The Totally True Story of When I owned 25 Yugos, Because I Couldn't Say No

"Old-Busted-Hotness" (old-busted-hotness)
10/13/2014 at 12:24 • Filed to: None

Speedster story below, after the intro stuff.

It started innocently enough, in 1988. I actually bought a new Yugo, because at $3990 it was damn near free. The payment was less than the monthly gas bill for the Caprice I traded in, anyway. I drove that car for 8 or 9 years.

Fast forward to 1992. Yugo America had gone tits-up again, NATO had just bombed the Yugo factory because it looked like the Zastava weapons plant or something, the North American parts inventory was locked in a New Jersey warehouse (where it stayed until last year) and nobody wanted a Yugo anymore.

So people would stop me and ask if I wanted another. Who's gonna turn down a free car? Not me. Although I paid for maybe half of them, most people just wanted the damn things out of their driveway. I had a nice big yard, so I kept accumulating them. And some Fiats, because why not, they're family.

One of them got made into an autocrosser. Two, actually. This is the second one. The first one rolled and slid 125 feet on its roof. A friend gave me some Goodyear cantilever road-race slicks, and I put them on. Guess they were too sticky. The second iteration wore 185/60-13 street tires.

Since the rollover happened at the end of the season I had all winter to prepare a new weapon. So this one got a Strada 1500 short block with an early Yugo 1100 head (nice compression bump there, up to around 11:1), a Faza cam and a port/polish job. I don't know how powerful it was, but it was a rumbly beast of a 1500. I'm guessing 100-110 HP. Anyway it ran the cones about as fast as the Street Prepared Mustang GT's, but of course I was in D Mod, up against That Guy With The Caterham, who stole all my trophies.

The Speedster was a $50 barely-runner. I cut the top off with a Sawzall and welded the hood from a Strada over the back-seat area. Foam and bondo covered up the gaps, then I painted it because the thing was so damn funny.

Another Sawzall special. I got a lot of use out of this one. It started out as a GVL (oooh, luxury!) that had swallowed a valve. The piston was damaged but I gave no fucks, just put another head on it and drove it for another 6 or 7 years. At then end of its life it had virtually no compression. 50-60 psi in all cylinders. But it ran great. Those are Lancia 14-inch wheels in the pic.

This is the original Yugo, now cleverly disguised as a BMW. Way too many people fell for it, including a cop who had to check the VIN before he'd believe it was really a Yugo. I thought it was pretty obvious.

More after the break.

DISCUSSION (24)

Party-vi > Old-Busted-Hotness
10/13/2014 at 12:25

Kinja'd!!!

Lulz

For Sweden > Old-Busted-Hotness
10/13/2014 at 12:28

This is good Oppo

505Turbeaux > Old-Busted-Hotness
10/13/2014 at 12:32

I chopped the roof off a 2002 once, welded the doors up, and hooned. Best free car I ever drove to death

Jobjoris > Old-Busted-Hotness
10/13/2014 at 12:34

I don't get the break? Awesome story this far nevertheless...

 > Old-Busted-Hotness
10/13/2014 at 12:35

Kinja'd!!!

1980 BMW 1 series.

Old-Busted-Hotness > Old-Busted-Hotness
10/13/2014 at 12:37

So what's with the yellow one beside the pickup there? That is one of the very rare factory Cabrios. There is a great and not very interesting debate on the actual number produced, so decide whether it's 72, 75 or 85 cars yourself. In any event it's not many.

Kinja'd!!!

This one I paid $1800 for, even though it wouldn't hardly get around the block under its own power. Fuel tank had a ton of rust. But since it was carbureted I had several extras. Also, I didn't get the key when I bought it (long and possibly felonious story here) but one of my extras fit just fine. This had around 9,000 miles on when I picked it up.

The Cabrio had everything they could throw at it. Cushy(ish) seats, actual upholstery on the door panels, alloy wheels, cassette player... and that's about it. The Cabrios started out as GVX (sport!) models and were shipped off to Michigan to have their tops cut off. They got reinforcing bits under the chassis to help with flex. It didn't. This car didn't flex much less than the Speedster, which flexed a lot.

Old-Busted-Hotness > Old-Busted-Hotness
10/13/2014 at 12:50

Kinja'd!!!

Have a Fiat Strada for your trouble. This is where the short block for the race car came from.

The orignal race car's corpse is sitting behind it, with the roof caved in.

Kinja'd!!!

So here's a couple shots of the Speedster. In the first one, you can see what a Yugo looks like when you hack the roof off. The white car in the background of both pics is my Fiat 128 more-door, which never ran but seems to have moved around a lot anyway.

