Since we're all seating by this metaphorical firepit...

"BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion" (pbs) 12/20/2013 at 21:43 • Filed to: None

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In a quiet beach at night, sharing stories of batshit babes past, let me tell you the story of what is probably my biggest summer/girl screw up, or at least the one I regret the most, which took place many, many, many summers ago (actually, february 2006). See, back then I was just an idiotic 15 years old high school student of little intelligence who spent way too much time thinking about Chevelles and Novas and Corvettes. I other words, nothing at all like the grown man of little intelligence I am today who spends way too much time thinking about Chevelles, Novas and Corvettes, no sir, I was a veritable idiot back then, and I was vacationing at this exact same beach upon which we are all metaphorically chillaxin today.

Back then, however, it was mostly a deserted place, with fewer buildings and less apartment blocks and not a lot of people would come over for the summer, specially in february, so young BlazinAce could only wonder about all those manners of summer flings and beach babes popularized by beach movies. Instead, I'd spend most of my waking time, and I had a lot of it, running around with water guns spraying whatever crossed my way with a mix locally known as devil's blood, a volatile base combined with a pH indicator which dyes surfaces red for a while and then disappears. I also did my fair share of loitering, wandering and wasting away. In short, the things idiots do.

Until she came along. Like I said earlier, not a lot of people would come to this specific beach for the summer. Me and family were the only people staying on an otherwise vacant building and I had taken to writing obscenities along the walls, and floors, and ceiling and pretty much everywhere else, with my water guns, so I couldn't help but take notice one night, when an SUV rolled into the garage and parked on a recently dick-printed spot next to our rented apartment's garage. Out came two adults which I couldn't describe if my life depended on it because, from the back seat, came out a young girl, which I'll just assume was around my age, short, very cute, long blond hair, dressed in, I think, a white top and some jean shorts. I watched her for a moment, helping her parents load up whatever luggage they had into a shopping cart and helping them up the elevator, and I remember like it was yeterday because, in a sense, that's what I'd been hoping for all summer.

I also remember when she strolled back, pointing at my cuss words and asked what I was doing, then took the water gun with red dye from my hand and wrote her name and a number, which I'll assume was her phone or apartment number, on a nearby wall, dotting it with a little star. The number, I've since forgotten, but the name, Karine, stuck with me during the two weeks in which we were neighbors, because, in a sense, that's what I'd been hoping for all summer.

She then left without another word and I, being the idiot I was, did nothing. Nothing that is, but ponder about how nice a summer fling she would be for a while, before going back to drawing dicks and writing fucks along the walls. I spent the rest of those two weeks with her as my neighbor and I'd often see her tanning by the pool and would occasionally stop whatever stupid shit I was doing because she'd come over to chat. I wondered why she was so insistent in striking up conversations and how she could seem so curious about the obviously stupid things I did on my own, but the thought that maybe, maybe she had meant something else by writing her name and phone that night wouldn't cross my mind until a full year later, when we went back to the same beach, but stayed on a different building, on the other side of the beach, not a single trace of girls in miles.

If anyone ever wonders just how dumb I am, this is it. Life had pretty much thrown one of those beach movies, in all their cheesiness, my way and I was too dumb to pick it up and run with it, and I could run very, very fast back then. But, like I said, I was an idiot back then, perhaps the biggest of idiots, and I never saw it coming. Godamnit, the perfect summer it would have been, if not for myself.

Anyways, about you oppo? Ever had a similar story where you lost just the perfect chance in such a stupid way that you'd reminisce about it year after year? Feel free to share.

Nick, Drives a Cobalt LT > BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion 12/20/2013 at 21:52

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I've taken every chance thrown at me to get a girl.

Which has been none.

I just stumble upon girls and relationships form. By no ones luck or effort

Leadbull > BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion 12/20/2013 at 22:07

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First semester away at college, I met a girl. Cute, blonde, fun. We hit it off pretty well, but I quickly got stuck in a quicksand pit (aka THE FRIENDZONE). I kept telling myself I'd just go for it one day and ask her out, but since I was a freaking pansy, I never did.

