Whilst being oblivious, I have learnt something!

"4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30" (4muddyfeet)
10/03/2014 at 18:38 • Filed to: None

Following on from For Swedens reply;

Everyone's making race, creed, gender identity, sexual preference, political affiliation or fanboy group drama and I'm just wondering my my Volvo's automatic headlight function isn't working properly.

I have also been wondering why the electrics on the Defender aren't working properly (yeh yeh, Lucas electrics fizz bang melt). My indicators are running double-time, the hazards don't work, and my front sidelights are very dim. This sounds like the perfect excuse to stop work at 3pm on a Friday and head up the yard for a quick tinker; and after removing potato fields of verdigris and soldering a wire, I'm 2/3rds good. The sidelights have me stumped, so I do some pre-flight checks (and that is exactly what I call them in my head).

Now at this point I should tell you that this Defender is ex-MOD, and as such has a few switches and knobs that aren't available on the standard. These are happily placed exactly where the totally-not-useful-at-all stereo should be. One of them is an orange pull and twist knob, which is uncharacteristically not labelled.

My pre-flight checks involve me pushing, pulling, twisting, prodding and generally molesting as many electric component switches I can find while my colleague stands outside and tell me what lights up, what doesn't, and perhaps more crucially, what's on fire.

And then I came to the orange knob. We found that when pulled out, with the engine on, it operates the sidelights independently of the lighting master switch. Pointless. When twisted it does nothing apart from glow orange until let go. Now as I have an inquisitive mind, and knowing that the master lighting switch will work with the engine on or off, I tried the orange knob with the engine off to see how it's wired. Nothing. It's separate to the master lighting circuit. So I flicked the sidelights on with the proper switch... and the goddamn oil and coil lights lit up. Wow. No keys + sidelights + orange knob = pre-ignition. This happens with no other combination of switches. If I were to flick the master lighting switch forward once more to dipped beam, the oil and coil lights switch off. So can you guess what happens when you turn the orange knob when pulled out, eh?! That's right motherlovers; coded, keyless ignition in a 1997 Landrover Defender. Why in the hell REME decided to wire up a bog standard Landy with a redneck keyless ignition system I don't know, but it has MADE MY DAY. Then I went for a pint, which was also sort of excellent.

Now if any of you know where I live and know the car and are thinking dirty twocking thoughts you can sod off. It's fully booby trapped by factory default.

DISCUSSION (15)

twochevrons > 4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30
10/03/2014 at 18:47

This made me laugh out loud. Because I've done the exact same thing with the comically dodgy electrical system in my MGA.

I present, the Lucas guide to fuse replacement:

Kinja'd!!!

4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30 > twochevrons
10/03/2014 at 18:53

Oh god, the cheese triangle! I have to admit I've used a bolt or two before in the Series III fuse box (3 fuses for all non-engine electronics...)

twochevrons > 4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30
10/03/2014 at 19:01

Heh, my MGA has that beat. Two fuses. One for the ignition, wipers and fuel gauge, one for the horn. They didn't even bother fusing any of the lighting circuits, as I found out when a wire came off the headlight switch and caused all sorts of behind-the-dash fireworks.

It also has a handy keyless entry and ignition system – no door locks (or even external door handles), and I learned, completely accidentally, that you can hot-wire the car by removing the ignition fuse and placing between the two fuse holders – it fits perfectly, and bridges the always-live horn supply to the ignition circuit. Handy.

4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30 > twochevrons
10/03/2014 at 19:05

Haha the genius of Rover! Do you have to jump the fuse out once started, or is it just pre-ignition?

twochevrons > 4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30
10/03/2014 at 19:12

It has the exact same effect as turning the ignition key on, so you're good to go with the fuse in place!

I used to have a Rover SD1 that had similar levels of electrical quirkiness. When I got it, the power windows and central locking tended to just do their own thing, regardless of whether you wanted them to or not, and setting the wipers to intermittent would cause smoke to emanate from under the dash. Also, the ignition switch got really hot, could be turned with a screwdriver, and allowed you to remove the key with the engine running. I discovered these three properties after I had to run back into the house to get something after starting the car, left the keys at home, then found out, halfway across town, that I had no way of shutting the thing off.

I eventually got nearly all the bugs nailed down, but the floors started rusting out at the same time, and lacking a welder, I decided to cut my losses.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > 4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30
10/03/2014 at 19:17

I think you're just low on Lucas smoke. I have a couple of spare cans lying around if you need some.

Kinja'd!!!

4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30 > twochevrons
10/03/2014 at 19:19

You're making me grin like an idiot. I'm glad I'm not alone with Rovers, rust and electronics. Always fancied the SD1 but wouldn't know where to start in what is good and what is bad. Did you have the V8?

