Late night thoughts

"GeorgeyBoy" (georgeyboy)
10/16/2014 at 00:39 • Filed to: None

I have this problem with girls. I always seem to have a girlfriend.

Great right? Not really. I seriously don't know what to say but I don't even like my current girlfriend. I don't know if it's the stress I'm going through, or that I'm just more focused on my career and money...

It sucks because she honestly really likes me, I've been through a ton with her. Some very bad situations, I'll just put it at that. I don't know where she would be without me. At the same time, I've kind of hinted that my future comes before whatever this relationship is.

Really have no idea what to do. Everytime I'm with her I can't wait to be alone. I have trouble keeping communication with her. Pretty much the same feeling I get when I meet another girl, but this time there isn't another girl. I've just been deep into my work, rest of school, job interviews etc.

Any advice, input, criticism, slaps, appreciated.

DISCUSSION (23)

ly2v8-Brian > GeorgeyBoy
10/16/2014 at 00:45

That's odd to say the least. At least you have a girlfriend.

Doge_Supreme drives a BRZ > GeorgeyBoy
10/16/2014 at 00:46

I say break up with her. Seems like any continuation of the relationship will probably hurt both parties in the long run. May be hard for her at first, but it seems you're already out of the relationship emotionally for the most part. Just let her down easy.

GeorgeyBoy > ly2v8-Brian
10/16/2014 at 00:49

Hope I didn't come off as an asshole or something. Girlfriend and someone you actually love are two different things. I envy people who have someone they truly want to be with.

GeorgeyBoy > Doge_Supreme drives a BRZ
10/16/2014 at 00:50

I would agree, but soo sooo much harder than it sounds. Don't even know where to begin.

Bandit > Doge_Supreme drives a BRZ
10/16/2014 at 00:51

I second this. I was in the same position as you a while ago. Broke up with the girl I didn't really like but that I helped through several problems (suicidal tendencies...) and several months later I started dating the girl I've been friends with for years. I couldn't be happier.

bob and john > GeorgeyBoy
10/16/2014 at 00:52

my tip?

the two of you go out and be gone for a couple of days. no talk with the offic, no hmk, no nothing. go to a theme park. go camping. go for a nice drive. letting work and school get to you is a dangerous situation to get into, you keep striving for something, but you dont get to enjoy it because you dont have the time.

if you still dont feel anything with her...then you may want to mention it. there really is nothing worse then being in a 1 sided relationship. dont just flat out dump her right away, but just say something like: "I dont know when this happened..but...something got lost between us. And we should work it out" and go from there.

JBurd67 > GeorgeyBoy
10/16/2014 at 00:53

Sounds like you should consider ending it. It's rough, but the truth is it'll likely be best for both of you. It really sucks for her too, but I'd find it hard to keep her with me like that (even if she wants to be) when I get nothing out of it. It'll be better for her too, especially if you don't like her.

I also have a problem with girls: I never seem to have a girlfriend. (Count your blessings)

Good luck!

HammerheadFistpunch > GeorgeyBoy
10/16/2014 at 00:58

maybe its not her? I dunno man, ive been married for 7 years now so what do iknow about dating. One thing i will saw is that it takes commitment; where your treasure is there will your heart be also. Sounds like you aren't there, for whatever reason, but as a thought to consider; maybe its not her, maybe you treasure just is elsewhere right now. That being said, i think a heart felt personal inventory is in order to evaluate if you are giving your attentions to the right things, or at the very least, to put value in your investment as a couple and weigh it in the balance. Just my 2 cents.

GeorgeyBoy > bob and john
10/16/2014 at 00:59

Thought about saying something like that. I fear I might regret it, I just don't know. We went on vacation this weekend, I hoped something would change after it but sadly no.

GeorgeyBoy > JBurd67
10/16/2014 at 01:01

Thanks!

