The contempt, I has it...

"505Turbeaux" (505turbeaux) 10/24/2014 at 15:43 • Filed to: None

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So in my life I have 2 kids with a woman who I am still good friends with but am no longer with. I have a girlfriend, my ex has a boyfriend, we are actually all pretty chummy to each other, life is just fine. Get a call this morning that my ex dropped the girls off, and the car wont start. Sounds like a dead cell, whatever. I offer to drive the 30 min up to give her a jump start on it. She says oh no don't worry, my boyfriend lives right here, I'll have him give me a jump. OK fine, we have talked cars, he seems like he is pretty handy. Great, continue on my work day. I get a call and the guy doesn't even know how to jump a car. What in the fuck? For real? I talk him through it, it starts. She goes and replaces the battery at the parts place. End of story. But seriously, does anyone here not know how to use jumper cables? I am going to go take his man card. I am a little disappointed because this just means I have to continue to be the only one that knows how to do anything until my kids are older. Speaking of which my 5 year old daughter knows how to jump start a damn car!

ttyymmnn > 505Turbeaux 10/24/2014 at 15:45

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I hope that's not washer fluid she's drinking….

Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. > 505Turbeaux 10/24/2014 at 15:46

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" have a girlfriend, she has a boyfriend, "

At first I thought this meant your girlfriend had a boyfriend. That would be rather awkward.

505Turbeaux > ttyymmnn 10/24/2014 at 15:46

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haha nah just one of those tornadoes in a bottle

JGrabowMSt > 505Turbeaux 10/24/2014 at 15:46

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All I know is that the very first step to anything related to electricity is to lick it.

This guy clearly doesn't know how to lick it.

ttyymmnn > 505Turbeaux 10/24/2014 at 15:46

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My father doesn't know how to jump start a car. I'm sure there are plenty of people who don't, and that's a shame. When my oldest starts to drive, we're going to have some lessons on jump starting, changing tires, etc. There's no reason why you shouldn't know those things.

My citroen won't start > 505Turbeaux 10/24/2014 at 15:47

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I do, but I'd never do it to the Citroen.

MIATAAAA > 505Turbeaux 10/24/2014 at 15:48

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Even if he doesn't know how to jump a car... does neither of them have a smart phone that they can Google it on?

Sir_Stig: and toxic masculinity ruins the party again. > 505Turbeaux 10/24/2014 at 15:48

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For a second I thought you said your girlfriend has another boyfriend and I was thinking "well, thats an interesting situation!"

505Turbeaux > Sir_Stig: and toxic masculinity ruins the party again. 10/24/2014 at 15:49

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ha someone else said that!

jvirgs drives a Subaru > Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. 10/24/2014 at 15:49

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I re-read that like 10 times then once I got further it made sense

505Turbeaux > Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. 10/24/2014 at 15:50

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I fixed it!

Coty > 505Turbeaux 10/24/2014 at 15:50

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I read "I have a girlfriend, she has a boyfriend" in a way other than what was intended at first.

505Turbeaux > JGrabowMSt 10/24/2014 at 15:50

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hahahahaha yes, he likely doesn't, and if I remember correctly, she didnt know how to lick it either

jvirgs drives a Subaru > 505Turbeaux 10/24/2014 at 15:50

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Hell even if you don't know how to jump-start a car, just go to the google machine and it will give you like 10000000+ videos on how to do it.

ADabOfOppo; Gone Plaid (Instructables Can Be Confusable) > 505Turbeaux 10/24/2014 at 15:51

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*sheepishly raise hand*

I, uh...would have trouble jumping a car on my own.

In my defense, I have basically only driven a manual, so I don't really need jumper cables so much as a push...

Black to - on both. Red on the + on the good battery. Make sure good car is running. Then Red to + on the bad car???

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > 505Turbeaux 10/24/2014 at 15:52

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I don't remember not knowing how to jump a car. It's about the most basic thing ever. Also, has boyfriend not heard of teh int0rw3bz? I'd be embarrassed to make the call about not knowing how to jump a car...

JGrabowMSt > 505Turbeaux 10/24/2014 at 15:52

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Steve in Manhattan > 505Turbeaux 10/24/2014 at 15:53

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I live in Manhattan and can jump start a car. I might even still be able to rebuild one of the two SU carburetors in my old '72 Volvo. Could change the oil in my '87 300D (HUGE cannister filter, many bolts). Filled that car's differential, did a pan gasket, did a head cover gasket. Helped a friend change a clutch in a different old Volvo once. Spark plugs, wires, I can change them. More difficult stuff? Maybe, but no need now that I have no car.

Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. > jvirgs drives a Subaru 10/24/2014 at 15:53

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I had to read the full article to work it out.

Sir_Stig: and toxic masculinity ruins the party again. > ADabOfOppo; Gone Plaid (Instructables Can Be Confusable) 10/24/2014 at 15:54

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Perfect! I would probably go red + on the good car last, but as long as you put the reds on last you are fine.

