This Custom Mustang Will Haunt Your Dreams

"DailyTurismo" (thedailyturismo) 12/17/2013 at 15:21 • Filed to: Daily Turismo

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Entering the term "custom" into a craigslist automobile search box is the virtual equivalent lifting paving stones in your backyard on a cool fall day. Each click of the mouse brings a new crop of otherworldly multi-legged insects that flee the foreign sun or writhe in surprise.

The anticipation of the next repugnant discovery is more tantalizing than the grisly things found...at least until you discover the Jerusalem cricket of the automotive world. Find this !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! for sale in Carmel Valley, CA for $32,500 via craigslist. Tip from Kaibeezy.

According to the !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! "Many people are startled when they see a Jerusalem cricket for the first time. It is a large insect...up to 50 mm long." I can still clearly recall the first and only time I saw a Jerusalem cricket and it scared the living crap out of me. Not as much as seeing the above Ford Mustang custom...but enough that I dropped the basket of laundry I was holding and ran to get something with standoff capability for bug squishing. It had hopped off by the time I returned, probably into its underground lair to prepare for giving little kids nightmares. Is the Mustang gone yet? Nope, the pic is still there and each time I go back to it I get nightmares.

The seller is quick to point out that this thing features all-steel custom fabrication (as detailed in the build pics on sheetmetalhappens.com) and no one is questioning the capability and skill of the metal worker who created this beast....but skill with a trade and good taste don't always go hand in hand. Pablo Picasso was certainly a talented artist as demonstrated by his early work and even into the blue/rose periods...but his later cubism work is total garbage and his lifelong devotion to Trotskyist communism (while earning him the ironically named Stalin Peace Prize) demonstrates that skill and wisdom do not go hand in hand.

The use of Lotus Elise headlights up front is questionable, but the 1989 Cadillac tail lights in the rear is not questionable — it is hideous. See another Teenage Mutant Alien Mustang? Type "format c:" into your command prompt and never contact us again.

Sometimes the answer isn't a V6 mustang.

Originally posted as !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! on !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! .

Photo credits; craigslist, sheetmetalhappens.com, orkin.com

HammerheadFistpunch > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 15:22

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William Byrd > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 15:22

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Oh. Dear. God.

Someone step on it. Ewwwww!

DailyTurismo > HammerheadFistpunch 12/17/2013 at 15:25

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Couldn't have put it better myself...but I am a big fan of the nope-nope-nope octopus.

505Turbeaux > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 15:26

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what, were they going for some weird take on a p1800 with the fins and grille?

CAR_IS_MI > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 15:27

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CAR_IS_MI > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 15:27

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Damn, How did this guy get his hands on a 2015 Mustang so fast???

Joey Quinn > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 15:31

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And its bought by........

Brewman15 > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 15:31

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KILL IT WITH FIRE!

Who the hell would appraise that thing at $75k?

Also, it's a massive pet peeve of mine when you list something on craigslist for a decent chunk of change and can't even both to check spelling of words like 'Elise' or 'Cadillac'.

Group B-raaaaaaaaaap! > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 15:32

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RazoE > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 15:38

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In Mexico we call Jerusalem Crickets "Niños de la tierra" or "child of the earth"

Hell yes we're scared of them.

Frank Grimes > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 15:47

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I never undersand people like this. I think it should be in the updated DSM for mental problems. How on earth does one spend that much time working on a car and not at any point stand back and survey his creation and think that looks like crap.

KB Garage > CAR_IS_MI 12/17/2013 at 15:56

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DatASSun > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 16:44

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its burning my eyes...

teh_d3th_st4r > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 19:25

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The-Ever-Socially-Apathetic TBAL > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 19:26

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I knew I had seen this before...

http://jalopnik.com/5888301/this-i…

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

THOMAS5 > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 19:27

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ITS GREAT

IT HAS THE SPORTINESS OF A LOTUS

THE POWER OF A MUSTANG

AND THE COMFORT OF A CADDY

WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT

Mini_Fanatic > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 19:27

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flabberboozled > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 19:28

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I don't care that its hideous. To each their own. But, its tacky to think that you can charge $32k because that's what you put in. Just no.

Goofnik > Brewman15 12/17/2013 at 19:29

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>Who the hell would appraise that thing at $75k?