Big Bubba Ray > GeorgeyBoy
10/16/2014 at 01:02

I'd say to let her down easy. If you keep stringing the relationship along, things are just going to be harder for both of you down the road.

I don't know exactly what stuff you and your gal have been through, but I understand that as well. Trying to keep details to a minimum, my ex was abused as a child and was holding in a lot of pain and hatred. She spiraled into really deep depression when we were dating and I was the only person (literally the only person. She hadn't even shared this stuff with her parents or best friend) who knew what happened to her in the past. I helped her work through all of it, hopefully without sounding cocky, possibly saved her life.

I was kind of in the same position as you are now. After dating her for a few years I realized that I was too busy with work/school/life to really have a relationship and things started to fade between the two of us and went on longer than it should have. Breaking up wasn't easy, by any means, but it was probably the best thing for both of us.

HammerheadFistpunch > GeorgeyBoy
10/16/2014 at 01:02

I should also add that the girl i was dating before my wife and i started dating was exactly this; she needed me, helped her through some times times, lots of emotional investment...but i wasn't committed and i knew it so i broke it off. It was hard on her but it worked out.

GeorgeyBoy > Big Bubba Ray
10/16/2014 at 01:06

I've shared a bad experience we went through on here a couple months ago. Without really bringing it back up, it is very hard on me and I can't imagine how hard it is on her. I would have to say your situation sounds a lot like mine.

GeorgeyBoy > HammerheadFistpunch
10/16/2014 at 01:08

That's great advice.

BiggsHoson > GeorgeyBoy
10/16/2014 at 01:14

Keep the E-type and get some side action, something Japanese from the 80s. Y'know, mix it up.

Big Bubba Ray > GeorgeyBoy
10/16/2014 at 01:16

I do vaguely remember your posts about that incident. It reminded me a lot of the what my ex went through as a kid. Definitely not an easy situation for either of us when problems first arose, but far harder for her to deal with.

Take your time on the decision with your girl. I know it's not an easy one. Good luck to you sir.

JKER > GeorgeyBoy
10/16/2014 at 01:19

I have the opposite problem, I'm always going out with girls but never have a girlfriend. For this exact reason, I don't want to be in your shoes where you have a girlfriend that you aren't in love with. If you can't fully commit to her, don't commit at all. I would say that you need to break it off as soon as possible, and I wouldn't suggest hanging out or talking to her very much after breaking up it will just make it harder especially for her. From what you've said, she's not The One so being with her is going to just be a waste of time.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > GeorgeyBoy
10/16/2014 at 01:23

You didn't, but I'm about to come off as such. As much as I'd like to have a relationship, it's unfortunate stories like this, that make me thankful as hell that I'm not in one. I've got cars to think/worry about. Will I be envious as hell that some people have what I'd like to have? Of course, but with things like this, I'm "happily " single.

Sorry.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > ly2v8-Brian
10/16/2014 at 01:23

Preach, to an extent.

ly2v8-Brian > K-Roll-PorscheTamer
10/16/2014 at 01:35

But I'm too shy to do anything about it so meh.

ly2v8-Brian > GeorgeyBoy
10/16/2014 at 01:37

No, but I hope you tell her what you feel. Might not be the same on her end of this. Not a good situ for either party, I guess.

Sprinty > GeorgeyBoy
10/16/2014 at 01:40

I've absolutely been there before. It is noble to be thinking of her, but at the same time, you have to be thinking of yourself as well. If you don't see yourself with her in the future, then it doesn't make a ton of sense to stick with it, for either of your sakes.

bhardoin > GeorgeyBoy
10/16/2014 at 10:42

You gotta let her off easy. Have an honest, two sided talk, and make sure she understands that its not that you don't care about her (you obviously do or you wouldn't even bring this up) you're just not in love with her. It'll be tough on her, but if you tell her that truth she'll know it's over. Offer to stay in touch if she needs you (it sounds like she might) but make sure she understands she's not going to win you over.