Sweet Trav > 505Turbeaux 10/24/2014 at 15:54

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Cute Kid.

Dont take his man card... Take his Driver's License, Knowing how to jump start a car should be mandatory to drive.

505Turbeaux > Sweet Trav 10/24/2014 at 15:55

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100% with tire changing

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Steve in Manhattan 10/24/2014 at 15:56

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Wait, what? My '87 300D only requires two bolts to get the canister out. Of course, you could remove more bolts than that, if you wanted to. Did you want to?

Sweet Trav > 505Turbeaux 10/24/2014 at 15:56

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And checking the oil/fluids, what they smell like/look like and plugging a tire.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > ADabOfOppo; Gone Plaid (Instructables Can Be Confusable) 10/24/2014 at 15:58

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It actually works more smoothly if you connect the grounds last. That way you don't run as high a risk of arcing to something with the red.

CalzoneGolem > 505Turbeaux 10/24/2014 at 15:59

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My wife doesn't know how to jump a car but she has cables in her car and she knows it. Baby steps!

Sweet Trav > Sweet Trav 10/24/2014 at 16:00

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why aren't we making up the curriculum for drivers training?

ADabOfOppo; Gone Plaid (Instructables Can Be Confusable) > Sir_Stig: and toxic masculinity ruins the party again. 10/24/2014 at 16:00

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Cool. I'm not an idiot. Thanks.

Steve in Manhattan > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 10/24/2014 at 16:00

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Am I confusing it with something else, or misremembering? I just remember that it took a long time to do. Curious - have you done the trap oxidizer and turbo in yours? Mercedes acknowledge the problem and replaced both long after the car was out of warranty.

And they're great machines, aren't they! That E Class was just before MB started heading downhill as far as quality. I can still remember the sound of the door shutting. Like a bank vault. And photos please! Mine was dark blue/grey tex - bought it nearly 9K under sticker, last day of the year 1987 - no one wanted it because it didn't have leather.

ADabOfOppo; Gone Plaid (Instructables Can Be Confusable) > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 10/24/2014 at 16:01

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Okay. Good to know. Which - terminal last, bad car or good one?

Sir_Stig: and toxic masculinity ruins the party again. > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 10/24/2014 at 16:02

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DC current actually flows negative to positive.

mazda616 > 505Turbeaux 10/24/2014 at 16:07

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Took me a while when I first jumped someone with my car after I first got it. Because the battery is hidden under like three weird plastic covers.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Sir_Stig: and toxic masculinity ruins the party again. 10/24/2014 at 16:08

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Yes. However, if you're poking around with cables under a hood, you run a much higher risk of arcing to something grounded while connecting the positive lead than if the ground is unconnected at that point. You eliminate the risk of dead shorting either car if you connect the positive leads first, that's what I meant. I'm not an idiot thinking that the direction of electron flow is particularly meaningful in this case.

Alfalfa > 505Turbeaux 10/24/2014 at 16:09

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If I can successfully change a timing belt from internet instructions, surely an average Joe can learn how to jump a car from Google. My goodness.

Milky > 505Turbeaux 10/24/2014 at 16:11

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I can't even remember not knowing how to jump a car. I guess thats why people get AAA.

FKA-RacecaR > 505Turbeaux 10/24/2014 at 16:12

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On the set I have, it has a tag with instructions on it. I always double check myself just because I have a fear of blowing things up (or just making things worse).

I've always gone red (dead), red (good), black (good), black (dead), start good car, start dead car. After reading some other comments, sounds like you can do it other ways?

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Steve in Manhattan 10/24/2014 at 16:13

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The oil filter fights with the engine compartment baffle, but to actually withdraw it only requires the two opposite bolts for the lid - the center post pulls out with the lid and the whole mess drains into the pain.

The trap oxidizer in mine was knocked out many years ago, when my great uncle owned it. The turbo has been functionally useless about as long as I've had it - I think. It certainly has less kick than an OM617 turbo, so it's probably more that it's not operating up to spec than dead per se. The odometer died about the time it sat for a while before I got it, though I think it was still working intermittently. Last recorded mileage was 319,640.

Definitely an excellent machine, I've compared it to a comfortable pair of paints on multiple occasions.