4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30 > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
10/03/2014 at 19:22

Gimme! The heater system in the Series is gonna need some this winter

twochevrons > 4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30
10/03/2014 at 19:26

Yep, it was a post-facelift 3500SE. Not the plush Vanden Plas or sporty Vitesse, but it was a huge amount of fun, and it sounded magnificent.

The straight-six SD1s are supposed to be rather good, too, and it's much easier to find them with the manual transmission. The 3-speed auto that most of the V8s got is an ancient design, and nothing terribly impressive – it definitely takes the edge off the performance. As far as I'm aware, the Vitesse was the only V8 model available with a manual 'box, and they're relatively rare.

If you can put up with a tendency to rust, and some pretty dodgy '80s Leyland build quality, they're great cars. They're comfortable, hugely practical (although the slanting tailgate limits height, the load area rivals large station wagons), and thoroughly entertaining to drive, too. With the V8, they're decently quick (the Vitesse gets into properly-fast territory), and although the live rear axle means that the handling isn't terribly sophisticated, it's utterly hilarious in terms of sideways-all-the-time controllable oversteer. Mine never failed to put a big dumb grin on my face, even when it was leaking every fluid it had and starting small electrical fires. I miss it.

4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30 > twochevrons
10/03/2014 at 19:40

Mine never failed to put a big dumb grin on my face, even when it was leaking every fluid it had and starting small electrical fires. I miss it.

And that is why I can't get rid of the Series Landrover. I made the same mistake with a E23 7 series and promised I wouldn't do it again. I feel your pain man, I really do. Although I run the exponential curve of wind resistance and body roll, rather than the svelte fastback line of pure speed

twochevrons > 4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30
10/03/2014 at 23:18

Yeah, I ended up replacing the SD1 with a Citroën Xantia. It was an interesting car, and fantastic in its own right, but it definitely wasn't as grin-inducingly fun as the SD1 was.

I really do miss selling the Rover, but I'd like to think that I've made up for its absence, even if it is three cars that now replace it: a MK2 VW Scirocco because it is roughly the same shape, the aforementioned MGA roadster for RWD shenanigans and entertaining handling, and a Volvo 850R wagon for monstrous amounts of torque and load-carrying capacity.

I do really want to own a Series Land Rover one day. I live in the US now (when I owned the Rover and Citroën, I was in New Zealand), so they're rare as hen's teeth, and commensurately expensive. Still, if I ever end up back in NZ, or in the UK, and have the need for off-road capability, a Land Rover or early Range Rover is definitely high on the list. Are ex-MOD Land Rovers fairly easy to come by in Britain, like ex-police Ford Crown Victorias are in the US? Sounds like that would be a good way to get a cheap but well-maintained example.

4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30 > twochevrons
10/04/2014 at 13:42

They're not prolific but you certainly pass the odd one or two on a long journey. Buying them is fairly simple as long as you're not too fussy about a specific type. I have the 300tdi Wolf 110, which is fairly rare on it's own, with the 90 being easier to find. A lot of the Defenders for sale at the moment are part of something called the Tithonus Project, designed to extend the active service life from 20 to 30 years. They fitted them with all new parts, suspension upgrades, roll cages and Wolf wheels, but left the 2.5 NA Diesel as is. They then decided to bin a bunch of them so that we can get our grubby mitts on them, good old MOD.

As for mine, apart from a footwell needing replacement, 5 new tyres and all the steering column switches, it passed MOT with no advisories and got an A* clean bill of health from my local Landrover nut jobs.

In the UK it's not so simple to road register and vehicle that was produced in 97 and only put on the road in '14! It took 13 weeks for the DVLA to process my application, and this is after having it MOT'd. Then you just have to wait for your number plates and tax disc to arrive...

Have a look here: http://www.mod-sales.com/ it's where I bought from. New things come and go, and some of the good stuff isn't for direct sale, but rather for auction. The Snatch Landrovers seem to be pretty popular.

I think you have import rules in the US meaning you are limited to a Defender from pre-89(?). Any Series will be fine, but you will only find them for sale privately as they finished active service in 1986

Buick Mackane > 4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30
10/07/2014 at 19:25

Which Series Jaguar do you own?

4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30 > Buick Mackane
10/07/2014 at 19:47

The one with a 2.25 four pot mated to a four speed manual with four wheel drive, four chunky tyres and a Landrover badge ;)

TaBroe > twochevrons
10/19/2014 at 17:30

There's a used car lot by where I live in norther California that sells ex-MOD Land Rovers that were stationed in Germany, which are LHD and have speedos in MPH