With less than a month of the semester to go, I decided—because of monetary reasons and a general change in educational plans—to move back home and commute to a smaller school.

Because I was a freaking pansy, I told her about this the last possible day, via text, and never saw her again. I so, so, so regret that.

Frank Grimes > BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion 12/20/2013 at 22:16

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I was at a new years dance hanging around talking with my friends wearing my usual outfit of polo shirt and tie and some khakis and sneakers. I thought I must look so rebellious and cool and the polo shirt showed off my guns. I was probably thinking about how awesome my tan polo shirt looked with my blue tie, when a girl I had never seen before walked into the dance I must have been staring she was the best looking girl with boomin systems up top in the front. I must have stared longer. I made up my mind she was indeed the best looking girl at the dance and I must ask her to dance somehow. Luckily my shyness and endless mental arguments for and against asking her for a dance, because by the time I asked her and she said yes!!! It was nearly the new year. We talked while slow dancing and got along great. Then she asked me where I would be when the clock struck in the new year. I thought this queer and replied "I don't know...with my freinds over there." I walked away and returned to talk with my freinds and enjoyed the Brass Monkey blasting out of the speakers. I kept thinking it was odd what she asked me and couldnt get it out of my head. I asked my female friend why she would ask me such an odd question and what it might mean. She then told me what an idiot I was and that she wanted to kiss me for the new year. I immediatley realized what an idiot I was and it made obvious sense however amazing and exciting it might be. The new year begun with regret sorrow and pain and the dance was over. I never saw her again.

To this day I think about that error. It might have changed the course of my life shook me out of my shy tendancies and cemented that fact I could have girls like that and that if I took a risk like that and strode through vulnerability good things could come from them. Maybe we might have been married or maybe it would have just made led to other relationships which I have few of. Or this is just stupid thinking and I should just let it all go and not think that way and not live in the past. But I tell this story to all my female friends to illustrate just how dense men are when women think they are being so obvious and clear.

PS9 > Nick, Drives a Cobalt LT 12/20/2013 at 22:24

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I strike out every single time. Aside from the batshit babe and two others, Lots of pats on the head and wonderful, beautiful, platonic, no-touching-but-let-me-tell-you-about-that-time-my-BFs-dick-touched-one-of-my-tonsils friendship, but nothing more.

We are mortal enemies now. There are no other ways.

Nick, Drives a Cobalt LT > PS9 12/20/2013 at 22:27

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Damn haha

I've never been "friends" with a girl. Its always been well we are alone so....what will happen type shit.

I'll be honest, I've been told I can talk my way in and out of anything I want to.

By random people who barely know me and by people who know me very well.

I'm sorry we are mortal enemies.

Will this be like Spy vs Spy?

Deal Killer - Powered by Focus > Frank Grimes 12/20/2013 at 23:03

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Yep, dense as a rock, you and me both. Apparently, when I was in high school, at least three girls thought I was "good looking". I had no idea, especially the girl who was a year older with a really nice figure. She was pissed I didn't ask her to prom. The biggest "Duh, shit" moment was when I was over at a friends house during the summer. His younger sister, maybe a year younger then I was, had another friend over. Both were in the upper range of good looking. My friend had to leave for work, so his sister & her friend were upstairs when they asked me to come up with them. Well, one thing led to another, and I swung and missed out on probably having every young mans Penthouse Forums dream. I always wonder what would have happened if I wasn't such a clueless young idiot.

thebigbossyboss > Leadbull 12/20/2013 at 23:54

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I did something similar. Now she is married to someone else. However on the other hand if I had her I wouldn't have my current girlfriend whom is awesome in everyway, so I don't regret it, I guess.

BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion > Leadbull 12/21/2013 at 06:45

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Oh yeah, that's nasty... I did that once as well. In the few months of my last year of pre vestibular school (AKA Hell), I became good friends with this awesome girl named Mariana and never got the courage to ask her out, so, in a sense it was me who put myself in the friendzone. Anyways, I'd decided I'd make a move on her birthday, in early January, right after the last vestibular exams, and ask her out to celebrate both the end of the exams and her birthday.

I texted her a sloppy happy birthday message, stayed home, got drunk, never saw her again.