Someone probably took the original price of the car, and multiplied the hours of labor times a labor rate, added in materials, and therefore decided it was potentially worth as much as a reasonably well equipped new Porsche Cayman S. They did not, however, put the crack pipe down.

jcpwn3r > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 19:30

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M54B30 > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 19:30

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Forward opening hoods need to make a come back, they're cool.

Lars Vargas was hoping 2020 would be quieter > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 19:32

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Stevie Wonder called. He likes it.

Let's hope he buys it and insists on driving it home ending in the inevitable accident where Stevie walks away but this thing is destroyed.

Bilious1234 > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 19:32

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Pretty close.

The Transporter > KB Garage 12/17/2013 at 19:34

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Ripley would agree.

Doctor-G-and-the-wagen > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 19:37

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I'm sure this was posted on Jalop before, or some variant thereof. Either way, still ugly.

JCAlan > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 19:37

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Starting at $30,000 and working backward, I tried to find an amount of my own real money that I would actually pay for this. Taking into account that I would almost certainly never find a person to sell it to ever, and that at some point I would have to drive it/ be seen in it/ have people know that I own it......I came up with 800 dollars. I would pay $800 for this. Anyone willing to pay more?

Busslayer > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 19:37

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After putting in that much work, he couldn't spring for some aftermarket wheels? The ugly stockers immediately draw your mind to the fact it is a chopped up Mustang.

Harris_the_Unknowing > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 19:39

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Mustang Truckster.

stigshift > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 19:41

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It looked better wrecked...

ethanheisler > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 19:42

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Looks better than before.

Scrape > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 19:43

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That has to be worse than 90% of the Fiero mods out there. Horrid, just horrid. It is unfathomable that someone would A. Find this attractive, B. Do this to a car, C. Then try to sell it, D. Someone actually purchase it, and E. All of the above.

Nismogtr600 > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 19:43

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I don't mock people who modify their cars. I might have a chuckle if I see a neon green Neon with a GT wing and neon street glows driving by...but I appreciate the fact that whoever this is, loves his car, has a passion for it and in some way is a "car guy"

This person, should be grabbed by the back of the neck, slammed on the hood of this car and beaten over the head with a shoe.

Ad_absurdum_per_aspera > 505Turbeaux 12/17/2013 at 19:44

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Mostly that, and some of what a friend of mine calls the Pokemon-character era of Mazdas. Pull some Ferrariesque side strakes around to the front like certain TV personalities who've had one too many facelifts. And maybe he was trying for big-block AC Cobra with that grille. The middle is fine but then we swing around to a rear end that looks like it belongs on a custom pickup truck.

As others have noted, his craftsmanship looks terrific, but toward what end? It's a reminder that cars have to be designed by artists (and even they probably pound a lot of clay models back into an amorphous blob and start over... something they do, in addition to a lot of sketching, before cutting metal).

I think that you could make something... well, not imitative, but evocative, of a Testarossa out of it without starting over completely. The front end would need to be non pointy and stay near full width all the way, for starters; lose at least the more forward of the scoops; and please, those headlights are great for a few very specific shapes that do not include this one.

Not unsalvageable, but certainly several good ideas that are exceedingly awkward together. I hope he meets someone whose artistic skills match his fabrication skills and this is the raw material for their first project.

Scrape > Joey Quinn 12/17/2013 at 19:44

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When you address him, it is proper to call him Will.You.Is.

472CID > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 19:44

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Tom > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 19:45

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Solid axle best axle? Murika man wants something that cannot possibly be done with a body kit! Lotus body doesn't equal lotus chassis. Lotus front end clone on a Mustang equals infinite laughs had by all!

The back is just a big WTF. If you look at this guys website www.sheetmetalhappens.com , its clear that he is stellar at making great cars look like complete shit.

Nintondo-San > JCAlan 12/17/2013 at 19:46

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I'll go $801. Then part it out.

Titanius Anglesmith > flabberboozled 12/17/2013 at 19:47

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Haven't come across a school of rock gif before. Hats off to you.

Titanius Anglesmith > RazoE 12/17/2013 at 19:49

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You have drug cartels killing people by the scores and you're afraid of a cricket??? Makes plenty of sense.

JCAlan > Nintondo-San 12/17/2013 at 19:50

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Not a bad idea. But if you part it out...you'll still be left with THE WORST PARTS. How would you dispose of them without being seen? Bury in the back yard maybe? I personally couldn't sleep in a house knowing that those bizarre bits were out there under the sod.