Sir_Stig: and toxic masculinity ruins the party again. > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 10/24/2014 at 16:14

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True. Really as long as polarities are correct it doesn't really matter how it's done.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > ADabOfOppo; Gone Plaid (Instructables Can Be Confusable) 10/24/2014 at 16:17

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If the dead car is solidly dead, then there will be a bit of arc whenever you connect the last step. The current rating of good jumper cables means that any sort of surge experienced by the systems won't be that different based on which one it is. Where should that arc best be? Hard to say - if you're not into scarring up your donor's terminals, save it for the dead car, but the dead car (if the battery is dead and hasn't been taking a charge) might have hydrogen buildup, or something else flammable. Personal choice, really.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Sir_Stig: and toxic masculinity ruins the party again. 10/24/2014 at 16:20

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I used to always connect red first, until I thought about it. In a relative sense, connecting the "hot" lead last doesn't have a reason, because both leads are equally "hot" relative to each other. It comes down, then, to what else is being *made* hot, and if you're trying to thread a positive lead somewhere abhorrent down in a deep battery pit, it helps not to electrify the whole surrounding area first.

Steve in Manhattan > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 10/24/2014 at 16:21

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If 319,640 is in miles, you've gotten to the moon (24oK) and are on your way back.

And what did mine have the day I drove it off the lot? 180 BHP? Nope - looked it up - 150 ponies . Ever thought of taking a turbo off a junker and bolting it on?

Racescort666 > Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. 10/24/2014 at 16:22

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I bet it would be awkward. Especially when you called him to help jump start her car. If YA know what I mean...

I feel like that was dirty. Was it dirty?

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Steve in Manhattan 10/24/2014 at 16:25

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Yep, miles, and I figure I've done probably 60k or so since.

Junk turbo? It's possible. If I ever sink megabucks into it, though, the injector pump probably needs attention. I keep having injector rattle despite going through some of the injectors with a test stand and not finding anything. My guess, I've got a chamber not pulling its weight. That, and the pumps frequently require fiddling with the ALDA valve at that age.

RallyWrench > 505Turbeaux 10/24/2014 at 16:25

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If it was up to me, one could not get a license without demonstrating the ability to jump a car, change a wheel, check tire pressures, and check fluid levels. The complete lack of mechanical aptitude & basic emergency knowledge is staggering. These will be largely irrelevant skills within our lifetimes, or course, but people need to know them, dammit!

It is funny, though, when the boyfriend/husband/guy friend tries to take over the discourse with female clients and clearly doesn't know a fucking thing. Better to keep your mouth shut & let everyone think you're a fool than to open it and erase all doubt. The women almost inevitably listen better and actually show an interest in learning about how to take care of things properly, and the guys get in the way. It is so hard for me to be diplomatic in that situation, because those dudes need to be told to shut the fuck up & listen.

Galileo Humpkins (aka MC Clap Yo Handz) > 505Turbeaux 10/24/2014 at 16:34

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505Turbeaux > RallyWrench 10/24/2014 at 16:34

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all of this ^^^

505Turbeaux > Galileo Humpkins (aka MC Clap Yo Handz) 10/24/2014 at 16:35

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100% :)

Steve in Manhattan > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 10/24/2014 at 16:37

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Got out of law school in '97 and gave serious thought to seeking out an unmolested low mileage '87 300TD - the car I'd really wanted 10 years earlier. Changed my mind, went to buy a Mustang droptop with a 5 speed, and discovered my legs were too long and I couldn't get far enough from the clutch. Wound up with a '97 SHO, which I loved.

Footnote - as I've said before in this space, tried to buy a new '96 SVX from a dealer, but they insisted on near the $36K sticker. The car had been withdrawn from the market by Subaru at that point, and I told them as much. $27,500, tax and tags (generous at that point!), and I'll take it home. They said no. For all I know, the car might still be sitting on their lot .

uofime > 505Turbeaux 10/24/2014 at 16:37

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to hell with not knowing how to do it himself it's embarrassing that he wasn't competent enough to do one google/youtube search. I'm positive there are thousands of videos and tens of how-to presentations on how to do this. I get pissed off when people are unwilling to make the slightest effort to find the answer to things on their own.

Sir_Stig: and toxic masculinity ruins the party again. > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 10/24/2014 at 16:40

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That's true, might as well decrease chances of completing the circuit somewhere you don't want it to.

T5Killer > Sweet Trav 10/24/2014 at 16:42

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Plugging a tire? As in a tire patch? I have never done that and I have done a few engine rebuilds, t-5 manual trans rebuilds and tons of clutches, repair work.

Roundbadge > 505Turbeaux 10/24/2014 at 16:52

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One of the guys I work with was standing in front of his car the other day, on the phone, as I was leaving. He waved frantically at me and said he couldn't start his car, to which I offered a jump.

He's never attempted to indicate he has mechanical aptitude, but he is a techie kind of guy. I was a little disappointed when I handed him the ends of the jumper cables and he just looked at me. I'd have had real contempt if he had pretended to have knowledge before, but since he didn't I had to give him a pass.

That's the only one he gets, though.

T5Killer > Galileo Humpkins (aka MC Clap Yo Handz) 10/24/2014 at 18:48

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If thats wrong I don't want to be right

cayman2007 > 505Turbeaux 10/24/2014 at 21:16

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This is why I never speak to my ex...