I'm bored. This really upset me though.

Oh, I 100% agree this is an incredibly personal issue. It should not have been shared on the most public forum. I'm happy the poster adopted and is unconditionally loving his son. The issue is the cultural assumption. The lack of initial effort to find out about his son, especially when he decided to raise him as culturally accurate as possible isn't negligible. Assumption in society has turned me into a pessimist. You can't claim political correctness if you don't bother looking into the issue.

Everyone weighs aspects of life differently, I'm aware of this, but this is my opinion. I'm weighing it on my own values and assumptions, neither is right of me. However, I still am irritated by it, no matter how irrational it is.

TillTheWheelsFallOff: Brocoma > SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O)
10/29/2014 at 15:55

I don't think think culture is a "Whoopty-doo" issue. It's how I define myself and I take it seriously. So I apologize if you think I'm being melodramatic.

The part of story that annoys me the most is the lack of checking on the family's part. If you want to be sure to raise your child with an amount of cultural accuracy, and put a heavy emphasis on it, please, check.

SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) > TillTheWheelsFallOff: Brocoma
10/29/2014 at 16:21

No, culture most certainly is not a "whoopty-doo" issue, but people assuming you are something else and then you correcting them most certainly is. I identify as Spanish-American, and I am very proud of my heritage and culture but I don't care when people assume I'm Mexican or ask "oh, you're Spanish? What kind?" (Because people don't understand the difference between Spanish and Hispanic, apparently). It's an eye-roll moment at worst, and I do think you're being a little melodramatic. That's fine though, because you have every right to be offended by this. I'm not trying to say that your reaction is wrong by any means. I just think that it's a little over the top. I also think I am less offended by stuff like this. Hispanic and Spanish people in general hate being called Mexican. It's seen as disrespectful by a lot of people, to the point where a good friend of mine, who is Colombian, beat the crap out of a kid in high school for calling him Mexican in an insulting manner.

And I completely agree that the parents should have done more research. I'm 100% with you on that one. They fucked up, and the dad is well aware of that. Soon, the entire family will probably be well aware of that. I don't think he is deserving of any negativity though. If he recognizes his own fault and is willing to face the consequences within his family, that should be the end of it... Not that I saw a whole lot of negativity on that post.

TillTheWheelsFallOff: Brocoma > SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O)
10/29/2014 at 16:31

Oh, people have assumed I am Mexican, Chinese, Vietnamese, etc. I don't flip my lid at them, I just correct them, and that's that, no drama. When the interracial Cheerios commercial ad aired, I didn't get angry, I made jokes about both sides, to my friends' surprise.

When I moved to America and someone asked me what kind of Chinese I was, I just shook my head.

Claiming to be politically correct and assuming your adopted son's "culture" is disappointing. The fact that the story centers around Asian culture made it hit home. It's possibly the most sickening double standard I've ever read.

SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) > TillTheWheelsFallOff: Brocoma
10/29/2014 at 16:41

Yeah, I definitely know how you feel to some extent. I used to live in a neighborhood that was mostly black, Mexican and Dominican so everyone assumed I was either Mexican. It was definitely annoying after being there for a couple months, but I just corrected them and moved on.

But, again, totally agree. There's definitely a weird double standard that caused this unfortunate mistake, but at least they tried. I know a number of families with adopted black children (3 families, 4 adopted kids) who don't give a rat's ass about the culture of their children's family. Two of the kids, who are actually biological siblings adopted by the same family, are from New Orleans and their mom is a second generation immigrant from Nigeria, but the adopted family doesn't make any effort to raise the kids with influences from their family's city or country, even though they are well aware of both. To me, that's worse than trying and fucking up.