Carwood > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 19:50

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Although this seems to be a Frankenstein of a finished project and I am extremely terrified of this design, I cant help but commend an individual who was actually able to design and build something on their own...a lot of us want to take on project cars and are unable to do so for an assortment of reasons. And I'll put this above Dragonvette because a lot more effort went into this than a weekend trip to Autozone and the Home Depot

Justal > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 19:50

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I like this game. I got this.

Jared Glentz > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 19:52

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Goatsausage > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 19:53

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theres just too much lsd in the world.

FireSpittingV12 > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 19:56

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Incinerate it with fire

Drakkon- Most Glorious and Upright Person of Genius > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 19:57

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<<< Crazy whacked out shit over there!!

>>> Crazy whacked out shit over there!!

>><< Boring right here.

DailyTurismo > JCAlan 12/17/2013 at 19:57

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Just please don't entomb it near an Indian burial ground because I've seen the movie Pet Cemetery...and I wouldn't want an undead version of this wandering the streets.

Stökeometric > Scrape 12/17/2013 at 19:58

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More like Will.You.Was. since he's hardly relevant anymore.

DailyTurismo > 472CID 12/17/2013 at 19:58

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Shelby Super Snape version?

DailyTurismo > RazoE 12/17/2013 at 19:59

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The first time I saw a Jerusalem Cricket I really looked around for a tiny UFO landing site because I was certain it was an alien lifeform.

Fuel_of_Satan > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 20:01

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I was a bit worried about the front looking a bit too much like a racecar. You know, writing checks it can't sign. But fortunately he added a touch of class with those taillights!

sfmikee > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 20:01

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You forgot to mention the ad says it was Appraised at $75,000 ... I say buy buy buy! Total bargain.

Seriously, I don't think there's any amount of ridicule too much for the creator of this abomination. You're better off going to Super Replicas.

TwinCharged - Is Now UK Opponaut > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 20:02

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Enjoy.

lingenfelter > Scrape 12/17/2013 at 20:02

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Only 90%?

I can't think of a Fiero mod that I wouldn't drive instead of this thing.

lingenfelter > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 20:04

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The solitary redeeming feature is the Lotus headlights (for which the whole front end of the car is mangled), and even taking them into account, this car is not even in the nice-price universe at 32k.

DoktorZombie > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 20:11

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Custom car?

NAILED IT.

Elderstarr > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 20:13

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I see your abortion... and raise you a Mustang with down syndrome

SUBARU-BLOKE > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 20:14

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for some of the British readers out there....

Frankenbike666 > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 20:14

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Looks like it's halfway there:

It seems $32,000 more expensive than a LeMons race car should cost. It would give Porcumotors and #89 a run for their money.

webmonkees > The-Ever-Socially-Apathetic TBAL 12/17/2013 at 20:18

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The inspiration

Brandon Nguyen > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 20:21

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Mean while at the Mansory tuning division.

AbeVigodasSon > webmonkees 12/17/2013 at 20:22

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Man, I miss that show!

Limp Home Mode > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 20:23

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Apparently these guys are in the business of turning innocent cars into piles of hideous shit:

http://www.sheetmetalhappens.com/buildphotos.ht…

Brian, The Life of > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 20:23

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Circa mid-90s Caddy tail lights?

Why the fuck not? You've ruined it from every other angle ...

designlife > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 20:27

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i personally hate it, and asking this much for it is telling me his wife/ daughter might need more meth. however asking this much for it makes me believe that he is trying to avoid selling it or he is currently on meth.

112358132134 > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 20:28

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Wave Motion Gun > THOMAS5 12/17/2013 at 20:28

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472CID > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 20:31

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Leviosaa? more like levi-grossa

twinturbo2 > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 20:32

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Still looks better than the 2015 Mustang.

newtexian > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 20:36

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I fully support people customizing their cars to make them their own... but holy shit...

danielm26 > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 20:38

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all he needs is a good designer now

aimawayfromface3 > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 20:39

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Reminds me of the Octoparrot:

Polly shouldn't be.

newtexian > Elderstarr 12/17/2013 at 20:40

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deer gawd...

LionZoo > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 20:41

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What a waste of good Lotus headlights.

Spaldino > 472CID 12/17/2013 at 20:45

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RONALLLLD WEEASSSSLLEEEYYYY...

p.s. It's levios-UHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Galant Enthusiast > JCAlan 12/17/2013 at 20:45

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I'd say burn it but it really isn't worthy of a viking funeral. So that leaves acid, you could melt it with acid.

