More asshaberdashery

"Chairman Kaga" (mike-mckinnon)
09/09/2013 at 17:22 • Filed to: Asshats

I went home on my lunch break to help out my wife deal with our two-year old with strep while she handled our infant.

I was on MoPac south, between Ben White and my exit at Davis Lane, in the middle lane at 70 mph. A Jetta wagon raced up behind me and started sniffing my sphincter. The speed limit was 65, so I wasn't speeding up. I finished passing the cars on my right and pulled over to let her past.

She was, of course, immediately assblocked by a Jeep going 55. Common in texas to have someone doing 10 under in the fast lane. So at the first opportunity she pulls behind me, almost clipping my bumper (so it seemed). Again, she's on my ass at 70 mph. I could barely see her headlights she was so close. I set cruise and waited for my exit. She was getting visibly more upset as the traffic on the left was still doing 5-10 under.

Finally she gets a break and rockets away, as fast as her little 2.0t would take her.

Annnnnnd busted. A motorcycle cop was waiting at the end of the curve (actually there were two, one for each direction). I almost felt compelled to give the cop a thumbs up but thought better of it and went home.

As a fun post-script, I stopped at WhichWich around the corner from our house to grab a sammich on the way back to work. A carload of four bros in an S4 had just unloaded as I was parking.

So at WhichWich, you grab a bag and check all of the boxes for the stuff you want on your sammich. It's actually a great system. While the bros were drawing bewbs or writing "Chad is teh ghey" on the back of their bags (the sandwich makers clip them to a line as they work through the order, and the backs are visible to everyone in the restaurant), I dashed down my order and handed it to the sandwich dude.

I hear, "Chad, that punkass just jumped the line." Followed by a chorus of , "Why do you have to be such a fag, fag?" Etc. The wit almost crippled me, but I proceeded to pay for my food and sit down with my salt and vinegar chips and some tea. I was ribbed off and on the entire wait. Everyone else int he restaurant gave them evil looks but no one said anything. Should I have? Whatever. Just confirmed the Top Gear theory of Audi ownership.

DISCUSSION (12)

Frank Grimes > Chairman Kaga
09/09/2013 at 17:27

I enjoyed your story for many reasons which I will list in numerical order of how they happened.

1. Sweet sweet justice.

2. Salt an vinegar chips and sammiches.

3. douches drive audis.

Leadbull > Chairman Kaga
09/09/2013 at 17:29

I'd stare at them intensely while I slowly took a bite.

Nibby > Chairman Kaga
09/09/2013 at 17:31

I hope your kid feels better soon!

ttyymmnn > Chairman Kaga
09/09/2013 at 17:31

I generally don't indulge in schadenfreude, but sometimes it's just too delicious to pass up. As for the bros, don't feed the trolls. They're not smart enough to get it.

I hope the kiddos get feeling better soon. Having sick kids is a major bummer.

Chairman Kaga > Frank Grimes
09/09/2013 at 17:32

It was a capicola grinder with tapenade and spicy banana peppers.

Chairman Kaga > ttyymmnn
09/09/2013 at 17:33

Strep hasn't slowed her down one bit. She literally jumped out of bed into my arms this morning. Had 101 degree fever. Kids are amazing.

My throat hurts... I want to die.

Frank Grimes > Chairman Kaga
09/09/2013 at 17:34

perfection. I think we have similar tastes in sammmmmmmiches.

ttyymmnn > Chairman Kaga
09/09/2013 at 17:53

Hot tea, sugar, no milk. And lots of Excedrin.

Chairman Kaga > ttyymmnn
09/09/2013 at 17:56

Yup. And stuffing myself with vitamins c,d, and e to boost the ol' immune system...

IDROVEAPICKUPTRUCK > Chairman Kaga
09/09/2013 at 17:57

I hate driving on MoPac, it's always jammed with traffic even if you are able to go 70.

Other notes: Salt and Vinegar Chips FTW

Having a sick toddler sounds awful, I hope she gets better soon.

Know of any good car events coming up in Austin this week? I'm finally getting off this oil rig tomorrow and want to have some fun. I missed cars and coffee on Sunday.

Chairman Kaga > IDROVEAPICKUPTRUCK
09/09/2013 at 18:04

Hmm... no, nothing this week.

The Alfa club is doing its annual fall hill country rive in a few weeks.

There's a swap meet coming up on Sept. 29. No idea if it's worth your time though as I've never been - https://www.facebook.com/events/5175593…

Have you ever been to the Leander car show? Surprisingly awesome - https://www.facebook.com/LeanderCarShow

MoPac is the worst. THE WORST!!!

IDROVEAPICKUPTRUCK > Chairman Kaga
09/09/2013 at 18:26

Hmm, I would have been interested in the swap meet but I'm going to be gone at a wedding that weekend...

Leander car show does look fun. Maybe I'll head out to next months show.

I could be down for the Alfa drive, gotta show off the new volvo I'm picking up tomorrow night. :D No one hates the swedes right?

I avoid MoPac like the plague, luckily I don't have to drive it that much.