"Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast." (twostrokesmoke)
08/20/2013 at 15:11 • Filed to: The Hero We Deserve
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"Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast." (twostrokesmoke)
08/20/2013 at 15:11 • Filed to: The Hero We Deserve | 4
| 1 |
The fact Dick Van Dyke is his real name, not a porn name he never thought to take advantage of, is !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! while mysteriously floating off the coast on his surfboard and then several months later is !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! can only mean one thing. He is a ninja/secret agent.
It all makes sense. Mary Poppins proved that he was a master of accents, seamlessly blending in with English society to observe a Nanny with the magical bag and umbrella to the later disclosure of his own flying car in Chitty-Chitty Bang Bang. That Ian Flemming, creator of a slightly more famous spy, produced it should have been our first clue. The movies were simply made to distract the public from the services Dick was providing.
I don't know exactly what forces were present or what circumstances caused Mr. Van Dyke to become our happy defender, but for all of those years, he did it with a smile on his face! For all of those years we thought the nice old guy on TV was just an actor, it turns out, he has been protecting us from some unseen villainy for decades. Mr. Van Dyke, thank you for your service to mankind, may we continue to be safe because of your efforts. Scott Baio will never be able to fill your mighty shoes!
bikesandcars
> Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast.
08/20/2013 at 16:56 |
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Flaw.
Less.