Weather and Darkness > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 20:50

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i have two complaints. the first being, that it's enough with the fear of bugs already. Christ people! Second, not all Picasso's cubist era stuff was of the same caliber, some of it is genius and some of it is clearly sketchwork.

webmonkees > AbeVigodasSon 12/17/2013 at 20:52

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For the crazy projects, next best thing is Red Green. Definitely a lack in proper television role models these days. As far as this car goes, I give it a 5 in technical application of sheet metal, with a -5 for not seeing the shape. There's one in there, this is just not it.

AthomSfere > Frank Grimes 12/17/2013 at 20:53

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But if we ruled Mustang ownership a mental problem, we would lose like 90% of rural America...

Or you just don't like red Mustangs?

dinknight > 505Turbeaux 12/17/2013 at 20:56

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This thing is gorgeous

RyanFrew > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 20:56

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All I can see...is a Honda Accord

keithlinco > JCAlan 12/17/2013 at 20:56

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I like the topic. And I must say, I would probably pay $800 for any vehicle that runs. I mean, a rusted out 81 Datsun pickup with a busted window is worth $800 just to jump it into a lake or crush it with a sledge hammer.

But I'm seriously wondering if I'd pay $800 for this. The mechanical bits are worth much more than that. Let's say parting it out is out of the question. You can resell it, drive it, leave it a home, but you can't part it out. I don't think I'd pay $800.

I mean, I've driven shitty cars. I'd drive the aforementioned 81 Datsun AFTER the sledge hammer party. But I don't think I'd drive this.

I don't know... put in the Lemons race maybe. Perhaps I could I practice driving down boat ramps at high speed.

This thing sucks.

CzechMonster > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 21:04

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fritzo > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 21:05

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+

+

=

THAT CAR

001110000011000000111000 > CAR_IS_MI 12/17/2013 at 21:11

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dustin_driver > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 21:15

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Nothing can drown out the sounds of my screams.

Frank Grimes > AthomSfere 12/17/2013 at 21:28

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Apparently you are blind and on the internet somehow.

welder-ed > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 21:29

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this was on nice price or crack pipe awhile ago. somebody must have figured that custom bodywork was a good way to make people forget about the salvage title.it's still a hideous mess.

kyle242gt > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 21:29

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WTAF is suppposed to be happening here at the front of the tailfin? It's like he built it too high and then said "fukkit, zigzags are still cool, right? RIGHT? RIGHT."

Doctor-G-and-the-wagen > Jared Glentz 12/17/2013 at 21:30

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Good lord it's like when a zombie is ripped in half. The top part just keeps crawling after you!

theBKA > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 21:32

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Hahaha... nope. As a side note thanks for the Picasso bit. Seriously eff that guy.

DntPnc > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 21:48

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Searching craigslist for custom is one of my favorite pastimes. For instance: http://losangeles.craigslist.org/lac/cto/424151…

Maxximtl > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 21:50

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Shit happens might be a better name for his shop, because this thing is worth less than the wreck he started with.

Audistein > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 21:50

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Elise headlights? What in the world?

ranwhenparked > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 21:59

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Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should.

PillowSmeller > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 22:02

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It seems to be asking for someone to kill it, but cant cuz it is too ugly!

ToastedTires > JCAlan 12/17/2013 at 22:04

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Sell the engine, trans, wheels, tires and headlights.

Pull the custom body work off and sell for scrap.

Acquire used engine and trans and replacement body panels. Take-off parts from roush (including wheels and tires) are very affordable.

Paint.

Doing the work at home, I could see this as a pretty solid project car that could be sellable for less than $3000.

PyramidHat > DailyTurismo 12/17/2013 at 22:04

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Holy Mother of Fuck that shit's ugly. Those headlamps remind my Dame Edna...Also, look at the gap where the hood meets the fender - you can fly a plane through that shit.

This thing is a violation of geometry, theology and good taste.

PyramidHat > The-Ever-Socially-Apathetic TBAL 12/17/2013 at 22:07

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Oh, holy shit! I did not know about the guillotine doors....Oh God! The tacky! It burns!

PyramidHat > 505Turbeaux 12/17/2013 at 22:08

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Thank you for posting that. It's wonderful to wash my eyes with such svelte beauty after seeing the SUX3000, above.