The red Yugo in the second pic was my "new" daily driver. This was a '90 GV Plus, the EFI model. Bought with a salvage title because the front fenders and struts were damaged in a wreck, and that was enough to total the thing. It took me about 4 hours to repair, plus the time needed for paint. I think I paid $350 for this one, with 11,000 miles on the clock, around 1994. It ran real good for a real long time. I don't remember where the window louver came from, probably my junkyard-owner buddy who kept feeding my bad habits. The roof rack I already had, from one of my parts cars.

Old-Busted-Hotness > Jobjoris
10/13/2014 at 12:53

I got Kinja'd the first time I typed it. Didn't want to lose it all a second time.

Old-Busted-Hotness >
10/13/2014 at 12:53

I had a 164 badge from an Alfa on the deck lid.

JGrabowMSt > Old-Busted-Hotness
10/13/2014 at 12:54

A first Gen Neon hidden back there?

I like the way you think.

Old-Busted-Hotness > Party-vi
10/13/2014 at 12:55

Zero fucks given. When they plowed the snow off the lot at work there was a pile of the stuff 7 feet high. I got a 30 mph run at it and it went right over. There was no crap left in that car; it all got beaten out.

Bad Idea Hat > Old-Busted-Hotness
10/13/2014 at 13:00

You are my god.

I mean, specifically, I worship you for the ability to feel that much pain. Also, you managed to slide a Yugo farther on its roof than it would have gone had anything broken while all four wheels were on the ground.

Old-Busted-Hotness > Old-Busted-Hotness
10/13/2014 at 13:05

Kinja'd!!!

This is the last one I bought, a '91 GV Plus. Bad fuel pump. Got this one and its dark-blue brother for $400. Another good runner after the fix. Low miles on this one, too. Maybe 20K? I disremember after 20 years.

The ones I could fix and flip, I did. Never had a come-back so either I did it right or the buyers didn't expect too much.

The ones that were too far gone got parted out, or cut up in a fit of drunken giggles.

Anyway, that's the story. Told ya it wasn't much of one.

I Do It For Miatas, NC Owner > Old-Busted-Hotness
10/13/2014 at 13:12

This is the most glorious thing I've read on Oppo

ACESandEIGHTS > Old-Busted-Hotness
10/13/2014 at 14:31

Kinja'd!!!

CD101 + Ohio State. True story: Listened to DC101 for years and everyone complained about this DJ "Danielle" and her awful midwestern accent. I paid no mind, didn't seem like a big deal. Moved to CD101's domain and had to deal with f'ing Lesley James, the most grating schnasty accent known to radio, ran the gamut from Baltimore, Philly, Pittsburgh, Cleveland, Grand Rapids—all kinds of sear-your-eardrums badness being broadcast daily. I'd had no idea how good I had it in DC.

That Yugo with the louvered back window is epic. EPIC.

mad.anthony > Old-Busted-Hotness
10/13/2014 at 15:28

So what is the story with the Yugo parts in the NJ warehouse anyway? My parents live in NJ, so I remember seeing the ads for them when they were auctioned off. I briefly considered bidding and trying to resell them on eBay, but the minimum bid was 10k. and I wasn't sure there were enough Yugo owners out there to make it back off of.

Old-Busted-Hotness > mad.anthony
10/13/2014 at 15:43

The parts were seized as assets during the bankruptcy proceedings. I guess the government felt it was necessary to hang onto them for 20 years before they sold 'em off. During that time at least one buyer tried to buy all or part of it, but were told "it's all tied up in court."

Old-Busted-Hotness > Old-Busted-Hotness
10/13/2014 at 21:58

One more tidbit I just remembered:

I mentioned the junkyard-owning friend who enabled and encouraged this behavior. One day he calls me at work and says "hey, you want another Yugo?" Sure! "Good, cause it's sitting in your driveway." This happened more than once.

wuzilla > Old-Busted-Hotness
10/14/2014 at 09:46

Very enjoyable read. Much more enjoyable then most of the crap on Jalopnik.

Old-Busted-Hotness > wuzilla
10/14/2014 at 10:36

Thank you. It'll never see the FP because there's no fap-Lambo, but it was fun to write.

Old-Busted-Hotness > JGrabowMSt
10/14/2014 at 10:37

That was wifey's car, and puts a date on this pic. 1995

BenLikesCars > Old-Busted-Hotness
10/14/2014 at 19:25

COOL.

Syscrush > Old-Busted-Hotness
10/16/2014 at 10:18

Give yourself some credit, I love this post and the stories behind it. :)

Phil_L > Old-Busted-Hotness
11/26/2014 at 11:37

"Good, cause it's sitting in your driveway."

Best Jalop-lifestyle quote I've seen in a long time.